The Dreams of Xiz

[Xiz]

Almost two years ago now, I started to write down all my dreams every day if I could remember them as soon as I woke up to see how weird my dreams were. Turns out the more I tried to remember them, the more detailed they got. So I thought I would share them with you. Because there are so many, I'm gonna start in August. AlexDest, Ryuyasha, and cheztheguy recommended to post these, so here you go. If people enjoy these, I'll keep posting, like once a week or every few days or something. Otherwise I'll just let this thread die haha.

Pro tip, the longer ones usually are the better ones. Enjoy.

[2012]
August

8/1/2012: I met Lucy from I Love Lucy, and we chatted about gambling. We had a plan to go to vegas as we strolled down the Taj Mahal but we ended up not going because Lucy didn't have a fake. So then we tried to test out a fake I made on cardboard. I hit the bouncer with it and we ran in. But what we ran into was one of those 50's milkshake shops. Like a Johnny Rocket's but without the burgers. Lucy then had a heart attack and I got arrested for not having enough swag.

8/2/2012: Was in a desert, but I wasn't thirsty or any of that stereotypical crap. I was with my good friend Dylan, and we were wondering how we got there. Turns out we were in an elevator, and we just had to press the open door button. (We both got stuck in an elevator last year, was lolz) In order to pass the door we ran into the bridge troll from Monty Python. However he spoke German so we couldn't understand him and walked by. Then I lost Dylan and was on American Idol. Or The Voice. One of them. But I couldn't sing so I just left.

8/3/2012: Jelly was the main form of currency. Not sure why, but it was my job and my mini robot friend to find out. We had a huge magnifying class that we put ants, houses, and people under to try and find out why. We ended up in Dexters Laboratory and became a cartoon. Then there was a turnip farm, but the turnips kept floating away. We were sad, so we sung the turnips a song as they floated away.

8/4/2012: I was in class back at my University. Don't know what the class was about, but the classroom was almost empty. The classroom split into three sections, and in order to pass a test (or just live?) I had to throw chairs into the void, and bounce on them in order to get to the other two sections of the classrooms. I fell, then woke up.

8/5/2012: Was hiking in the wilderness? There was a bear and my sister there. They both were just chill in' doing nothing. Also there was a red 1967 camaro. With monster-truck tires. Then I don't know what happened.

8/6/2012: My mom and dad were at my graduation for college. They both gave me a penguin for a present. The penguin had the power to warp time so I went around with him (it was wearing a collared shirt) and did things like robbed banks and pinched peoples butts.

8/7/2012: Sex dream. Not talking about it.

8/8/2012: Kirby learned how to do Dance Dance revolution. It was the championship, and I was there. For some reason it was held in the Fight Club basement. there were tiny strippers. Like, two feet tall. The finals was Kirby Vs. My gym teacher from 5th grade. Kirby shot him with the mini-gun from the heavy. Because my gym teacher died I won, because I apparently turned into kirby. Also someone ate all the pizza and I cried.

8/9/2012: Was in city hall, which ended up being that one huge governmental thing in star-wars with the light up disks. But then that turned into Tron. I was just a spectator because I was too scared to die fighting. However, when one bike was zooming by me, I stuck my foot out and tripped it and it exploded. I was sent to jail for it where I found Jake and Finn from adventure time. They were dead though.

8/10/2012: You know the sound bars in music? Like audio levels? Yeah It was like that mixed with tetras and I was trying to not let the levels pass this red bar. I failed and was sent into the sky, really really high. Apparently turtles could float, not fly also. They had knifes for fins, or hands, whatever.

8/11/2012: Can't remember anything…

8/12/2012: Was walking in downtown denver, when an earthquake struck. The circus that was in downtown denver fell through the crack. All clowns died, and they were filled with eclair cream. They exploded like zits. Then billy mays was there and we got starbucks.

8/13/2012: One of my ex-girlfriends came into a bar where I was at, so I bought her a drink. Turns out the drink was one of those barrels in donkey kong. I then pushed it down the bar to her, where it suddenly got bigger and bigger and crushed everyone and everything in it's path. Because apparently depth perception didn't exist in this dream, I ended up just flicking it away into the stars. (You know in pokemon how team rocket blasts off and theres that little 'ding' and star? Thats what happened)

8/14/2012: I was stuck in a barrier, held by some guy in a mask. Who turned into a ghost. I think. Not really sure. I head butted the barrier, and it shattered. The shards kind of became frozen in time, so I welded a few shards into a chair, where I sat with Obama and chatted about how he was gonna help me be successful in my life.

8/15/2012: I was walking through a forest when a deer came out. It was a transformer and killed me. It was a nightmare. I was so scared…

8/16/2012: Having dinner with a few of my friends and the chuck-e-cheese rat, when the table we were sitting at turned into a live creature. It begged us to free it. Not sure from what. So we did. It ran away with our food. So we were baking an omelette but we forgot about it and ended up going to see Adventure Club live in concert at RedRocks theatre in Denver. (Btw, great theatre)

8/17/2012: Went shopping for some food, and I filled up my basket full of corn. Lots of corn. So much corn that the cart couldn't take it and the corn with the cart fell through the earth creating a huge hole. I then jumped down this hole hoping I would find some treasure or women but ended up working as a slave in a hot-dog packaging factory.

8/18/2012: Can't remember.

8/19/2012: Can't remember. Something about coins.

8/20/2012:It was pearl harbor. I managed to take out a lot of invading airplanes by just swiping them with my hands, because apparently my hands can do that. I found my girlfriend there so we made love as everyone was fighting. (I mean come on, when the mood is there… you know how it is) Also I remember there was a debate about potatoes. Not sure why.

8/21/2012: I abandoned my college career to become an astronaut. By slingshot. But it didn't work because I never wanted to get in, because it didn't look safe. People were trying to convince me to get in, so they sent melons in and fired it at the moon. The moon then exploded.

8/22/2012: It wasn't a dream in first person, or any person. It was about Facebook. Like I could move the Facebook layout to whatever I wanted it to do. So like profile picture was upside-down, and the chat box i removed. Kinda cool.

8/23/2012:If you have seen "Where the Hell is Matt" - That viral video on youtube, it was that but I was the camera guy. And it was cool because I could teleport by blinking really slowly. My eyes were giant also, I knew because it was one of those out of body things.

8/24/2012: I worked in an apple store, or was a shopper in the apple store, or something. Both. But there were lizards everywhere. And when the lizards would line up on the wall in pairs of two-three they would turn into apple products.

8/25/2012: Was in a rap video with Ke$sha and the pig from the GEICO commercials. The pig wanted to find his father so we went around multiple slaughterhouses to find him. Ended up just playing pac-man.

8/26/2012: I traveled to Madrid to become the worlds best dancer, and when I got there I realized I didn't know how to dance. Kinda sucks because I was on stage in front of millions of people. I tried to run away but my legs didn't work. I felt like crap because superman was in the audience. I felt like I let him down.

8/27/2012: I was a Tauren Shaman. World of warcraft baby. I went between playing him, and being him through a new add-on on Curse. However I had to eat a bite of ice-cream every time I wanted to make a switch. Problem was, the ice cream was on the other side, not in the WoW world so I was stuck there. Then the alliance came. But they were kinda broken because they weren't green-screened correctly, it was like a bad video.

8/28/2012: Sex dream again. It was bad. And weird. I am NOT talking about it. Ever.

8/29/2012: I had to help crocodiles get into Noah's ark by swinging like tarzan before the lava came. There were also lava people. They had heads made of fire with legs of spiders. I dropped the croc's into the lava though. One died, but the other swam away. I tried to take out my revenge on them but I ended up at a bookstore where I just sat down and read something about books.

8/30/2012: I was at an outdoor BBQ - but it was one of those really boring office parties. I remember a really big fat guy with a tie so a bunch of us started to roll him around for fun. He ended up turning into a snowman, and it also turned into winter. Then It turned into Animal Crossings, where in winter you can make snowman's. I then chilled on the beach with Lobo (One of the most bad-ass animals in the village) and Bud. It was great. Really relaxing and Zen-like.

8/31/2012: I was on sale, for something like a billion dollars, but nobody bought me. Probably because I was being sold in the meth store. This store also sold sugar and tomatoes. Nothing really happened after that.

September

9/1/2012: Something about falling off of something. That's all I really got… It was something like a metal tower. Perhaps a radio tower? Not sure.

9/2/2012: Was in a huge chess game, but it was a mix between checkers and solitaire. Like all games mixed into one. There was a game master, named "Twisted Fate" from League of Legends. My friend Paul was there, but he died from getting crushed by a rook. Nothing much happened after that.

9/3/2012: I was the worlds best DJ. It was great, I had lots of followers, money and everything. However I blew it all on a personal helicopter. Then a charger from LFD2 came out of nowhere and tried to charge me, and nocked my helicopter into the water below. I got so angry I threw a building at him. By this time I was a giant, and so was he. But he ended up shrinking and charging into a wall where he died. I found a shotgun in his body. I picked it up and found out it shot music notes. Lots of them. But these music notes would slice people open into millions of pieces, or get stuck in enemies and then explode. But the exploding thing happened only once. Otherwise it shreded people.

9/4/2012: Found some relic. Made of chocolate. Took it to this giant obelisk where I had to stand on my head in order for it to take the chocolate relic and give me a teleporter, like the one in TF2. I then apparently grew 500 feet and smashed the obelisk with my teeth. Also my teeth turned into albino snakes that were on my side and crushed cars with them.

9/5/2012: My entire family died while I was making a sandwich.

9/6/2012: Can't remember at all

9/7/2012: I was stuck in a portal 2 map but I didn't have a portal gun, so instead I burst through the walls with my fists. I had to get to the end, which was a pile of jellybeans the size of burgers.

