Alien Abduction Competition

[jewpinthethird]

Basically we will see who can write the most messed up Alien Abduction story. All those who want to be entered into the competition just post saying so.

Then we will post the stories and everybody can vote for who's is the best.

Dont vote yet either.

[scorpio1690]

I'll be entering of course, with my twisted mind I at least stand a chance, now just give me some time to think of one, it won't take long

One night my friends and I were sleeping out on my trampoline on a mild summer night. One of my friends,Andrew, says,"Hey guys, do you think there's any other life out there?". We all thought about in depth and I finally replied,"You know, with billions of other solar systems there just has to be, we can't be the only planet that supports life." We all had some fun picking on Graeme and playing on the tramp and we eventually fell asleep later that night.

All of a sudden I wake up and all I hear is blood curdling screams as if people were being tortured right beside me, and then I could feel claws, digging into my skin, ripping down my back, I screamed but no sounds came out. I tried to run, but felt trapped and couldn't move as if bined by ropes. I felt like my eyes were burning and that my flesh was being dipped in acid. I tried to open my eyes but whenever I felt air on them it burnt. I could hear the screams of the others, I recognized their yells and pleads for mercy but whatever was doing this wouldn't stop. Then, the screams stopped, everything went white. And then, I could see, I looked around me, it was pitch black, but I could see, my friends were there, they were sweating and panting, staring at me in horror and fear. I looked down at myself, I had been mutated somehow, my skin had gone a colour in which words cannot even describe. I looked behind me, and saw the most hideous thing I had ever seen, eyes, no, it didn't have any, it was.... Almost as if god did not want it to live, it had teeth, horrendous teeth, with drool, drool that smelt of rotting flesh, a round head, almost a perefect sphere, it did have hands, though they only had three fingers, each with claws, claws red with blood and flesh caught beneath them, they had a torso but didn't hae legs, their body was as disgusting as the rest of it, all slimy and when it moved it's muscles twitched.

It came closer to me, I tried to back away but it had control of me somehow. It came up right in front of me, I could smell the disgusting smell of it's breath. It smelt like death..... Then, a beautiful sound came from nowhere, it was like an angel was singing. I understood it. It seemed to say that we were going to die and there was nothing we could do. I tried to ask it what was going on but then, it disappeared. We were back on the trampoline. I was awake, everyone else was asleep. I went back to sleep, it was all a dream I told myself.

Then, the next week, strange sightings started appearing on the news, ships started appearing, unnatural deaths, we were scared. Then, my friend disappeared and we never saw him again. Then, there was a war, of these beings of other planets and us. The planet was gone, we were all dead, and then, I saw the alien again. It came over to me and then, opened it's mouth, I felt as if something were being ripped from my body, as if my goodness was being torn away and I couldn't do anything, then, it screeched a horrible sound. I was confused, then everything went black, all I knew was pain. I didn't see my friends again. I was of a higher state, who needs friends. I had died, and become recycled. I had become one of them. Destroying planets, eating souls, killing all

ps. And I know it isn't that good, I came up with it on the spot

[ROCKETs]

made by ROCKETs at 2:18 am PST Wednesday, July 9th

this is the closest i ever came to an abduction:

it was a dark and stormy night. well...maybe it wasn't that stormy...and it was about 3 pm...but let us pretend it was!

anyways, there i was, sweeping a load burning cow shat (courtesy of senda****.com) under my boss' desk (happy birthday, btw), when all of a sudden, a strange noise entered through my left ear and exited out my right. of course, being a deaf idiot as my parents always say, i completely ignored it.

however, whatever made that really stupid noise wanted me to hear it, so it shoved a funnel into my ear and repeated. "Prepare to be abducted, meddling human!"

But I deliberately heard "Prepare twenty ducks for Mr. George Foreman?", and said so myself.

