I’m 18 biologically, but I feel like I’m about 14 mentally…

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  • QueenAshy
    Banned
    • Sep 2017
    • 606

    #1

    I’m 18 biologically, but I feel like I’m about 14 mentally…

    I had no childhood and never did many rites of passage or anything while growing up. Of course, it isn’t like down’s, I can still work and manage difficult things that take brainpower; but as far as my behavior in general, it is still very much childish. I always tend to be very outwardly emotional, I like doing crazy (sometimes dangerous things), I have a desire to be a princess (in a little girl kind of way), and I sometimes like very flowery dresses and stuff.

    My adult side comes in with my reasoning and sometimes with my perverted/promiscuous side. Like, if I need to analyze something critically, like Fire Emblem or SMT, I can easily strategize and carefully plan out actions.

    This might be in part to Aspergers Syndrome, and also likely due to my abusive and terrible childhood. Either way, it’s probably why I have a general happy and bouncy aura on most days. Other days, it’s more oppressive, but that’s mostly when I’m really sad/angry.

    Does anyone else have a similar thing going on?

    Additional fact: sometimes I’m an even younger girl in my mind, like prepubescent age girl. This is evidenced by my little headspace (not inherently sexual), where I love teddy bears and pillow forts like nothing else.
    Last edited by QueenAshy; 11-30-2018, 12:02 AM.
  • DaBackpack
    ~ お ま ん こ ~
    • Mar 2014
    • 918

    #2
    Re: I’m 18 biologically, but I feel like I’m about 14 mentally…

    I normally don't take on a normative standpoint when it comes to these things, but I think something needs to be said here.

    What you have described is not normal.

    It reads like a lack of emotional maturity. It's really obvious from how you've described your "adult side": reasoning, strategy, and perversion aren't signs of maturity. Most people would say something about stability, interpersonal skills, compassion, and self-awareness when it comes to the notion of maturity. This isn't really your fault, for reasons you've stated, but I think it's still something that you'll need to address in order to integrate into society properly.

    I honestly think that, if you haven't brought this up with a therapist, you should, because emotional maturity is one of the most important skills you can have when it comes to dealing with the real world.

    This is going to come off as an attack on your character, and even if it does, I'm being sincere and I hope that you at least listen to what I and others have to say about the topic.


    Originally posted by Moogy
    no one cares
    Originally posted by TWG Dan Hedgehog
    there are 743 matches for hedgehog suicide on deviantart
    that's kind of a sad statistic

    Comment

    • Gravity Kitten
      FFR Player
      • Jul 2008
      • 644

      #3
      Re: I’m 18 biologically, but I feel like I’m about 14 mentally…

      plz go see a therapist. no troll, posting abt it online clearly isn’t helping you. and it sounds like you could benefit from someone who can

      Comment

      • Elena-
        FFR Player
        • Oct 2018
        • 142

        #4
        I'm 24 biologically but mental age fluctuates between 4 and 40 on a daily basis

        life is great

        If you learn to harness what makes you feel young, you can live forever

        learning it is just as easy as losing it, those who defeat freedom of information are just as likely to forget it
        Last edited by devonin; 11-30-2018, 06:58 AM.
        Don't marry a god. Marry someone who has something interesting to say.

        Comment

        • QueenAshy
          Banned
          • Sep 2017
          • 606

          #5
          Re: I’m 18 biologically, but I feel like I’m about 14 mentally…

          Originally posted by DaBackpack
          I normally don't take on a normative standpoint when it comes to these things, but I think something needs to be said here.

          What you have described is not normal.

          It reads like a lack of emotional maturity. It's really obvious from how you've described your "adult side": reasoning, strategy, and perversion aren't signs of maturity. Most people would say something about stability, interpersonal skills, compassion, and self-awareness when it comes to the notion of maturity. This isn't really your fault, for reasons you've stated, but I think it's still something that you'll need to address in order to integrate into society properly.

          I honestly think that, if you haven't brought this up with a therapist, you should, because emotional maturity is one of the most important skills you can have when it comes to dealing with the real world.

          This is going to come off as an attack on your character, and even if it does, I'm being sincere and I hope that you at least listen to what I and others have to say about the topic.
          I mean, I do have the last 3 traits you describe. I’ve demonstrated self-awareness, especially when it comes to apologizing and admitting my faults, granted, I’m not perfect, but it’s still there.

          Honestly, I don’t want to see a therapist. Because the moment I do, I’ll be a boring person just like everyone else. It’s a part of my personality, and without it, I wouldn’t be the same, nor would I be as entertaining.

          I will; however, see a therapist for anxiety and dysphoria related issues, but not for them to indoctrinate me and destroy my individuality.