9/8/2012: I was visiting my grandma but there was a hurricane. I used my body to hide her but she got sucked up in what turned into a tornado. But it was okay because I grabbed her out of the sky before she flew away. But her arm broke then she died. So I tried to make a new grandma by going to an Ace hardware store, but ended up using the tools there to fend off zombies that attacked.

9/9/2012: I got up, took a shower, brushed my teeth, got ready for class then woke up. Worst. ****ing. Dream. Ever.

9/10/2012: I made out with some girl I met. It was nice.

9/11/2012: I was the conductor of a train, but it was a terrorist train. I found this out and i tried to stop the terrorists. But there were no terrorists because the actually train was a terrorist. I didn't know how to kill trains so I let it go on its way. Then I ate some applejacks.

9/12/2012: It was christmas, and santa was there with a T-rex disguised as a raindeer, I think? I knew of its sickly plans so I called him out on it. All three of us then watched the Packers game in the stadium where the man behind me spilled beer on me. So I punched him. He then melted.

9/13/2012: Kinda don't remember this one… something about inception mixed with minecraft.

9/14/2012: I had to clean all the hippos at the zoo or I would get fired from living. I ended up getting fired because one hippo got away (it turned out to not be a hippo, but my parent's lawyer) so I just became a guest at a zoo and pushed a kid to the ground. He started to cry then everyone started chasing me. But it was okay, because I knew how to fly. But then I didn't so I crashed to the ground and woke up.

9/15/2012: Same dream as August 26th - I was a chef instead of a dancer this time. But the same events occurred where I was embarrassed. But superman wasn't there that time.

9/16/2012: I bought a new computer. The computer was made of some type of gelatin. So when I poked it, it wiggled everywhere. It ended up turning into an ameba type thing and went into my floor vent. So I went after it. I then was launched out of a cannon where I had to fight Bill Clinton to the death. He turned out to not only be a ninja but he could summon fire. I was so ****ed.

9/17/2012: Jeopardy. I think I was watching it? Not sure. I knew I wasn't playing because it was in something like hieroglyphics, that were melting. There was then a conflict about a house, or a building. Then the police came.

9/18/2012: I was drowning in an ocean. I was saved by stepping on starfish to get to land to be safe, but every time I stepped on them I killed a starfish. So I apologized to each one as I killed them. The island I landed on turned out to be Chicago. I then got really, really ****ing pissed because I was forced to be a Cubs fan (lol) so I ran away. I kept running, running, running. (seriouslylly, running in dreams is really hard)

9/19/2012: Sex dream. With a hot friend from high school. Hell yeah.

9/20/2012: Dolphinian, King of Dolphins decided to set fire to the rival kingdom of Italy. Wars were fought. I was on the side of Dolphins, however I was a spy because I looked like an italian since I was human. But then I got stabbed by a giant ninja star. Then as I died I found myself in an apple-bee's

9/21/2012: I made smores with a few friends in someones backyard, but along with my friends was Pierce Morgan and Captain Price from Call of Duty. I then threw the campfire at a family of koalas in a nearby palm-tree. Something dangerous was happening, and all I remember was Pierce Morgan saying "Check those corners" (Which is weird, because that's captian Price's line)

9/22/2012: I went to purchase a baby at a McDonalds but they were out of milkshakes so I decided to not buy the baby. So the waitress placed the baby back in what looked like a bin of babies. I then went to the beach, where these massive beach balls were rolling down the beach, and it was my job to make sure none of the beachballs would kill any of the Bill Nye's near by. I got extra power to defend him by Bill Nye telling me cool science facts, like something about Jupiter. I then was in space with him, by Jupiter. We got caught in the gravitational pull of the planet, so I used a giant bra as a parachute. Bill Nye I don't think made it. Think he died. Because he disappeared, or I lost track of him. I landed in some type of candyland (I watched adventure time the night before, so I think it was that candy city thing)

9/23/2012: I HAD A DREAM ABOUT DOING TAXES. WHO THE **** DREAMS ABOUT DOING TAXES.

9/24/2012: Something about an electrical plug. It being like a vacuumme that sucked my soul.

9/25/2012: Okay this one was weird. I dreamed about shapes. But they were not shapes. It was kind of a nightmare, because some of the shapes were getting too overwhelming, others were not? Does that make sense? What the hell am I saying none of my dreams make any sense.

9/26/2012: Can't remember a thing.

9/27/2012: Can't remember… I wanna say I was on a farm but I could be wrong.

9/28/2012: I was playing the game Civilization 5. I owned the faction of Equestria. Then the Gauls invaded. (I believe they were the Gauls, because they were green and red, and I played Rome Total War earlier this week) To defend Equestria I just hit the computer screen. It worked. I then got the key to the city by the monopoly guy.

9/29/2012: Yogurt. Yogurt everywhere. I don't know what the **** was going on.

9/30/2012: Being President of the world, my first motion was to ban the letter "G" because only losers used the letter G. This caused riots. I then found myself in the riot teaching others how to riot. I went to grab a baseball bat which turned into a harpoon. I then spawned a car (like you do in Grand Theft Auto) but it was a bicycle. I threw the bicycle at my sister.

October

10/1/2012: I was in a Nascar race. There were loopdeeloop's on the track but we were badass and didn't care. Also, my rival was Lightning McQueen from Cars. But he didn't really do anything besides just say quotes from Sonic the hedgehog. I then became a mobster where we sold lobsters for currency. We fished for them with our fists. There was also a very tiny porcupine that I had in my pocket but he was kinda a dick.

10/2/2012: I appeared to be in some sort of haunted house. In order to summon the Horse Ghost (who owned the mansion) I had to play the Pokemon bicycle theme from my radio hand. The batteries ran out of my hand and the horse ghost got pissed because I ruined his grand summoning entrance. He then decided to not invite me to his quesadilla party but I attended anyway. Oh, it also was a masquerade quesadilla party.

10/3/2012: Canada invaded Russia. Canada's mother was insulated by a drunk Russian at a bar. Then there was a pool party filled with cheetos. It went great till a kid drowned in it. We then sent a search party using submarines and scuba-divers but when we got down there we found a briefcase with some lawyers. We stole their briefcase but never opened it.

10/4/2012: I had to decide between what fruit would be the next contestant on 'the price is right' - I ended up pushing down the walls of the gameshow stage with my head. I also stole the motorcycle prize, a monkey and a very tiny hat.

10/5/2012: I had to fight my father with pots and pans, also there was a drug dealer chick who crashed my party. So I ran her over with car inside the house. Everyone loved it so people bought me shots in my own house. I then went to play a real life version of minesweeper, but instead of bombs it exploded people with depression. So people were depressed for the rest of their lives instead of blowing up from bombs.

10/6/2012: #1: It started with Deep Space 9 spinning out of control then splitting into two, and one half exploding killing half of my crew. I had to go fight a war against the republicans, so I had to gather up my troops. Everyone who died on the half of the ship that exploded was stuck in limbo, and could had to wait 10 years to get into heaven or hell. However, because I was in need of troops, they all agreed to come help me fight, knowing that if they died one more time they would no longer have a soul. They made weapons that included weapons such as a spork attached to a toothpick, a pillow dipped in hot sause, and a bar-stool leg that had too many splinters. I was honored they would fight with me, but I got distracted and played Excitebike and didn't fight the war.

I then woke up. It's the weekend so I fell back asleep, for dream #2

10/6/2012: #2: I worked at like a costco or big chain supermarket or something. I was hoping to get a discount so i put all the chocolate in the store in my cart. I then found myself in a car chase, where my supermarket turned into a car and I was chasing this black BMW. We ran 5 stop-signs and i threw up every time I ran a stop sign. My car crashed into a rodeo where I spent the rest of the night swing-dancing. I found myself as the entertainment telling a story using two candles, and how they moved into college together and fell in love. (During this time, the MLPs2 finale 'Love in Bloom' intro part of that song was playing. I realized how stupid my story was so I just said "then everybody died, the end" - the one kid in the audience gave me a C. His name was Nesquick.

10/7/2012: I was ice skating with a bunch of my friends. Nothing exciting there. I then found myself filming an african tribal dance in slowmotion, because people from Ethiopia were the first in the world to figure out how to live in slow motion. As I was filming this, my film crew consisted of John Stewart from the Daily show, and the mean shrub from adventure time. Also my camera had a compartment to hold jelly beans. Some other stuff happened, then I found myself doing dishes in an asian restaurant.

10/8/2012: It was kind of like the movie 'Holes' where I was looking for buried treasure, but just to make sure the government wouldn't loose me they put house-arrest bracelets on my feet. I found lots of bullets that I threw at people. I then calculated air. But failed.

10/9/2012: It started off as an airplane passenger dream, and how the airplane thought it would be a great idea to fly 10 feet from the ground, nocking over telephone poles and whatnot. I then found myself on an island similar to the dead island game, but before the zombies. I then murdered most of my friends one by one, because their bodies were made of coleslaw. The government didn't really care I was murdering everyone because I distracted them with scrabble. I then decided to open up a twix factory but instead we made sushi.

10/10/2012: Something about two girls wanting me to play DDR with me. But instead I drove my car down a few flights of stairs.

10/11/2012: I had three pet dogs, whose noses were knives. They were wearing red capes. One of the capes on one dog got stuck on a door, and some female dog helped get it off. Then they proceeded to have sex. As they were doing so, they floated away into space. WHY ARE DOGS HAVING SEX IN MY DREAMS? GTFO. Also, I became a mechanic, fixing things like the engineer in TF2 by hitting things with a wrench. So I made a stove and a racecar.

10/12/2012: I was a traffic cone with herpes. I knew because my Doctor, Professor Hippo told me. (He was a hippo)I then got ran over by a wagon. There was a grasshopper who was eating me.

10/13/2012: I caught on fire whenever I ate an apple. I used this to my advantage by defeating the evil toasters of Babylon. Luckly I was about 500 feet bigger then them so it wasn't much of a fight to begin with. Anyway, I became friends with a talking stop-sign who thought I was ugly. I used my friend to get into nightclubs, and wouldn't return his phone-calls.

