|06-30-2008, 02:37 AM||#1|
....please and thank you.....
alrighty....this is actually..kind of a "script" for my comic. my more interesting than a simple script. therefore, there area few things lacking from a normal story such as in-depth character, setting descriptions since all of that will be illustrated.
this is the first issue or "chapter", please read it, tell me what you think. most places i post this it gets lame comments or just ignored entirely. so yeah feedback is desperately needed.
What is this thing?
This thing that makes us so different...
This thing that has the power to curse you with the burden of unwanted responsibility.
It marks us as different.
As destined to rise and be something more than normal.
Destined to change the world.
To venture into the Unknown.
Volume 1: Origins
I heard the alarm. I wanted to ignore it. But I knew it wouldn't do any good.
I turned it off and woke up.
My name is Lyle Beckett.
I'm late for school and I have a headache. Not the incentive I need to prevent another absence.
I dragged myself out of bed and got ready. It's not like anyone else will do it. My parents don't wake up this early. I won't have to do this for much longer though. My senior year is coming to a close. It's already April. I have no idea what I'm going to do after this. I doubt I'll get into any college with the grades I've gathered for myself.
As I prepared to walk out the door, a strange sensation occured. To elaborate, it felt like someone was digging a shovel into my head and wrenching out my brain. I collapsed against a wall clutching my head, nearly screaming. It was the worst headache i've ever had.Forget school, my brain is about to burst. Pain is pulsing through my head.
Finally it subsides...
I lay on the floor against the wall, breathing hard. It was the most intense pain I had ever felt. I felt something running out of my nose onto my lip.
My nose was bleeding...I wasn't sure what to do. But the bleeding stopped.
This is certainly the best excuse I've had to stay home in my life.
Despite the oppurtunity, I got in my car and drove to school, wondering what had just happened to me, if i should go to a doctor, and how much that would cost.
I live in Queens, New York. It's 2008. The sky is gray and dreary. Sometimes I wonder if it's my feelings that reflect the sky, or if it's the sky that reflects my feelings. I suppose the latter is a bit egotistical.
So I occupy myself with the possibility of sneaking into school to avoid the impending truancy. After toying with the idea, I decided I didn't have enough motivation.
So I took the hit. It wasn't the first. And I doubt it's the last.
And so, the endless cycle began. I parked. Walked in the building. Signed in. There was someone in the attendence office already. His name is Jason. He looks like the typical troubled youth. Long hair, goatee, snake bite. Black clothing. And a motorcycle.
He bumped into me on his way out. It was an accident. I think.
I said "Sorry"
I walked to my locker, then headed to class.
Again. The headache. This time it hit me like a blow to the head. I literally staggered and slammed against a locker. The contents attached to the inside door tumbled down and rattled against it. It was even worse this time. But it was shorter. There was something
else too...like a white noise in my head...This wasn't a good sign. Something could be seriously wrong with me. Like a tumor or anuerysm.
I didn't like the options I laid out.
I sat through the next few periods hoping it wouldn't happen again. I wasn't paying attention to anything my teachers were saying.
Nothing like the status quo.
My name is Jason Tucker.
I had the dream again. I can never remember what happens in the dream. All I know is that it happened. I wake up sweating...breathing hard. Deathly afraid of some unknown threat. The worst part is that I'm afraid that......somehow it's going to come true. That whatever
happens is unavoidable. Inevitable.
And it'll be my fault.
By the time I manage to get myself together, I'm close to being late for school. I should just stay home. I know...it's a bad idea.
I drove my bike. I've had it for about 3 years. And by the way, it's a motorcycle. Not a bicycle for those who are stupid enough to think so. BMW R1200S. Fastest bike you'll ever see. With a few minor adjustments I've made myself of course. That's one of my forte's.
Motorcycles. She's a beauty. I've been working on her for about 2 of the 3 years now, customizing. Brand new paint job too.
Well it turns out I am late. So i sign in my name and walk out. I accidently bump into someone. I think it was Beckett.
I said "Sorry."