          Originally posted by Gravity Kitten
          plz go see a therapist. no troll, posting abt it online clearly isn’t helping you. and it sounds like you could benefit from someone who can
          I understand your concern, but you do realize that therapy could have vast and irreversible consequences to my personality. In other words, the QueenAshy that people love is gone forever, and I’ll just be another random on these forums who will be forgotten in 3 or so years…

          Honestly, it’s not something that prevents me from living day to day life, so, in all honesty, I don’t think it NEEDS to be treated as much as my dysphoria and anxiety NEED to be treated. It’s more just a quirk of my personality if anything…

          Edit; I also should bring up that I went through consistent therapy from 2014-2017, and it didn’t help too much. No joke,I even still know the therapist’s name. So, if that sort of therapy where I spend 2 hours a week talking to someone won’t help, I don’t think much will
          Last edited by QueenAshy; 11-30-2018, 01:09 AM.

          Comment

          • Gradiant
            FFR's Resident Trashpanda
            FFR Simfile Author
            • Sep 2012
            • 1097

            #6
            Re: I’m 18 biologically, but I feel like I’m about 14 mentally…

            To be completely honest, you're getting the wrong idea about why your threads are popular. You shouldn't use that confusion as a reason to not get help.
            Think there's some saying like 'there's no such thing as bad publicity'? And that really isn't the case here.
            Last edited by Gradiant; 11-30-2018, 01:15 AM.

            Comment

            • Hakulyte
              the Haku
              • Jul 2005
              • 4617

              #7
              Re: I’m 18 biologically, but I feel like I’m about 14 mentally…

              Originally posted by QueenAshy
              Honestly, I don’t want to see a therapist. Because the moment I do, I’ll be a boring person just like everyone else. It’s a part of my personality, and without it, I wouldn’t be the same, nor would I be as entertaining.
              Have you tried one before ?

              Comment

              • QueenAshy
                Banned
                • Sep 2017
                • 606

                #8
                Re: I’m 18 biologically, but I feel like I’m about 14 mentally…

                Originally posted by Gradiant
                To be completely honest, you're getting the wrong idea about why your threads are popular. You shouldn't use that confusion as a reason to not get help.
                Think there's some saying like 'there's no such thing as bad publicity'? And that really isn't the case here.
                I mean, at least it’s not the osu! community where people were telling me to die and axing my maps/forum posts because of who I am. Honestly, considering the places I’ve been, this joint isn’t too bad.

                Besides, there are some people here that actually like me, and it isn’t too small a minority either. I mean, if you personally hate me, good for you, not like losing validation from one person is gonna kill me…

                Comment

                • Gradiant
                  FFR's Resident Trashpanda
                  FFR Simfile Author
                  • Sep 2012
                  • 1097

                  #9
                  Re: I’m 18 biologically, but I feel like I’m about 14 mentally…

                  Originally posted by QueenAshy
                  I mean, at least it’s not the osu! community where people were telling me to die and axing my maps/forum posts because of who I am. Honestly, considering the places I’ve been, this joint isn’t too bad.

                  Besides, there are some people here that actually like me, and it isn’t too small a minority either. I mean, if you personally hate me, good for you, not like losing validation from one person is gonna kill me…
                  If all you're taking out of that is that you think i personally hate you, then there's really nothing else I can say.

                  Comment

                  • DaBackpack
                    ~ お ま ん こ ~
                    • Mar 2014
                    • 918

                    #10
                    Re: I’m 18 biologically, but I feel like I’m about 14 mentally…

                    Originally posted by QueenAshy
                    I mean, I do have the last 3 traits you describe. I’ve demonstrated self-awareness, especially when it comes to apologizing and admitting my faults, granted, I’m not perfect, but it’s still there.
                    I'm not here to psychoanalyze you but, I don't think you've demonstrated those traits here. It's been a long trial on FFR. I'll leave it at that for now.

                    Honestly, I don’t want to see a therapist. Because the moment I do, I’ll be a boring person just like everyone else. It’s a part of my personality, and without it, I wouldn’t be the same, nor would I be as entertaining.

                    I will; however, see a therapist for anxiety and dysphoria related issues, but not for them to indoctrinate me and destroy my individuality.

                    I understand your concern, but you do realize that therapy could have vast and irreversible consequences to my personality. In other words, the QueenAshy that people love is gone forever, and I’ll just be another random on these forums who will be forgotten in 3 or so years…

                    Honestly, it’s not something that prevents me from living day to day life, so, in all honesty, I don’t think it NEEDS to be treated as much as my dysphoria and anxiety NEED to be treated. It’s more just a quirk of my personality if anything…
                    I see this argument ALL the time and I say the same thing each time.

                    I see a therapist. I've seen a therapist for over 15 years. For childhood trauma. I felt the same thing you described over the years, but someone close to me said something that made me feel better about it:

                    "Therapy and medicine don't kill your 'self', they make you MORE 'yourself.'"

                    As in, therapy turns you into a better, happier version of yourself.

                    ---------------------------

                    I think you'll have a hard time relating to others if you don't at least open yourself up to other people's advice, suggestions, and feedback. You might hit a wall with social interactions, or find yourself with a lot of relationship issues if you continue with this mindset. This, again, brings me back to my point about self-awareness. I don't think you're quite there yet. (Neither am I, fwiw.)

                    EDIT: I read your amendment. There are ineffectual therapist-client relationships. That doesn't invalidate the method as a whole. I'm here telling you, in good faith, that I still think you would benefit from therapy.

