My Poem I wrote in English Class.

**25thhour** · 11-30-2009, 08:47 PM

This is my first poem I have written. So I know its not the greatest. Im only in Grade 10. My teacher let us pick numbers and we got a random topic to write a Dramatic Monologue on... I got Batgirl >.<

Well here it is:
Batgirl and Robin

I've been giving you signals every time we fight crime,
I've done it a million times, why dont you get the clue?
Come on and tell me so I dont waste your time,
Are other girls waiting in line for you?

Oh Robin, Oh Robin you're so very sweet,
You let me go in for the final blow,
(but not in a bad way you sick-minded freak!)
When were fighting evil above and below,

I just know that you're the boy for me.
Your smiles like sunshine, it lights up my life,
Your presence is like an STD, I can never get free.
I wish that I could become your wife.

I wish we'd hand out and grab some good MacDonalds (my teacher made a joke saying that this is the garbage can behind McDonalds) tonight.
Being with you is like being in heaven,
I wish this were true but I know it might,
Just be the old chicken from seven-eleven.

--------------

Oh yeah, I suck a poetry. ;P

**Magic_V2** · 11-30-2009, 09:04 PM

Not terrible. I sang it as a read it; Decent pop song at the least.

**25thhour** · 11-30-2009, 09:07 PM

Haha, Thanks. My teacher wants me to dress up in costume and present it in front of the class...

Quigly · 11-30-2009, 09:23 PM

Second stanza was pretty clever, made me chuckle.

The rest however, was pretty cliche. Not a bad idea for a poem though. Maybe give it some more creative metaphors and similes. Adding some imagery couldn't hurt either.

**25thhour** · 11-30-2009, 09:27 PM

Thanks for the constructive criticism. It is my first poem and I have to write more this semester in english. I'll post them on here and I hopefully get better at writing them.

**insanefreddy926** · 11-30-2009, 09:52 PM

maybe sticking to anapestic tetrameter or something like that throughout the poem can give it more flowww. if ya know what I mean.

hey nice job though. I couldn't have written a better dramatic monologue about Batgirl ^_^

**Flaming_Dingleberry** · 11-30-2009, 10:50 PM

I made a rap for my geography teacher. He asked someone to make a rap about something geography related, and of course some rap-obsessed tramp blurted out, "Aw yeah, Antonio (or whatever) can rap hecka good" and Antonio (or whatever) agreed and started bragging about himself with his friend. I thought to myself, "Yeah right, no way you're smart enough to compose something," so I actually made a rap even though I didn't have to. I'm a white guy and I usually dislike rap, but I made a rap about pyroclastic flow.

I think you can make the poem better, but it is good.

MrRubix · 11-30-2009, 11:07 PM

Not in the bad way?

More like not in the awesome way.

**25thhour** · 12-1-2009, 08:26 AM

Thanks Guys :P

Quote:

Originally Posted by MrRubix

Not in the bad way?

More like not in the awesome way.

Lmao, I would've wrote that but my english teacher might not have accepted it.

AquaTeen · 11-9-2010, 02:09 PM

I'm a sucker for good poetry because I'm a poet and author myself and I loved this poem

You did a great job and I liked the simile of "your presence is like an STD I cannot break free." great job and keep up the good work

Martika.Bella.Anne · 11-25-2010, 01:03 AM

I really enjoyed you poem 25thhour. Its really Good and Adorable :P

ORBB · 01-13-2011, 04:27 PM

I read it in a Batman voice.

**25thhour** · 01-13-2011, 06:58 PM

WTTFFF? Holy fuck this is an old poem LMAO.

Midnighter · 01-31-2011, 05:44 PM

Robin should tap that

**Dorby** · 02-14-2011, 12:04 PM

I personally found the poem repulsive and mediocre, but even that is giving it more credit than it deserves.

Rubin0 · 02-15-2011, 11:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 25thhour

My teacher wants me to dress up in costume and present it in front of the class...

Your teacher is a sadist.

Midnighter · 02-16-2011, 10:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dorby

I personally found the poem repulsive and mediocre, but even that is giving it more credit than it deserves.

Trolling

11-30-2009, 08:47 PM	#1
25thhour *I like max* Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: Vancouver/Burnaby/East Van Age: 30 Posts: 2,921	My Poem I wrote in English Class. This is my first poem I have written. So I know its not the greatest. Im only in Grade 10. My teacher let us pick numbers and we got a random topic to write a Dramatic Monologue on... I got Batgirl >.< Well here it is: Batgirl and Robin I've been giving you signals every time we fight crime, I've done it a million times, why dont you get the clue? Come on and tell me so I dont waste your time, Are other girls waiting in line for you? Oh Robin, Oh Robin you're so very sweet, You let me go in for the final blow, (but not in a bad way you sick-minded freak!) When were fighting evil above and below, I just know that you're the boy for me. Your smiles like sunshine, it lights up my life, Your presence is like an STD, I can never get free. I wish that I could become your wife. I wish we'd hand out and grab some good MacDonalds (my teacher made a joke saying that this is the garbage can behind McDonalds) tonight. Being with you is like being in heaven, I wish this were true but I know it might, Just be the old chicken from seven-eleven. -------------- Oh yeah, I suck a poetry. ;P __________________ r bae adam bae max bae bridget bae claudia bae trevor bae adam2 bae mayo bae keith bae