He's not the kind of kid I normally hang around with. Though I don't normally hand around with many people. He was the classic nerd I guess. He has brown hair that hangs down in his face. And glasses. I...don't know why I'm focusing on him right now.
I don't even know him.
But I feel like I do...or...I will.
I passed the feeling away with the reminder that I don't like people. One of the only people I can remotely stand is my girlfriend Nikki.
"Gonna be a long day..."
They're getting worse. Closer and closer together. more painful and piercing than the next. I had to excuse myself from every class I've had so far.
It's mid-day. I don't feel like eating. I have a bottle of Advil in my pocket, but how much that's going to do for me I'm really unsure of. I was walking through the hallways to the cafeteria, when not so suddenly, it hit me again. I need to go home. I can't stand this
anymore, I need to leave NOW. I leaned against the wall to try to get my balance.
"what is wrong with him? leaning against the wall like that. Move it dumbass, you're in my way..."
I looked around to see which jerk said that but...It was weird. It didnt seem like it came from...anywhere. Right on cue the pain was replaced by the fuzzy white noise.
Something...is definately wrong with me.
It's after lunch. I'm leaving early. The pain is constant now. It used to be that the pain would come in sequences. But now the pain is always present, and the intense pain comes in sequences. I gave it my best shot, but I can't handle it anymore. I'm going to go home and
I hit the ground before I knew I was falling. I landed on my arm the wrong way. It sprained. I couldn't see anything. I blacked out. My body was seizing up and writhing.
But my mind...I can't begin to explain it. I...it was like it had suddenly been wrenched open and I was aware of everything around me! It was like my mind was enlightened. I could understand anything and everything!
Then...something amazing happened. I heard a voice in my head. It was a teacher...i think. Her voice was in my head. It felt just like when i was going to the cafeteria. She was talking about the effects of a Bimetallic Standard on our economoy. Why? Why am I able to
hear this. Then another voice. This one...is different. It wasn't out loud. And then it hit me. This voice was som--
I'm sitting in History class while the teacher drones on about the "lesson". Nature calls.
I get up and leave the room to go to the lav. The lav's are...well they dont make you feel clean. Sometimes I wonder what the janitors do, cause they obviously aren't cleaning.
So I do my business and head back to class. I round the corner, and there's Beckett writhing on the floor.
"Beckett...? You alright man?" I said.
He wouldn't answer, he just kept seizing up.
"BECKETT!" I ran over and grabbed him by the shoulders. Blood was running down his face and from his nose and ears. His eyes were rolled back into his head.
"Oh my God..." I whispered.
I ran to the nearest classroom. "Somebody help! It's Beckett I think he's having some kind of seizure!!" I ran back to him.
"Lyle! Snap out of it man!"
And then I knew what was happeneing to him. Because all of a sudden he was in my head. He was screaming "What is happening, MAKE IT STOP! IT'S TOO MUCH!" He was screaming it over and over again in his mind, "MAKE IT STOP". And it was in my head. I didn't know what was happening. And then the screaming stopped.
Everything around me was tuned out.
"It will happen. And it will be your fault."
|06-30-2008, 02:48 AM||#2|
Join Date: Mar 2006
I am not the best critic for this stuff, but I thought it was ok. Some lines I would have changed. Like the 'Finally it subsides...' line. You ended it too quick. I am waiting for the next chapter too.
|06-30-2008, 02:53 AM||#3|
yeah, few lines are pretty corny actually in the chapters to come. my main goal is to get the core plot across.
and yep, ended it quickly. i call it a cliffhanger. i like those. i'll post chapter two....hmmm..tomorrow maybe.
|06-30-2008, 02:56 AM||#4|
Join Date: Mar 2006
|06-30-2008, 01:12 PM||#6|
I would find this more interesting as a novel than a comic. There are a lot of spelling and grammatical mistakes, but I forgave them because this is a very rough draft (I hope). I'm not sure how original the story is, but I find it very interesting. I hope to see a revised/longer version soon!
|06-30-2008, 01:34 PM||#7|
Sun and Stars
FFR Music Producer
That was actually pretty cool. I enjoyed reading this.
