Wind In The Water

[Lightknight924]

It's dark, I thought stepping off the rock into the warm crystal water. I need to practice, for the show that is coming too fast, too soon. I'm not nearly ready yet. My guitar isn't nearly tuned to perfection. I need a month, at least. So that I can get it down for the rest of the guys. But something else has been on my mind lately.
For several weeks now I have not been able to swim past this rock. The water becomes too dark and too thick. I'm afraid that if I go out there I'll get lost and won't find my way back. Ever since that moon appeared in the sky strange events have been happening everywhere. When I was in town the other day there was a bunch of comotion about it being the end of the world. I was in the bar getting some milk,I heard the Deku King complaining how his daughter had suddenly dissapeared the day the moon showed up. I don't know. I wish the great turtle would help explain what's happening, but he's dissapeared as well. Either way, the show is tommorow. And I'm not even close to being prepared.

I slid off the ledge of the rock and into the warm water. The moon was getting bigger by the day. It won't be long before everyones fears come true I thought.
I swam back to the domain and on my way to the room I bumped into Raiku, he was complaining about someone trying to break into my room for an autograph or something. I didn't care much though.
I walked through my door and onto my bed. Laying on my back I stared at the ceiling. There were sparkled pictures that reminded me of the firework festival being held in town. I always loved it, even when I was young, the colors always excited me. Now theres never much time anymore for fireworks, or anything. Practicing for the band is my full-time job. The band thinks I'm all tough nd can take it, but they misjudge me. many people do. They're intimated by my species, just like they're are with the rock people in the mountains. I saw on in town they other day sleeping outside of the Inn. I hope that when the show is over tommorow I can run away and explore the land like I had always dreamed. I just don't like music that much. Not enough to live on it anyways. I thought more and more about what I was going to do after the show tommorow and began to slowly drift asleep.

I awoke at a scream. I ran outside the room and saw Ika and Gapa playing in the water which surrounded the stage as a moat. They were on security tonight. Now was my chance to sneak out. Just for a little while I thought while I crept behind a peice of standing, dried coral. I waited for them both to dive underwater before I made a run for it. I jetted up the rocks and into the water swimming faster than I ever had before. I swam out to the rock and onto a small patch of grass that seemed to grow on it. I layed on my back while starring at the stars. I smelled the smooth soothing crispy air of the ocean, for the last time.

When I opened my eyes there were two small trees that grew where the grass was. It was raining. The moon was looking a lot bigger today. I had little time before they sent people out looking for me. I couldn't go East. If I did they'd surely find me. I'd have to go deeper into the ocean. Except I can't swim past this rock because of the water.
I stood up and scratched my chin. Now what? I thought tapping my foot against the rock. Suddenly I felt little vibration under my feet. I looked down at the rock which began to shake unceasingly, throwing me around with it. Then water shot up around the rock and a long neck arose from the waves. I caught my balance as the rock settled. I was sitting on the shell of the great turtle.
The turtle turned it's head to me and winced.

"Mikau, what are you doing all the way out here?"

I didn't answer.

"You have a big show today remember? No time for diddly-dallying."

"I'm not going." I muttered.

"Oh well that's too bad." Said the turtle lowering his head. "Why is that?"

"I'm running away. I can't take this anymore! I want to explore!" I exploded.

The turtle raised it's head to mine and spoke softly in my ear.

"Now now Mikau, it's alright. I will take you where you want to go if you truely want to escape."

I sniffed. "That'd be real great."

"Ofcourse it would. We'd all like to escape our lives every now and then. Though, truely escaping them is impossible. Our lives make who we are. Eh? Mikau the guitarist?"

I nodded.

"Where do you plan to go?"

I looked up at the turtle.

"The waters west of here. I've never been able to swim in them because they're are too dark and too thick."

"I can swim through those don't fear." Said the turtle.

"Alright." I said.

The wind picked up as the turtle began swimming and almost sailing through the water. Waves began a dark green until you couldn't see water below you anymore. You couldn't see what waves or rocks. They blended in.

It was mid day now. The rain poured heavily against the water. The turtle slowed down to a stop. He looked back at me and yelled over the rain.

"Look out there's a huge current ahead in the water!"

I looked ahead and saw a spiraling vortex of water rushing through the waves. My eyes glowed as my jaw dropped.

"We have to be turing back now!" Shouted the turtle.

The moon look mean and punishing by all means. It was even bigger than this morning. It was coming. It was going to crash.

I looked at the turtle and was about to speak when my body froze. In the distance on the horizen a large lump un the water grew.
I pointed behind the turtles head as he turned his head towards the lump.

"Ho!"

It's growing too big too fast! I thought wildly. It's a tital wave!

The turtle swished backwards and began gliding across the water so fast, trying to escape the tital wave which sucked up the massive underwater current with it. The wave caught up to us as we began to rise into it. I wanted my guitar. All I wanted right then and there was my guitar.
The turtle tried to fight the current inside the wave but was sucked under spitting me into the barrel of the wave.
I couldn't see inside the wave. I floated upwards to the top of the wave when it came crashing down before my eyes. The wave was black and dark. The water was cloudy and thick.
I struggled to escape when suddenly I was sucked into the current. Rapidly swirling around and around gasping for air I caught grip onto the turtle's shoulders who had been struggling as well. We flipped through the water and gasped for air. My head began to become foggy and all I wanted to do was play in the show. I wanted to hear Lailas voice and Epwaks drums. I hope they forgive me for missing the show.