10/14/2012: I was at a Black Eye'd Peas concert, but when I got there, it was literally a pit of black eye'd peas. It was a trap, because I was then in a black eye'd pea soup. I got out by hitting my friend in the face with a mallet. By doing so it opened a door that let us free.

10/15/2012: Driving in my car, the size of a peanut. I pointed my finger as a gun and caused people to fall over, but not die. I then wrote a book on whales. Can't really remember what happened next, but then I had to peel grapes before I could have a wife because she was pregnant with puppies.

10/16/2012: So the entire planet (not earth) was being attacked by fire people. Flame demons and flame elements of all kinda, lead by Princess Luna. I had to fly around and save people who were locked up inside of cages made of flame. I then found myself on the island of Lost, where deep in the ocean I found an orb. I looked through the orb, and found Princess Luna was going to attack this planet. (So now im dreaming in reverse-narrative order lol) She threatened me that she was going to do it, and there was nothing I could do to stop her. She then casted a spell where I felt a weird power go through my chest. So then I went to a waterpark where I hit on hot lifeguard chicks. I found myself then at an improv show, where I was turned into a baby and I had to control it using fried-chicken controllers. I then remembered I was late to my english class and a paper was due, so I tried leaving, but the guy sitting behind me threw a house at a tv. I ended up making out with a really hot chick who was hitting on me, but when I finished making out with her it turned out to be the Janitor from scrubs. So I bought the extended directors cut of "Scott Pilgrim Vs The World" which turned into "Lost" extended edition, showing a map on the back, being cuba, being the island I was on earlier in the dream. I was back on that island, where the smoke monster was located in the city of Zha. But I just bought sunglasses at a 7/11 instead.

10/17/2012: Cabbage. Cabbage everywhere. It wasn't fun. I got hit in the face by cabbage, and on impact it went into slowmotion. I drowned in cabbage. Why cabbage? Why... Not what I was expecting for a nightmare. Also there was a giant clownfish spitting out the cabbage though its eyes.

10/18/2012: I was in a demolition derby, but our cars were made out of something like styrofoam, or bubbles or something like that. I ended up killing a puppy that ran onto the track so I vowed to forever drink campbells tomato soup once a day.

10/19/2012: I was in some massive hotel where I was playing poker with Lola Bunny and the 'Mayhem' guy from Allstate Insurance. I got beat bad though, so I got angry and left. I then was on stage giving a talk about the reason that celery should be used as weapons but I accidentally farted. This caused the earth to go off it's normal spinning rotation, causing earth to go crashing into Jupiter. But it's okay I wasn't on earth at the time. I was having tea and playing xbox up in space with the Heavy from TF2.

10/20/2012: I did not steal the dolphins, the army of Bill Cosby's did.

10/21/2012: I was the magic carpet man, and I was trying to steal all the eclairs on the submarine train. But the conductor caught me, so he sent me to counseling with Tina Fey. But Tina Fey was my accomplice, so we broke a window to escape but she ended up drowning because we were under water. I learned how to breath underwater suddenly so then I made a raft out of old shells and tin-cans on the sea bed. I then went to the shore, where I entered a limbo contest but lost badly to a stone titan. I called him out on cheating because he was fat. But that made him cry.

10/22/2012: I was in the Left 4 Dead game, I guess I was playing Francis because he wasn't there. It was weird because it kept switching between the l4d and l4d2 characters. As the dream started, we were in the safehouse, then Louis walked out and instantly died from a charger. His body then exploded. We then went to a Domino's pizza place, but they were out of pizza's. So we then decided to discuss different religions. Something else happened... then I was doing homework, but my paper kept floating away so I couldn't finish it. Bill kept being a ****in' prick by shooting my homework with a shotgun and kept mic spamming.

10/23/2012: This will be hard to explain. So I was ON Greece, but not in it. Like a map. And in order to get to South Africa, I had to cut a hole in Greece to fall through to Africa, because Africa was on the next page or something. As I did so, I got attacked by pirates, but they were 2D so I just used my Z axis to get away from them.

10/24/2012: I had to give AIDS to either a bunny or a building (via touch). So I gave it to the building. The building's wife left him and he died a few days later under a bridge. Also under that bridge was a golden tooth that I used to unlock a door to enter the magical world of edible chairs. I could only eat three though, thats how many tickets I bought, not thinking in advance.

10/25/2012: My best and only friend was a stove named Steve. I couldn't feed him rabbits anymore so he demanded 50% of my stuff. I said no obviously, so we took a bunch of playpen balls and bashed them against kids heads. Every kid we hit they exploded into pink dust.

10/26/2012: Was up all night, but what I remember was I was making churros but they were used as weapons in medieval wars. Julias Cesar was there but he made me a salad. (Kinda ironic lol) - But he made me pizza instead. Also, everyone in the war was tiny, so I just used my hand to kill like, 500 people at once. I then pee'd on the city of Rome, and Cesar didn't like that.

10/27/2012: I went to rob a bank with four people, including my family. Our dress code was all black, but I didn't get the memo so I wore all blue. So we got to this bank, and one of our bank-robber mates used a rocket launcher on the elevator, causing it to open. That set off the alarm. I got angry because we could have just pressed the down-arrow on it to open it. Anyway, we went down and found ourselves in a hallway. Some guy in a party hat was shooting at us, I didnt have a gun. The guy next to me gave me an umbrella instead. Turns out it was an umbrella-tazer. Oh, we killed that one guy, but it was his birthday. I then woke up.

10/28/2012: All I can remember is a snake biting me in the arm, and it wouldnt let go. Also it was the medieval times, I turned the snake into a weapon. It then turned purple and told me a bedtime story. I remember saying "**** you snake" and then threw it at a bride at a wedding. She didn't react. The wedding then commenced and finished. I then ate cake.

10/29/2012: Can't Remember

10/30/2012: I was one of my old houses, and there was a massive big light coming from the stars down onto a tree, giving it tree cancer or something. I put my arm in the light and it shriveled up and died. But i took it back out and it seemed to be okay. I was also stargazing, taking photos, but every time i took a photo of the stars, i would look at the photo and it would be a drawing by a five year old. Then Godzilla wanted to have a slumber party but then I said no because I only was friends with him to get with his sister, Emma Stone.
10/31/2012: So there was a hot girl who was a fire elemental-type thing, and then she was fighting against some douche, being a shadow elemental. They were first humans but then morphed into these massive building-sized flames and shadowing going back and forth exchanging blows, not like fists but they would slice through each-other. The hot fire elemental chick lost, and I thought she died. I confessed my love for her, but she was standing behind me. It was really awkward. The bell rang so I went into class, but it was the first time I showed up with 3 weeks left in the semester. And it was a test day. I tried to take the test but instead drew pictures of hamsters on my test. Not sure what grade I got.

November

11/1/2012: So I was chosen with 6 others to travel to a new planet. We went in our rocket ship, and it took 5 min's to get there but the timezone difference was 8 billion hours. When we got there, a plane flew overhead saying "welcome newbies" - there were eclairs and muffins for everyone. Oh, after that there was this one douche named Hector, who controlled everyone using ring-pops and by singing. Everyone then attacked me. I tried telling Ron Burgundy, but he didn't listen. He just drank. So I then tried running. I found myself in a tattoo parlor, but instead of giving tattoo's i was branding people. So I branded someone in the face with a huge, and they caught on fire and died.

11/2/2012: I was in in a rocket ship. It was blue. That's all I got... lol

11/3/2012: I was at minuteman missile silo back in the 60s - and I had to launch a nuke at the Persians. I didn't want too but I had to. So I pressed the button then it broke. I was blamed so I went to bed. But I couldn't sleep so I pushed my friend out of his chair and ate his nachos.

11/4/2012: Didn't sleep. All nighter lol.

11/5/2012: I was attacked by a flying squid-type thing. Kinda looked like the ghast from Minecraft, but more round and blueish-black. Anyway, it took my wallet. I then made salsa because I worked at a tomato farm, but the tomatoes were the size of houses. I remember saying "This tomato is too big. I cant make salsa with these!" So then the farmer made a campfire as we played jazz. But none of us had jazz instruments, so we used our arms.

11/6/2012: Was falling through a hole, but i wasn't going anywhere. Ended up stealing the queen of england. She was tiny. So I put her in my mouth. She drowned, and I got sad. Oh, there was Beyonce with the single ladies dancing also.

11/7/2012: I was at a club, listening to "Gangnam style" however whenever people would dance, they would float away. Also, only part of the song was "AAAAAAaaaiiiii sexy laaadddyyyy" and people would slide into the corner. the weight of everyone packed onto one side of the building caused it to tip over into the ocean. But it's okay no water was able to get in, so we partied with starfish.

11/8/2012: I was a superhero. Only downside was I didn't know what super power I had but I had a huge fanbase. So I made a sandwich, and people loved it. Women fainted. Men started crying. I was wondering how the entire city could fit in my kitchen but it worked. I then punched one of my fans in the chest and because he was made out of jelly he started to wiggle. I thought he was break dancing so I joined him.

11/9/2012: Lol okay... so I built a rocket, or I was a rocket, something about rockets. I was pointed and headed toward Nebraska. No idea why, no idea what they did, but apparently the United States raged war on Nebraska. I got to Nebraska to blow them all up, but they made me hush-puppies as a peace offering. I simply laughed, tossed those hush-puppies away and proceeded to play scrabble with them. I couldn't really win because I only could get and use one letter per turn. So I started singing.

11/10/2012: Tornado. It was tiny. So tiny. It swapped up my tiny cow farm. So I stomped the tornado out, doing so killing all my cows that were still in the tornado. But most of them didnt die, just when I stomped on it they started to all climb up my leg and limbs, demanding a refund for the Doritos they never bought.

11/11/2012: My family died. I was at their funeral... nothing funny about this one...

