So, i thought i'd post a poem.

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  • Aleste
    stating the obvious.
    • Oct 2003
    • 337
    #1

    So, i thought i'd post a poem.

    Maybe this is more likened to prose. tell me what you think. it is titled "adrift."


    the soft light that hangs in the mist
    above impenetrable waters,
    churning murkily beneath heavy feet,
    illuminates the pieces
    of a forgotten memory.
    Unable to follow; watching
    with solemn eyes that glisten
    as if trapped in the past.
    The thoughts dance serenely
    out to sea, gliding out delicately
    across the surface of a broken dream;
    Exhuming idle feelings to
    never return again.
    Last edited by Aleste; 04-24-2008, 06:25 PM.
    Tags: None
    • indigo23
      FFR Player
      • Dec 2004
      • 104
      #2
      Re: So, i thought i'd post a poem.

      I like it.

      Very pretty. Almost surreal, actually.


      mY hOPES aRE sO hIGH tHAT yOUR kISS mIGHT kILL mE
      sO wON'T yOU kILL mE, sO i dIE hAPPY
      mY hEART iS yOURS tO fILL oR bURST, tO bREAK oR bURY, oR wEAR aS jEWELRY
      wHICHEVER yOU pREFER

        Comment

        • Aristaella-Shintani
          FFR Player
          • May 2008
          • 1
          #3
          Re: So, i thought i'd post a poem.

          It's a pretty good poem, but the bolded part below is kind of off... I dunno, there's something missing there. The rest is good, though. I like it

          Originally posted by Aleste
          Maybe this is more likened to prose. tell me what you think. it is titled "adrift."


          the soft light that hangs in the mist
          above impenetrable waters,
          churning murkily beneath heavy feet,
          illuminates the pieces
          of a forgotten memory.
          Unable to follow; watching
          with solemn eyes that glisten
          as if trapped in the past.
          The thoughts dance serenely
          out to sea, gliding out delicately
          across the surface of a broken dream;
          Exhuming idle feelings to
          never return again.

            Comment

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