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Old 03-15-2017, 08:29 PM   #29
DarkZtar
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Default Re: Rules/Submission Guidelines

Pending fixes update:
Accepted:
Breaka Railway
Spider Dance
welc.moe

Fix --> immediate acceptance:
Tope Doge


Red = my comments/reponses
welc.moe

I tried my best to enhance the file based on the notes from judgement. The bulk of the fixes are found in the first 1/3 of the file in the 32nd patterns. I just found it hard to find more life in the file, given the overall difficulty of the stepfile. (ie. not constant 32nd streams to accentuate every swoop). I hope this is a noticeable improvement however!

Good work on cleaning up the 32nds, some instances of 2 note 32nd grace notes are still kind of suspect (e.g 22.154, but overall not a big deal, file overall has improved a lot.

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Tope Doge

Fixed all judgement notes I agreed with (the first note about a missing 16th note left me scratching my head). I tried my darnest to fix the layering from my original file, Maxo (the artist) just loves to switch between layering schemes every other measure, but I tried to unify the file as best I could.

The layering issues mostly were in issue where you had incomplete/confusing layering transitions. A dynamic layering scheme definitely works, but what you had in the prior version was rather sloppy, this version is much cleaner.
Missing 48th flams at 36.730, 47.104, 78.225, 78.786, 79.347
Ending still needs to be fixed, step the pulsing synth beginning on the 45th at 145.328 and delete the last 4th on 146.449.
Fix those and this is ready, rest of the file looks good.


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Spider Dance

[8*/10] Spider Dance {Toby Fox} (Silvuh)
Had to reprocess the mp3 to get a stable bitrate so my timings might vary slightly from yours
-17.396 16th should be a jump
-21.570 ^same thing (I think this error repeats more times)
-32.546 16ths continue here through 33.198
-33.329 16th jump feels kinda weird since it's only used in this instance at the end of a layering section and the snares aren't layered in the next section either
-33.459 section beginning here the layering gets confusing. With the layering you start out with to the bass synth I'd assume 35.285 would also be a jump, but then there are a lot of other jumps left out, and many jumps such as 37.894 and 38.416 that don't make sense. And then it gets weirder cause you revert back the the prior section layering scheme at 41.025. I抎 recommend just sticking with the prior layering scheme that you had going on since the main synth still has the same prominence in this section, but either way the layering consistency in this section needs to be fixed.
-41.546 previous instance of this was a jumpjack and here it is a single jack, should probably make both the same one way or the other (though I抎 advise a single jack)
-41.807 section here it appears that you revert back to layering the main synth but there a lot of jumps missing such as 42.068, 42.590 etc. This feels very deliberate but I can't help but question why it is done, layering the main synth as you were previously is super clear and easy to understand, and this layering scheme with several sections deliberately left more bare is quite confusing, especially considering that the background is running straight 16ths too so I can't see any justifiable reason for the layering drops.
-50.134 color theory section is pretty cool, I抣l give you that.
Rest of the file looks good, cool callback to the intro layering scheme progression at the end of the file.
-Really urge you to clarify/fix some of the layering choices in the middle sections cause other than that the file's really good.
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17.37s: There's no strong melody note here, so I didn't jump these 16ths
Understandable
32.37-32.89s: I left the 16ths out on purpose so the three jumps would feel more emphasized
33.15s: changed snare jumps to singles
36.28s: Instead of adding jumps, I removed the one bass 8th jump here. I didn't want to jump 36.81, 37.33s to keep 37.59-39.68s distinct, so I decided to just not jump the bass on the 8ths.
Hmm, makes the section feel rather bare compared to what it could be but it works fine.
40.20s: Changed pattern to make this a minijack to the bass
41.76-50.09s: The reason I stepped this section lighter than 16.72-33.41 was because it has the same cleaner main synth sound that's been playing since 33.41s, where the layering decreases, so it feels right to me to keep the layering lower.

Justifications are reasonable, fixes applied cover what was needed, this is good to go.
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Breaka Railway

@20.691: Added 32nds to follow the noise channel.
@23.219-34.759: Layered 16th notes and jacks to follow the background synth.
@36.683: Tweaked this entire section for pitch relevancy and more comfortable trills.
This in particular improved the section a ton, good job.
@47.985: Changed jumps with nasty patterns into a simple roll.
@63.135: Here (and onwards) I converted all jumprolls into more ~expressive~ jumprolls.
~expressive~ +1
@68.787: Fixed the layering scheme here by removing jumps to barely audible 16th notes.
I still feel some of the 32nds go to such quiet noises that you might want to remove them but they aren't going to make me hold the file from acceptance.


I also fixed ALL missing notes and other suggestions outlined in my review. Below are included the judge notes by DakrZtar:

[7/10] Breaka Railway {Tilde} (PrawnSkunk)
-12.755 you had a 16th jack at 10.711 going to the background synth that should be present here as well.
-20.811 seems like a pretty conscious decision to leave out these 16ths but adding them in would make the file more interesting.
-32.234 the focus on this section is entirely melody, but you have sporadic instances of stepping the background synth when the melody isnt present, make it consistent by either dropping the background synth notes completely or filling them in everywhere else and layering the whole section.
-44.378 this jump feels very out of place considering you havent layered any of the 32nd streams when similar sounds are present, suddenly having a jump after the hardest spike of notes feels very jarring.
-49.669 again the jumps feel weird cause you抮e suddenly layering the background synth (on top of being forced to drop several of the jumps in order to leave room for the melody 32nds)
-62.294 these instances should technically be jacks, would make this section more interesting. (consider adding jacks to other instances of the background synth)
-63.376 again where you want to up the layering but im assuming you left out the jump on the 16th to avoid a large difficulty spike. Normally certain generalizations to avoid difficulty spikes is ok, but when you only have 3 jumps you're working with and you get forced into leaving out 1 of them the idea feels very incomplete. Either put the 16th in and force players to deal with the difficulty spike, or go with the generalization that leave out the 32nds in favor of highlighting the increase in layering. Also happens at 64.338, etc.
-67.164 i don't hear this 32nd
-68.787 layering in this whole section is inconsistent. You seem to be accenting a certain sound here, but when it is present at 70.711, 73.115, 73.365, you don't emphasize it.
The layering generalizations/inconsistencies are what hurt this file the most. Otherwise this is a pretty nice broken stream oriented chiptune file.
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Last edited by DarkZtar; 03-15-2017 at 08:29 PM..
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