Check out my band profile and give it a like! :P
|06-30-2008, 01:58 PM||#8|
nah commander you're right. alot of the sentences are broken up and choppy. when writing this i wasnt as concerned about good grammer and sentence sturcture as i should have. i was more concerned with just getting the story typed.
yeah i was thinking of posting some of the art last night, but i was tired and went to bed. i might do that soon. all i have on hand is just pencil sketched concept art for certain panels though.
heres chapter 2.
Volume 1: Origins
Chapter 2: Genetics
The alarm. Every morning. Another scho-.....
That wasn't my alarm. I opened my eyes, painfully, and looked at a monitor.
It had my pulse graphed out on the screen. I wasn't sleeping restlessly in my bed. I was in critical care in a hospital for who knows how long. What happened?
A doctor walked in and looked at my chart for a moment, then looked up.
"Alright Mr. Beckett, your condition has been vastly improving. I believe this is the first time you've been awake and sober." The doctor smiled jokingly.
I didn't catch what the joke was.
"What happened to me?" I asked with a surprisingly weak voice. The doctor paused a moment, then turned around and closed the door. He pulled up a stool and sat down with a very serious expression on his face.
"Well, you had an seizure. A kind of sensory overload. We don't actually know what caused it. You've been in critical care for 2 weeks Lyle. Whatever it was it was serious. We had no idea what happened. You're quite a remarkable case. You had us all baffled for awhile, but we believe your episode started with a sensory overload of sorts. One or more of your senses became strained, and your brain activity started increasing very rapidly."
The doctor's eyes glistened.
"In a typical case, this would have overloaded your thinking abilities and caused a seizure, which you did have, but when we scanned you the activity just seemed to keep going even after the seizure and the blackout. It's...really quite interesting to tell the truth. The reason we didn't understand at first is because we couldn't figure out which of your senses had been strained. Once the overload occurs, it tries to maximize your brain activity, but eventually it gives, and you pass out. But when you were in that coma for the past 2 weeks..."
He paused for a moment.
"...the activity never stopped. A normal brain wouldn't have kept increasing like yours, and none of your 5 senses could have possibly stimulated your brain to work that fast. We have no idea how this could possibly happen. But...you see if this happens again..." He paused again. I could see him trying to choose his words carefully. "...your life could be in danger. I need you to come in here regularly so we can monitor your brain patterns. Is that alright Lyle?"
I had to think. And that was the last thing I wanted to do. My brain was...exhausted. I didn't like the doctor's behavior. It's like instead of viewing me as a patient, he viewed me as...his pathway to success.
I was taking too long. The doctor tried to convince me. "Look, Lyle you survived this experience but we're not sure if you'll survive the next one. The only reason you survived was the quick thinking of one of your classmates."
I couldn't remember who it was. They must have found me unconscious. Right now I was still thinking this through. He's not telling me everything. If none of my 5 senses caused the seizure...then what did?
"Alright." I gave in.
"Ok Lyle, I'm gonna give you a few prescriptions, and you come see me every Tuesday alright? You'll be ready to go home this week, we just want to see how your brain functions consciously now. You'll be home in no time." The doctor gave a hearty laugh.
It annoyed me.
I was released earlier than Beckett. People were asking me what had happened. I had no answer for them. Right before Lyle went limp it was like he was looking right through my eyes and into my brain, a very disturbing feeling. Eventually they stopped asking.
He came back to school today. He looked....fine. Of course people were all over him trying to find out what happened.
"Seriously Jason, what happened that day?" Nikki said at lunch.
"What everyone else is saying. He had some kind of seizure."
You know what I hate about women? They know when you're not telling the truth. Nikki stared at me and said "Jason that's not the only thing that happened. YOU had a seizure too. Why is that?"
Maybe I should just tell her. It's not like it's a big secret.
