View Full Version : I really need some help/support

12-19-2008, 02:06 AM
Well, my grandpa died a few months back, about two weeks before i graduated. I did pretty well keeping myself together, until after they lowered him into the grave, I had to give the cross in his casket to my grandma. That was the part where I finally couldnt hold it in any longer and I broke down. She told me he would want me to keep it and now I have it somewhere and I have yet to hang it up. I cried myself to sleep for a few days, and was saddened again when graduation rolled around and There my grandma was and he wasnt. Now just tonight I had a talk with my mom about school and stuff and I got really defensive. Then she gives me some **** about not caring about anyone and that I dont see how hard it is for her with grandpa being gone. And the fact that I dont care to talk to her about anything, and drops it on me that my grandpas sister (my moms aunt) has the same cancer that killed him. I made it about two minutes after that before I broke down crying thinking about my grandpa. I really didnt know him all that well, but it really hurts me to have her say that to me. What do you think I should do? Its a touchy subject for my mom, being it about her dad, but I have a final tomorrow, and I know for a fact this is going to mess it up. I have been crying the last three hours and will probably cry myself to sleep again for awhile.

I think what hurt me the most is the fact she says I dont care about anyone but myself. I have a gf who I love very much and would really like to marry. I also care about my friends and family as well, even though sometimes it doesnt seem like it. Do you think I should go see a grief counselor or something?

Sorry about any spelling/grammar errors. Its kinda hard to see my screen.

12-19-2008, 02:11 AM
Sorry to hear about your grandpa. :( Mine passed this last march.
It really sucks, and it works well just to imagine that he never existed. Really hard for a while, but it gets easier. Then you can remember gradually.

Sorry to say this, but this is probably the worst place you could possibly post this. I just pray you don't get emotionally scared by any assholes that wander by.
You have my condolences.

Also, wear it. (Unless it's huge, then put it up somewhere were everyone can see it all the time.)

12-19-2008, 02:17 AM
Its kinda big. I think I will hang it above my computer. Now how to ask my mom where it is without setting her off?

12-19-2008, 02:31 AM
Its kinda big. I think I will hang it above my computer. Now how to ask my mom where it is without setting her off?

Just go to her and say:

Look, I have a serious question. Where did you place it?

12-19-2008, 08:23 AM
funmonkey, you're an idiot. Don't follow his advice.

What you should do is go to your mom, hug her and talk to her in a soothing manner. Just be there for her. It's great and all that you care about your girlfriend and your friends but what about your own mother? She needs you right now more than anyone else. Being affectionate and strong is probably the best thing you could do right now for her to help her through the grief even though you're feeling the same way, but you have to be the stronger one. It was her dad, and she knew him better than you did. Just try imagining what it would be like for you if one of your parents had passed away. Hopefully after you've talked things over with her and the tension has settled between both of you, you should definitely seek a grief counselor and also ask her something along the lines of "Mom, I forgot where I left grandpa's cross - I didn't lose it - but do you happen to know where it is?"

12-19-2008, 10:07 AM
I understand how stressed she is but she doesnt have to take it out on me like that.

12-19-2008, 10:24 AM
my grandma died when i was in fourth grade, i was extremely close to her. Closer then most people are with their parents. I was in school the next day after finding out, I broke out in tears i had to go the guidance counselor i was there until school ended, about 4 hours. I cried the whole time. I never really got over it. I still think about what it would be like to still be able to see her. Its been so long I forgot what her voice sounds like, and that is really depressing. Their really is no way to get over it. When i was at my grandma's funeral i tried really hard not to cry, along with everyone else, but as soon as they starting lowering her into the ground i started weeping. I miss her so much. She died from a brain tumor. They took it out, but it grew back so fast that it killed her in the hospital. She couldn't even remember my name. I don't know exactly what is going through her mind being that it was her dad, but i can assume that it is what was going through my head, why did she have to die now, why couldn't i have died. There is no way to talk to someone in so much pain. you can talk, but they won't take anything in, if they hear what you are saying the will start crying. You need to give them time. thats all there is, im sorry for your lose i really am, but its really hard when you were close to that person.