The blonde joke thread

[Yanah_the_Master]

How do you keep a blonde busy for hours?
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[Freak83]

What do you do if a blonde is holding a pin in his/her hand?




























































Run! There's a grenade in his/her mouth!

[freaknacage]

how can you confuse a blonde?




















give her a bag of m&m's and tell her to put them in alphabetical order

[QreepyBORIS]

How do you kill a blonde?












































Put a scratch 'n sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool.

[freaknacage]

i almost used that one...
what do you call 10 blondes lined up in a row?

















































a wind tunnel

[Yanah_the_Master]

what's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito?






















































when you slap a mosquito, it stops sucking

[QreepyBORIS]

I heard that one.....

[freaknacage]

i almost used that one...
what do you call a blonde with half of a brain?



































































gifted

[SotN]

http://forum.4drulers.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=5186

[QreepyBORIS]

Freak posted that, "prick" (as one of the forum goers put it).

[clairmai]

more of a riddle than a joke...

ok, there's three girls driving in a car: a blonde, a brunnette and a red heard. obviously, the blonde is driving, otherwise, they wouldn't have driven into a lake. anyways, the car sinks down into the water. 5 minutes later, the brunette swims up to the surface. 10 minutes later, the red head swims up to the surface. one hour later, the blonde swims up. the brunette and red head both ask "what the hell took you so long?" the blonde replies "i couldn't get the door open..."

[87x]

hmm... now... correct me if im wrong... but when the brunette got out and the red head got out.. their windows would of been ope.. right... well if the car was sunk... then it would of filled with water... and even if their was air trapped in the curved roof shape of the car.. it wouldnt of supported a single person an entire hour especially if they were breating heavily trying to open a door... sry i had to logical.. i just didnt think that joke was funny...

[Yanah_the_Master]

*punches 87x*

now do ya get it?

[freaknacage]

yall are weird...

[scorpio1690]

Yes, "yall" are weird




Two blondes come out of the mall and see they forgot their keys in the car. All of a sudden it starts raining while they're trying to open the door with a coat hanger. Then one of the blondes says,"Hurry up! It's starting to rain and they top's off!"

[QreepyBORIS]

I have a non-blonde riddle:

What is "sisomso"? (I made this riddle myself :) )

Somebody post an answer if they fugre it out. Its terribly easy, seeing as a 12 year old made it up. No, its not stupid, nor retarded.

[zestyburrito3]

excuse me but wut do u have against blondes? thats really mean tell ur blonde jokes SOMEWHERE ELSE!!! :(

[scorpio1690]

Don't complain, this is the blonde jokes thread dumbass, this is where we're allowed to post these.....

[Yanah_the_Master]

[some of the FREAKING RETARDED CHAT ROOM ABBREAVIATIONS have been changed for my sanity]

excuse me, but what do you have against blondes? thats really mean! tell your blonde jokes SOMEWHERE ELSE!!! :(


dont come here if you dont like blonde joke, if we get someone like you anywhere else, THERE WILL BE NO FUCKING PLACE TO POST THEM GOD DAMMIT

[deepless]

u tell him yanah

[QreepyBORIS]

Hah, nice :) .

[scorpio1690]

Osmosis, duh

[QreepyBORIS]

Thank you. I told you it was easy. :)

[scorpio1690]

It's kind of sad because I was the one who figured it out...

[87x]

its sad because it wasnt funny...

[scorpio1690]

And it's funny because it's true...

[Yanah_the_Master]

yo mama's so fat, she walked into a dry cleaners with a dress and someone came up to her and said, "I'm sorry, we don't do curtains."

[scorpio1690]

Oh ya, wel you're fat

[IAMTHEEVILBEAN]

Yanah ur mommas so fat she stepped on a scale and it said to be continued

[doublep33]

your mommas so old, when she fell in love, she broke it

[doublep33]

I meant fat, well i fucked that one up

[scorpio1690]

Your momma's so fat when she jumped up she got stuck in the air

[doublep33]

your mommas so old even her wig is turning grey

[scorpio1690]

Well at least I can get it up :D

[IAMTHEEVILBEAN]

doublet your mommas so big she called Sherman Williams to paint her toenails

[doublep33]

your mommas skin sags soo much, she plays hacky sack with her boobs

[IAMTHEEVILBEAN]

ur mommas so dirty she has to sneak up on the bath water to get in

[clairmai]

wow u guys sure have alot against yanah..

[IAMTHEEVILBEAN]

we're juust jokin around clair i dont even know yanah that well just having a little fun

[clairmai]

well i do. that post whore...

[scorpio1690]

I think you might of had a bit to much sugar on your shreddies

[clairmai]

shreddies are gross

[scorpio1690]

How are shreddies gross?

[clairmai]

i dunno, they're just gross. i don' teven like cereal *people gasping in the background* yes i know i know. i'm ashamed.

[scorpio1690]

*gasp*!

[QreepyBORIS]

Your momma's like a brick: She's heavy, red, flat on both sides, and get laid by mexicans. PWND!!!!!!

[jewpinthethird]

That's racist.

[QreepyBORIS]

Tru, but its a good your momma joke.

Your momma's so fat, even MOSES couldn't split her buttcheeks.

[scorpio1690]

Wasn't he a slave?