I decided to let it out. "Right before Beckett went into his coma, he stared at me. And I couldn't move my eyes away. His eyes were cloudy and stared right through me. Nikki, I heard what he was...I don't know. I can't explain it." Actually, I could explain it. It as the most vivid experience of my life. I heard what he was thinking that day.
She accepted my silence and looked into space, expressionless. It was one of the things I liked about her though she's usually energetic. She's also very pretty. Dark black hair tied into a ponytail, and mostly dark clothing. Though she wasn't as depressing as I am. She keeps me balanced I guess.
We sit there until the bell rings.
3 days later.
The first day I got back everything was fine. But after that I heard the voices again. I was afraid I was going to have another seizure like last time but...the voices just came and then went. Accompanied by the white noise. This is probably something I should mention to the doctor...but...I don't trust him.
Today we have a presentation in the auditorium. He was a geneticist. Dr. Gregory Samson. It wasn't half bad actually. He was talking about heredity and the variations between everyone's DNA. Then he started talking about some really interesting things...
"So we know what genes are, what DNA is, what they do and how they work. But what happens when one of those things changes? DNA is a very delicate thing. One simple change...can have adverse affects."
He showed pictures on the drop-screen of mutated animals. A cow with two heads. A pig with three snouts. I've seen these before. So this is where it stopped being interesting.
"These deformed creatures have abnormalities in their genetic material, which occurred some time during Prenatal growth. Mutation may be caused during cell division, and if there's an error in the copying sequence....well you might be able to put it together." as he flipped through more disgusting pictures.
He continued to go on with different kinds of mutations. When he hit beneficial mutations, things got really cool. Like:
"The myostatin pathway. Different alleles could possibly influence a person's strength seeing as the genes control muscle development.
"Now what if....this same thing happened with let's say....brain development. A mutation that could cause brain activity to be stimulated by so large a margin, it could break past our human limits."
I stopped breathing for a moment. Now this was...really interesting...
"We can only use ten percent of our brain. What is held beyond that ten percent? What secrets could be hidden? Perhaps with time, the fence that borders the unknown capacity of our human abilities will be torn down...and then everything will change."
And with that he wrapped it up and left the stage. What he said really struck me. Some weird things have been happening to me. Brainy things.
After everyone was dismissed, I ran out of the auditorium around back. There was the doctor. He was packing his things up in a truck. It was Tuesday. I should be heading to my appointment with the other doctor.
"Can I help you with something?" Dr. Samson said.
He knew a lot. He could help me. Do I want to be eyed over by that overly ambitious doctor...or do I want answers?
"Yes you can Dr. Samson."
Last edited by Terry316; 06-30-2008 at 02:10 PM..
|06-30-2008, 02:36 PM||#9|
Join Date: Mar 2006
I noticed a lot of errors in that one, but like you said, you are just trying to get the story written. I like where this is going though. Keep posting more.
|07-1-2008, 07:37 PM||#10|
Volume 1: Origins
Chapter 3: Mutations
"Well...what you've told me is certainly alot to take in" Dr. Gregory Samson said as I sat
in his office.
I had skipped out on my appointment with the doctor at the hospital to talk to this
geneticist. I told him everything, my headaches my seizure, the white noise, the voices,
everything. Now Samson was leaning back on his chair with his hands folded on his chin.
"My presentation spurred you to interrupt my schedule and tell me this? Why?" He said.
"I dunno, I guess it just seemed that it might be related somehow. Something weird might be
happening with my head." I told him.
Dr. Samson looked at me for a bit, then said "I was talking about mutations Lyle. It
seems to me you're just having medical problems. What you need is medical help, I'm a
geneticist what do you expect me to do?"
"But those voices I keep hearing! I think they're real! Like...they're actually coming from
somewhere..." This made Samson think a little.
He gave me a skeptical look. "What you think you're hearing people's thoughts?"
My eyes widened at this. "You kept saying in your little speech about how we don't know the
capacities of the human mind! How a simple mutation could breach the fence that bars it away and crap! Now you're getting skeptical with me?" I was just a little angry.