The alien looked like a cross between the principal in Ferris Bueller's Day Off and Jabba the Pizza Hut. It's pea-sized eyes glittered threateningly in my general direction...almost as if it wanted to give me detention but didn't have the energy to do so. The saliva falling from its mouth dripped to the beat of DUB-I-DUB, and its feet slightly jiggled...like Jello. It had globs of salami and pineapple trickled over its otherwise bald head, and every few seconds, a sound oddly reminiscent of thunder erupted from his rear end.

I was more than slightly repulsed at the sight of the fellow, and was about to admit such, when do my dismay (or not), i fell unconscious.

When i awoke i was strapped to a highly uncomfortable office chair, my face plastered to a few envelops. An alien stood over me , whip in hand. "Aren't you disappointed in yourself? Now you'll have to make up during overtime! Now, FINISH STUFFING THOSE ENVELOPES! they need to be out by tomorrow...blahblablah" At that moment, and that moment only, i realized i wasn't wearing my glasses.

After putting them on the hazy alien came into focus. It was just my manager, the one with the bad dye job (don't we all have one of those).

Until this day, I don't know if I had been abducted, or if it was just a dream induced by envelop stuffing.

[ROCKETs]

yeah, in a vote of alien abductee stories, i'd let ferris buellers day off win

[scorpio1690]

I'd let the whole, death, soul eating, pain beyond all reason fugged up story win lol

[ROCKETs]

yeah, i have to admit that was pretty good...especially the

"Then, a beautiful sound came from nowhere, it was like an angel was singing. I understood it. It seemed to say that we were going to die and there was nothing we could do"

part

[scorpio1690]

....Are you being sarcastic.....?It's kinda hard to tell because of the whole message posting typing thing...

[ROCKETs]

well, i generally am sarcastic...but i thought that angelic voice saying DIE was pretty humorous...

why are you up this late?

[scorpio1690]

It's only 2:40, it's not THAT late, even though everyone on my msn contact list is asleep.....I'm a night owl.....

[ROCKETs]

yeah, really should be "why are you up so early". on average i'm up to 4:30-5 am, then get up at 8 am

most people don't have such a schedule, so that's why i use the term "late"

[scorpio1690]

I usually end up going to bed around 4 or so, I have to go to bed before my dad gets up or else he gets mad, I think we should stop whoring, we'll get in trouble...

[ROCKETs]

yeah, i've never felt more like a whore in my entire life

END

[jewpinthethird]

okay....I'm deleting the Poll UNTIL ALL THE STORIES ARE POST.

I will also go through and delete all the other posts that arent stories.

[scorpio1690]

No, don't delete the poll! I'm winning!!

[freaknacage]

my my aren't we selfish

[scorpio1690]

Hey, I only voted for myself once, jewpin said we were allowed to

[freaknacage]

::shrug:: o well

[freaknacage]

::shrug:: o well

[scorpio1690]

My story kinda freaks me out lol

[jewpinthethird]

Some else voted for me....AND I DONT EVEN HAVE MY STORY POSTED YET.

[scorpio1690]

They're jus doin some major ass kissing. YOU CRUEL FIEND!YOU AND YOUR TAKING AWAY MY VOTES!lol,jk,I don' care

[jewpinthethird]

Oh no, I lost all of my mod powers in this forum! GASP.

[scorpio1690]

:shock: WHYYYYYYYYY?!?!?!

[jewpinthethird]

There arent any moderators for this forum yet. So only Nestle and Synth have the power.

[Yanah_the_Master]

yyyyyyyyaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyy im in im in im in im in im in

Alien says, "I think that's enough excitment for one outcxoottcitiy, time to be shut off."*hits a button*

*Yanah tumbles to the floor*

[insaniburger]

I'm gonna win this so badly!!

Aliens came and had a cup of tea and then went streaking. Booya!! I win :mrgreen:

[jewpinthethird]

This competition sucks, I win.

[Yanah_the_Master]

yes, but did you win the CONTEST?! :shock: :?:

[tnyhwk900]

hmmm... :?

