An idea for a musical.

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  • MalReynolds
    CHOCK FULL O' NUTRIENTS
    • Sep 2003
    • 6571

    #1

    An idea for a musical.

    This is based off of "A Fever You Can't Sweat Out" by "Panic! At The Disco." The songs all fit, some of them need to be re-worded slightly.


    It starts out with a narrator singing a song about narrating the following story: It opens with a whore-house, where a young girl has gotten in trouble with the law. Her name is Liza. Anyway, she offers herself up to the police officer there, who drops any charges against her. She also pays her lawyer this way and goes home to her boyfriend, Steve.

    They're living together just out of highschool. Liza begins feeling sick and goes to see a doctor, who tells her that she is pregnant. Unwilling to tell Steven the baby isn't his, she forces him to marry her.

    Before the ceremony begins, Steven is pacing nervously when he overhears two members of the wedding discussing what a slut Liza is.

    Steven decides to marry her anyway, when he over hears the police officer singing a sultry song, asking Liza if it was worth it, who gives in.

    Furious, Steven calls off the wedding.

    Liza admits to manipulating him, telling him that he's everything a highschool girl could want, but she's grown up and ready to move on. Steven is pissed.

    He tries to kill himself and wakes up in a hospital. A stripper is standing over him, watching. He asks her what she's doing there, and she responds that she was put in a similar situation a while ago and she can help him get revenge, if he comes down to the club later.

    Steven does, and watches Ariel lead the men around, before asking her what exactly would be the best way to get revenge on a girl who wanted to spread her wings and fly.

    Ariel tells him that he'd probably need to kill her after thoroughly embarassing her. Steven agrees, and begins to study the bible in order to become a priest and a well respected member of the community, under an assumed name. After restoring the clergy to its former glory, he throws a party for the upper class.

    Upon entering, all the upper class is forced to hand over their jewelry and coats, telling them that they can pick them up when the party is over. The party goes in full swing, and in walks Liza. She's grown up considerably, wearing makeup and on the arm of the police officer from earlier. Steven runs around the party, making jokes and forcing Liza to her breaking point, where she tries to regain some composure. She takes a cigarette from the side table and smokes it, but it's laced with poison.

    Meanwhile, Steven is spiking the punch, making everyone who drinks it trip out, and a long lurid dance number ensues.

    After seeing Liza ia dead, Steven picks up a cigarette from the box and heads to the church. He leads the choir in one final song and smokes the cigarette, killing himself.

    The narrator comes out and closes the show with a reprise from earlier.

    Mal

    EDIT: The CD is only 40 minutes long, but that's about how much there is in a typical musical. I really would like to write this and get it produced somewhere with the bands blessing, because that would just be too cool.
    "A new take on the epic fantasy genre... Darkly comic, relatable characters... twisted storyline."

    "Readers who prefer tension and romance, Maledictions: The Offering, delivers... As serious YA fiction, I’ll give it five stars out of five. As a novel? Four and a half." - Liz Ellor


    My new novel:

    Maledictions: The Offering.

    Now in Paperback!
  • Lightknight924
    FFR Player
    • Jul 2005
    • 1164

    #2
    RE: An idea for a musical.

    If he ends up killing himself then he should state a reason why. Just because the stripper said that he was everything that a highschool girl could want and she needed to move on, he has to go and kill himself. It's his fault for wanting to get married right out of highschool. It's his fault for trusting a stripper, and who takes advice from a stripper? Both stripper Ariel and Liza were horrible people who gave horrible advice. I like this, but it's typical. Not enough detail towards the end. Plus, he's not allowed to smoke in church. Blasphomy!

    Maybe you could of said that Ariel's situation was him cheating on her with Liza so her plan was to trick him into killing both himself and Liza so Ariel could have her revenge.

    Comment

    • MalReynolds
      CHOCK FULL O' NUTRIENTS
      • Sep 2003
      • 6571

      #3
      RE: An idea for a musical.

      Liza said that he was a highschool dream and left after the wedding.

      Toss in a degenerative disease that Steven has that's found after the suicide attempt, you have not only a reason for revenge, but a reason for suicide as well. Plus, he might just be crazy. I dunno, I haven't written the script yet.
      "A new take on the epic fantasy genre... Darkly comic, relatable characters... twisted storyline."