11/12/2012: My weapon of choice for the great war against the Egyptians was sheep on fire. But like, good fire, the one that dosent burn you. As I threw them, they flew away, not hitting their target, so we raged war on sheep. And Ireland. We saw the Demoman from TF2 there but he was too drunk to talk to us. We used his body as a beach ball as we partied like they do in those Coors Light commercials. My hand turned into a fin, and I slapped a girl in the face with it because she was Republican.

11/13/2012: Turtles were made out of Iron. We used their bodies as a fuel supply. Also, it was free Waffle day for everyone who donated a can of soup. That's about it.

11/14/2012: Can't remember...

11/15/2012: Me along with 50 of my friends were in one of those claw machines found at an arcade place. Pretty much it was a "Hunger Games" style arena, but there was a claw also. So as we were killing eachother, some were brought up in the claw, then dropped to their death. I placed first without killing anyone because i had a pet Pikachu - who was so cute that everyone died.

11/16/2012: Preppin' for finals week. Had a huge project. All-nighter. Didn't sleep.

11/17/2012: I was a western style sheriff looking over a Wendy's. Pretty much anyone who tried to order a Big Mac I would kill. There ended up being a huge pile of bodies, and whenever I shot someone, they would die in slowmotion, and go flying. Like there was a body stuck in the ceiling fan, another stuck on a painting. Because fuck physics. I then got my prize for doing such a great job, and it was a packet of clorox wipes.

11/17/2012: #2 (I took a nap around 2pm from being sick. This might be one of my most powerful dreams yet)

So this dreams starts out with a terrorist organization, consisting of about 12-15 men, but their numbers really ranged within the hundeds-of-thousands. Their reasons are unknown, but they are showing going around and killing random groups of individuals, in different locations montage style. Showed them killing on a train, then on a boat, on a plane. Major methods of transportation seemed to be a theme. I remember one shot where it showed a list of 50 individuals, and most of them had a big red "X" through them. I never saw if my face was on there, but I knew it was. I was then shown in some apartment (that was my own) scavenging around, when I found a trap door. I went down it, it was a huge room with pluming in it, including hundreds of boxes. Some were big, some were small, but the contents I knew were highly valuable. And inside these boxes were exactly what they were looking for. I then heard a crash, I knew they were inside my house. I took one smaller box - and went into another secret passage behind a bunch of boxes in the basement, which went on for quite a while. I opened them and saw what was inside, sighed, then closed in and kept heading down the passage. I opened the door at the end, which led me into what I thought was some sort of medical school mixed with a university library. I walked past students working at computers, and I noticed one in particular who was manning the help-desk behind these rows of computers who was eye'n me down. I kept moving. I ran into one of my University friends (Elizabeth) - I asked her I needed help, it was an emergency - and we needed to hurry fast. I needed something from her. She asked what was wrong - so I told her the backstory as we hurried through many halls and up and down flights of stairs...

(During part of this narration, some images of whats described below was seen, as it cuts back and forth between me running with Elizabeth)
"About 25 years ago (in 2016) the world got together and dubbed "Bronies" as a curse against humanity, a sin, an act against god. They had everything to do with My Little Pony either burned, and destroyed. Anyone found with anything related to MLP would be beaten, and killed. For amusement they would drag bronies out into the streets and throw rocks and stones at them, beat them with bats and drag them from the back of cars. There were still a few left, very very few bronies alive. And an even smaller percentage of them still had some sort of MLP memorabilia with them."
My friend then told me to be quiet, and took me into the basement of this building we have been roaming around. I opened the doors, and it turned out to be a soccer stadium, filled but all the fans were quiet. It was Hungry vs. Germany. It was being televised, and then I realized we have been roaming around the worlds most watched TV headquarters. All the spokesperson within the arena were Korean though. We went to the left, and these two guards stopped us.

During this time, the assassins broke into the secret entrance where all those boxes were. In it they found hundreds of MLP related items, such as plushies, comics, clothing, etc. It then showed them burning everything with a flamethrower in slowmotion, as the head assassins walked down the 2nd secret entrance to the TV headquarters. I gave the box to her, where it would be in safe keeping. She then walked past the guards where it would be held in a vault for safekeeping forever. I told her it was safe to open it once the war was over. I then went into a room alone where there was a phone in the middle. The man at the computer desk was notifying the assassins where my where-a-bouts where, and pointed to the stadium. I took it, and started texting my loved ones, including a bunch of my friends telling them thank you for giving me a great life, and how happy I was to have them be part of my family. My friend opened the box before she put it in safe keeping, and inside of it was a converse pair of shoes, on one was rainbow striped, and on the other was Rainbow Dash's mark. I put down the phone. I woke up.

11/18/2012: I worked in a trailmix factory. I could tell because the guys in Public Relations were M&M's and Peanuts. Our goal was to raise $5 by the end of the year or we would all be fired. Then Brand from Leauge of Legends came out and killed my boss. I continued working. I then was working at Coors. So I plugged in my headphones and then the floor collapsed into cotton-balls.

11/19/2012: All I can remember is something about an old pirate ship. But it was like, in a museum or something? There were tours for kids. Each kid had a taco.

11/20/2012: Can't remember.

11/21/2012: I was skrillex. I found out I was skrillex and got depressed. So I tried committing suicide, but every time that I tried I failed because the gun would turn into a gun made out of gummy-bears. So I started to eat the gun but my fans didn't like it so they brought me a trojan horse. Nothing was inside it. I then played King's Cup and got drunk. There was a hot girl on the couch with me but I was too shy to do anything about it.

11/22/2012: I was a tomato. I could tell because this ugly ass farmer came with massive legs came and picked me from a vine. I tried running away but I couldn't because of the wall of bodies from 300.

11/23/2012: MEGAMON88 THIS IS FOR YOU Okay, so I had a dream that I watched a song of yours you just released, and it went viral and for some reason everyone (being AlexDest, chez_the_guy and FissionMailed) got really jealous of you. THE WEIRD THING IS, YOU THEN RELEASED BABS SEED REMIX. And its becoming a hit. I'm calling it out that it will hit 300k+ hits. Calling it now.

11/24/2012: Every time I told a lie, I would inflate more. I ended up flying away. Kinda was a nightmare.

11/25/2012: Something about playing a basketball game, and it was only me against 5 others. The cops came and started shooting all of us so I decided to go on a shopping spree at Target. I forgot my credit cards though, so I then started to read the Qur'an.

11/26/2012: Everything I touched turned into confetti. But not the good type of confetti, because this kind was scary. Not visually scary but it gave me the creeps. Also they started getting bigger and smaller without doing so, causing me to feel claustrophobic. I did what any man would, I ate my pet pine-tree.

11/27/2012: Traveling on an airplane all night, didn't really sleep.

11/28/2012: Still traveling, don't remember at all. Slept only 4 hours...

11/29/2012: Women were banned from Sweden so they set up refuge camps in my dorm. I took in three of my own, but they were all the size of an iPhone. So I stacked them up on each-other and made pyramids. One wanted sex but I instead played League of Legends.

11/30/2012: I think Slenderman was there. But instead he was blue. And fuzzy. And kind of like kirby. So like a slender-kirby? I guess. Oh, and I had a shotgun but I couldn't use it because of the Australian Aligator next door, who had one, and I didn't want him to think I got it because he had one.

December

12/1/2012: I was climbing some very unsafe metal building with Eddie Murphy, but his teeth kept getting bigger. I got scared and fell. I woke up. O.O Now it's 4am and I cant sleeeeeeeppp....

12/2/2012: I was a creeper in minecraft, and my goal was to kill all humans. However, I rebelled and ran away to find true love. I ended up getting distracted and found a great book on Tacos, or Burritos, or mexican food? I guess? Well when I said 'Taco' it spawned margaritas. So I then chill'd in a bar with some of my IRL friends and drank. But there was no bar. Just stools.

12/3/2012: Kinda fuzzy. I remember Bowser was there. Also it was 'The Voice' show... Could have sworn he was a judge... along with judge judy. I dont know who the other two were. Oh, and I wasn't the singer. I was the camera man.

12/4/2012: So this will be hard to type out... Every elephant that I poked would ricochet off another, and give me points. I got negative points if I was wearing pants. So I went around a zoo avoiding zookeepers and bumblebees trying to poke elephants.

12/5/2012: OKAY SO I CONTROLLED THIS DREAM HARDCORE. I was in my biology class, just chillin like a baws. then the Elites came out and started killing my classmates. I didn't like it, so I made them stop by wanting them to. I came to the realization I was in a dream at this point, so I made them walk away. So they did. I revived just one of the dead kids, and exploded the teacher. I then did something like pushed on my eyes, using my eyes and I woke up. Was cool.

12/6/2012: Cant really remember...

12/7/2012: I learned to fly by whistling. However, I had 4 wings instead of two, which pissed off Harry Potter. He then tricked me into going to play paintball with him, and while we were playing he stole my sofa. I hit him in the face with a bear, then he cried.

12/8/2012: Sex dream -teehee- 'twas good.

12/9/2012: I had to run a marathon, and I was against multiple countries such as Germany, Canada and Wisconsin. I fired a crossbow. Then we raced. But i couldn't really move. I placed something like 700th out of the 3 racers.

12/10/2012: All I can remember was a cactus. One, massive cactus. And it hosted the Republican National Convention. I stood outside and chewed gum with my scooter.

12/11/2012: All I remember was memories were stored as little computer chips, and I remember looking into a bin full of them, being one person. Each memory was good, and bad. It was inhumane I thought. The scientist there said if I told anyone about it, I would die. I then found myself playing basketball with Lebron James, but he wouldn't let me win so I pushed him down a flight of stairs.

12/12/2012: Okay so imagine a peanutbutter monster. Like, made out of peanutbutter. I took one small bite, which happened to be his entire head. (His head was the size of a building) I couldn't breathe, so I went to find some milk. There was a milk river nearby, but I had to jump onto a cloud to get it.

