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#21 |
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Again, you assume that more words dillutes, when in actuallity, a large string of words can give a much stronger tone than just a few. For instance, Charles Dickens. I'm told that I can put this "voice" into my writing very well, even essays. Unfortunately, I don't think I've been posting to my full potential here so I'm afraid no one else has had to read such posts.
NOTE: I never said anything about the poem being bad because of it not making sense, it only attributes to the confusion that caused frustration. I will agree with Poltech, it had no format, it was all just insanity. If you had done it in verse I would have definately accepted it much more. Another thing that bothered me is that if you were trying to get a message accross, it seemed to be a rather naive message. Monsters, bullets and gore? Floating in harmony around planets? If that's not mood swings and emotions only, I'm not quite sure how to interpret that. It seems to say "I need Prozac and something better to do." Never write poems about emotion, it's stereotypical and people will immediatly assume you're some depressed kid. Or a crazed Goth. Now, I won't go so far as to say that's not art. That's just a baby step. I don't want to hold you back, I'm asking you to hit the afterburners, go deeper into more rich literature as fast as possible. I want to read what you write. Remember, even a 5 year old on a violin sounds awful when he's learning the basics, but by the time he's 15 he'll be playing with the pros. Besides, if you do, I might gain a taste for poetry. Q |
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#22 | |
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Join Date: May 2004
Posts: 35
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#23 |
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To expand on that, I prefer my voice to be embedded in diction rather than allegory. If they can sense the tone but not identify where it came from, I think I did a job well done. When someone knows when I'm angry when I'm writing, but I haven't written an angry word, I think I did well. Allegory is just too obvious. Especially for a new writer. They'll hop on the allegory train and get slapped with stereotype and critique before anything else. "Obvious choices in symbols" or "lack of originality" will be attributed to this sort of thing. Poetry is a no win scenario, isn't it?
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#24 | |
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FFR Player
Join Date: May 2004
Posts: 35
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#25 |
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Glad you caught that. Critique should never be a slap. Did you hear that, fellas? Not a slap! Let off this guy, ok?
Even then, Poltech, readers won't like a change from the ordinary. Your new allegorys won't be accepted until long after your death. Take Vincent Van Gogh. Q |
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#26 | |
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FFR Player
Join Date: May 2004
Posts: 35
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As for Allegories that won't be accepted until after death, thats not always true, for we have poets who are winning nobel prizes for their work, while the piece of literature may appear to be about something other than emotion, who is to say the context of the poem is not a well written allegory? |
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#27 | |
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~Bang that beat Harder~
Join Date: Jan 2004
Posts: 2,321
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thank you for the positive, nonblatant i-think-it-sucks comments. that was wat i was looking for. and to be honest, i was trying to go for a "emo, crazy goth, insane" type of tone because i wanted to represent the mind of a crazy, insane person who played too many video games, with monsters from Mars referring to Doom, and went outside and killed everyone, thinking how everyone who mocked this person was a monster to that person. my persona is not in any manner surrounded by goth or emo; in fact i tend to dissocciate from any stereotype, but then again so is everyone else. see, you cant forget the reason that i wrote this.
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