      "Readers who prefer tension and romance, Maledictions: The Offering, delivers... As serious YA fiction, I’ll give it five stars out of five. As a novel? Four and a half." - Liz Ellor


      My new novel:

      Maledictions: The Offering.

      Now in Paperback!

      Comment

      • Lightknight924
        FFR Player
        • Jul 2005
        • 1164

        #4
        RE: An idea for a musical.

        Well, I wait for you to write the script before I criticize you.

        Comment

        • MalReynolds
          CHOCK FULL O' NUTRIENTS
          • Sep 2003
          • 6571

          #5
          RE: An idea for a musical.

          Cast:

          Liza - Fresh out of highschool, living with Steven. Runs into trouble with the police before the show begins (peddling drugs) and offers herself up to the cop to clear herself of the charges and her lawyer before the show begins for legal consult.

          Steven - Lives with Liza. Fresh out of highschool, is in love with her. Throughout the story, he changes drastically from a fresh out of highschool green-horn to a charming priest with sinister plans for the upper class community.

          Gault - The police officer who takes up Liza's offer. He gets her pregnant.

          Simon - Her lawyer. The child could be his.

          Teran - Liza's best friend and brides-maid.

          John - Steven's friend, and one of the waiters at the wedding.

          Clancy - A priest who attempted suicide at the same time as Steven. They meet in the hospital, and as part of Steven's plan, Clancy renews his faith and introduces Steven to the clergy.

          Ariel - A stripper who has been broken down and degraded by the upper class. Plans on helping Steven get revenge after hearing what Liza did to him through Liza's father (a regular customer that sips on peach and lime daquiris), and how since the altar, she has become part of the upper class, marrying Gault.

          Liza's Parents/The Upper Class: Background characters and dancers for most of the scenes including the wedding, the clergy, the drug induced dance number at the fashonista party and background singers during Steven's drug induced fantasies.

          The Narrator: A young man that observes the show from a catwalk having introduced the setting.

          SETTINGS:

          Opening: Whorehouse. Opens to create Steven's and Liza's flat.

          Whorehouse has two levels. Cop and lawyer on one, bottom is the exit with doors.

          Liza's and Stevens flat: Furnished. Sofa, chair, bedroom offstage.

          The Church: Where Steven overhears of Liza's infedility and decides to marry her anyway. When he overhears Gault singing to her, he leaves her at the altar, and after being berated by her at the flat, attempts suicide.

          Hospital: Finds Ariel and Clancy. Ariel tells him to come with her, she has a plan.

          Stip Club: Ariel leads around a large number of men (including Liza's father) to show Steven that the upper class is easily manipulated by the things they desire, but strip them down and they're just like you and me. Steven begins to get an idea for revenge.

          Church: Clancy, having his faith renewed, introduces Steven to the clergy. Steven begins faith healing people, and the clergy is impressed. Working under an assumed name, he reforms the church making it better than ever and starting a choir.

          Party House: A house Steven rents for an upper class party. All upper class must shed rings, overcoats, tophats and canes at the door. When Liza shows up on the arm of Gault, Steven berates her. She then takes a poisoned cigarrete (as does Gault) and nervously smokes it. The punch being served has a hallucengin in it, creating mass havoc at the party while Liza and Gault slowly die.

          The show will end back at the whorehouse with the narrator descending the stairs in top-hat, overcoat, and with cane.

          Just a few rough outlines before I start writing.
          "A new take on the epic fantasy genre... Darkly comic, relatable characters... twisted storyline."

          "Readers who prefer tension and romance, Maledictions: The Offering, delivers... As serious YA fiction, I’ll give it five stars out of five. As a novel? Four and a half." - Liz Ellor


          My new novel:

          Maledictions: The Offering.

          Now in Paperback!

          Comment

          • Grandiagod
            FFR Player
            • Jul 2004
            • 6122

            #6
            RE: An idea for a musical.

            Maybe a bit generic. It feels like I have seen this same setup four or five times.
            He who angers you conquers you. ~Elizabeth Kenny

            Comment

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