12/13/2012: I remember being outside of a club or something, and what I assume to be the bouncer said "Is he cool?" He turned to the guy standing next to me, and he said yeah. We walked in. Turns out it was a Toys R Us. I went to the arm dispenser and attached a third arm onto my body. Right on my forehead. I then used it to walk, so i was kinda upside down. But then the world turned upside down as well.

12/14/2012: (Didn't sleep. Was playing LoL all night haha)

12/15/2012: I was eating flan while drinking beer in a mexican restaurant. I looked to my left and saw Captain America. The fact that we made eye-contact made him angry, so he slammed his fist into the table. All the items on the table flew up in slow motion. The DJ stopped playing and the ice-cream man got angry, so he started to fight Captain America. I then remember sticking toothpicks in my flan, making a little person out of it.

12/16/2012: Kinda cant remember, it was about large open spaces, but then really small tight spaces, which got me paranoid. There wasn't any true visual but the space was there. Kinda.

12/17/2012: I was playing checkers with a checkerboard. I couldn't stop laughing when I woke up.

12/18/2012: I was in the game 'Animal Crossings' - Walking around, helping my neighbors, going fishing and whatnot. I remember some characters like 'Lobo' 'Ed' and 'Buck' being there. It was by far the most relaxing dream I have had in a while.

12/19/2012: I was on a date with three women. All of them demanded that I finish my taxes before the last Dalek finished it's taco platter or I would die. I tried and tried, but then my taxes burst into flames.

12/20/2012: I was in Team Fortress 2 (TF2) - but nobody was moving. It was like lag, but empty. I remember a table, with a checkered tablecloth. I went to go sit-down and I was eating a pie that would keep regenerating. Apple, I think. I then starting pouring salt on my pie. So much salt. It started flooding everything around me.

12/21/2012: I was a pokemon trainer, in some grassy forest about to fight another pokemon trainer. I sent out Raichu and he sent out Barack Obama. I then immediately started to make clam-chowder out of a near-bye cauldron.

12/22/2012: Cant really remember

12/23/2012: Paining a purple wall... then someone screamed 'Hey!' thats... about it?

12/24/2012: I made a device where every-time someone in the world got a notification on Facebook, my ex-girlfriend would fart. (I seriously need to make this)

12/25/2012: I had to go back in time to help Julius Caesar from stop the war between Little Caesar pizzerias and Orange Julius's around the world. We never could help him because I had to go take tango lessons with my mom. On the plus side, there was a live jazz band preforming at the tango studio. Also the floor was made out of sponges.

12/26/2012: Can't remember

12/27/2012: I was a falcon, fighting the enemy bird game. It was almost like that movie 'Legend of the Guardians' but I wasn't the main character or anything, just a solider.

12/28/2012: Can't remember anything besides the number 51. Something about the number 51 lol.

12/29/2012: I had to chug beer with George Clooney or the earth would explode. There were TV cameras and toasters and party hats everywhere. The toasters were used to store beer for us.

12/30/2012: I was at a Yellow-card concert. They did this cool thing where they turned the audience into colors that would sync with the music they are playing. (Like the guitar would be green, Bass would be red, etc etc) But they were not playing music. It was mute.

12/31/2012: I had one silver coin. It listened to me. It was alive. It wanted to feel love. But then I bought a soda with it. Also taxi's were driving on walls.

[2013]
January

1/1/2013: I had to fight Charlie Brown using poetry. Every word I would speak would age him by a month. He was dead by the time I was done. I then got a kiss on the cheek from Betty White. We then made an alliance to stop the Norwegians from taking over Canada.

1/2/2013: Lady Rainicorn died but I brought her back to life with my fists. Also the walls were made of water, but it was calm and still. If I toughed the water, I would fall in and that wall would become the floor (gravity shifted)

1/3/2013: There was a giant meteor about to crash into earth but it decided not to because I wouldn't sit next to it on the schoolbus. (I think I was like 5 in this dream) There was a kid who was sitting across from me and stared me down, not saying anything but his eyes I remember started to get bigger and bigger each time I looked at him. Also there was no bus driver. In fact, the bus never ended. It went on forever.

1/4/2013: I became a successful DJ and I was about to preform infront of the earth but I couldn't because I forgot my teeth, because I pulled them out five minutes before to impress my pet snake. The snake bit me also.

1/5/2013: I was driving on the express way, and I was apparently speeding or running from something. Every-time I would bump into another car it would go shooting off and flying away forever doing like a million barrel-rolls or something. I looked behind me to see what I was running from, then I appeared in a park having a picnic with George Forman, the guy who sells grills. But he wouldn't talk. He just sat there.

1/6/2013: This one was fuzzy... I remember cotton. Blue cotton. I would jump in it, but one cottonball ended up killing everyone inside the sausage factory. I was blamed, and then put in happy prison. Instead of cells there were Xbox's, Roller-coasters and Asians.

1/7/2013: I became a moose. I then killed myself.

1/8/2013: I was Dr. Who - I had my sonic screwdriver, and when I pointed it to a cheerleaders head, it exploded. I knew the cops were after me so I hid under a table. They couldn't find me but were everywhere. So I sliced their legs off with my hands and was able to get away. Almost. As one of the police officer's (with a bushy mustache) head crashed to the ground, his eyes shot lasers and hit me and I fell over, dead.

1/9/2013: I was making waffles, but my pan was too small. Yes, a frying pan that made waffles. I then sacrificed a chair by throwing it off of my building and it caught fire. I then went back to my stove to find about 60 waffles there, but they were made out of nothing if that makes sense. So they floated away, and my roof didn't exist anymore, so I floated away also after them. But I couldn't catch them... not a single one...

1/10/2013: I had this dream like 2 years ago... but I remember one thing. I was in a supermarket looking at pineapples, then these two scruffy pirate like guys were chasing me in a shopping cart. I had to run because otherwise they would turn me into stone....

1/11/2013: Can't remember

1/12/2013: Can't remember

1/13/2013: I had to eat my teeth or else Thor would eat Brazil. I cried.

1/14/2013: I had wings, but they didn't work. I tried and tried but no mater what I did, nothing would happen. I found myself in the middle of a road, and all these rallycars were coming my way and I couldn't get out. I tried to move but I couldn't. Right before they hit me I woke up.

1/15/2013: Can't remember

1/16/2013: My father died, and I was at his funeral. But he was there with me. It was really spiritual and weird. It was comforting, and I wasn't sad. As I was sitting in a pew, I looked over and saw him. He was laughing, as he was happy, smiling at me. I was happy.

1/17/2013: I was in a safari, like the pokemon safari. I could only step so much before I would get killed. That was the only downside. But it cost like $5 so I couldn't refuse. A wild German appeared, and I tried catching it but I ended up just sitting in a chair in a nightclub.

1/18/2013: I think I might have fallen off of a cruiseship or something, but I was starting to drown, but not really. I then decided to pretend to be dead, then the water disappeared and I found myself in the ER. I wasn't a patient or anything, but I looked over at the doctor who was slamming his hands with a derp face into the human body, blood going everywhere and piano sounds were coming out of it. I then walked outside and was eating a poptart.
----
1/19/2013: I was the king of spiders. But they were chill spiders. Like legit, they played beer pong and smoked weed. I got into a mild fight with one because I forgot to take off my shoes. Spiders take great offense to that.

1/20/2013: I smuggled colors. I... don't know how to even describe this one... Like, I would kill people for colors. I dont understand...

1/21/2013: I was on a spaceship underwater. Our goal was to collect samples of rocks. It would have been great but the Germans kept hiding my clothing. My ex-girlfriend fell down and I laughed.

1/22/2013: Can't remember

1/23/2013: Can't remember

1/24/2013: My son was a shark. He was cute because his eyes were massive. I trained him in the skill of masonry. He became rich and took care of me when I got older. His beard also served coffee. Also I apparently was a gardner.

1/25/2013: So it was my wedding day and I invited godzilla. People thought he was attacking so they opened fire on him. (I mean come on, he was wearing a fucking tux) So godzilla defended himself. He ended up accadently killed the bride, but I was cool with it because he offered me a beer in an irish rugby pub shortly after. And no, godzilla cant handle heavy liquor.

1/26/2013: I played chess with someone. I got angry because I lost. Thats it. Nothing exciting.

1/27/2013: Sex dream. It was funny at first, but good.

1/28/2013: You know that one scene in Finding Nemo where they are riding those turtles in the GAC? Yeah, I was surfing on one of those turtles. I had to go through these rings also, if I got 10 of them I would free a dragon. I ended up learning how to format an external hard-drive at the end of the day after I won all the trophies.

1/29/2013: I was climbing a mountain with my gym coach from middle school, but it started to shake and I fell off, right before I hit the ground I woke up.

1/30/2013: I had to sacrifice my eyes to save my family. Instead of complying, I threw a cat at the switch which free'd my family, and we escaped safely. That was, until they released the bowling-balls. These bowling-balls were heat-seeking missiles. I could block most with my fists, but when I turned around I saw my family was dead.

1/31/2013: Every time I sneezed, a woman would climax. I would prefer to not say any more about this one.

February

2/1/2013: I had to save Finn and Jake from an evil version of themselves. As I was running to save them I found a treasure map. This treasure map located where the nearest Jimmy Johns was. As I was following the map, I realized that the primary path to take kept changing every 10 seconds. I then re-installed the map.exe file at the nearest wall. Turns out I had a virus in my wall. (So you know garrys mod? where you can just fuck around with rag-dolls?) Imagine an old-lady with a walker getting smashed into walls, the ground, and cars sending the cars flying.

2/2/2013: I was building a stove so I can make the worlds best tuna salad. Turns out my arch-nemesis Captain Crunch beat me in making tuna salad. I swore revenge on him by making his wife buy ugly ties for him. We went to JC Penny. I found a tie that used grapes and umbilical cords, so she bought it for him. I then instantly found out I was the worlds best race-car driver. So I went to participate in the Indy 500, however I forgot my car. But it was cool, I had sunglasses. I just ran the whole time. When the race started, my legs didn't work, so I just punched cars and they exploded. I ended up winning due to default. My prize was having intercourse with every woman in the state of California, but then I woke up.