Now the doctor had an impatient tone. "Look, the 'possibility' of telepathy is not a serious
factor in what I was saying. I was thinking of a more sophisticated human mind. With the ability to think more clearly, understand challenging concepts, create new amazing things and end the world's problems. But, I mean really, telepathy?? I don't mean to talk down to you Lyle, but respectable men can be labeled fools in a split second if they delve into that
area of specultion. I've seen it happen. The more involved they became, the more their
credibility in the realms of real science decreased."
He got up and looked like he was about to shoo me out. I had one chance.
"What if I proved it to you?" I blurted out.
Samson paused. "And how would you do that?"
This is crazy.
I focused hard, eyes closed. I tried to remember my headaches. The feeling of the moment
between the pain and the white noise. That transition moment.
Right there, that faint buzz. Samson's head turned. I knew without seeing it happen.
"What are you doing?"
I couldn't answer him. Because I didn't know what I was doing. And then I was in his head.
Simple as that. I could search through his mind like a file and read anything out of it.
It was incredible!
"You were born Gregory Robert Samson, in Greensborough, South Carolina on August 13, 1977. The house you grew up in was two stories, 6 windows on the front, 3 in the back, one door on the white porch, a sliding door on the deck around back. It was a quiet country setting. Two dogs and a cat."
His expression remained indifferent. "All of which could have been gathered from the
surrounding photos and certificates in my office." He gestured around the room.
He was right.
"Look, Lyle maybe you should just go home and-"
"Layla Morris." I interrupted.
A very vague snippet of info I picked up from the corners of his mind. Just a name. Then my
connection with his mind was snapped off and a slight sharp pain ran through my head. What was that?
Samson had been stopped dead in his sentence.
I won. I struck some kind of nerve. "Who is she?"
He completely ignored my question.
"Alright Lyle. So maybe there is something going on with you. What do you want from me?"
His tone was very serious and morose. Maybe I had gone too far...who is Layla Morris?
"Just...help me understand what's happening. I mean you're a geneticist! You must be good
for something." I laughed a little to lighten the mood.
"Fine, alright" He too smirked. Good. "Maybe we should start with a few tests and gather yourself a file eh?"
Looks like I might finally get some answers.
I lay in bed staring at the ceiling.
My name is Phillip Summers. And something is wrong with me.
My entire body aches. My stomach feels like it's digesting itself. An intense burning
sensation in my chest. I'm so drugged up on Tylenol I think it might be making things
I've been sick from Thursday to Tuesday. Wednesday morning...4 school days. I can't remember the name of my school. The pain is too distracting.
I think I'm going to die.
My aunt left for work awhile ago.
So now I lay here, alone, in utter agony hoping the pain will subside, whether it be in the
sweet relief of recovery, or in the cold alluring hands of death.
It was Wednesday.
I walked down the hall talking to Dana. I couldn't figure out where Jason was, he wasn't
at his locker this morning and I didn't see him walk out of homeroom, so I'm kinda worried.
My name is Nikki Anderson. And I'm Jason Tucker's girlfriend. Jealous much?
"I still don't know where he is..." I kept complaining. Sometimes I don't know why I talk
"I'm sure he's fine Nikki, maybe he's coming in late." Dana said. You could say she's one
of my best friends. She's tallish, light brown wavy hair. She's the athletic type, but you
couldn't tell by looking at her. She likes track alot. She's one of those level-headed kind
of girls. And I guess she's pretty.
"He just seemed really out of it yesterday. I'm really worried about him." I continued.
The conversation was interrupted for a moment by a short announcement, calling down names to the office.
"He's fine" Dana said for about the fourth time after the announcement.
And sure enough there's Jason walking up the hall.
"Told you." Dana taunted. But her expression changed when she saw how very, very, very pale he was.
"Jason are you alright? You look terrible!" I asked him as he approached.
"Bad dreams" he muttered and walked right past me.
It was the next day. Wednesday. Samson had me take some tests last night before I went home.
My name was called down to the office. What now...?
I was expecting to be pulled into the principal's office, but instead the lady in the
main office told me I had a visitor.
It was Samson. What was he doing here?