[scorpio1690]

I think I won..... Seeing how I had like, 7 votes for me before the end of the first day I posted it....Someone lock this now lol

[Yanah_the_Master]

hmmm

one night I was watching Coast to Coast with Space Ghose and then that bug dude jumped out of the TV and ate my eyeballs so I couldn't see what they were doing. then I felt a large pointy thing go up my ass and i screamed out "GET THAT ****ING PROBE OUTTA MY ASS" but it was too late and the sharp end cut open my intestines, leaking **** all over my guts. then I felt a sucking feeling on my belly button and the next thing I know I was dead cause my organs were gone... then I woke up and realized it was a dream and that i shouldn't watch that show any more, but then it DID happen and when my guts were removed I was ot dead, but when I moved I exploded. Then I was dead. Then I woke up to and alien standing over me with a blunt probe up my ass and i yelled GET THAT ****ING PROBE OUTTA MY ASS they removed it, gave me thier card and left. I promptly ripped up the card and fell back asleep.

[tnyhwk900]

WOOOOOOOOO!!!!! *tremendous applause*

[scorpio1690]

Notice how hi story revolved around him getting probed in the ass....

[tnyhwk900]

thats why its so good!

[scorpio1690]

Ya, you like anal probes don't you?

[tnyhwk900]

no, im just glad its happening to Yanah.

[tnyhwk900]

Hey scorpio, you like anal probes? Click here. (http://www.funkypages.com/coolsounds5/armagg.php) It is HILARIOUS!!!!

[sk8fan]

it is NOT armegooden...


is it

[scorpio1690]

You see, last time I clicked on a link I was stupid enough to click on Yanah's. I am no longer a link clicking sucker :P lol

[tnyhwk900]

fine... dont. :(

[sk8fan]

hey tny where are all of those ddr videos at???????????????????????????????

[tnyhwk900]

read the pm i just sent you.

[sk8fan]

how do send private messages i forgot

[tnyhwk900]

go to the thing that says you have no new messages, and click new post.

[Quizkid23]

Ok now time for you to all listen to my epic story of aliens and when they abduct people!

One day, an alien ship was floating over my house. But I didn't know it, I was asleep. I woke up to a buzzing noise, and then I looked out my window. I saw the ground getting further and further away. Then, I screamed and woke up my brother. He took the baseball bat we got from cooperstown and broke it over my head. When he saw that I was knocked out cold, he went back to bed.

When I woke up, I had a case of amnesia from the baseball bat. I remembered everything exept what happened about 3 hours ago, which is quite odd for a case of amnesia. Anyway, as I was walking downstairs, I didn't bother to look out the windows, but if I did, I would've seen a metal wall. I went downstairs, played some FFR, and then as I was messing around with the code box, I typed in, "Yanahisgay". Then, an alien disguised as tnyhwk900 walked up and said, "yes he is." Then, he left. As I was wondering how he knew what I typed and where I lived, my brother came downstairs looking particularly angry.

He now had a metal bat behind his back and smacked me with it for no aparent reason. That got rid of my weird case of amnesia. Next thing I knew, I was inside an alien chamber with a bright light that they used as the "sun" for when I was still in my house; a dozen aliens; and costumes of tnyhwk900, my brother, and Bill clinton. Looking at the tnyhwk costume, I realized what had happened before with the code box and Yanah. Then, I looked over at the costume of my brother. That explained the metal bat. (not the wooden one, I knew that one was him.) Finally, I looked at the Bill clinton costume. I asked the aliens, "What does Bill clinton have to do with all this?" Then, the real Bill clinton walked in and said, "I am an idiot, hear me roar!" Then, I was confused out of my mind. And in pain from the baseball bats.

After I came to the conclusion that Bill Clinton was abducted for being so dumb, I agreed to what he said and then realized that I was laying on a bed with metal bands around my arms, legs and neck strapping me down. I tryed to break free, but it was useless. I looked around some more for a couple of minutes, and then noticed an electrical panel that controled the metal bands. I was suddenly glad that I practiced spitting long distances. I spit on the panel, and it was overloaded. The metal bands were then loose, and I broke free.

