Old 05-21-2005, 06:59 PM   #1
evilbutterfly
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Default Hernán Cortez

NOTE: ALL OF THE FLASH ANIMATIONS LINKED TO IN THIS POST WERE MADE ENTIRELY BY ME. I RECEIVED NO HELP IN MAKING THEM AND USED NOBODY ELSE'S WORK. THEY ARE ENTIRELY MINE. I used Flash MX to make them all, some at school and some at home, in case you were wondering.

So for my Senior Project I had to make a presentation and write a paper about a famous person from European history. So of course I'm gonna pick the guy that beat the shit out of the Aztecs. We had to have a visual aid, and Mr. Osborn said that PowerPoints were alright, so of course I'm gonna make a PowerPoint filled with flash animations. And of course there will be random explosions and blood and violence.

And of course I can't post the PowerPoint presentation, so I'll just show you all the flash animations with a brief run-down of what I said. I started the presentation by warning them that the animations would be pretty ridiculous, and that if they wanted the facts they should listen to me and not watch the PowerPoint at all. I then click the mouse and they saw:

The Birth of Hernán Cortez. No he wasn't born like this, but who cares! So then I tell them about how he lived during the...

Renaissance. On the left you have Michaelangelo doing his statue of David, in the middle you have Martin Luther posting his 95 Theses, and on the right you have Copernicus saying NO, because everything does NOT revolve around the Earth. I continued, saying that he also lived through...

Columbus' Discovery. That animation shows Columbus telling Ferdinand and Isabella about his findings. So then you have...

The Education (or lack thereof) of Cortez! Here he goes to school but due to sickness has to leave and never returns! Instead he...

Travels to America! Once he gets there, he becomes very well off. He gets some land (fuedal fief, if you will) and some slaves, and some ladies. One book I read called him a...

Don Juan. As you can see, Cortez was ridiculously well off. So well off that...

Velazquez tells him to go to America....or not... Enemies of Cortez convinced Velazquez (the governor of Cuba at the time) that Cortez shouldn't head the expedition because he'd steal all the glory. But Cortez goes anyway and...

Arrives in America, where the natives mistakenly think he's Quatzelcoatl returning as the prophecy said! Because of this, they bring him his classic clothes and then...

Worship him! They treated him like a god and worshipped him and gave him gold and all sorts of stuff. Speaking of gods, Cortez...

Hated their false idols and knocked them down! Not with grenades, though, but you get the idea. He was a strong Catholic (as was most of Spain since Queen Isabella was uber-Catholic) and was very against these statues. But then he found out that...

More Spaniards had landed at the shore! Cortez went to meet these "reinforcements" but found they were coming to arrest them. After a short battle (not pictured) he made him join them in hopes of getting gold. They returned and busted their friends out from the Aztecs, who had gotten angry and revolted, trapping the Spaniards. After regrouping...

The Spaniards launch their first (unsuccessful) attack. The Aztecs whooped their asses, basically. However, in their time there, they infected a lot of Aztecs with...

SMALLPOX! The Mexicans had no immunity to this as the Europeans did, so they dropped like flies. After some more unsuccessful attacks (since Cortez didn't have too many guys and not much of anything), Cortez gets the bright idea to...

Blockade Tenochtitlán until they starve to death! It worked like a charm, and he attacked again on the starving and smallpox'd Aztecs. After 2 and a half years he had finally beaten them (that's right, it wasn't an easy victory like they try to teach in school. White people are not always the best in everything, you see).

One reason for success was the better technology of the Spaniards. No, not the guns. The guns only scared the Aztecs. Bows and arrows fire a hell of a lot faster, and were actually more effective than early shitty guns that took 15 hours to reload. The swords were what really helped, since the Mexicans just had clubs covered with rocks that were unwieldly and not too effective. Also, the Aztecs tried to capture people for human sacrifices to the gods (hence why the Aztec has a net), but the Spaniards would just stab them. So after they beat the Aztecs, they...

Looted the hell out of them! Well, the gold, not the hell. But...

Too much gold was a bad thing. This animation was when I was running out of time, but it shows that increasing gold led to massive inflation, then starvation, which made people sad....and dead. Not only that, but...

People spread rumors about Cortez! They ruined his name, and when he went to Spain to clear his name, they took over his estate and began treating the natives very cruelly (first hand accounts tell us that Cortez was actually quite kind to the natives and did not approve of the over-colonization and exploitation of the Americas) and wouldn't give his stuff back when he returned. Those bastards! Thanks to them, many people have it in their mind that...

Cortez slaughtered innocent Aztecs! The truth is that he was kinda nice, and the Tlaxcallans (neighbors of the Aztecs who hated their guts and helped the Spaniards beat the shit out of them) loved him for killing of the Aztecs. In fact, one famous slaughter (in which unarmed women and children were dismembered and slaughtered while they tried to celebrate during a festival) that happened to the Aztecs was actually performed by the Tlaxcallans while the Spaniards watched in horror. But still, when people think of Cortez they think of what that animation shows: slaughter. It's not fair to him .

And that was my Senior Project. I got downgraded a lil bit for the animations though. Mr. O wrote on the grade sheet "Try not to distract the audience!" I was just trying to entertain!!
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So I've gone completely slack-ass and haven't done any work on creating games. =(

In less-depressing news, I got a job for an online business (which sells non-electronic games, of all things!) which has taught me a lot about marketing online and all that jazz.

So now I'm on Twitter @NoahWright.
And I write the blog for their website.

Plus I do cool programming in-house that you'll never see. =O
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Old 05-21-2005, 07:20 PM   #2
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Default RE: Hernán Cortez

*CLAPCLAPCLAPCLAPCLAPCLAPCLAPCLAPCLAPCLAPCLAP*

Standing ovation, sir.
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Old 05-22-2005, 11:37 AM   #3
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Default RE: Hernán Cortez

Indeed, that was extremely awesome. I totally dig the smallpox thing.
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Old 05-22-2005, 03:36 PM   #4
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Default RE: Hernán Cortez

Encore! Encore!
Great! Grand! Wonderful!
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Old 05-22-2005, 06:00 PM   #5
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Grand, simply grand. VERY Pythonish, I love it!
*rightclick-save on all flases*
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