"Could we borrow your conference room for a moment?" Samson asked the lady. She agreed. Or maybe she was just nervous to shoot down someone who looked so professional.
We walked in. Neither of us sat down.
Samson was holding a few papers and a coffee mug. His expression was almost....shocked.
Bewildered. Like he was expecting something but got so much more than what he actually
".....Well?" I asked
Samson paused. He likes to do that, I noticed with annoyance. He stared at me in disbelief.
"Lyle you have an IQ of 289. The average human being comes around 100. The smartest man in the world would only have about 200. Lyle, whatever you are, you can't be human."
I stared at him in disbelief.
Last edited by Terry316; 07-2-2008 at 12:41 AM.. Reason: Average IQ = 100
|07-1-2008, 08:50 PM||#12|
I am really enjoying these little bits of story you're giving us. This is exactly the kind of reading I like. I hope to see a full version of something soon.
|07-1-2008, 11:56 PM||#13|
a full version of what? a comic isnt going to happen lol. all i have are pages of concept, landscapes, character sheets, and story boards. this thing isnt going into action til after college. and thats in like 6 years.
i'll post some concept art i think.
though seriously guys, feel free to hack and bash this thing, tell me how it can be better, tell me what you like, what you dont like, what you think of character development, all that good stuff.
i dont get offended. ;D
|07-2-2008, 12:19 AM||#14|
~ added for cuteness
FFR Simfile Author
I'm not usually one to read... at all... in fact I typically find reading kinda boring.
This is interesting .
I would suggest making the foreshadows more subtle.
"I don't even know him.
But I feel like I do...or...I will."
Also... average IQ = 100 doesn't it?
|07-2-2008, 12:35 AM||#15|
Join Date: Mar 2006
Edit: Just looked it up, and it is in fact 100.
|07-2-2008, 12:36 AM||#16|
mentally retarded is 70. i thought average was about 130...
and yeah good eye pointing that line out...i actually cringed as i wrote that particular line...lol.
but dont worry, there are plenty things im hoping will be subtle and unexpected in the upcoming chapters...
*edit*...oh. i have around 130. i assumed that was average. OHHHH WAIT. crap you're right. 130 isnt average its gifted. sorry bout that. i should change it.
Last edited by Terry316; 07-2-2008 at 12:38 AM..
|07-2-2008, 12:46 AM||#17|
FFR Simfile Author
I could see how the dialogue was to be used for a comic book in the first chapter, but it seemed as you went on it got loser and closer to dialogue for a novel, you had more character description and such.
Maybe just turn this into a novel, it sounds extremely good as is, and I would love to read more. I really like how the story is coming. So for a good plot line, you picked a few good cliffhangers and the characters seem interesting.
Though you could add more variety of vocabulary and make it a little more descriptive, I think maybe you have too many cliffhangers, and change from one characters point of view to the next too quickly. Maybe only limit a change in the point of view per chapter.
-4th Official Tournament Expert Divison Champion-
|07-2-2008, 01:34 AM||#18|
lol. its actually a little frustrating. i want it to be a comic. i think of it like a TV show. and i write it like a novel. strange. XD. its kinda hard not to write it like a novel, because if i wrote it like a comic, it would absolutely suck because you need the illustrations. guess i dug myself a nice little ditch.
as far as pov of the characters, i've thought about doing that, and even have a few that are like that. each chapter is a different character. but i found it hard to get through all the character's experiences in time for a major conflict or such. i found a way to fix it sort of, because when i get more characters...well. see in chapter 7 and 8, its only like maybe two or three perspectives. i think thats what i want to limit it to.
btw, is anyone having trouble figuring out who's narrarating when? i used to have headers with their names but i took those out.
anyways, here's chapter 4. its a major turning point. ( you know in all the places i posted this, this is the first place i got some real feedback...^.^)
Volume 1: Origins
Chapter 4: Symptoms
I'm feeling much better now. It's about an hour later. Most of the pain has gone away. I got really depressed back there. Thinking I wanted to die. I guess I was overreacting a little. I guess pain can do that to you.
