Your Dream (Poem)

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  • MalReynolds
    CHOCK FULL O' NUTRIENTS
    • Sep 2003
    • 6571

    #1

    Your Dream (Poem)

    In the satchel, I held your dreams.
    The keys to your happiness.
    You tried to pull at my seams,
    But I would not let them go.

    Your flaxen hair outlining your face,
    Good tempered with your pale skin,
    And you begged, love displaced,
    But I would not let them go.

    You offered up your family treasure,
    The gift from both father and mother,
    To purchase your dreams without measure,
    But I would not let them go.

    Because I knew if I took you there,
    If I let you follow me into the dark,
    That you would be left robbed of your flare,
    So I would not let them go.

    And I ached, how I ached, to learn,
    Just how you could sell yourself so easily,
    A beautiful girl, not meant to burn,
    So I would not let them go.

    You cried that the bear had left you,
    Running out in the wonton winter,
    And why you needed them, now I knew,
    But I could not let them go.

    I played the Joker to your regal Queen,
    And pretended to take on your vices,
    Your eyes sparkled a verdant green,
    But I could not let them go.

    The baby, the cradle, bird and nest,
    I found you where no other could,
    Dislike me for knowing you best,
    So I would not let them go.

    Some day down the line, you may thank me,
    Or perhaps you will just forget what I’ve done.
    I kept you from falling from the tree,
    Which is why I could not let them go.
    "A new take on the epic fantasy genre... Darkly comic, relatable characters... twisted storyline."

    "Readers who prefer tension and romance, Maledictions: The Offering, delivers... As serious YA fiction, I’ll give it five stars out of five. As a novel? Four and a half." - Liz Ellor


    My new novel:

    Maledictions: The Offering.

    Now in Paperback!
  • Verruckter
    FFR Player
    • Apr 2004
    • 2707

    #2
    Re: Your Dream (Poem)

    Very good, I liked it.
    Truth lies in loneliness, When hope is long gone by -Blind Guardian, The Soulforged
    Image removed for size violation.

    Comment

    • igotrhythm
      Fractals!
      • Sep 2004
      • 6535

      #3
      Re: Your Dream (Poem)

      It's an interesting device how you ended each stanza the way you did, but my personal taste is more for poems that have a meter, so I can't say I like it that much. Sounds like it's very emotional, though.
      Originally posted by thesunfan
      I literally spent 10 minutes in the library looking for the TWG forum on Smogon and couldn't find it what the fuck is this witchcraft IGR

      Comment

      • MalReynolds
        CHOCK FULL O' NUTRIENTS
        • Sep 2003
        • 6571

        #4
        Re: Your Dream (Poem)

        It's about a girl trying to score drugs from the narrator, who refuses to sell them to her.

        Totally based on a dream I had where I was able to lace THC into Hershey Kisses.

        EDIT:

        More in depth breakdown -

        S1: I have a bag of drugs, but you can't have them.
        S2: You're much too valuable to waste your life.
        S3: You offer sex for the drugs, but I'll be strong, even though you're totally smokin' hot.
        S4: And because I know if you used the drugs, it'd ruin you.
        S5: I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I robbed the world of you.
        S6: You ply me by saying your husband has left you, leaving a void.
        S7: So I cradle you, and offer you sweet nothings while you weep.
        S8: I find you in a typical state, in a typical place, and it angers you that I sought you out.
        S9: Maybe one day you'll remember that I saved you. Or maybe you'll forget me and find someone else.

        DOUBLE EDIT:

        It's about maintaining strength, no matter the cost. Also, I'm way hopped up on allergy meds right now that are making me super drowsy.
        Last edited by MalReynolds; 04-16-2008, 09:58 AM.
        "A new take on the epic fantasy genre... Darkly comic, relatable characters... twisted storyline."

        "Readers who prefer tension and romance, Maledictions: The Offering, delivers... As serious YA fiction, I’ll give it five stars out of five. As a novel? Four and a half." - Liz Ellor


        My new novel:

        Maledictions: The Offering.

        Now in Paperback!

        Comment

        • andy-o24
          Married Man
          • May 2006
          • 1525

          #5
          Re: Your Dream (Poem)

          I knew, it being a Mal story, that there was some deep meaning before I even opened the thread. I was ready to try and find that meaning by the end of the poem, but had no success.

          After that breakdown, Mal, I re-read the poem and it made perfect sense. Despite the scheme in which you wrote it, it delivered the message and left a lasting impact on the reader. Heh, I thought it was actually about a man holding on to dreams, possibly someone restless at night. Nice poem, Mal, I really liked it.

          -o24
          Originally posted by hi19hi19
          Best strat: enjoy the game, play what you feel like when you feel like it. Don't think about what you are doing or why, enjoy the gameplay, the artistry behind the stepfile, and enjoy the music.

          When the game isn't fun for you anymore, take a break. It's not a job, nobody here is professional and getting paid to play and force themselves to constantly improve... it's a game.

          Originally posted by Shashakiro
          Yeah, FFR is addicting...I don't think I'll get bored with this game unless I somehow become the best at it, which won't happen.

          Comment

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