                    Let me add one more thing:

                    Somebody very close to me lived her whole life thinking that the way she was raised was normal and healthy. It wasn't: she was emotionally manipulated and abused by her mother for years, and it wasn't until talking to me, her friends, and her therapist that she realized that there was something better for her out there.

                    You (general you) live in your own mindset, worldview, and with your own unique history. You'll almost never "reach the outside" of your own mind without consulting and actually LISTENING to others... not just deflecting any contrary information. That's a part of growing up.
                    Last edited by DaBackpack; 11-30-2018, 01:45 AM.


                    Originally posted by Moogy
                    no one cares
                    Originally posted by TWG Dan Hedgehog
                    there are 743 matches for hedgehog suicide on deviantart
                    that's kind of a sad statistic

                    Comment

                    • dragonmegaXX
                      ITG playing fur
                      FFR Simfile Author
                      • Jul 2008
                      • 3661

                      #11
                      Re: I’m 18 biologically, but I feel like I’m about 14 mentally…

                      Originally posted by QueenAshy
                      I mean, I do have the last 3 traits you describe. I’ve demonstrated self-awareness, especially when it comes to apologizing and admitting my faults, granted, I’m not perfect, but it’s still there.

                      Honestly, I don’t want to see a therapist. Because the moment I do, I’ll be a boring person just like everyone else. It’s a part of my personality, and without it, I wouldn’t be the same, nor would I be as entertaining.

                      I will; however, see a therapist for anxiety and dysphoria related issues, but not for them to indoctrinate me and destroy my individuality.



                      I understand your concern, but you do realize that therapy could have vast and irreversible consequences to my personality. In other words, the QueenAshy that people love is gone forever, and I’ll just be another random on these forums who will be forgotten in 3 or so years…

                      Honestly, it’s not something that prevents me from living day to day life, so, in all honesty, I don’t think it NEEDS to be treated as much as my dysphoria and anxiety NEED to be treated. It’s more just a quirk of my personality if anything…

                      Edit; I also should bring up that I went through consistent therapy from 2014-2017, and it didn’t help too much. No joke,I even still know the therapist’s name. So, if that sort of therapy where I spend 2 hours a week talking to someone won’t help, I don’t think much will
                      You have all the symptoms of what I would call being an angsty teenager who thinks that they’re so special individually that seeing a professional to try to help with very real mental health issues would “destroy who they are”. You sound like I did when I was 16 and boy are you in for a rough future if you don’t grow up quickly.

                      Comment

                      • QueenAshy
                        Banned
                        • Sep 2017
                        • 606

                        #12
                        Re: I’m 18 biologically, but I feel like I’m about 14 mentally…

                        Originally posted by dragonmegaXX
                        You have all the symptoms of what I would call being an angsty teenager who thinks that they’re so special individually that seeing a professional to try to help with very real mental health issues would “destroy who they are”. You sound like I did when I was 16 and boy are you in for a rough future if you don’t grow up quickly.
                        If it’s really that bad of a mental condition, name the condition itself. I guarantee that what I described with mental age represents no known psychological conditions. At worst, it’s somply immaturity

                        Comment

                        • dragonmegaXX
                          ITG playing fur
                          FFR Simfile Author
                          • Jul 2008
                          • 3661

                          #13
                          Re: I’m 18 biologically, but I feel like I’m about 14 mentally…

                          Originally posted by QueenAshy
                          If it’s really that bad of a mental condition, name the condition itself. I guarantee that what I described with mental age represents no known psychological conditions. At worst, it’s somply immaturity
                          “Mental issues” =\= a psychological disorder. It means mental issues. I’ve dealt with terrible social anxiety and bad alcoholism for a couple years now( and have been seeing a professional to get to the roots of it). I know I have issues and want to help the. Before they snow ball and I end up in a grave with a self inflicted gunshot wound.

                          I’m just getting the vibes from you that you’re admitting to having negative features about yourself but refuse to see someone about them because it would make you not unique anymore.

                          Comment

                          • Funnygurl555
                            T-Force's Rival
                            • Dec 2010
                            • 1865

                            #14
                            Re: I’m 18 biologically, but I feel like I’m about 14 mentally…

                            think you read his post wrong queenashy

                            dbp prolly nailed it

                            edit: dat ninja rip
                            Last edited by Funnygurl555; 11-30-2018, 03:39 AM.
                            Originally posted by MixMasterLar
                            is funny eaman?
                            Can you like not use those stupid names right now? Took me long enough to get these screen names straight in my head
                            Originally posted by the sun fan
                            GET DUNKED FUNNY
                            (eaman is her name irl, friend)

                            Comment

                            • riktoi
                              FFR Player
                              FFR Simfile Author
                              • Oct 2016
                              • 131

                              #15
                              Re: I’m 18 biologically, but I feel like I’m about 14 mentally…

                              being "unique" as an emotional wreck is far from something that anyone in this world wants, and most people realise that before it's too late. like dapackback said, therapists and the such are simply there to specifically help you to figure out yourself, not to _distance_ your being. self-awareness in these sorts of cases would've already given you the red light inside that something is wrong.

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