So yeah, here it is. Why do I even bother writing? I never end up finishing anything... I'm really growing to hate that about myself.
The craziest thing about my life was how incredibly normal it was. Well maybe I shouldn’t call it normal, normal people lead somewhat interesting lives; lives that include family trips, parties, friendships, hardships, memories. My life consisted of none of these things. Sure, I had a family, I had friends, and I even went to parties. But there was something different about all these things in my life; they were uneventful.
Okay, so they probably weren’t uneventful, but I certainly saw them as such. People came into and left my life, people dated and broke up, people moved away, and people died. People are all over the place; it isn’t uncommon to have these things happen in ones life. It was most certainly an oddity though, to have none of the aforementioned events affect your life in any way.
So if nothing had affected my life in any sort of way until that point, why did something suddenly change? What was wrong with the way my life was then? I didn’t make any trouble with anyone; no one brought harm to me. Was there some kind of universal payment system that every vessel of life in every society ever created had to follow? Was I not exhibiting a respectable amount of emotion to be considered part of existence? I still don’t know the answer to those questions. What I do know, however, is that if I had known exactly how significant my life was going to become at the beginning of my second year of university, I’d have never asked my parents to send me to a school so very far from home.
****
One
“Jon, dude, wake up!”
“Huh?”
“Wake up man, we’re going to be late!”
Jonathan Kensington’s eyes burned as he opened them to scan his dormitory room. It was still dark. Upon further inspection, he noticed someone moving back and forth rather frantically only a few feet from his bed. Rolling over to grab his glasses from the nightstand, he squint his eyes in a feeble attempt to read the blurry red numbers of his alarm clock.
“It’s one-thirty Jon, don’t tell me you’ve forgotten already!”
Jon shoved his glasses onto his nose and checked his clock. It read twenty eight minutes past one. The now-annoying pacer behind him, who also happened to be his one and only friend at Baron Academy, Aaron Arkland, hadn’t been lying. He also had been correct in mentioning that Jon had forgotten why he was being roused at such a ridiculous time.
“Well, I kind of have.”
Aaron groaned and threw himself down on his own bed, only a few feet from where Jon now sat. Its sheets were still perfectly folded as they had been earlier that evening; he hadn’t even gone to bed.
“You mean to tell me that we snag a blueprint of the girls’ dorm, plan a massive panty raid, even construct three escape procedures and you can’t remember the date and time of the event?”
“Must’ve slipped my mind, sorry.”
“You’re so full of ****.”
Jon chuckled. He really hadn’t thought his friend was going to see this insane plot through. It was one thing to talk about collecting female underwear, even one thing to sniff it in your own time, behind closed doors. But to go out of your way, extremely out of your way, to do so, was just unfathomable to Jon. He had hoped Aaron would realize the errors of his ways and just go and sift through the laundry room in the co-ed dorm again.
Finally sitting up, Jon reached over the edge of his bed and grabbed the worn pair of jeans he’d been wearing only a few hours ago before swinging his legs out from under his sheets and pulling the denim onto them.
“You really wanna go through with this, buddy?”
Jon heard his friend snort. Snorting meant Aaron was appalled. He sighed.
“Alright, but I’m not actually entering the building, you know that, right?”
Aaron snorted again, this time a little louder. Jon stopped himself from laughing.
“I’ll take that as a yes.”
Baron Academy was a privately owned school with a privately run faculty. It was also one of the most renowned schools in the country. Jon often found himself wondering how he’d managed to get into this place at all. An SAT score of 1550 was impressive, but somehow Jon seemed certain that it was nowhere near high enough to warrant entry into this building; or buildings rather. The school’s campus consisted of nearly 30 buildings, all separated by lush, green gardens and almost forest sized trees that never seemed to need grooming. Every window of every building seemed to reflect moonlight as perfectly as if it were a mirror aimed directly into Jon’s still burning eyes. The two prowlers made their way through some of the less tidy shrubbery on the western edge of the school ground and emerged on the backside of the girls’ dormitory. The three story structure stood silent, not one of its windows lighted, yet all of them seemed to be the eyes of the moon and the moon was calling them perverts. Jon turned back to his partner in crime.
“You’re sure you want to do this?”
“Do bears **** in the woods?”
“You’re such a hoot.”
“Hooting. Owls. Woods. Good one.”
The two friends shared a quiet snicker before closing in on the dorm. Jon really hadn’t expected to make it this far. Apparently Thursday nights weren’t as busy as most of the students had made them out to seem, or at least this one wasn’t. Campus security usually made rounds three to four times an hour, which unfortunately meant parties were broken up before any of the “good” stuff started going down, but tonight Jon welcomed the absence of the painstakingly familiar red white and black sedans that threatened expulsion.
Odd as it was, Baron Academy had three dormitory buildings: one for males, one for females and one co-ed. The co-ed dorm was by far the most popular, and for good reason. It stood almost in the exact center of the campus, and was surrounded by the four most expected buildings imaginable: the gymnasium, the drama building, the campus bookstore, which sold much more than just books, and the sports complex. The boys’ dorm stood in the southeastern corner of the campus, making it the furthest possible building from the girls’ dorm, which sat directly opposite of it in the northwestern corner of campus. Entry into the single sex dorms was strictly monitored, a fact that boggled many students’ minds; a fact that lay foremost in Jon’s mind the moment he heard his friend crack the door into what he had been describing as “panty paradise” for weeks.
“Alright, this is it. I’m going in.”
“Good luck.”
“You remember what to do in case of emergency?”
“Yeah, I got the glove right here.”
“Well wave me in then, oh mighty fire god.”
Jon grabbed the latex glove from his right jean pocket and flapped it in the direction of the door. He caught a glimpse of excitement in Aaron’s eyes before they, and the rest of his friend, disappeared into the girl’s dorm.
