Wasted resources

[Calcium Deposit]

There is a major problem that concerns us all.
Not just this country, not just this continent, but the WHOLE world.
We are wasting space.
Simply that.
We are running out of room on this planet. The effects are wide spread and seem to have no end in sight as can be evidenced by these photos.




I know, frightening.

But fret not! Hope is not all lost!
I have some space saving proposals for everyone to consider.

Proposition 1

Cemetaries, we see them everywhere, and they are growing.
Why? Because people can't stop ****ing dying. They keep doing it, then they insist on being buried instead of cremated. But I have a way to lessen the growth of these cemetaries.

Its a matter of simple geometry, really:

Humans, when in the lying down position, take up a lot of surface area.
As can be seen in this diagram:


There is a simple way to fix this: Bury humans standing up.


Now, keep in mind, this only slows the cemetary growth down, it doesn't stop it.

Unless we were to stack...






Then, the sky would literally be the limit.


Proposition 2

Orphanages.
More and more people are procreating on accident. And then for whatever reason refuse to get an abortion. Totally missing out on the chance to legally kill another human being. These unwanted children are then put into orphanages. And taking up space whilst they are there.
What I am proposing is nothing new, this has already been done in kennels and veterinary clinics.

I propose that if an orphan has not been found a home after 3 weeks, said child shall be put down in the most humane way possible.

And then stacked:





Proposition 3

Fat people.
They can take up as much as 3x the space as a normal person, sometimes more.
I propose strict dieting protocols and even stricter exercise regimens. Obese humans will be strictly monitored untill they reach the ideal %20 body fat percentage. Failure to comply will result in imprisonment.

In a way this will be killing several birds with one stone.
There is a fat "epidemic" in this country, nearly %60 of the population of the U.S. is obese. Now with the above mentioned proposition put into play, it would no longer be an epidemic. It would just be yet another period of history we will try, as a country, to forget ever happened.
We would also then have a surplus of food, which we could then export off to needy countries, for a price: the U.S. needs more cheap labor. Outsourcing just isn't simply enough.
Now keep in mind, these aren't slaves, they are servants. They do our bidding, but they get paid, clothed, and fed.


Proposition 4

General procreation.
Copulating is fun, isn't it? There are very few people who can disagree. Unfortunately it has some negative side effects. Unprotected fornication usually results in the female getting pregnant. And in some wilder cases the male getting pregnant as well.
Now this in itself is not necessarily the problem, some couples actually want children. However, some people have way too many children. This leads to over population.

I propose that couples shall produce no more than 2 offspring. Superfluous children will be sent to orphanage camps. "Orphanariums", if you will.
The offending male will then be castrated for disobedience. The offending female will have her vagina sown shut. They will also be required to complete 24 hours of community service whilst wearing giant taco costumes.

If for some reason this offense is committed a second time, the punishment will be repeated, but the community service will be bumped up to 48 hours.
The male may be put into the Spontaneous Regeneration Research Program.


Proposition 5

Soilent green may be people, but people are also people. And despite the fact that there are anti-cannibalism laws in place, cannibalism still exists.
You know what this means.
People must be pretty damned delicious.
We have countless pounds of delicacies just rotting underneath the ground, being devoured by worms, insects, and really determined cats.
I propose an alternate of means cemetary reduction:
The cannibalism of the recently dead. If the living heirs of the deceased bioform refuse to have their relative's corpse cremated, the body will then have all it's meat separated and processed into food.
The human body is full of nutrients. A steady diet of human can be very beneficial, and may make Proposition 3 useless.


Proposition 6

Suicides.
Life sucks, especially when you are running out of space to live it with. So people wuss out and kill themselves.

I propose we not only allow suicides, but encourage them. Honestly, depressed people suck, who wants to have a chronically depressed friend? No one, that's who.
This proposition will be incredibly useful if propositions 3 or 5 are put into play.



The time for change is now. If we do not act fast, are children's children may not have enough space to live, love, laugh, and grow.

[Calcium Deposit]

It is a political satire I did for my english class.

Edit - This was in response to a question that was deleted (not double posting

[shadow 1800]

you would say to "put down an orphan"? that is just inhuman and wrong, there is nothing wrong with the child and to just say, sorry kid we couldnt find you a parent so we are just gonna kill you, sorry hope you enjoyed your life. besides most of those places are just concerts, theres places where theres less than 1 person per square mile. I agree with the cremation proposition though, the bodies just sit and rot,getting eaten by worms and other insects, but on the other hand the body is good for compost for the ground.

[abro13]

People have to stop thinking subjectively and start thinking objectively. Just because it's sad, doesn't mean it's not needed. This thread will be flamed but it's a very good argument.

[DarkManticoreX2]

Originally Posted by Calcium Deposit

It is a political satire I did for my english class.

Read post 2

Pretty good. I really liked the burying standing up bit. Especially for when we have earthquakes. Then they can rise out of the ground.

[culmor30]

Amazing. What English class is this?

[omgitznpv]

Sky's The Limit

[Calcium Deposit]

Originally Posted by culmor30

Amazing. What English class is this?

College Writing 110.

[culmor30]

Nice. I'll be sure to take that (if/)when I get through high school.

[LLaMaSaUceYup]

Great job, nice post :]

[omgitznpv]

Originally Posted by Calcium Deposit

Edit - This was in response to a question that was deleted (not double posting

sori guise i ws half dead asked a dum quetion

[Zythus]

I see the luminosity in this topic, it seems pretty nice. Yeah, LOL @ earthquake and a stand-up burial. I support you.

But about the general issue on the lack and depriving of space, I would think that such is only a concentration of population in a certain area, Japan for example. Urbanized in Tokyo, quiet and rural in the countryside with only a population of merely a few thousand. Of course, we aren't too much in trouble of the teacup that we are in, but it will become a problem when urbanization kicks in without the accompaniment by the expansion of resources and land.

[BBoyGNF]

Humorously enilightening. I agree that we must get rid of fatness and help end all these accidental childbirths. But I have to ask.. what if the couple decides they want their second child and end up with twins? Would their penalties still be enforced, or should they be given a more fair punishment? Like say, changing the uniform penalty to being forced to wear rainbow suspenders and roller skates while made into Richard Simmons's workout buddies?

[Phynx]

I concur. I would like any and if all possible, all propositions to be put in place. I would like it better. XD

[dore]

"A Modest Proposal"?

[Nyokou]

There's still a lot of space for people to live.

Wyoming has a population of 522,830; compared to the 1 million that live in my city (Richmond, VA) alone. There's also the northernmost regions of Canada and not to mention Antarctica. Why not try to develop a superhuman race that adjusts to those temperatures well and send them there? That would be a lot better than killing people who could, theoretically, make the world a better place to live in and not have future generations look down on us as cannibalistic and monsterous killers of our own species.

This coming from a "fat" person. ;D