2/3/2013: Something about my blender overflowing with water, and flooding my entire kitchen. That's about it.

2/4/2013: Can't remember

2/5/2013: I was in a pokemon battle with Obama. However I was the pokemon. Obama chose the bulldozer-pokemon. I swoop-de-woop and exploded the bulldozer and obama in one shot, along with every fan who was sitting in the stadium behind Obama. I then brushed my teeth and got ready for school.

2/6/2013: I made chocolate for a living. I had the best chocolate in the world. Then I simply just forgot how to make chocolate. I then tied my shoes, which were snakes. One bit me and I died slowly.

2/7/2013: Can't remember

2/8/2013: Was up all night. Didn't dream.

2/9/2013: I went to BronyCon where I met a few people in Team Pony, such as Goldstinger, FissionMailed and AlexDest. However, Goldstinger kept catching himself on fire, and nobody helped him because we all thought it was funny. While going through all the different booths, the ground split, and mostly everyone fell to their death. I found this no excuse and demanded the convention to continue. The head convention people with big white mustaches agreed and the convention continued. I then found Shakira practicing knitting. I then made out with Shakira, then put on a jetpack and flew away. It was pretty damn epic. Until of course my jetpack ran out of fuel and I fell to my death.

2/10/2013: My finger was a magical wond. I apparently was in Hogwarts, but I can tell it was fake due to how badly the building was made. Like, half of it was just painted cardboard. Also none of the elvators worked. Being so mad, I then kicked a stone and then hundreds of Elton John's came out. Due to the large increase of population at the school, the lunch lady couldn't serve everyone, so we used the extra Elton Johns as food. The thing was, the lunch lady didnt kill them. She just put Elton John's on a plate. I remember precisely there were 20 sitting on 20 plates, singing with each-other as kids took em to be eaten.

2/11/2013: I owned Rapidash. I didn't want anyone else to know she existed so I moved to Texas and opened up a small farm so nobody would find her. There was some guy in a suit trying to sell me something like turnips, or radishes, and I killed him because he couldnt find out. The police came instantly, like in GTA, but I just entered a cheat code and they instantly stopped.

2/12/2013: Something about how I was the last man on earth. It was cool, because I got a jet because of it. Also, I got taught how to color correctly

2/13/2013: Whenever I would clap, everything in the area from which I clapped got squished together. This dream really messed with my mind, because I was breaking every depth perception rule. It was way more confusing then I could even comprehend...

2/14/2013: Something about becoming a fish and swimming north to Canada. That's about it.

2/15/2013: I played guitar for the first time, and with every strum I killed a man. I didn't know till everyone in the world was dead. I got sad, so I made some lemonade. I then called the cops but nobody responded. So then I went to the Rockies game, where there were a bunch of people somehow. I realised this, and thought it wasn't fair for these guys to live when nobody else could, so I took my guitar, put my hand in the air, and then played Tetris on my laptop. I tried to get a really high score but I couldn't because the L pieces were douchbags.

2/16/2013: Can't remember

2/17/2013: I was at the world championships for FFR, but I was placed in D2. So I had a good chance. SayUncle was there, and it was just us 2 in the finals. However, it wasnt actually SayUncle. It was a dolphin. Because dolphins dont have fingers, I was able to win.

2/18/2013: I secretly bought Apple for something like $600. However, I was scammed, and accidentally bought an actual apple instead of the company. But the joke was on him, because inside the apple was Pandoras Box. I sold that on ebay for like $25 and bought a used game for it. I think I bought Spyro or something.

2/19/2013: I was a DJ at one of the worlds most exclusive clubs. Everyone was there from The Ninja Turtles to ACDC. All I had to do was press play on my macbook and pretend like I was doing things. Turned out it worked, and I got the key to the city of Boston. Everything was going great, but then Sweden invaded. I picked up a gun, but then the buddy next to me kept telling me to aim down my scope so I hit him with a traffic cone.

2/20/2013: I was detained by border patrol. But the border patrol people were really trees. Who talked slowly. So pretty much the entire dream was in slow motion, and because of that gravity didnt really exist either.

2/21/2013: I was using my computer, but the icons were moving around all weird. Every time they would colide, a water-dropplet effect would come out of them, making a noise that i couldnt hear. It was weird. I guess I was doing homework? I'm not sure.

2/22/2013: My feet were replaced by a group of deer. I guess the best way to describe this is that it was a birds-eye view of a bunch of them running, and im controlling them. I sent them off a cliff, but then we flew over an ocean, into the clouds. We then landed in a forest of some sort, but when we got there the trees were made of glass. Glass so fragile, that the slightest tough would cause them to shatter. I then breathed on one, and it painted it red. It was a really cool artistic dream.

2/23/2013: Can't remember

2/24/2013: Up all night. Didn't sleep at all.

2/25/2013: I was Blitzcrank, in League of Legends. For those who don't know what Blitzcrank is, its a huge robot with an arm that extends and pulls an enemy toward him. I used this arm to kill a Katarina, and then I made pasta using it. However, while making this pasta, my arm randomly shot off and went through the table, busting a pipe causing the apples on my counter to run in fear.

2/26/2013: I was watching Blue Man Group. I got scared because one of their heads got really big. So I hid in my chair, and i became one with the chair, becoming really small and hiding inside of it. I then kept digging and found a gold coin.

2/27/2013: Something about being on a beach. That's about it?

2/28/2013: I found a new type of car, hidden within the ancient Aztec ruins. A car made of solid rock. I used it to race in Nascar, and I dominated my opponents in the first half, until I ran out of gas, and Nascar didn't have any rock gas. So I got upset and pushed a little kid.

March

3/1/2013: I was on the death star, right before it exploded. There were lasers flying everywhere, but I chilled. When the death star exploded, everything exploded around me, but I didnt explode. I was safe due to a magic bubble that Patric Stewart blew for me.

3/2/2013: Can't remember

3/3/2013: I found out that people really were nothing more then water when I poked them. The second I would do so, they would burst like a water balloon. This was great, until I realized how bad it was. It would only work on humans, and not animals, with the acception of my companion, Michael Felps, but a really tiny version of him. He would give me advice on what to do incase of a zombie apocalypse, which I find irrelevant since there were no zombies during the time.

3/4/2013: I forgot how to DDR and I was showing all my friends. It was so embarrassing. They were laughing. They said I looked so stupid that they could no longer be friends with me. So they made friends with a group of cheerleaders instead. fml.

3/5/2013: Kinda cant remember... I remember looking at clam chowder soup. That's it.

3/6/2013: I was dancing with this really really REALLY attractive girl at a local club in Denver. We danced all night, I bought her a few drinks and we mingled. We ended up making out and doing some hardcore dirty dancing. She then turned out to be a t-rex. While everyone was scared, I just asked if she still likes me, she said yes then we got married right there.

3/7/2013: My family and I were waiting at an airport. I think TSA or something was causing the long lines. However, I remember in particular me and my sister played the "PENIS" game, but instead of saying penis we used the word "BOMB" - Nobody seemed to notice, or care for that matter. I then started to climb a latter, but then I fell off.

3/8/2013: Can't remember....

3/9/2013: Up all night. No dreams today!

3/10/2013: I owned a cocoanut farm. But they acted like cows. So they would roll over and eat oats or hay or whatever the hell cows eat. I then went to go farm some land, so I punched the land as hard as I could and it was instantly fertilized. I was so happy I did it again and it set everything on fire, and lava cam bursting from the ground. Me and my sister grabbed surf-boards and proceeded to rive the lava waves.

3/11/2013: I became best friends with Keanu Reeves. The dream consisted of literally NOTHING but us sitting on a sofa, eating pizza and watching scrubs. I think I was drunk? Not sure.

3/12/2013: I was taking an exam for my spanish class. I then left the exam, and found myself taking the spanish exam again, like it was on a broken loop. I remember looking at the clock, but the clock said "Perree Station"

3/13/2013: My arms were tentacles, and I could climb walls with them. The walls however became the floor, and the world shifted accordingly. Due to this change, I started laughing. Then I looked up in the sky, and noticed a bird flying into the sun. It caused the sun to explode. Shortly after, a new sun appeared. But this time, the sun throbbed. So I proceeded to walk down a street that had no end. I found a homeless man on the side of the road, but when I asked if he needed anything he proceeded to eat himself. As in, he disappeared.

3/14/2013: I owned about 600 cats. So many cats, that it was literally a tilde wave of cats. Instead of ocean sounds, you can hear their meows. I was confused by this, so I went to the beach. But I never got there, because I got arrested at Ben & Jerry's for making out with their employees.

3/15/2013: I was waiting for something to start, but I can't remember what. I just remember that I really really wanted whatever it was to start. The weird thing was, I kinda remember the hunger games clock in it. But it wasn't the hunger games.

3/16/2013: Can't remember

3/17/2013: I could change the way traffic went with my mind. I could throw cars up in the sky, and replace them with better cars. How they were better I know not, but the way it felt seemed right. Also, there was a panda smoking weed. She offered me some, but I told her weed was bad and punched her in the boob.

3/18/2013: Doritos became banned due to how sharp they were. So I made a profit by smuggling Doritos into the United States. People would pay me in pillows, because my goal was to have the worlds largest pillow fort.

3/19/2013: I was farming potatoes, but all I could farm was gold. I got so angry at this that I ended up taking a plank of wood and smashing the hell out of the letter S, who just happened to be there. I then looked at its crippled body, and then got worried what Elmo would think. I never ran into Elmo, because I went to the moon in my bathing suit. It's cold up there.

3/20/2013: As weird as this sounds, I was a battery being placed into a remote, but I was too big and wouldn't fit. I was being jammed in there so hard, I started screaming. I then broke in half. It was some scary shit.

