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CHOCK FULL O' NUTRIENTS
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Very short story.
- Soft wax dripped from the candle, finding its place on the floor next to the filthy bed. The sheets stained of semen and lust were wrapped around the two lovers, but it was of no matter. This was cheap love, corner love that would come and go just as quickly as the man had placed the cash on the table, just as quickly as she had said, “Yes”, and just as quickly as he had gotten his pants off. But it was love none-the-less, the melding of two bodies in ecstasy. For her it wasn’t much more than a feeling, and for him she was little more than a receptacle, but there was a sincere aggression behind the way they moved, in rhythm and in patience, the whore’s hunger finally being satiated after so long, and the man growing tense. The closet door sat slightly open, casting a thin ray of light over the room, onto the bed and across the whore’s soft breast. The man concentrated, not wanting to end, but the game ends, the ship comes to harbor. He quickly falls asleep, now nothing more than a baby. The woman grows hungry, but waits. The room grows darker as the light in the closet retracts, and the receipt of the cheap room falls to the floor into the wax, face up. “$40.00 2 hour special!” There was a definitive creaking, like that of a see-saw as the door to the closet began to open. The springs on the broken bed began to sound as the whore backed away, preparing herself for the ritual to come. Thirteen, but it still came as a shock each time she saw it, never growing desensitized but always growing more engrossed. The thing climbed onto the bed next to the man, grinning, revealing row upon row of teeth. It hunched over the man’s chest and slowly licked the sweat, growing excited and beginning to drool thick bile onto the bed. The whore took a seat, and like a child watched the creature move through a mask of her fingers laced loosely over her eyes. His eye’s opened, and he began to scream, but it was choked off by the creature’s tongue sliding into his mouth. It cut off the air supply briefly, enough to make the man panic… He tried inhaling, but all that accomplished was excitement from the creature as the tongue was pulled rhythmically with the painful gasps. They were no good dead, but unconscious was fine. And all it could do is wait for the man to tire himself out. A sharp claw slid up the mans leg, before cutting into the soft flesh behind the scrotum. The creature squealed, it’s eyes growing wide. It laid down at the feet of the man and opened it’s legs, revealing another mouth and set of teeth. The toes went in first, throwing blood over the sheets and exciting the creature. Sharply, the man awoke and began to scream, but this only excited the creature more. It ravenously ate the legs, before stopping and reaching orgasm, the waves rolling over the creature’s body. It began to sweat, and its pallid grey eyes rolled back into the misshapen skull… All too soon, it was time to begin again. It ate up to the mans chest, climaxing again before he finally died. There would be no more pleasure from this lifeless husk. The creature unhinged its jaw and consumed the rest of the man from the head down. When there was no more to eat or abuse, it began to slide back into the closet. The whore looked at it with loving eyes, with a mother’s eyes as it began to shut the closet door. “Leave it open just a crack… I want you to see mommy work.” The light in the closet went on again, and the beam of light slid across the bed. Grey eyes watched from inside the closed as Mother removed the sheets and threw them into the closet on top of other sheets. She was already running late and had six more appointments to keep today. - Mal
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"A new take on the epic fantasy genre... Darkly comic, relatable characters... twisted storyline." "Readers who prefer tension and romance, Maledictions: The Offering, delivers... As serious YA fiction, Ill give it five stars out of five. As a novel? Four and a half." - Liz Ellor My new novel: Maledictions: The Offering. Now in Paperback! |
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#2 |
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Tiny Plastic Meat
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Christ, Mal. Where do you come up with this stuff? Eerie. But your setting descriptions and stuff are getting better.
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Goddess of Chocolate Sauce First ever graduate of the Quetzacoatino Academy for Aspiring Deities My lame LJ My friend Cassie's amazing photography |
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#3 |
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CHOCK FULL O' NUTRIENTS
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I honestly have no idea where this story came from. I was thinking about having a spider come out, but that's so cliched, I just decided to ditch the idea of a monster coming out for something more familiar.
Haunt yo dreams, biatch. Mal PS: I fully expect Tass to get in here at some point tomorrow, pick at the grammar and then fuss at me for not seeding the story in reality.
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"A new take on the epic fantasy genre... Darkly comic, relatable characters... twisted storyline." "Readers who prefer tension and romance, Maledictions: The Offering, delivers... As serious YA fiction, Ill give it five stars out of five. As a novel? Four and a half." - Liz Ellor My new novel: Maledictions: The Offering. Now in Paperback! |
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#4 |
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Hookers and Blow
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I was half expecting a tentacle or two. =/
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#5 |
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Retired BOSS
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Actually, the story isn't that bad... considering its extremely short length. That isn't to say that there weren't 1-2 grammar errors. But overall, it was unique and better.
Then again, as I'm always one who loves a long book... it makes me wonder how the "child" came to be.
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RIP |
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#6 |
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FFR Player
Join Date: Oct 2005
Posts: 1
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...WTF?? i just wanted to see what this was.. but damn man...
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#7 |
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Certified Calendarwhore
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Wow...Creepy. The story wouldn't have as much of an eerie feel if you were to use your original idea of a spider.
Alhtough, it makes me wonder what the creature is. =/
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#8 |
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Resident Penguin
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what was the "child" symbolic of?
but yeah this was better than your other stuff, I think. |
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#9 | ||
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MN is too cold
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Mal, you're really weird.
Still it was pretty good.
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#10 |
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CHOCK FULL O' NUTRIENTS
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The reason the creature is never exactly detailed is because part of the horror of this piece is you creating the creature in your mind from the details given.
I'm scared of spiders, but not everyone is... There is a universal fear in the unknown. Mal
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"A new take on the epic fantasy genre... Darkly comic, relatable characters... twisted storyline." "Readers who prefer tension and romance, Maledictions: The Offering, delivers... As serious YA fiction, Ill give it five stars out of five. As a novel? Four and a half." - Liz Ellor My new novel: Maledictions: The Offering. Now in Paperback! |
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#11 | |
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Certified Calendarwhore
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Sometimes, the best way to have effect is to let the mind of the reader create the image to the wildest extent of his or her mind. As for me, I don't like horror-genre media, so I guess what comes into my mind is not as horrifying as the image created by the other. But nonetheless, it's a nice story, complete with the horror effect. It would be have been better if you had posted this on Halloween.
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#12 |
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FFR Player
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^ I agree. i thought it was kind of freaky... My favorite part was when the creature was having an orgasm from eating the man.... Sick, but funny at the same time... hehe
O_o
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pyro31191: TELL EVERYONE YOU WANT TO TAKE IT IN THE ASS NOW pyro31191: rofl pyro31191: You should tell them earlier though pyro31191: so they can buy dildos instead of fleshlights |
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#13 |
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FFR Player
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I'm lost between the mother helping her child get sex or whether she's helping him/her eat.
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#14 |
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GotR Creator
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WHAT.
A. Good story, Mal. You've done it again! *applauds* |
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#15 | |
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Certified Calendarwhore
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Instead, I think the prostitute happens to be sadistic, but the cause of this comes from something that happened to her. Perhaps, this might be in a sense, revenge for something. Then she one days finds this creature, takes it in, and instantly feels the need to keep it... Of course, my last paragraph was kind of far-fetched. But, this story allows a lot of open-ended discussions and interpretations, which is a fun way to extend the enjoyment of reading this story.
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