So I'm going to school. Hope it works out. I'm really not looking forward to all the work I missed. 4 days can rack up a whole pile of make-up work.
I wonder if anyone has wondered what's happened to me. I haven'..uhh...oh no.
All of a sudden I feel really, really sick. Like I want to vomit. I stumble back toward my room and slump over on the bed.
Looks like I'm not going to school after all...
"289??!!!" I yelled at the top of my lungs. "That's impossible!!"
Samson shushed me. I was too loud. "Look I don't understand it either, I'm just telling you the results of the test." Samson just sort of shrugged helplessly.
"289...jeez..." I took a break from standing and sat down."I don't understand, I'm not even all that remarkably intelligent. On a good day I get C's and B's at school!"
"Maybe it's because...you're not applying it. I mean, most of this seems to be subconscious. I don't even think you realize how fast and how accurately your brain works." Samson continued to read over the results of my test, then finished off his coffee. "The doctor you went to see said that your brain continued to work even after you blacked out. It must all be subconscious..."
"But I was able to consciously enter your mind. It can't all be subconcious." I said. "Maybe certain parts of-" then quicker than my brain could register, Samson threw his coffee mug at my face.
I winced, anticipating the pain, eyes squinted shut.
The impact never came.
"Lyle...you might want to open your eyes." Samson half-whispered.
I did. And there was the mug, right in front of my face suspended in the air.
The mug fell to the ground.
"WHAT was that?" I said very loudly.
Samson grinned with a youthful sparkle in his eyes. "I think we just discovered something truly amazing..."
I kept walking.
"Jason. Jason! What's wrong with you?" She kept following.
I wish she could just leave me alone. I don't want to talk.
"Jason what's going on?" She asked one more time.
I turned around sharply and said "I told you. Bad dreams. Every night. The same one."
"Are they really that bad?" she asked quietly.
"Yes. They are. Terrible things happen in my dreams. And I try to stop them from happening and I fail. I'm in a burning building and I hear someone screaming for help. I'm running and running through fire that scorches my skin, trying to find the voice that's screaming. I run into a stairwell and look down. There's a person lying at the bottom, crumpled and broken. Flames just starting to engulf the corpse." I broke off. I didn't want to continue.
"Jason it's just a nightmare, It's not real." She said.
"No, it IS real!" I said in an angry whisper. "I don't just have these dreams I live them. I experience them. This isn't the only one, just the only one I can remember clearly. This is the first one I was ever able to recall when I wake up."
She looked concerned. I couldn't bear to look at her face. "Look there's no reason to be upset, it'll be alright"
"No it won't Nikki. It was you." I whispered.
She looked confused.
"You're the one in the stairwell. I see the corpse burning. And before the flames cover the face....it's you."
Her face was a mix of horror, confusion and skepticism.
"You're going to die Nikki."
I focused on the can of Mountain Dew. One hand outstretched to the right of the can.
It was lunch. Samson had shown me something amazing by chucking a coffee mug at me. It was a bitter sweet feeling. I needed to do it again. I needed to convince myself it actually happened.
The can was quite sutbborn.
Besides, the cafeteria is too crowded. If I did move the can I couldn't let anyone see. I mean...it'd be kinda cool if someone knew I could do that but...people might freak out.
After school I drove to Samson's office. Strange how he was so upset about me interrupting his schedule the first day, but he never seems to be doing anything. Guess he's fooling himself. I laughed to myself.
"How did I do that this morning Samson? The mug just...stopped!" I was astonished at what I had done. And a little excited.
"It's called telekinesis Lyle. I really didn't expect this. Your brain power is so strong that you somehow converted mental energy into kinetic energy. It's really quite remarkable. But it only happened subconsciously, again." Samson said in a slightly excited tone.
"I tried to do it at will today. It didn't work." I said to him.
"What did you try it on?" Samson asked. I raised up the soda I was drinking. He furrowed his brows and said "Set it down on the table."
I did. The can was pretty much empty.
"Now try it again."
