Old 09-20-2008, 03:26 AM   #1
badman7772
It happens for a reason.
Retired StaffFFR Veteran
 
badman7772's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: North Carolina
Age: 34
Posts: 5,622
Default Relationships for dummies!

I know there's another sticky about this but I think this one is more in depth. Here goes. I'll delete this 1st part if it get stickied.

Ok so I'm gonna make an advice thought on how to get into a relationship and how to detect cheating and what not. Here goes!

Ok so your probably at school and you've met some hottie in a class and your shy because you think she is way above your level and you probably can't have her. This is how you approach her.

1st of all you wanna assume you wanna make just a new friend. Never assume she's gonna be your mate. Say hi and try to get to know her. If she says she has a boyfriend, your shots at her heart are already over. Well your talking to her so mid as well make a new friend.

If she's single and says she's seeking while your talking to her, talk to her as if you don't want her. Most importantly, don't flirt! If you do flirt, she'll suspect it and she'll just walk away. If she flirts back, then go ahead but don't make it too much yet.

After the conversation's over, go ahead and ask for her number if you can. I'm sure she'll give it to you. If you get her number, I'll strongly suggest calling her that night or whenever. If she calls you, that's cool too. I promise that you will be talking to her for hours trying to get to know her. When I got my 1st ex's number, she called and the conversation lasted from 10PM til 2AM nonstop.

After that, you'll probably meet in class again. You'll probably talk to her more and start telling jokes and what not. If you 2 talk on the phone that night, this is when you can go for it. Ask her on a date on like a Friday or Saturday night. If she says yes, you've scored a date! Good job!

Now for the date! The most common date is the movie and dinner date. It is rather sweet and romantic to do that though. My suggestion is the arcade and skating if you can. Try mini-golf too! If you really wanna take the girl for a good meal, I suggest going somewhere like Chili's or Logans or any kind of restaurant like that. As for the movie, a movie that BOTH of you will like. For my date a while back, I took her to see The Simpsons Movie. She absolutely loved it! It's your job as a guy to give the girl a good time!

If you happen to get lucky (which you will), you'll probably get rewarded with a kiss. This will probably mean that she really likes you and she wants to move to the next step! As the guy, this is the time to ask her to be your girlfriend!

If she says yes, congratulations! Your days of being single are over! You have scored a nice girl and I wish you the best of luck!

Now we need to cover the relationship! So you 2 are now going out. That makes you the P I M P! Anyways, you are now going through what's called the honeymoon stage. This stage is about the fact that all you think about is her. This stage will last on an average of 2 weeks. Your conversations in person and on the phone are gonna be more fruity and a lot of "I love you's" coming out of both of you. When you 2 hang out, you 2 will probably be holding each other's hands and probably cuddling while walking. Hugs will turn to holds and a kiss leads to making out.

Money wise, I hope you 2 can manage it very well. It should be even based. Alot of times it's the guy ALWAYS buying the girl the food. It's ok to do that but not all the time. As the guy, your the boss! Don't let her control your money or yourself. You have the right to say no and I suggest you exercise it.

Do not be a strict boss. If she has to do something then let her do it. Let her feel free and be able to do anything. Same for yourself. Make sure she respects you and what you do. If she doesn't, why in the world are you with her?

Later in the relationship, either you or her will probably want sex. All I will say is, that is up to you. If your ready, ok then! Go for it! If your not, she better understand. If not, dump her! If you ARE going to have sex, make sure you use a condom! If you don't it's your child when she gets pregnant.

Cheating is NOT ok! If your girl happens to find another guy that she likes and is trying to get a date, you better take action immediately and get into what she's doing! If she IS cheating on you, just break up with her. If she says that's her best guy friend, it means it's her boyfriend and she just let you in! She doesn't even love you enough to even stick with just you so it's not worth trying to fight for her back. If she likes him better, let her go.

Breaking up is the saddest part of it. If you dumped her, she'll be crying for a while knowing that her heart's broken. If she dumps you, she might feel bad but your gonna be so depressed that day. Getting over it takes a day or 2. After that, it's a memory and you cherish the good moments you 2 have had. Now try to seek another girl that you know won't leave you. It may take a while (13 months and counting for me) but it'll be worth it. Everyone will find the love of their life one day. You'll never know who it'll be.
badman7772 is offline  
Old 09-20-2008, 04:42 AM   #2
who_cares973
FFR Player
 
who_cares973's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: :U
Age: 35
Posts: 15,407
Send a message via AIM to who_cares973 Send a message via MSN to who_cares973 Send a message via Yahoo to who_cares973 Send a message via Skype™ to who_cares973
Default Re: Relationships for dummies!

use bold to seperate sections and stuff

headers and yea

colors and yea
__________________
who_cares973 is offline  
Old 09-20-2008, 05:13 AM   #3
Grandiagod
FFR Player
 
Grandiagod's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Feaefaw
Age: 35
Posts: 6,122
Send a message via AIM to Grandiagod Send a message via MSN to Grandiagod
Default Re: Relationships for dummies!

This thread reeks with the stench of virginity.
Grandiagod is offline  
Old 09-20-2008, 06:00 AM   #4
TheRapingDragon
A car crash mind
FFR Veteran
 
TheRapingDragon's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Age: 36
Posts: 9,788
Default Re: Relationships for dummies!

