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Old 03-21-2004, 01:40 PM   #1
Specforces
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Default Funny exam assessment, answer all questions.

This is pretty humorous, read this and try to answer it....

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Read each question thoroughly. Answer all questions. Time limit: four hours. Begin immediately.

HISTORY: Describe the history of religion from its origins to the present day, concentrate specifically but not exclusively, on its social, political, economic, religious, and philosophical impact on Europe, Asia, America and Africa. Demonstrate your understanding by creating your own religion and describing its likely impact on world affairs. Be brief, concise and specific.

LITERATURE: Compose an epic poem based on the events of your own life in which you see and footnote allusions from T.S. Eliot, Keats, Chaucer, Dante, Norse mythology and the Marx brothers. Critique your poem with a full discussion of its metrics.

MUSIC: Write a piano concerto. Orchestrate it and perform it with flute and drum. You will find a piano under your seat.

MEDICINE: You have been provided with a razor blade, a piece of gauze, and a bottle of Scotch. Remove your own appendix. Do not suture until your work has been inspected. You have fifteen minutes.

BIOLOGY: Create life. Estimate the differences in subsequent human culture if this form of life had developed five hundred years earlier, with special attention to the probable effects on the English Parliamentary system. Prove your thesis.

PSYCHOLOGY: Employing principles from the major schools of psychoanalytic thought, successfully subject yourself to analysis. Make appropriate personality changes, bill yourself and fill out all medical insurance forms. Now do the same to the person seated to your immediate left.

ECONOMICS: Develop a realistic plan for refinancing the national debt. Run for Congress. Build a political power base. Successfully pass your plan and implement it.

PUBLIC SPEAKING: 2,500 riot-crazed students are storming the classroom. Calm them. You may use any ancient language except Latin or Greek.

PHYSICS: Explain the general theory of relativity. Keep it simple. Now demonstrate the limits of faster-than-light travel through an experiment of your own design.

AGRICULTURAL SCIENCE: Outline the steps involved in breeding your own super high yield, all weather hybrid strain of wheat. Describe its chemical and physical properties and estimate its impact on world food supplies. Construct a model for dealing with world-wide surpluses. Write your Nobel Prize acceptance speech.

MATHEMATICS: Give today's date, in metric.

CHEMISTRY. Transform lead into gold. You will find a beaker and three lead sinkers
under your seat. Show all work including Feynman diagrams and quantum functions for all steps. You have fifteen minutes.

POLITICAL SCIENCE: There is a red telephone on the desk behind you. Start World War III. Report at length on its socio-political effects, if any.

PHILOSOPHY: Why? Prove your answers with specific examples. You have five minutes for this activity.

** EXTRA CREDIT **

Define the Universe. Give two examples.
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Answer at least one.

Enjoy,

Specforces
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Old 03-21-2004, 01:45 PM   #2
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did you come up with this
or find it somewhere
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Old 03-21-2004, 02:01 PM   #3
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3oz. 21m 2004 kilograms, and oh yes, I have successfully created life capable of faster-than-light travel using a slingshot apparatus. World War III is still in the works.
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Old 03-21-2004, 05:46 PM   #4
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Wow...I need to meet the people who made this and congratulate them for totally ruining soemone's life!
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Old 03-21-2004, 06:04 PM   #5
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Biology: I have successfully created life on a molecular scale as of now, but within 9 months it will become a functioning bio-species capable of human thought and emotion in a primitive form. However, given the alotted time of 4 hours, the experimentation is impossible for all to answer, therefore I deem the question and the exam itself insufficeint and structurally flawed. Due to this fact, any form of grading cannot be given for the time span in which is being asked is a structural impossibility without advanced technology. Therefore I refuse to further comment.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have 2,500 rioting students to shoot.

Cheerio.
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Old 03-21-2004, 06:14 PM   #6
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4:01:54 damn.
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Old 03-21-2004, 06:32 PM   #7
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damn. i only understand like 7 of them. the music one is piss easy i can do that no problem. thats fun for me actually. in fact i think ill make one.
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Old 03-21-2004, 06:45 PM   #8
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This is retarded. Don't post crap like this.
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Old 03-22-2004, 06:09 AM   #9
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Maniac...I think the idea is that they don't give you a flute and a drum...just a piano
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Old 03-22-2004, 07:04 AM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Moogy
This is retarded. Don't post crap like this.
Well now, dear Moogy, when you can post something that is semi-intelligent, come back and then bitch. Until then, shut up and post something constructive.

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Old 03-22-2004, 07:07 AM   #11
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moogy doesn't belong in the critical thinking forums
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Old 03-22-2004, 07:07 AM   #12
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I agree.
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Old 03-22-2004, 10:30 PM   #13
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Moogy...if you hate this, then why even bother posting here?
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Old 03-22-2004, 10:41 PM   #14
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Because it's fun to irritate people.
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Old 03-23-2004, 12:00 AM   #15
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seph i understand that. i can play the flute and drums. i can play almost any instrument. name it and i can play it. unless its like some instrument no one has heard of except places like africa or something.
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Old 03-23-2004, 04:29 AM   #16
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Default Re: Funny exam assessment, answer all questions.

You forgot one.

Philosophy: "Why?" Prove your thesis.

p.s. "Why not?"
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Old 03-24-2004, 12:01 PM   #17
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I should add that one in, I think I will.
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Old 03-24-2004, 12:40 PM   #18
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ive already written a piano concerto, (its sorta small tho) so i win!
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Old 03-24-2004, 06:18 PM   #19
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Why? : for without why there is no humanity, sociaty wouldn't be given the chance to crumble, english muffines would no longer exist, we as a people would still be having sex like animals. i wouldnt get to wear kilt on thursdays, we couldnt complain about politics. arnold swartsenegger wouldnt have been funny. the only way you would be seeing this is if i had written it on the back of a less intelegent creature. the english language would be short a few thousand words. no one would wonder why slime mold enjoys to confuze botanists. no one would laugh at the idiots on tv talking about how they made a quantam leap in teh fight against terrorisim, (quantum phisics is the study of phisics in things smaller then atoms) also we as a people would probly still have exsessive amounts of hair. and if you have every seen a middle aged german man without his shirt on you can attest to the discomfort i am talking about.

thus

Q:Why?

A:Because!
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Old 04-18-2004, 02:15 PM   #20
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pwned

well done
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