[DossarLX ODI]

DarkZtar finished the primary judge task for September/October 2015 Set 2. The notes can be seen below; this thread is being moved over to Completed Sets and the results/notes will be updated in the September/October 2015 thread.

[3/10] 9-bit Expedition {Lifeformed} (ShurykaN)
-13.784 put in the jump here, since this is the start of the musical phrase, having the notes start on the 4th after feels odd.
-16.356, 16.784, 17.213 should be jumps (unless im completely misreading your layering scheme, but then why is there a jump at 144.641)
-18.070, 18.713, 19.356 should also be jumps, assuming you’re layering the melody + bass synth, but with so many of these jumps missing, I’m not sure anymore what you’re trying to follow.
-19.784 should also have a jump, but you have no notes here at all
-20.213 but then you have the jumps here that support the layering scheme I was talking about so yeah, all those jumps mentioned are missing.
-22.141 pr nitpick, but it kinda matters since this is an easy file and pr is pretty much your main way of working with patterning, this 8th should be the same column as the 4th at 21.498 since the synth follows a 2 note pattern. Likewise the missing 4th at 22.784 should also go to the same column, etc. This pr stuff is relevant throughout your entire file, so watch for it, it doesn’t just happen here.
-23.213, 23.641 should be jumps (I think you should have an idea by now of the layering scheme and the jumps that need to be filled in)
-27.284 missing 8th
-27.498 don’t really see a reason for this to be a hand
-27.713 this should be a single note, don’t really see why you have 3 jumps in a row, followed by 2 single notes all to the synth which has no additional layering aside from the percussion.
-28.784 missing note OR jump here depending on your layering scheme (i’m honestly not sure right now since the layering is kinda all over the place)
-31.356 you had a jump here the the snap when this musical phrase played the first time, but only a single here.
-general note: at this point I’ll just say you should be layering the snaps as jumps with the main synth when they play together, cause what you have going on right now doesn’t really make sense. There’s missing notes, jumps in random/inconsistent places, and a whole load of missing jumps.
-Also when it comes to the layering schemes, the jumps are so sparse and inconsistent, removing them all and going with completely unlayered 8ths would be the way to go if you wanted to minimize workload, but I doubt that’s what you’re going for in this file.
-34.784 missing jump
-35.213 4th shouldnt be on the same column as the 8th before it, synth is 2 different pitches.
-36.284 missing 8th
-39.284 missing 8th
-40.784 missing 4th
-Gonna stop the review here cause this is pretty much just gonna turn into me constructing the file for you if I were to list all all the missing notes/layering problems. I’ve pointed out the main synth you should be following and the main layering schemes I think you’re aiming for, extrapolate that for the rest of the file.

[3/10] Fifty FPS Forest {Lifeformed} (ShurykaN)
5.822 why are these 8th jacks? I don’t really pr nitpick much but when you have literally nothing else going on you can at least make what you have follow pr.
-7.822 similar nitpick as 5.822 and furthermore, these pitches are lower than the previous ones so they should be on a lower column.
-18.072 missing jump
-26.572 passing over the synth echos up until this point is alright (even if it makes the file feel super empty, thats w/e i guess) but you really should have notes here to denote the pitch change.
-32.072 missing jump
-33.572 missing note the 8th after it should technically be a note too but the synth fades out enough by then that it's acceptable to leave it out.
-34.072 there’s a 2 note synth pattern here that you really need to follow all the way to at least 35.822.
-36.072 missing jump
-38.072 missing jump (or are you just not using jumps for the ambient synth change now?)
-38.322 missing 8th
-38.572 missing 4th
-40.072 missing jump
-42.074 lots of missing notes in this measure
-44.072 missing jump
-45.572 here you randomly acknowledge the plucked strings again, so there’s a lot more missing notes previously that I didn’t note since I had assumed you had intentionally ignored the plucked strings.
-48.072 lot of missing notes in this measure
-50.072 missing jump
-52.822 more missing notes
-59.322 this whole section you’ve chosen to focus solely on the plucked strings which structurally, is probably the only consistent part of the while, unfortunately you have more prominent sounds (piano/percussion) going on that you’d be much better off following. I understand the allure of following one simple rhythmic motif/pattern in the interest of making an easygoing file, but it really doesn’t work here.
Gonna stop the review here, I think by now you should have a good idea of what sounds you should be following, be careful to since there are a lot of synth echos which still need to be acknowledged if you are acknowledging the main synth.

[9/10] Spear of Justice {Toby Fox} (Silvuh)
Had to reprocess the mp3 to get a stable bitrate so my timings might vary slightly from yours
-24.366 missing 16th
-29.841 missing 16th
^both of those repeat
-31.824 interesting change of layering, going from entirely unlayered to really aggressive layering with hands.
Think the couple missing 16ths are all I have to add, rest of the file looks really solid. I like the dramatic changes in layering, they fit the song well.

[8*/10] Spider Dance {Toby Fox} (Silvuh)
Had to reprocess the mp3 to get a stable bitrate so my timings might vary slightly from yours
-17.396 16th should be a jump
-21.570 ^same thing (I think this error repeats more times)
-32.546 16ths continue here through 33.198
-33.329 16th jump feels kinda weird since it’s only used in this instance at the end of a layering section and the snares aren’t layered in the next section either
-33.459 section beginning here the layering gets confusing. With the layering you start out with to the bass synth I’d assume 35.285 would also be a jump, but then there are a lot of other jumps left out, and many jumps such as 37.894 and 38.416 that don’t make sense. And then it gets weirder cause you revert back the the prior section layering scheme at 41.025. I’d recommend just sticking with the prior layering scheme that you had going on since the main synth still has the same prominence in this section, but either way the layering consistency in this section needs to be fixed.
-41.546 previous instance of this was a jumpjack and here it is a single jack, should probably make both the same one way or the other (though I’d advise a single jack)
-41.807 section here it appears that you revert back to layering the main synth but there a lot of jumps missing such as 42.068, 42.590 etc. This feels very deliberate but I can’t help but question why it is done, layering the main synth as you were previously is super clear and easy to understand, and this layering scheme with several sections deliberately left more bare is quite confusing, especially considering that the background is running straight 16ths too so I can’t see any justifiable reason for the layering drops.
-50.134 color theory section is pretty cool, I’ll give you that.
Rest of the file looks good, cool callback to the intro layering scheme progression at the end of the file.
-Really urge you to clarify/fix some of the layering choices in the middle sections cause other than that the file’s really good.