11-30-2009, 09:04 PM	#2
Magic_V2 RobMagic Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Las Vegas Age: 36 Posts: 638	Re: My Poem I wrote in English Class. Not terrible. I sang it as a read it; Decent pop song at the least. __________________

11-30-2009, 09:07 PM	#3
25thhour *I like max* Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: Vancouver/Burnaby/East Van Age: 30 Posts: 2,921	Re: My Poem I wrote in English Class. Haha, Thanks. My teacher wants me to dress up in costume and present it in front of the class... __________________ r bae adam bae max bae bridget bae claudia bae trevor bae adam2 bae mayo bae keith bae

11-30-2009, 09:23 PM	#4
Quigly nah Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: nah Age: 29 Posts: 3,506	Re: My Poem I wrote in English Class. Second stanza was pretty clever, made me chuckle. The rest however, was pretty cliche. Not a bad idea for a poem though. Maybe give it some more creative metaphors and similes. Adding some imagery couldn't hurt either. __________________ nah

11-30-2009, 09:27 PM	#5
25thhour *I like max* Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: Vancouver/Burnaby/East Van Age: 30 Posts: 2,921	Re: My Poem I wrote in English Class. Thanks for the constructive criticism. It is my first poem and I have to write more this semester in english. I'll post them on here and I hopefully get better at writing them. __________________ r bae adam bae max bae bridget bae claudia bae trevor bae adam2 bae mayo bae keith bae

11-30-2009, 09:52 PM	#6
insanefreddy926 Super Member Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: the Andromeda galaxy Age: 32 Posts: 187	Re: My Poem I wrote in English Class. maybe sticking to anapestic tetrameter or something like that throughout the poem can give it more flowww. if ya know what I mean. hey nice job though. I couldn't have written a better dramatic monologue about Batgirl ^_^ __________________ yeaorwgh.

11-30-2009, 10:50 PM	#7
Flaming_Dingleberry Everybody gets one. Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Fuckin space bro Posts: 1,008	Re: My Poem I wrote in English Class. I made a rap for my geography teacher. He asked someone to make a rap about something geography related, and of course some rap-obsessed tramp blurted out, "Aw yeah, Antonio (or whatever) can rap hecka good" and Antonio (or whatever) agreed and started bragging about himself with his friend. I thought to myself, "Yeah right, no way you're smart enough to compose something," so I actually made a rap even though I didn't have to. I'm a white guy and I usually dislike rap, but I made a rap about pyroclastic flow. I think you can make the poem better, but it is good.

11-30-2009, 11:07 PM	#8
MrRubix FFR Player Join Date: Dec 1969 Location: New York City, New York Posts: 8,340	Re: My Poem I wrote in English Class. Not in the bad way? More like not in the awesome way. __________________ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0es0Mip1jWY

11-9-2010, 02:09 PM	#10
AquaTeen FFR Player Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Syracuse, NY Age: 32 Posts: 76	Re: My Poem I wrote in English Class. I'm a sucker for good poetry because I'm a poet and author myself and I loved this poem You did a great job and I liked the simile of "your presence is like an STD I cannot break free." great job and keep up the good work __________________ To live is Christ, to die is gain Philippians 1:21 ♥

11-25-2010, 01:03 AM	#11
Martika.Bella.Anne FFR Player Join Date: Nov 2010 Location: Niagara Falls Posts: 1	Re: My Poem I wrote in English Class. I really enjoyed you poem 25thhour. Its really Good and Adorable :P

01-13-2011, 04:27 PM	#12
ORBB FFR Player Join Date: Nov 2009 Posts: 25	Re: My Poem I wrote in English Class. I read it in a Batman voice.

01-13-2011, 06:58 PM	#13
25thhour *I like max* Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: Vancouver/Burnaby/East Van Age: 30 Posts: 2,921	Re: My Poem I wrote in English Class. WTTFFF? Holy fuck this is an old poem LMAO. __________________ r bae adam bae max bae bridget bae claudia bae trevor bae adam2 bae mayo bae keith bae

01-31-2011, 05:44 PM	#14
Midnighter FFR Player Join Date: May 2009 Location: Suwannee, GA Age: 30 Posts: 49	Re: My Poem I wrote in English Class. Robin should tap that

02-14-2011, 12:04 PM	#15
Dorby fake plastic deez Join Date: Aug 2007 Age: 34 Posts: 870	Re: My Poem I wrote in English Class. I personally found the poem repulsive and mediocre, but even that is giving it more credit than it deserves.

Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)