How I left my mother.

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  • zhul4nder
    FFR Player
    • Jun 2006
    • 231
    #1

    How I left my mother.

    Mother tree

    My brothers are picking on me
    They say I am brown, I'm ugly
    But surely mother, my mother
    Would she love me how I am supposed to be?

    No, she abandons me.
    I am brown, I am tainted
    I am of no use to her...

    Clipped from her limbs, clipped from humanity
    I fall.

    Into the depths below, gaping, writhing in filth.

    Oh my Brethren above, green as can be
    Absorbing sunlight, glinting, glistening
    Away from the filth to which I landed,
    Away from the place which they condemn to bandits.

    I flutter slowly, effortlessly, allowing the magic of gravity to take me in his arms
    soothing me painless passing
    Oh how lovely, the weightlessness, I tremble at the sensation
    It grips me firm and holds me, in motion.

    And what? the bountiful breeze catches me too!
    I spin and twirl into action
    soaring higher, and higher, above my brothers
    and mother.

    An endless cycle throws me
    higher, and higher
    Into the sun that glistens on my brothers

    I am brown, I am ugly?

    I am, A legend-

    - please note that I am not impling that I'm African American, nor am i implying that African Americans are ugly, or bad in any sense.
    It adds only to the effect of my poem

    In fact, I am asian and as white as an as asian could possibly get XD
    flame on
    Last edited by zhul4nder; 12-25-2007, 02:09 AM.

    [url=http://www.narutoflow.com/character-quiz/]Take the Naruto Character

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    • andy-o24
      Married Man
      • May 2006
      • 1525
      #2
      Re: How I left my mother.

      I'll be completely honest, I sorta' liked it. It had a message that was deep and easily portrayed by your words. At the end I thought it was going to say I Am Legend.

      -o24
      Originally posted by hi19hi19
      Best strat: enjoy the game, play what you feel like when you feel like it. Don't think about what you are doing or why, enjoy the gameplay, the artistry behind the stepfile, and enjoy the music.

      When the game isn't fun for you anymore, take a break. It's not a job, nobody here is professional and getting paid to play and force themselves to constantly improve... it's a game.

      Originally posted by Shashakiro
      Yeah, FFR is addicting...I don't think I'll get bored with this game unless I somehow become the best at it, which won't happen.

        Comment

        • who_cares973
          FFR Player
          • Aug 2006
          • 15407
          #3
          Re: How I left my mother.

          i liked it

          reminds me of a story..

            Comment

            • zhul4nder
              FFR Player
              • Jun 2006
              • 231
              #4
              Re: How I left my mother.

              please tell

              [url=http://www.narutoflow.com/character-quiz/]Take the Naruto Character

              for brawlers: 2836-1905-4019
              I don't know how well it'll work, but give me a add , or pm me so i can add you.

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                • chuckey
                  FFR Player
                  • Dec 2005
                  • 137
                  #5
                  Re: How I left my mother.

                  I really enjoyed that. Does the "brown" mean your bark if i was to imply that you were an actual tree. So then if i refer the "bark" as skin on a person then your poem implies to me that you are an outcast. (not you specifically). Or am i thinking to hard?

                  JESUS LOVES YA!!!!!!!!!!!!



                    Comment

                    • ShastaTwist
                      FFR Veteran
                      • Sep 2004
                      • 599
                      #6
                      Re: How I left my mother.

                      He's a brown, dead leaf. :l

                        Comment

                        • chuckey
                          FFR Player
                          • Dec 2005
                          • 137
                          #7
                          Re: How I left my mother.

                          I guess I was thinking too hard. Well it was still a deep poem.

                          JESUS LOVES YA!!!!!!!!!!!!



                            Comment

                            • zhul4nder
                              FFR Player
                              • Jun 2006
                              • 231
                              #8
                              Re: How I left my mother.

                              Originally posted by chuckey
                              I guess I was thinking too hard. Well it was still a deep poem.
                              Well, poems are always up for interpretation. If you think the poem means I was the tree, then go for it XD

                              The reason why I stuck the brown and ugly part was for the protagonist within the poem (I sorta consider this as an epic poem) to "mock" those had betrayed him.

                              The latter half of the poem was to tell of the adventure of new experiences. Like 'magic' it was written. 'I fall' into the dark unknown. Logically, when a leaf falls from a tree, it doesn't just plop down. With gravity and the air medium, it wavers in almost a dance like motion, and preceding all of this, is the moment where I decided to "let go" of my mother tree, to let go of my past/comfort zone (or in his case get kicked out). As it lingers in the air for however long it does, it maybe picked up with the wind and soar, becoming successful in an open world of mystery.

                              Then again, you can always interpret it as there always being a dirty floor. A floor that everyone will eventually drown in.
                              Last edited by zhul4nder; 01-14-2008, 12:34 AM.

                              [url=http://www.narutoflow.com/character-quiz/]Take the Naruto Character

                              for brawlers: 2836-1905-4019
                              I don't know how well it'll work, but give me a add , or pm me so i can add you.

                                Comment

                                • foilman8805
                                  smoke wheat hail satin
                                  FFR Simfile Author
                                  • Sep 2006
                                  • 5704
                                  #9
                                  Re: How I left my mother.

                                  Pleasing. ^_^

                                  Arguably one of the better pieces I have read out of this forum.

                                  The only thing that was kind of bothered me was the use of the word 'humanity'. We're talking about trees here...perhaps another word is in need?

                                    Comment

                                    • ShastaTwist
                                      FFR Veteran
                                      • Sep 2004
                                      • 599
                                      #10
                                      Re: How I left my mother.

                                      Treeanity.

                                        Comment

                                        • foilman8805
                                          smoke wheat hail satin
                                          FFR Simfile Author
                                          • Sep 2006
                                          • 5704
                                          #11
                                          Re: How I left my mother.

                                          Yes. Just what I was looking for. -_-

                                            Comment

                                            • zhul4nder
                                              FFR Player
                                              • Jun 2006
                                              • 231
                                              #12
                                              Re: How I left my mother.

                                              how about...community?

                                              [url=http://www.narutoflow.com/character-quiz/]Take the Naruto Character

                                              for brawlers: 2836-1905-4019
                                              I don't know how well it'll work, but give me a add , or pm me so i can add you.

                                                Comment

                                                • foilman8805
                                                  smoke wheat hail satin
                                                  FFR Simfile Author
                                                  • Sep 2006
                                                  • 5704
                                                  #13
                                                  Re: How I left my mother.

                                                  I was thinking maybe just delete 'clipped from humanity' and just have

                                                  Clipped from her limbs,
                                                  I fall.

                                                    Comment

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