Hey can I please be banned??

Re: Hey can I please be banned??

From experience I can say that even if you get banned there is still the possibility that you'll make a new account and attempt to contact said person. I'm unaware of your relationship with this person so I could be entirely wrong and you'd have no problem.

The solution I've gone with that has worked for me well is not accessing the sites/platforms that you can contact them on. Use a content blocker and make all the sites impossible to access even if you tried. Delete applications if you can. Try to distract yourself from messaging this person as much as possible. I hope this helps as I cannot ban you myself.

Good luck!

Re: Hey can I please be banned??

thanks for the advice! I wish I wasn't so self destructive when it came to feeling the way I do right now, but I felt much worse a month ago - I feel like being banned has to seal the deal like, I don't deserve to use this site if I'm going to ruin the experience for another user.

Re: Hey can I please be banned??

You're better than this dude! Take some time away from this platform and any others to give your mind some time to re-balance itself. There will come a day when the pain of these memories will be at first bearable and then distant to the point where you can reflect on them constructively for yourself, and maybe even further on you can use those reflections to help others who are in the same predicament!

This thread is evidence that you know what is going on is toxic and your heart is in the right place though. Good on you.

Re: Hey can I please be banned??

I really couldnt be more confused with myself, I made such great progress and its like I'm reliving the same episodes all over again... I hate being in this body that does these blatantly obvious toxic things - come tomorrow I'll prob feel as though nothing happened and then see this thread I made lmao

I just keep trying not to let go of some thing psychologically that's already been lost now for a while but I fall down that emotional ocd hole so easily :v

Edit: I just don't wanna be wrong for trying to keep a dead friendship alive when I'm just making thing's worse x_x it's like a nasty feedback loop between the mind and my emotions...

Re: Hey can I please be banned??

yep

dunno what's going on with you ormix but you don't gotta leave the site for it

Re: Hey can I please be banned??

I'm just being over dramatic tbh, the banning of this account as I say is more a symbolic thing to remind me. I'm well aware I can make another account ect.

it's so stupid that I can't think of anything better to do with my focus or creative capacity than to feel bad about not being this one persons friend... mind you, out of a world of 7 billion people x_x

edit: but really though, thank you guys, for helping me vent and giving me you're support with suggestions - I pm'd this person im talking about just before this thread a rather shitty message which will undoubtedly dig me into a deeper hole for painting them out as a bad guy who tried to help me all along. My messages have no bearings or consistency they are just plain begging this poor person and I really really need to stop...

Re: Hey can I please be banned??

unrequited love or emotional connection is a bitch man. if someone doesn't want to be in your life though then they don't deserve you. it's hard to think that way if you're putting them on a pedestal, but that doesn't make what I'm saying less true

if you want to leave for yourself then so be it, but don't leave for another person. you belong here too. i don't wanna see you sacrifice your place in a community you share history with over heartbreak. your heart will heal. might take some time but it will

Re: Hey can I please be banned??

that'd be the ideal way to do it and in that process prove to that person I've changed but you see - just right there - I typed it out, I only do things to get their attention.. I have no "me" factor while ironically this whole thing is selfish to want them as bad as I do just to even... say hi to me? I mean I feel like its pretty bad when they won't even do that anymore lmao I really thought they appreciated me more than that but again, I'm ranting and it'd all be put into context if every one else was in their shoes -

what I did was wrong and I cant just admit it and move on - its become a wayy bigger problem than it needs to be.

Re: Hey can I please be banned??

yeah i guess context really is key here. i've experienced the feelings you're talking about though, which is why i believe you'll get through this

i hope you heal man and i still wanna see you around

edit: ahh not to say i know what you're going through because i really don't. first of all who even is this person lol. i guess it's more accurate to say your situation reminds me of things i've been through?

Re: Hey can I please be banned??

V-Ormix I went through the same thing recently and it sucks a lot.

I don't plan on leaving the sites permanently but I will not use them so long as I think of this person.

It does get better with time.

Having someone to talk to like a family member can really help.

I feel your pain and I'll help in whatever way I can

Re: Hey can I please be banned??

again, you guys are really awesome, I just cannot put into words how or why I've obsessed over this person so much - like literally its never happened to me before with any other person...

But yeah anytime I just focus on me and what I'm doing from a genuine place of curiosity all the sudden I feel fine and meaningful :S

Just don't worry about me too much guys I really think you're great for lending you're hand but I gotta some how let this all fizzle out its just getting limited in the number of options I can imagine I have.

I'll admit I'm rough in this moodswingy/bipolar state but I'm not trashy enough to disclose exactly who I'm talking about or get into personal details - that's just uncalled for drama. I just bring the outline of my situation to this thread.

Re: Hey can I please be banned??

I had gone through something similar in the past (funnily through FFR as well). I don't think banning yourself is the solution that would be most beneficial for you to resolve this issue. All that will do is serve you a band-aid solution to the bigger problem that needs to be addressed.

Instead, I would advise disconnecting yourself for a little bit to learn and self-reflect more about yourself while you let your emotions recover. It's pretty cliche but you need to give yourself enough time to process through your feelings.

Try not to make any rash decisions right now because emotions often cause us to think irrationally and make decisions we often times regret. Don't contact this person any longer and focus on your well being. Instead, reach out to your friends and vent if you need to, because when we get this anxiety out of our system, we begin making progress towards feeling better and becoming the better version of ourselves.

If you keep this up long enough where you actively focus on yourself, in time, you will view this situation differently. In hindsight, you'd be thankful that no rash decisions were made and you will grow to become a more emotionally resilient person. You are already doing a great job at taking the first steps to vocalize your concerns. Feel free let me know if you ever need a listening ear. I'm happy to help out.

Hope you feel better.

Re: Hey can I please be banned??

I think you'd benefit from some time away from the Internet in general. A lot of times we can develop a dangerous emotional reliance on and get obsessed with some particular digital information stream (Twitter, Youtube) or even online friends. Banning yourself on FFR isn't going to fix that for you.

I think in the short-term you can get certain user privileges locked (e.g. PMs) which protects this other person from you. I'm not an admin but this is my suggestion on their behalf: remove his PM privileges with this other person, or otherwise just entirely.

In the longer term, idk what your real life is like but finding a tangible, physical hobby or friend group can work wonders for your mind. There were times in my life where I had an unhealthy addiction to an MMORPG, and each time I would just... find something else to latch on to in real life, such that the MMORPG became less like an emotional "need" and more like a "hobby", which is how it should be. After a few months (even as long as a full year) I would return to the MMO and would engage with it in a healthy manner. If I got too attached later, rinse and repeat.

Human life requires balance. Take a few weeks away from the depths of the internet to clear your mind and soul, then come back to FFR only when FFR feels completely OPTIONAL to you. If you get banned or delete your account you will regret it later.

EDIT: he's banned. rip. I hope you still read these posts though

Re: Hey can I please be banned??

Whenever I feel heartbroken or am otherwise experiencing "loss", I return to the messages of CLANNAD, like this exchange from the very beginning:

In life you will always have to deal with change and loss. It can be painful and make you want to give up. But in these times you have to remember that there is nothing in this world that you can't live without. Family, friends, possessions--- these are all very important things to us. When they come and go we might be inclined to fall into despair, but these changes are not dead-ends. As Tomoya says, even if we lose those that are closest to us... "you can go out and find something to replace what you've lost."

(This isn't suggesting that you can literally replace friends and family. It simply means that instead of living in the past and lingering on your loss, you can go and find something else fun and happy to fill the holes in your heart.)

Without your FFR friend, without FFR as a whole, you will be alright as long as you can find something else to dedicate yourself to.