I concentrated on the can again. Outstretched arm just like I tried before. I really tried to focus. I formed a mental image of the can in my mind. I tried to will it to move...
"Look it's not-" *rattle* I jerked my eyes toward the can. It moved.
"Focus Lyle" Samson encouraged.
I tried...yes. I could feel the can now. It was there. I wanted it to move into my hand.
It slid smoothly across the table and right into my palm.
"I did it. Oh my God. I can move things with my mind. I'm like a freakin Jedi." I said in hypnotic amazement.
"If you're going to be making Star Wars references, you should probably leave now." Samson said. We both laughed.
Something occured to me. "Wait Samson...I can't be the only one this is happening to. Right? I mean this is some kind of mutation?"
"I'm not sure, I haven't analyzed the DNA yet. It could be." He said.
I continued. "If it is...it can't just be me. What if there are people out there who are going through the same thing? Or at least similar?"
Samson's face got a little more serious again. "Don't get ahead of yourself Lyle, we're still trying to figure out what's going on with you. I don't want to have 15 other kids throwing soda cans around my office." The serious guise had broken by the time he finished the sentence.
So....I'm telepathic and telekinetic. And apparently the smartest man on Earth. For something that started off as a painful migraine, things have gotten really awesome.
The next morning I woke up and school didn't seem like such a horrible idea.
Yesterday Jason had been acting so weird. What he said, he really believed was going to happen. I don't understand.
"What do you think Dana?" I asked Dana.
"He probably just had a very, very terrifying nightmare. Dreams can be very vivid." Dana said with an almost dull expression.
"You know alot of guys have been really sick lately. Phillip Summers has been out of school the past week." I said suspiciously.
"Yes. Maybe there's some nasty bug going around and giving people nightmares. We need to find the cure immediately." She said in a sarcastic tone that I was barely able to tolerate.
"Shut up". I couldn't come up with anything better. What she said wasnt funny anyway.
"Besides I saw Phillip this morning. He didn't look too good but he said he was feeling alot better." Dana informed.
"Since when have you talked to Phillip?" I joked.
But deep down I didn't feel like joking. I was really afraid. Jason must have had good reason to be scared. Maybe I should be scared too. Dana and I went through the stairway door. I stopped in front of the stairs and looked up. Then back at the landing.
"...Nikki. Come on, you're going to be late to homeroom. Nothing's going to happen." Dana tried to reassure me.
I wiped the growing fear from my mind and went upstairs.
I was feeling a lot better today, So good that I went to school today.
I think I just may be able to make it through the day. I sighed deeply and thought about all the work I had to gather from my teachers. I slammed my locker shut and walked into homeroom. The morning announcements were going along on the TV in the upper right corner of the room. Did anyone actually care about what they were saying?
Oh no...not again.
I slumped over on my desk and put my arms over my face. That deep sickening feeling in the pit of my stomach. It was...growing. It was intense. The burning feeling moved from my stomach, and through my chest, right down my arms.
Now my arms hurt? What? It kept moving.
I looked at my hands.
They were glowing bright white, emitting orange light and vibrating violently.
"What the-...?" Somebody sitting next to me said.
And then something even more surprising happened.
My hands exploded.
|07-2-2008, 01:46 AM||#19|
Join Date: Mar 2006
Haha at "My hands exploded." Totally threw me off guard. You kind of sped through the whole, I have a lot of powers, but I really did not mind it. It just seemed kind of overwhelming? You know?
|07-2-2008, 01:53 AM||#20|
thanks, lol. i was kind of worried about what people would think about that last line.
yeah things are really gonna pick up thats how i wanted it, they get these powers and almost immediately their lives become nothing close to normal. not a whole lot of time to think about how overwhelming it really is. when things calm down a little, they get some time to think about whats goin on bu thats when it gets sad and you start feeling for the characters. wont go much into that yet.
the next one is FREAKIN long, takes up two posts. so i'll do that tomorrow. everyone enjoy this one, the next one is our first high point of action, our heroes' Trial By Fire.
|Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)|