3/21/2013: I was in one of my Film classes, but turns out for one of our assignments we had to kill each-other. Nobody wanted to go first so I slapped the girl next to me who then went through the wall. I apparently followed her as she floated away into space. But it wasn't really space, because it was kinda like she was stuck in jello. I thought it would be a good idea to steal her leg and sell it on the black market somewhere in somalia (i think)

3/22/2013: I was at a Colorado Rockies game. I was eating popcorn with my date, then it turned into a nightmare. This is hard to explain, but just imagine wherever I looked, Billy Mays was there. Just one of him, staring at me with massive eyes and that smile he does. The second I see him it was like the slenderman sound. I would look away, and back and he would be closer. I tried running away, and ended up falling off the stadium. I started to fall forever in an endless pit, when I hit the ground I woke up.

3/23/2013: I had a pet ber. He was nice and soft. His fur was also soft. I had a dream about sleeping. Okay.

3/24/2013: Can't really remember. All I remember was that I was on the internet, trying to find out where the earthquake was.

3/25/2013: I stole my grandmother's wheelchair. I attached a rocket-ship to it, and traveled across america with it. As we were flying down the highway, every car that we passed collided with it and went flying in some random direction.

3/26/2013: I was having a gun-fight in a field of solar-panels. I feel like this was from a movie or something. However, things were kinda slowmotion, but not really. It depended if i shot my gun or not. Also, the mexican guy who ran the kinko's next door was telling me to stop, because I was scaring away his harvest of baby ink-cartridges for the winter.

3/27/2013: I was inside of a beach ball, and was being thrown around at a night concert. They had paint that was being thrown on the audience. I then met this girl, she said hi then we made out. I then took acid with her. We then were carried away to the endless pit of people, who were also raving.

3/28/2013: Can't remember

3/29/2013: I had to create a zombie, or else the president would die in the hands of my spanish teacher. So I took some apples and threw them at the stove. This caused the stove to catch on fire. I then learned the ability to turn my hand into a knife. So I chopped down a building with one quick blow. But it ended up being a bad thing because this elderly couple who lived inside died. I was so sad, that I tried to help them. But I forgot they were dead. I then found myself playing Poker. But there were no poker chips. Just tiny couches.

3/30/2013: I was in the Lord of the Rings movie. I guess I was Frodo, because everyone kept telling me to kill the last pony on earth. I looked over at the captive and saw it was actually AlexDest. I then went in the cage with him and made a step-chart with him. Turns out he hated our file so he stabbed me, then immediately continued to work on the file. I kinda then sank through the floor, which turned into a sandwich. And I was in that sandwich. But the sandwich was made of plastic. And I was in some sort of kids playpen in the center of a mall. And I think I was 2 years old or something then because I could only crawl. Then the kid in front of me started vomiting so much, that it acted as a jetpack and then he went away somewhere. I then found a raffel ticket on the floor but it didnt mean anything to me.

April

4/1/2013: I was flying in the air, but the speed of me doing so changed very rapidly. Every cloud I hit caused notes to come out, and create some weird Moomba-Core type thing. I then remember a bear sitting on a sofa drinking tea, but there was no tea in the cup so he was very confused.

4/2/2013: All I remember is me being in a spelling bee, and I got the word "Warturtle" and I began saying the letter X over and over again. I then found myself in Russia selling bagels to a man with a very tiny head. His head then got progressively larger until I gave up and turned into a Republican.

4/3/2013: I was playing Team Fortress 2, and I think I was the medic. I could never die though, so I ran around till I got bored and played with a barrel. When I hit this barrel it would shrink suddenly, then began to float away. I cried shortly, then the pyro started dancing with his arms breaking, like a typical G-mod video.

4/4/2013: So I was about to have sex with this really really attractive girl in my spanish class. I was really excited, and she was totally into me. We were on a couch watching a movie, then she asked if I wanted to go upstairs. I then simply replied "No, sorry I'm dreaming right now". She got confused, and I remember her saying "what" so I walked into the wall which ended up being being a portal into a super mario game. I then played chess with Prince William of Orange of the Dutch. He talked to me in sign language though, and when I tried to respond to him Daft Punk kept playing from my mouth.

4/5/2013: The word "Big Bounce" was in big bright red letters above this club. It was night, however I feel like I was in that new tron movie. I walked in, only to find a bunch of pokemon trainers battling. But it was a club so people were dancing around the battles. I was sad because I didn't have any pokemon on me, so I stole a poliwag from one guy. But it turned out to be nothing more then a chewy candy.

4/6/2013: Imaging an ocean of blood coming from an old chinese man's nipples. That's all I wanna say about that....

4/7/2013: Up all night. No dreams tonight!

4/8/2013: I rescued a minecraft creeper from the UK government. Why I was in the UK I have no idea. However, Denmark (Which turned into an army of ponies) attempted to capture me. I hid in a tree, by becoming a tree. Sadly, there were dogs who could tell if tree's were real or not. I tried running but then I remembered that tree's could not run, for they have no legs. I fell over and got run over by a bunch of racecars.

4/9/2013: I was playing the piano at a bar. It went nice, I had a few drinks, chatted with a few buddies and played some uplifting music. Thats it. No plot. Just piano.

4/10/2013: I was on a TV show, kinda like a mix between 'The Hunger Games' and 'Iron Chef' where I had to cook some exotic dish without being killed. Robert Ervine tried to stab me with a harpoon, but luckily for me it was going in slow-motion so I dodged it, and it hit Jack Black. Because Jack Black was so fat, his stomach bounced around for a bit before he exploded into confetti. But it wasn't just confetti. For some reason I couldn't touch it because it was really razors with mean ants on it. One of the ants jumped on me, grew really big suddenly and bit my whole hand off.

4/11/2013: I was writing a check to someone in prison. I was doing this because they stole my 8-bit sause maker. (I don't know what it is, I just kept saying it) I looked in the jail cell next to me, and I saw Warwick (From League of Legends). I asked why he was there, and all he said was "I'm batman" and wouldn't move. I then found some chocolate in my pocket in my pants. But it melted before I could eat it. I punched the ceiling right before my eye fell out. Then I saw this weird duel-vision thing, but not really. (If that makes sense) like I could see two things at once while still only see'n one thing. I then went walking. I kept walking till I fell backwards and woke up.

4/12/2013: I was at a house party and I was apparently the stripper, but I forgot how to strip. People got really angry at me and demanded to that I play racquetball with them or they would stab me. I simply put my hands on my butt and shouted "HAH" and then shrunk really small till I was no bigger then a penny. Apparently they then lost interest in me. The table turned into a desert where I was driving a car like you would see in those commercials. But I ran over 'Boo' from Monsters Inc and my car said "Fuck you" and tossed me out. It then picked up a machine gun and shot me somehow. But the bullets didn't hurt. They were calm, and smooth. Calm bullets? I dunno.

4/13/2013: Can't remember

4/14/2013: Totally forgot to write it down, and I forgot most of it. Something with whales. And I was riding them. That's about it.

4/15/2013: I was smashing bricks with my face. But I didn't actually hit the bricks, because I made a secret deal with the bricks so they would break before I would even hit them. I then baked some brownies but I ran out of milk so I used black tar. I then fed it to a dog who started speaking Italian. I knew it was italian because I asked him if he was speaking Italian, which he simply winked at me then turned into a chair. I sat on this chair, and before I could do anything else I was stuck there forever in an empty white void of nothing with this chair. I then found a toothpick. But I didn't know what to do with it.

4/15/2013: I was a hard-drive. Like, legit. An external hard-drive. I said "beep" "boop" "beeeeep" whenever people came close. I guess I was in a store or something?

4/16/2013: One of those dreams where you are climbing something and then you fall off and wake up. I was climbing the Eiffel Tower made of straws.

4/17/2013: I had to sell a pitcher of paint to my boss. It was like a life goal to me. I started laughing uncontrollably when I attempted to do so though. Also I wasn't really selling it to my boss because he was really a cellphone made of chocolate. So I peeled him slowly and started to eat him. I had a massively large tongue.

4/18/2013: Can't remember

4/19/2013: I was in a murder mystery movie, but the camera was never on me. I was sad about this, so I decided to do the only thing I knew how to do. Kill everyone. I took a massive wrench made of hot-sause and lava and started to beat people with it. Each hit immediately caused the dream to go into slow-motion for just a few seconds. The cops were angry at me so I said sorry. They forgave me and gave me a box of cookies. I dont really remember what kind of cookies they were because I rigged them with explosives and fed them to people at the local Gym.

4/20/2013: Slenderman and I became best friends after I found out he enjoyed sushi. Also, he was really just a tall black guy with a massive afro. I called him Robin Williams. He didn't seem to like it.

4/21/2013: Can't remember.....

4/22/2013: I was a tiger. I walked around downtown and didn't give a single fuck. Like if #yoloswag #douchebag existed, I was that guy for this day. I also wore these massive shades that made me not be able to see anything. Then suddenly it was night, and I was trying to find the missing Taco for Invader Zim. He just told me to go play in my room, so I did. But I never got to my room, the stairs went forever.

4/23/2013: I really really tried to make a sandwich... I can't really remember what else happened...

4/24/2013: Up all night again

4/25/2013: I was in the game "Civ 5" - the dream was pretty much just gameplay of the game. Nothing out of the ordinary.

4/26/2013: Each ballon I would pop would cause a child to be born. So I went on this balloon popping spree. After popping about 6, my entire garage was filled with babies. I didn't know what to do so I threw a grilled cheese in the center for them to eat. I remember taking a nap (in the dream lolz) and waking up to find out that I took a plane ride over to Hawaii to go see Berry (.Rarity). However, he was really nothing more then a cat made of stone. I was quite disappointed, so I pushed him over. I said sorry afterward, then raided his fridge.