Then, I realized that I had no chance of beating the aliens. The reason for this: I was outnumbered 1 to 12, and the aliens were a barbaric race. I got really scared, and suddenly my brother appeared out of nowhere with 12 wooden bats. He clocked the aliens once each, breaking the bats every time. The aliens were unconcious, and he thanked him for saving me. He said "No problem, I needed to practice my baseball."

Then, he threw me out a window, and took control of the ship. He released my house which was in a room next to the detention chamber. My house had a humongous parachute, but I didn't have one. I was really scared considering I was falling about 2000 feet through the atmosphere, and then I saw the trampoline from Scorpio's story. I landed on it, and then I bounced back up 750 feet. I was thinking, "Wow, this is what it's like to be superman!"

Then I fell back down to the trampoline and bounced back up 200 feet. Not as fun as before, but still, pretty awesome. Then, I bounced lower and lower until I was low enough to get off. When I did, I realized what a sturdy trampoline it was. I mean, really, It didn't break even though I just fell 2000 feet onto it! Then, I walked home. It took me three months to reach new york from canada, but I made it living off of the bundle of money that mysteriously appeared in my pocket. The moral of this story is: White castle will make you sick 99.9% of the time.

Muahahaha I pwn vote for me! Btw, sorry that its kinda late. Well, very late. Does it still count?

[tnyhwk900]

i knooow where you liiiiive...

[Quizkid23]

Is anyone gonna comment on my story? That took me like 20 minutes!!

[scorpio1690]

And you think mine took any less?! I slaved over this keyboard, when I got cut by that hidden shard of glass did I stop?! NO! I kept on goin, but in the end no one even said I won! *sniff* *sniff* I HATE YOU ALL! *runs out of room* *maniacal laughter*

[tnyhwk900]

We feel for you, Scorpio. We really do.
As for Quizkid:
We feel for you, Quizkid. We really *s******* do.









WHO AM I KIDDING? I WRITE STORY! *bangs head on keyboard*
uyh7tvbgftvrgyhtnbghuynj7uy7hnj8ijkunmyhunj7yghtb6 t56hbygthy76ujujh vbvftbrg vrftvcgfrc54derd4fcrftvg5tgy6y7huj6ujkomiokl,i90ui j8hyu7gtftr5gcfvrdeftyg6y7huuij8iuj7hy8ftrg5v4t6yg 5huj7ijkum8nmijku8.
Yes. I WIN! HAHAHAHA!

[bballplaya]

I'll enter.

One night I lay awake thinking about life beyond Earth. Then a giant Teletubbie-like creature came into my room from the ceiling and started singing the Barney song while it was ripping me to shreds. Then a Barney-like creature starting singing the Teletubbies goodbye song and then killed the Teletubbie and me.
The End

[Quizkid23]

Gay.

[the_unda_doggz]

I was sitting in my cimputer room playing ffr when sc979 started scolding me for bumping... Just then an alien abducted me and made me bump the oldest thread in the ''Games'' thread... *cries!*

[Doug31]

Don't bump old topics!

[the_unda_doggz]

Well, what if the topic was actually a good one?

[Doug31]

It doesn't really matter. Just stop bumping old topics.

[the_unda_doggz]

Why does it matter?

[the_unda_doggz]

Yea, well, whatever... I am going to play some Maple Story...

[BLAZZE-]

Because you touch yourself at night.

[Doug31]

Gahhhh, just read the rules: http://www.flashflashrevolution.com/vbz/announcement.php?f=30&a=1

[owmyheadisonfire]

One evening, I was looking out the window at the sea of gynocologists below me, when I saw something quite amiss.
A dentist.
A dentist! In a sea of gynocologists! What is this world coming to?
Suddenly, the dentist looked up, straight at me!!!

I pulled back, shaken. No one ever looked at me. Not while I was knitting, in any case.
I soon pushed it to the back of my mind. There were more pressing matters at hand.
Like how I was in pursuit of the perfect flambe.

My scarf mumbled uneasily. "This isn't the right time, nor the right place," it intoned.
"Shh! You're wrecking the mood!" I retorted.

Then Zim came and ate me.

~le fin