Need opinions for issue with gf

Re: Need opinions for issue with gf

I'd tell her that she's being ridiculous about it and that you're NOT going to stop calling your best friend by a nickname. If she flips tell her she's a baby and that she's not ready for for a serious relationship.

Re: Need opinions for issue with gf

im pretty sure ur not ready for a serious relationship because u post 30 pictures of urself a month in the pyp thread

Re: Need opinions for issue with gf

My new signature.

Re: Need opinions for issue with gf

Tryhard.

Well havent seen her for a while due to she being in Finland over holidays etc.

I'll update this when i've talked this through with her

Re: Need opinions for issue with gf

LMFAO

Re: Need opinions for issue with gf

!!!INCOMING DUMP!!!



That's called being whipped. If he is going to have to walk on eggshells over that bullshit, she may not be mature enough yet to understand that she should trust him - either that or she didn't have the situation explained well enough to her to understand it's harmless. It is in no way his fault.

This. The whole "give her a nickname" is a nice idea. Girls especially in relationships generally get jealous of their guy's ex(es). That's not always necessarily a trust issue, just a concern.

:>

Sounds like past experiences. This is a possibility. Dude, if this is the first time this girl has flipped out over something, and it's early in the relationship, cbr is probably right in judging this way. If it's been a long relationship with her and she hasn't gotten upset over shit like this, just explain it to her and tell her it isn't a big deal, and that you guys have been buds for a long time.

True dat. Long relationships won't work with bitches who constantly flip out with trust issues and shit, things only get worse, unless you walk a fine line and make sure you devote yourself to her, which isn't worth it married or not. You do have to give a little in a relationship, change a bit, etc, but not over something this small, because a change should only be for the better of yourself and your SO, not just for the sake of your girlfriend's crazy paranoia.

Also, if you put your foot down and she DOESN'T want to break up with you but instead gets bitchier, it's time to abandon ship, my friend. The agony that ensues is not worth it.

sort of tl;dr: Tell her that she doesn't need to get upset over it because you and your friend have known each other and called each other that since before the relationship. Let her know that if she gets upset over it, it gives you reason to wonder why she is paranoid over something so small and harmless, and ask her hypothetically why she doesn't seem to trust you. "It's still your ex" is bs, ban her and is a logical fallacy. Just as you said, if you had a friend named, like, William, and you call him Bill, it doesn't mean you are having gay tendencies towards the dude, that's about as ludicrous as what she is concerned about. The only thing I can say that would make me choose her side is if you called her "princess" or "buttercup" or some shit, which is more of a term of endearment pet name rather than just a buddy-buddy nickname.

Re: Need opinions for issue with gf

No, that's called being understanding. And I didn't say it's all his fault. l2r
He can be all macho tough guy about it if he wants. He can stick it in her butt and pee for all I care.

Or, he can actually strive for a lasting relationship. Which requires compromise. Also, you sound like the kind of person that always feels like your companion is "making it your fault." Have fun with those arguments. They get no where because you whine about it always being your fault, when in reality that's just your way of shifting the blame. Which would, of course, make you an expert on problem solving and maturity.

And your concept of maturity is skewed. Maturity would mean taking her feelings into equal consideration and talking out a solid compromise. Or, abandoning the nickname altogether because if calling your friend a certain nickname is worth more than your relationship, you don't have a worthwhile relationship.

Also, conceding in the nickname department is likely to score him brownie points and/or leverage in the next situation, if another comes up. You say "walking on eggshells" like this is a massive sign of things to come. But that's completely assumed information. There is nothing mentioned to suggest that's a reality. Rather, one thing bothers her and she's made a formal request for that thing to be changed. For her. Do you reeeeeallllyy want to put up with the results of a long-standing, underlying discomfort should she not have said something and just let it itch at her over the long run? No.

And some things I didn't mention before because I was admittedly too brief.

-It's clear from your language that you are feeling defensive, at least when this was written. You should find a calm time when there are no attacks and there is no hostility to lay this all out for her and explain your feelings in a calm manner. If she is still not willing to make any sort of compromise, then she may in fact be immature. But don't assume that right off the beginning just because it makes her uncomfortable.

-Don't take the "bad boyfriend" comment to heart. In fact, if it really does bother you, you should interpret in two ways. First, you should see from her perspective. If the term "bad boyfriend" wasn't intended to deeply hurt you, but it did, it shows the power of name calling. Even if she didn't intend to invoke as intense of feelings in you as the name did, the feelings still existed. Likewise, even if you don't intend to convey feelings for your friend with the nickname, it makes your girlfriend feel a certain way. Second, you should see this as something worth bringing up with her. Tell her that you really do try in your relationship and that being called a "bad boyfriend" makes you feel unappreciated for your efforts. This is assuming that you do in fact feel these things.

-Finally, recognize that sometimes, underground compromise is the best option. Maybe you could just avoid using the nickname much around your girlfriend. Then feel free to use it whenever she isn't around. That's not a lie or an insult. It's just a fair way to consider her feelings without giving up that bond with your friend.

Re: Need opinions for issue with gf

Wait a minute...who's doing the assuming here?
Sorry I made you mad because you put up an argument that makes you bend over backwards for a girl, which isn't compromise mind you, because if she gets mad over such little things (which i have the right to assume she does since it seems like she is reluctant to understand his reasoning) it isn't worth it to keep letting her walk all over you. Of course I am assuming, I was only given enough information to assume. but then again if you read the rest of my fucking post i gave a good deal of alternatives and what ifs to cover a range of possibilities. ***i even stated about commented about "giving a little as in change" ie compromise lol***

Next time don't get mad, you gave your opinion, I gave mine, and then you attacked me because you're upset that your opinion didn't receive praise, lolwut

BTW nice sexism bro, assuming it's the "macho" move to tell her to take a hike if she goes ape shit over tiny problems. If they switched spots and he was the one getting upset, and she was asking for help about calling her friend a pet name, I'd say the same damn thing, girl or guy.

Have a nice life digging up old threads because you got your jimmies rustled only so you could get shit on again.

Re: Need opinions for issue with gf

give her a dirty sanchez and ask her if she can smell what the rock is cookin'

Re: Need opinions for issue with gf

Just keep doing what you have been doing, and like the others said if she wants to end it let her end it. If she just keeps getting worse and worse, end it yourself.

Regardless of what you call your ex, she shouldn't be that upset.

Re: Need opinions for issue with gf

be compassionate but be clear about the situation with her, people are sensitive, just work through it and love her bro

if you don't then i guess you know, do whatever

Re: Need opinions for issue with gf

ps idk wtf yall are talking about

Re: Need opinions for issue with gf

lmao shut the fuck up

Re: Need opinions for issue with gf

What you need to do is pull out, then cum

Re: Need opinions for issue with gf

K


If you honestly think taking her feelings into account to reach an agreement is "bending over backwards," you have no concept of what putting effort into a relationship really means.

She didn't "walk all over him." When you get the emotional influence out of the way, it's just a request to reconsider whether a simple nickname is really worth the negative feelings it invokes in her. Simple as that.


Even your idea of compromise is along the lines of "Alright bro, if you have to budge a little I GUESS THAT'S OK but make sure it's just a little."



That's not sexism. The term "macho" is irrelevant to a certain sex.

It's good to know you consistently lack knowledge about relationships.

Oh burn.