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#1 |
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FFR Player
Join Date: Jan 2005
Age: 32
Posts: 17
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Part 1
What I want, the willpower to get up in the morning and do anything, and feel good about it. Religion made me worn out, school made me want to never wake up. Everytime I think of something I want, or want someone else to do, I interupt myself with, "Well, It doesn't matter because I'll live either way." I think anything humans think are to be thrown out, because humans don't know any better...But I am a human, so how can that thought exist? Let's examine my goals: Job, Relationship, Home. If I DON'T get up in the morning and do anything, all 3 of these could die. Why live so much, for something that could die instantly? I live with the fact that life sucks, "Why live knowing you're going to die?" Could the same not be said with, "Why die when you know you are going to live?" My bad moments weight evenly with my good moments. Maybe that's it, I'm not bad or good, am I waiting for something good or bad, to know the path I should go? Well, it doesn't matter, because I'll live either way, right? Or is it I'm afraid to know the truth? How am I to be afraid, if noone knows it? Even if it was clearly written in 1 sentece, what life is, how would we be able to understand it? We can't, we're humans, we act on instinct. If god gave the biblical figures the will to write what he wanted, how can we understand it? How is it possible for the almighty to bend to our puny level and tell us what life is? I don't feel it's possible for god to go that low. Is there a god? I've seen just as much evidence for creation, as I have evolution. God, Devil. Good, Bad. Creation, Evolution. Life, death. Why do we have to choose? Can we not just live life? ...We do. Look at the % of people who don't care. Life makes us get involved to it so much, we lose sight on what we ever wanted. Maybe that's why I don't get up in the morning, because life will make me a robot. EVERYTHING I just said all came from me, a human. If I believe humans cannot be trusted, how can I even have these thoughts? Marijuana, that's how. Maybe Marijuana is the meaning of life. Toke and choke and kill mailboxes. ****, that was another thought. God dammit. I've noticed I have an urge to help people solve problems, yet I cannot solve my own. I can supposevly read people, but cannot read myself. Let's try to read me. I like, internet, online games, the ability to socialise between anyone, and the ability to ignore anyone you don't like. We're not even going into the woman discussion. My goal is to understand everything, by the time I'm done with this, which won't happen because I'm lazy. One thing is for certain, your mind can control you, more than you think. So, if I tell myself I want to know the answer, will I give it to me? I mean, I can make my mind an alarm clock to the second. Even predicting time exactly. I've noticed, lately, that when I learn something new, or hear something odd, it shows itself later that day. Example: If I learn a new word noone ever says, I'll hear someone say it on the news. I seriously think the mind can make the body do what it wished. ... Last edited by jjkjwo; 02-18-2007 at 05:12 PM.. |
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#2 |
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is against custom titles
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