I held onto the turtle's shell when a strong force ripped us apart. The turtle spun out of sight.
I swirled around screaming and whailing my arms back and for reaching out for anything. I couldn't see anything and my mind grew darker when everything went black.




I opened my eyes. I was on the beach. I struggled to get up. Then fell back down as a small wave came crashing over my head. I closed my eyes and everything went black.






"Hey!"

"Hey you! Hey you wake up!"

I opened my eyes to see a blurry image of a kid. He looked sort of funny. I opened my mouth, but no words came out. Then I managed to whisper.


"Tell the guys, I'm sorry."

My eyes closed and everything went black.

[Grandiagod]

Very Japanesy. Not really bad though. It could use a little more description. It is somewhat hard to picture what is going on with no adjectives to descibe characters.

[Abhorsen768]

Beautiful! I loved the darkness I was feeling when I read it and I loved how the turtle seemed so wise and comforting! I like the emotions it gives me the most, because it reminds me of my how I feel sometimes.
I do have several questions though.
-Was Mikau a girl? ( Imagined an skinny, curved darkhaired depressed asian girl. lol.)
-Did the turtle die?
-And did Mikau die?

[Lightknight924]

Ok, this story is a fictional story as to what hapened to Mikau the Zora who mysteriously died on the beach when Link awoke him. This is in Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask.

Thank you. Mikau looks like this:



I don't want to spoil the rest. Imagine the rest as you must. Just they aren't people, they're Zelda Characters.

In the game: Yes, Mikau doesn't wake up again after blacking out when meeting Link.
No, The Great Turtle hides as the island again until Link awakens him. The same process happens. Water shoots up and the island turns out to be The Great Turtles shell.
No, Mikau was a male.

[Tps222]

GG copying Fish's idea.

Also. It's. Hard. To. Read. Stories. Like. This.

Less periods.

[Abhorsen768]

OMG!! I.. I... I should have known that one!!! MAN!! I should have know it was a Zora! Oh well. I think I liked it in my imagination better though... I thought of a dark place that was in a bay with a bit of ffvii city-like city. I still kinda like the whole asian girl thing still too.

[Lightknight924]

Originally Posted by Tps222

GG copying Fish's idea.

Also. It's. Hard. To. Read. Stories. Like. This.

Less periods.

I didn't copy it. I just contributed another idea to it.

[Abhorsen768]

You guys should do something with KOTOR. That would be cool...

[Lightknight924]

You try something with KOTO.

[Abhorsen768]

well, I guess I could try. I just don't trust myself to handle something like that. I only do mediocre writing. Although I am a bit proud of my newest post "The Beast". But anyways, I'll try this weekend... I guess I don't have anything better to do.

[Reach]

Learn to expand your sentences please. Also, learn to describe things you are talking about. The writing just isn't good without vivid imagery. I was in no way interested in what I was reading as it was just a bunch of words. You've got to try and create a picture not just in your mind, but in the mind of the reader.

''When I opened my eyes there were two small trees that grew where the grass was. It was raining. The moon was looking a lot bigger today.''

Read that and tell me it isn't choppy as hell and boring.

"As I open my eyes and peer around me, I spot two quaint little palm trees on the patch of land which I had slept. The ground was damp and cold, and as I glance upwards I notice the sky is open gracing the land with its giver of life. But not all was well; the moon was much larger and dangerous looking than the night before."


Not that I'm saying you have to write like that, but does that not sound a bit better? XD If you want to get better at writing, concentrate more on describing what is going on rather than just telling us what is going on.

[Abhorsen768]

You've got a bit of a point. But I wouldn't say it was choppy, I enjoyed it.
BTW your avatar is VERY distracting when I'm reading your post. lol.

[Reach]

It's definitely choppy. Being choppy and you enjoying it are two very very different things XD Read this story outloud and then try and tell me it isn't choppy.

I'm not saying it isn't an enjoyable story. I'm saying, to improve his writing he would and will have to expand his sentences and describe and paint a picture rather than state.

Even at grade 11-12 level, if that was passed in as something for creative writing you're still going to get judged on how well it's written, and would probably get a near 0 on it XD You just don't write like that. Pick up any novel and you'll immediately see what I mean. I have no idea what 'fanfic' rules or whatever are, as you wouldn't need to describe the character, but you still need to describe what's going on and give it some life.

[Abhorsen768]

O... wel.. uhh... Dude!!! That avatar is driving me crazy!!! So many thoughts run through my mind when I see that. (I'm ADD) Like "I wanna try!" or "I wonder if that's painful?" and I keep wondering how she got into that situation.

Ah-hem. Anyways, I guess your right, but I dunno. I don't... Ok, I guess I can't argue. You do have a bit of a point.

[Reach]

You should write a story about my avatar! Lmfao!

I mean, I am right. I think you're either 1. too soft and not overly critical or 2. I'm being over critical. Probably both! XD I admit, I was. But that's the thing, I'm just trying to help. Keep writing and don't get discouraged. It's nice to see people writing. I just like to see people improve too...and I've found, until you realize what you wrote sucks/is subpar, then you never improve because you keep repeating your mistakes. I know I make my share of them. Just keep at it.