[High School - History] Suggestions on an introduction for a paper

[aTzUeLo1191]

I've been working for some time on a paper on Emperor Hirohito, the Japanese emperor during WWII. Problem is, my teacher has been turning down most of my ideas for an introduction, and she says that if I can't think of one soon, I'll be in some trouble when it is due. Does anyone have any good methods of introducing a paper?

And by the way, my arguement is that Hirohito was a good leader who was forced into following the power-happy/over-imperialistic Genro (Japanese advisors), so if the idea involves framing him for the war crimes during WWII, that won't cut it.

Thanks in advance for any help.

[devonin]

There's a certain manner of writing introductions that I've always been really happy with, and I tend to get some sort of "Great intro!" comment on the majority of my papers.

The basic form goes like this:

Make a general statement about the topic as a whole for your first sentence, something to introduce the subject to the reader. Now you want to make a more specific statement (still neutral) about the particular subject at hand. Now you bring in specifically the subject you plan to discuss. Follow this up with the actual statement of your general thesis. Then explain the number of ways you plan to prove your thesis. Then end the introduction with a rough statement of your intended conclusion.

Think of your intro like a mini-essay on its own, where you're stating an intro/body/conclusion right in it.

In the course of scientific history, many theories, works and ideas have been revolutionary, turning the world in its head and causing people to re-evaluate the very fabric of their beliefs. In few cases can this be seen more so than the publication of Charles Darwin’s work: On the Origin of Species by Means of Natural Selection, or the Preservation of Favoured Races in the Struggle for Life. This work, the result of years of information gathering, compiling and synthesis has had such a large effect on the world that the controversy and repercussions are still felt today. But even though the long-term effects of The Origin still pervade scientific as well as religious discussion, at no time was the reception of this work more dramatic than in 1860s Britain when it was published. This paper shall attempt to describe the reactions of the scientific and religious communities of England at the time of publication, but shall also endeavour to elucidate the reactions of the common population at large as well. Through an analysis of these reactions, one hopes to gain a better understanding of the society and beliefs of the era, and to see why the effects of those reactions still ripple today.

[aTzUeLo1191]

Wow...that is a very good setup, and I think I have my intro down pat now. Thanks a billion =[).

Just a quick question: what was the thesis statement for the Darwin paper - the sentence that begins "This work..." or the one that starts with "But even though..."?

[devonin]

"This paper shall attempt to describe the reactions of the scientific and religious communities of England at the time of publication, but shall also endeavour to elucidate the reactions of the common population at large as well."

[Frozen Beat]

I'd laugh if he got an F.

[aTzUeLo1191]

I wouldn't.

Ok I see your point now...my teacher has a strict no "this paper" policy.

[devonin]

Then your teacher is an idiot. I can't stand teachers who are like "Because we've decided it sounds bad, we're going to forbid you to be as clear and succint as possible"

You know what the best indicator is that you're starting your conclusion? "In conclusion" You know what the best indicator is for what your paper is going to try and argue for? "This paper is going to prove that"

I've used "This paper will" and "It is the intention of this essay to" and so on pretty much every time I've written a university paper, and I've never gotten worse than an 80% and I've often gotten compliments on the quality of my introductions.

[Tex :)]

"First, I would like to say that I think you are all idiots. You all suck. BAD. Also I really don't care about my life that much. On top of that, I have a drinking problem. I spend my days in a trailer somewhere in Texas, drinking beer, and touching my private parts while watching mexican soap operas. Oh, the paper? Yeah, something happened a long time ago, or something like that."
"THE END"

[aTzUeLo1191]

Then your teacher is an idiot.

I've established this long long ago...when a question on my recent test was "English is the official language of the United States: True or False?" in an AP World Civ class, it kind of gives you a hint.

I use "in conclusion" all the time, and last year I used "this paper will prove" quite a bit as well.

And Tex...relevance?

[devonin]

Fun fact: There was a strong move in the early days of the US to make the United States officially bilingual with English and German.

[sumzup]

Most of my English teachers have abhorred constructs like "This paper" and "In conclusion" for some unknown reason, leading to me having to come up with roundabout methods that may or may not be adequate.

In most situations, though, it isn't too hard: "Due to such evidence as foo and bar, it is quite clear that THESIS" or something along those lines. For conclusions, I take a step back and start with a vague statement related to the topic, and end up ruminating on certain points reached through arguments presented in the body, and then end with something philosophical for my last sentence.