The craziest thing about my life was how incredibly normal it was. Well maybe I shouldn’t call it normal, normal people lead somewhat interesting lives; lives that include family trips, parties, friendships, hardships, memories. My life consisted of none of these things. Sure, I had a family, I had friends, and I even went to parties. But there was something different about all these things in my life; they were uneventful.
Okay, so they probably weren’t uneventful, but I certainly saw them as such. People came into and left my life, people dated and broke up, people moved away, and people died. People are all over the place; it isn’t uncommon to have these things happen in ones life. It was most certainly an oddity though, to have none of the aforementioned events affect your life in any way.
So if nothing had affected my life in any sort of way until that point, why did something suddenly change? What was wrong with the way my life was then? I didn’t make any trouble with anyone; no one brought harm to me. Was there some kind of universal payment system that every vessel of life in every society ever created had to follow? Was I not exhibiting a respectable amount of emotion to be considered part of existence? I still don’t know the answer to those questions. What I do know, however, is that if I had known exactly how significant my life was going to become at the beginning of my second year of university, I’d have never asked my parents to send me to a school so very far from home.
****
One
“Jon, dude, wake up!”
“Huh?”
“Wake up man, we’re going to be late!”
Jonathan Kensington’s eyes burned as he opened them to scan his dormitory room. It was still dark. Upon further inspection, he noticed someone moving back and forth rather frantically only a few feet from his bed. Rolling over to grab his glasses from the nightstand, he squint his eyes in a feeble attempt to read the blurry red numbers of his alarm clock.
“It’s one-thirty Jon, don’t tell me you’ve forgotten already!”
Jon shoved his glasses onto his nose and checked his clock. It read twenty eight minutes past one. The now-annoying pacer behind him, who also happened to be his one and only friend at Baron Academy, Aaron Arkland, hadn’t been lying. He also had been correct in mentioning that Jon had forgotten why he was being roused at such a ridiculous time.
“Well, I kind of have.”
Aaron groaned and threw himself down on his own bed, only a few feet from where Jon now sat. Its sheets were still perfectly folded as they had been earlier that evening; he hadn’t even gone to bed.
“You mean to tell me that we snag a blueprint of the girls’ dorm, plan a massive panty raid, even construct three escape procedures and you can’t remember the date and time of the event?”
“Must’ve slipped my mind, sorry.”
“You’re so full of ****.”
Jon chuckled. He really hadn’t thought his friend was going to see this insane plot through. It was one thing to talk about collecting female underwear, even one thing to sniff it in your own time, behind closed doors. But to go out of your way, extremely out of your way, to do so, was just unfathomable to Jon. He had hoped Aaron would realize the errors of his ways and just go and sift through the laundry room in the co-ed dorm again.
Finally sitting up, Jon reached over the edge of his bed and grabbed the worn pair of jeans he’d been wearing only a few hours ago before swinging his legs out from under his sheets and pulling the denim onto them.
“You really wanna go through with this, buddy?”
Jon heard his friend snort. Snorting meant Aaron was appalled. He sighed.
“Alright, but I’m not actually entering the building, you know that, right?”
Aaron snorted again, this time a little louder. Jon stopped himself from laughing.
“I’ll take that as a yes.”
Baron Academy was a privately owned school with a privately run faculty. It was also one of the most renowned schools in the country. Jon often found himself wondering how he’d managed to get into this place at all. An SAT score of 1550 was impressive, but somehow Jon seemed certain that it was nowhere near high enough to warrant entry into this building; or buildings rather. The school’s campus consisted of nearly 30 buildings, all separated by lush, green gardens and almost forest sized trees that never seemed to need grooming. Every window of every building seemed to reflect moonlight as perfectly as if it were a mirror aimed directly into Jon’s still burning eyes. The two prowlers made their way through some of the less tidy shrubbery on the western edge of the school ground and emerged on the backside of the girls’ dormitory. The three story structure stood silent, not one of its windows lighted, yet all of them seemed to be the eyes of the moon and the moon was calling them perverts. Jon turned back to his partner in crime.
“You’re sure you want to do this?”
“Do bears **** in the woods?”
“You’re such a hoot.”
“Hooting. Owls. Woods. Good one.”
The two friends shared a quiet snicker before closing in on the dorm. Jon really hadn’t expected to make it this far. Apparently Thursday nights weren’t as busy as most of the students had made them out to seem, or at least this one wasn’t. Campus security usually made rounds three to four times an hour, which unfortunately meant parties were broken up before any of the “good” stuff started going down, but tonight Jon welcomed the absence of the painstakingly familiar red white and black sedans that threatened expulsion.
Odd as it was, Baron Academy had three dormitory buildings: one for males, one for females and one co-ed. The co-ed dorm was by far the most popular, and for good reason. It stood almost in the exact center of the campus, and was surrounded by the four most expected buildings imaginable: the gymnasium, the drama building, the campus bookstore, which sold much more than just books, and the sports complex. The boys’ dorm stood in the southeastern corner of the campus, making it the furthest possible building from the girls’ dorm, which sat directly opposite of it in the northwestern corner of campus. Entry into the single sex dorms was strictly monitored, a fact that boggled many students’ minds; a fact that lay foremost in Jon’s mind the moment he heard his friend crack the door into what he had been describing as “panty paradise” for weeks.
“Alright, this is it. I’m going in.”
“Good luck.”
“You remember what to do in case of emergency?”
“Yeah, I got the glove right here.”
“Well wave me in then, oh mighty fire god.”
Jon grabbed the latex glove from his right jean pocket and flapped it in the direction of the door. He caught a glimpse of excitement in Aaron’s eyes before they, and the rest of his friend, disappeared into the girl’s dorm.
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