[QreepyBORIS]

No, he was thought to be the child of the (can spell it) Phaero. Actually, he was floated down the nile andpicked up by the daughter of the pharowsfo, and treated like a son, but whatever. :razz:

[scorpio1690]

W/e, my religous expertise doesn't surpass the simpsons, for all I know buddhism is a dog

[QreepyBORIS]

Wait..it ISNT?>???

SHIT!!! I think I really fucked up my deal in India last year......

[scorpio1690]

I thought the dog was in like Tibet and China and whatnot...

[zestyburrito3]

ok well i am not a guy for one and another thing i come in here to piss ppl off bc its fun! and dont tell me wut to do bc i am not gonna listen to someone i dont even know..

[Yanah_the_Master]

Yanah ur mommas so fat she stepped on a scale and it said to be continued

yo mama's so old jurassic park brought back memories

[87x]

your momas so old she had jesus in her year book......

your moms so old she got memories of the sehara(sp?) forest.....

[fartduelistbaby]

How do you confuse a blonde?Put her in a round room and tell her to find a corner. How does the blonde confuse you? She finds the corner.

[fartduelistbaby]

:? then what do you like :mrgreen:

[zestyburrito3]

this is gay..

[QreepyBORIS]

You are gay.

[Yanah_the_Master]

he is gay

[QreepyBORIS]

Getting a little insecure are you, Yanah?

[FFRdaveg]

I'm confused i must be in a circular room

[earth_lord]

How do you know a blond is having a bad day?
A. She has a tampon behind her ear and she cant find her pencil

How do you give a blond a never ending activity?
A. give her a bowl of frosted flakes and tell her its a jigsaw puzzle

How does a blond turn on the light after sex?
A. she kicks the door open

How can you make a blond run?
A. tie a mirror to the back of your truck

How does a blond kill herself?
A. shoots a mirror

[angelbaby_253]

you guys are funny

[earth_lord]

or r we............ :shock:

[sithmercenaryboss]

Yo mommas so fat she got on the scale and it said "one at a time, please!"

[Alcbaar]

your mooma like a vacum cleaner sucks and get laid in the closet

[ubermonkey101]

Why did God create blondes?
Beacause sheep couldnt bring beer from the fridge.
Why did God create brunnettes?
Neither could the blondes.

[Lovotho]

hmmm,, i dont know if someone posted this one already. its the only one i really know.

One day a blonde and her boyfriend were walking along the beach. The boyfreind spotted a dead seagul on the shore and said "Awww, honey look at the dead birdy." The blonde looked up to the sky and said, "Where??" hehehe, get it?!

[earth_lord]

Your mama is so fat she stood on a scale and it read... FAT WARS EPISODE 1 THE OBESE MENACE

[sk8fan]

and that we are proud of

[MUTiger88]

Yo mama's so stupid, she sold the car for gas money

[Quizkid23]

How do you keep a retard occupied for hours?
(answer on back)
----------------------------------(other side)---------------------------------
How do you keep a retard occupied for hours?
(answer on back)

put that on an index card and give it someone retarded. See how long they flip it back and forth!! heheheh

[IAMTHEEVILBEAN]

.............BLONDE JOKE THREAD not FRIKING RETARTED THINGS TO TRY THREAD.....pfft damn n00bs\

no hard feelings though

[LateralusAngel]

Alrighty then...there was a guy who one day wanted a soda so he came up to a soda machine. A blonde got there before him though and put her money in and got a soda. She kept doing this about six times when the guy finally tapped on her shoulder and asked if he could please get a soda. The blonde replied "But I'm on a winning streak!!!"





And as far as yo momma jokes...
1. Yo momma's so poor that I came over to your house and blew out a candle and she said "NO! That was our heating!" and then I sat on an icecube in a chair on accident and she said "NO! That's our air-conditioning!" Then one day I saw her kicking a can down the street and I asked her what she was doing and she said "Moving."
2. Yo momma's so fat the Olympics now use her to run marathons around.

[xChAoTiCxBuNnYx]

Kay,This May be The DUmbest Joke You Ever Heard...But...FUCK YOU!

A Brunette was walking down the street saying "65,65,65,65.''She stopped infront of a blonde who asked"What are you doing?".She Replied"chanting as I walk,it's really fun". SO the blonde asked "Can I join?" So the brunette Said "Sure,but you have to walk in the middle of the street"
And The Blonde Said"Okay"..
So They Were walking chanting 65 over and over then from behind the Blonde came a diesel truck,which killed her and BLAAAHH!!!...
The Brunette Now:"66,66,66,66"ANd she chanted her way to another blonde. TUH DUH! _,,|,,

[Quizkid23]

HAAHAHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA THATS GREAT!

[RMMD]

a blonde walks into mcdonalds wearing a headset wtih a walkman on her waist. she walks up to the counter and the register dude asks her "could you please take your headset off miss?" she answers no. he asks again and her answer is no. well, by now hes agitated so he rips them off her head. she falls dead to the floor. he puts them on and hears a calming voice saying "breath in... breath out... breath in... breath out."

[Doctor]

That 65 joke was lame no offence

[goodkid]

Your moms like a screen door, I wanna have sex with her. Is your refridgerator running. Yes. Well it probably runs just like you, a homesexual.

[angelbaby_253]

you guys are nasty

[angelbaby_253]

you guys are nasty

[lancer77]

I once knew a blonde who was so dumb, she spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice carton, because it said, "concentrate."

[Dark_Lotus]

There Was The Blonde That Said FUCK YOU!

[sk8fan]

EDIT:wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee:O

[sk8fan]

EDIT:wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee:O