The Prisoner

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  • mead1
    Cerebellumberjack
    FFR Simfile Author
    • Aug 2003
    • 3960

    #1

    The Prisoner

    Yeah, another Sestina. They are the only poems I write.

    --

    The silent man behind the Walls
    Contemplating his dingy Cage
    Deaf to the jeering Guards
    Pondering the word Crime
    Lost in his own Thoughts
    Unaware of the passing Time

    He recalled the other Cage
    Those were painful Thoughts
    Trapped behind cubicle Walls
    Spending 9-5 wasting Time
    His "coworkers" were his Guards
    But then he had done no Crime

    He recalled with vivid Thoughts
    As he had slain his Guards
    Blood on the prefabricated Cage
    But had it really been a Crime?
    He had only wanted out of those Walls
    Freedom from the arduous Time

    He felt no remorse for the Guards
    They were guilty of a more serious Crime
    They sold their hearts and Thoughts
    They saw not the value of Time
    All he did was escape the Cage
    Tearing down lives like Walls

    The prisoner saw there no Crime
    They too were now free from the Cage
    Where they were now had no Guards
    In the afterlife there are no Walls
    In the eternal dark there are not even Thoughts
    Outside reality one is even free of Time

    He considered this in his Cage
    Where he was alone with his Thoughts
    He found solace in this place of Crime
    Where he awaited the end of Time
    He didn't mind the Guards
    Nor the physical Walls

    So sat the man behind the Walls, Until he was taken from the Cage
    Then killed by the Guards, for his murderous Crime
    "He deserved it" were their thoughts, they saw his type all the time.
    Last edited by mead1; 01-19-2007, 05:16 PM.
  • MetalMethodMan
    FFR Simfile Author
    FFR Simfile Author
    • Dec 2005
    • 54

    #2
    Re: The Prisoner

    First post in literature... cool...

    Anywho.. I liked it. I almost didn't read all of it because I didn't like how it started, but once he killed the guards, I was pretty much set. I really liked the poem as a whole, but the end was dissapointing. He just died. End? Didn't feel like it. Personally, I would have liked to have heard his thoughts as he was being executed. Something to sum up his reasoning for killing them or something to add more "feeling" to the poem. It's a little cold and dark with little emotion. He wanted to be free, but that's a little too normal. Maybe some other emotion, something sadistic or simply evil, anything to make the reader go, "whoah, this guy means business."

    I enjoyed this a lot. I commend you for taking on this type of poem as well. It's too strict and rigid of a style for me, but you pulled it off well.

    Cheers.
    -MMM-

    Comment

    • FoJaR
      The Worst
      • Nov 2005
      • 2816

      #3
      Re: The Prisoner

      you cant spell guards.

      Comment

      • MetalMethodMan
        FFR Simfile Author
        FFR Simfile Author
        • Dec 2005
        • 54

        #4
        Re: The Prisoner

        you cant spell guards.
        My my, that is some helpful advice.

        Comment

        • mead1
          Cerebellumberjack
          FFR Simfile Author
          • Aug 2003
          • 3960

          #5
          Re: The Prisoner

          Originally posted by FoJaR
          you cant spell guards.
          You have a fantastic point.

          I am going to kill myself now.

          Comment

          • ReikonKeiri
            i wanna be ur pop star
            • Jun 2006
            • 2388

            #6
            Re: The Prisoner

            Same 5 words at the end of each sentence in the stanzas. I like it.

            Is that what a sestina is? I don't remember ever hearing that term.


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