4/27/2013: I joined a sorority. I was secretly a man and nobody knew. On the first day, they all had to read about 10 books on cooking and cleaning. I laughed so hard when I woke up.

4/28/2013: I was in pokemon red. I was on a bike, then I went into lavender town. I found a pokeball but I couldn't open it because my 'dream' i guess ran out of batteries and crashed. But it's okay, because I saved apparently. But not really, because it was all glitched out. I dunno this one is hard to explain.

4/29/2013: Shapes. Like shapes getting bigger and smaller. They didn't exist but they were there. Bigger, and smaller. Kinda. Not really. Ish. You know?

4/30/2013: Can't remember

May

5/1/2013: I was in a library working on some homework to study for midterms or finals or a test or something. This cute girl game over and I said hi to her. Without thinking she picked up the table and hit the guy behind me with hit. I was so turned on I asked her to open up a doughnut shop with me. She said yes, then we walked outside. I was in Badlands National park. I then saw a bee, which tried to sting me. I simply told it "No". It said "Okay" with a speech bubble then proceeded to go to sleep. Little Z's came out of it. I then tried to dig to china but gave up after 3 seconds realizing I was trying to dig into rock.

5/2/2013: I was a building. I hated the building next to me so I toppled over on top of it. People fell out of me. I don't even know lol.

5/3/2013: The Trololo guy. He was in my dream!!! He just did his singing thing. I sat there and watched. It was like a concert but the only people in the audience was me and Duff Man.

5/4/2013: I was in the Jury of a court. We were trying to figure out what an egg looked like. The dream was pretty much a huge montage. There wasn't any music though which made it boring. I then decided to sing loudly and I got kicked out because I was being annoying. But I didn't really get kicked out because I became the judge. I looked at my desk and just saw I was making lots of hang-man games with myself.

5/5/2013: Can't remember

5/6/2013: I was a wild dragonite in the wild. I was hiding in some tall grass. I ate an apple. I then saw some feet, so I hid. I then proceeded to eating the apple. I just remember how good that apple was.

5/7/2013: I was a monster-truck driver. I drove over a bunch of Gandalf's from Lord of the Rings. They didn't seem to mind though, because they were getting paid in dirt. My monster truck was red, and had a sticker of Billy Mays on the back, to protect me from bats that might try to hurt me. I never saw any bats though.

5/8/2013: Up all night. No dream.

5/9/2013: Something about me just being so tired of all the volcanos that didn't want to explode. I asked them why they didn't want to, and they replied with something like "Nuuuuuuhhhhhhh". After one would say that, they all would. They then bowed to me and did a little proper dance with themselves. I then encased on of the mountains in copper to teach the others a lesson, and once I did I found out I got a C- on my midterm. I simply laughed it off and took a train to Texas to find out about some mystal orb that was in a local Dennys. I returned to the Dennys before I got to Texas, and slapped a waitress in the face demanding why she wasn't purple.

5/10/2013: Totally was a gay shark. I was a gay shark. I was trying to buy shoes and cheap drinks but there were no stores or clubs underwater. I didn't mind though. I just chilled with Colin Mochrie as he told me a bedtime story.

5/11/2013: Can't remember.

[Xiz]

This video is a good insight on 'Dreams' in general - and a good lock into analyzing my dreams. Somewhat. Kinda.

[jprox445]

not gonna read all of them in one sitting but I have very much enjoyed the few I have read already.

Keep at it Vince :P

[LongGone]

Brilliant log, love reading these

Hopefully would motivate more people (incl myself) to write a dream diary too haha

[Ohaider]

I really wish I dreamed that much haha.

[FissionMailed1]

Dafuq did I just read o.O

EDIT: Please post more of these.

[Xx{Midnight}xX]

certainly a good funny read

but some of these are just ****ing out there

[Darkomni]

oh my god please continue logging these are gold

[Xiz]

October Week 1:

10/1/2012: I was in a Nascar race. There were loopdeeloop's on the track but we were badass and didn't care. Also, my rival was Lightning McQueen from Cars. But he didn't really do anything besides just say quotes from Sonic the hedgehog. I then became a mobster where we sold lobsters for currency. We fished for them with our fists. There was also a very tiny porcupine that I had in my pocket but he was kinda a dick.

10/2/2012: I appeared to be in some sort of haunted house. In order to summon the Horse Ghost (who owned the mansion) I had to play the Pokemon bicycle theme from my radio hand. The batteries ran out of my hand and the horse ghost got pissed because I ruined his grand summoning entrance. He then decided to not invite me to his quesadilla party but I attended anyway. Oh, it also was a masquerade quesadilla party.

10/3/2012: Canada invaded Russia. Canada's mother was insulated by a drunk Russian at a bar. Then there was a pool party filled with cheetos. It went great till a kid drowned in it. We then sent a search party using submarines and scuba-divers but when we got down there we found a briefcase with some lawyers. We stole their briefcase but never opened it.

10/4/2012: I had to decide between what fruit would be the next contestant on 'the price is right' - I ended up pushing down the walls of the gameshow stage with my head. I also stole the motorcycle prize, a monkey and a very tiny hat.

10/5/2012: I had to fight my father with pots and pans, also there was a drug dealer chick who crashed my party. So I ran her over with car inside the house. Everyone loved it so people bought me shots in my own house. I then went to play a real life version of minesweeper, but instead of bombs it exploded people with depression. So people were depressed for the rest of their lives instead of blowing up from bombs.

10/6/2012: #1: It started with Deep Space 9 spinning out of control then splitting into two, and one half exploding killing half of my crew. I had to go fight a war against the republicans, so I had to gather up my troops. Everyone who died on the half of the ship that exploded was stuck in limbo, and could had to wait 10 years to get into heaven or hell. However, because I was in need of troops, they all agreed to come help me fight, knowing that if they died one more time they would no longer have a soul. They made weapons that included weapons such as a spork attached to a toothpick, a pillow dipped in hot sause, and a bar-stool leg that had too many splinters. I was honored they would fight with me, but I got distracted and played Excitebike and didn't fight the war.

I then woke up. It's the weekend so I fell back asleep, for dream #2

10/6/2012: #2: I worked at like a costco or big chain supermarket or something. I was hoping to get a discount so i put all the chocolate in the store in my cart. I then found myself in a car chase, where my supermarket turned into a car and I was chasing this black BMW. We ran 5 stop-signs and i threw up every time I ran a stop sign. My car crashed into a rodeo where I spent the rest of the night swing-dancing. I found myself as the entertainment telling a story using two candles, and how they moved into college together and fell in love. (During this time, the MLPs2 finale 'Love in Bloom' intro part of that song was playing. I realized how stupid my story was so I just said "then everybody died, the end" - the one kid in the audience gave me a C. His name was Nesquick.

[Xiz]

October Week 2:

10/7/2012: I was ice skating with a bunch of my friends. Nothing exciting there. I then found myself filming an african tribal dance in slowmotion, because people from Ethiopia were the first in the world to figure out how to live in slow motion. As I was filming this, my film crew consisted of John Stewart from the Daily show, and the mean shrub from adventure time. Also my camera had a compartment to hold jelly beans. Some other stuff happened, then I found myself doing dishes in an asian restaurant.

10/8/2012: It was kind of like the movie 'Holes' where I was looking for buried treasure, but just to make sure the government wouldn't loose me they put house-arrest bracelets on my feet. I found lots of bullets that I threw at people. I then calculated air. But failed.

10/9/2012: It started off as an airplane passenger dream, and how the airplane thought it would be a great idea to fly 10 feet from the ground, nocking over telephone poles and whatnot. I then found myself on an island similar to the dead island game, but before the zombies. I then murdered most of my friends one by one, because their bodies were made of coleslaw. The government didn't really care I was murdering everyone because I distracted them with scrabble. I then decided to open up a twix factory but instead we made sushi.

10/10/2012: Something about two girls wanting me to play DDR with me. But instead I drove my car down a few flights of stairs.

10/11/2012: I had three pet dogs, whose noses were knives. They were wearing red capes. One of the capes on one dog got stuck on a door, and some female dog helped get it off. Then they proceeded to have sex. As they were doing so, they floated away into space. WHY ARE DOGS HAVING SEX IN MY DREAMS? GTFO. Also, I became a mechanic, fixing things like the engineer in TF2 by hitting things with a wrench. So I made a stove and a racecar.

10/12/2012: I was a traffic cone with herpes. I knew because my Doctor, Professor Hippo told me. (He was a hippo) I then got ran over by a wagon. There was a grasshopper who was eating me.

10/13/2012: I caught on fire whenever I ate an apple. I used this to my advantage by defeating the evil toasters of Babylon. Luckly I was about 500 feet bigger then them so it wasn't much of a fight to begin with. Anyway, I became friends with a talking stop-sign who thought I was ugly. I used my friend to get into nightclubs, and wouldn't return his phone-calls.

[jductape]

Originally Posted by Xiz

I realized how stupid my story was so I just said "then everybody died, the end" - the one kid in the audience gave me a C. His name was Nesquick.

Hahaha

[Kibblre]

8/7/2012: Sex dream. Not talking about it.

Talk about it.

[top]

Can you lucid dream?

[Xiz]

Originally Posted by Kibblre

8/7/2012: Sex dream. Not talking about it.

Talk about it.

Think of the most unattractive you have met, and then screw them. But there were props. It was like that.

Originally Posted by top

Can you lucid dream?

Sometimes. Very very infrequently. Only 3-5 times a year apparently. And usually when it's a nightmare-ish dream

[bmah]

I love this. Keep on going!

[Razor]

lol what kind of pills do you take before going to sleep

[jprox445]

Possible Dreams sub-forum in the near future?

[bmah]

Haha, no. But it's very interesting nevertheless.

[AlexDest]

Originally Posted by Xiz

October Week 2:

10/10/2012: Something about two girls wanting me to play DDR with me. But instead I drove my car down a few flights of stairs.

i about choked on my pizza

[EzExZeRo7497]

Holy shit lmfao