Quote:
Ok so your probably at school and you've met some hottie in a class and your shy because you think she is way above your level
Already you've alienated most of the base here by assuming:

1) Their age / location
2) The type of person they are after.

Don't generalise so much.

Quote:
and you probably can't have her.
What if she's below me and I can have her but I'm still nervous. Think outside the box.

Quote:
1st of all you wanna assume you wanna make just a new friend. Never assume she's gonna be your mate. Say hi and try to get to know her.
Why must I make friends with her? Can't I just ask her if she fancies going for a drink some time? Why must we make small talk?

Quote:
If she says she has a boyfriend, your shots at her heart are already over.
What if the boyfriend's a loser and I'm a better guy and what if she wants me what do I do help.

Quote:
Well your talking to her so mid as well make a new friend.
No thanks. I want to sleep with her, not be her gay friend while she talks about how her dick of a boyfriend tried to stick it in her ass last night.

Quote:
If she's single and says she's seeking while your talking to her
She's seeking? Heat seeking? Seeking heat? How exactly would it even get around to this, you explain nothing. So a random conversation will turn to her saying she's single. Thanks sherlock.

Quote:
talk to her as if you don't want her. Most importantly, don't flirt! If you do flirt, she'll suspect it and she'll just walk away.
So I have to pretend to want to be her friend and don't flirt. Right, how exactly am I going to make this girl know I like her? All my signs are saying "I don't want you". That's a stupid approach.

Quote:
If she flirts back, then go ahead but don't make it too much yet.
Why would she flirt "back" if I hadn't initiated flirting in the first place (according to you). Wouldn't this just be her flirting first.

Quote:
After the conversation's over, go ahead and ask for her number if you can. I'm sure she'll give it to you.
Ya, I can imagine:

"Hi there, how are you?"
"I'm good, did I mention how I'm single?"
"Oh really, oh ok, well I'm your friend"
"Thanks"
"Can I have your number?"
"Uh, why?"
"Because we're friends?"
"I have enough friends thanks, bye"
"Oh...bye."

THAT WORKED.

Quote:
If you get her number, I'll strongly suggest calling her that night
So we go from happy go lucky friends to DESPERATE HAVE TO CALL HER NOW.

Quote:
or whenever.
You have no clue.

Quote:
If she calls you, that's cool too.
She never took my number. I only took hers, you never said to get hers! Oh god I'm screwed.

Quote:
I promise that you will be talking to her for hours trying to get to know her.
Do you know why, because we're now her gay best friend. Well done!

Quote:
When I got my 1st ex's number
Ex for a reason I'm sure.

Quote:
she called and the conversation lasted from 10PM til 2AM nonstop.
!!

Quote:
After that, you'll probably meet in class again. You'll probably talk to her more and start telling jokes and what not.
Oh I have to tell jokes and be funny, when did this happen? I don't have any classes with her. I'm not in school. She's 20 years older than me. What about all these variables?

Quote:
If you 2 talk on the phone that night, this is when you can go for it. Ask her on a date on like a Friday or Saturday night. If she says yes, you've scored a date! Good job!
Obvious guy gets knocked back. "Hey want to go on a date" "Well you've told me jokes and never flirted so sure why not!!". That happens in real life.

Quote:
Now for the date! The most common date is the movie and dinner date. It is rather sweet and romantic to do that though. My suggestion is the arcade and skating if you can.
Wait what, I have to forgo the sweet and romantic date for something you suggest. What if I want sweet and romantic?

Quote:
Try mini-golf too!
Why?

Quote:
If you really wanna take the girl for a good meal, I suggest going somewhere like Chili's or Logans or any kind of restaurant like that.
Because I know these restaurants? A guide should not be based around the restaurants near you. We aren't trying to date you.

Quote:
As for the movie, a movie that BOTH of you will like.
I thought I was going skating followed by mini-golf?

Quote:
For my date a while back, I took her to see The Simpsons Movie. She absolutely loved it! It's your job as a guy to give the girl a good time!
Do you actually even know how to give a girl a good time?

Quote:
If you happen to get lucky (which you will)
You're so sure of yourself.

Quote:
you'll probably get rewarded with a kiss.
!!

Quote:
This will probably mean that she really likes you and she wants to move to the next step! As the guy, this is the time to ask her to be your girlfriend!
Seriously, I can't stop laughing anymore, this is such a bad guide. "Kiss me beautiful!" "Oh you hunky piece of man" "Be my girlfriend" "Ok cutie, but only because you took me to mini-golf followed by The Simpsons Movie".

Quote:
If she says yes, congratulations! Your days of being single are over! You have scored a nice girl and I wish you the best of luck!
Thanks to this guide I have made out with 25 womens.

Oh I have to break this into two posts to stop myself for a second.
TheRapingDragon is offline  
Old 09-20-2008, 06:11 AM   #5
TheRapingDragon
A car crash mind
FFR Veteran
 
TheRapingDragon's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Age: 36
Posts: 9,788
Default Re: Relationships for dummies!

Ok ok, I've caught my breath.

Quote:
Now we need to cover the relationship! So you 2 are now going out. That makes you the P I M P! Anyways, you are now going through what's called the honeymoon stage. This stage is about the fact that all you think about is her. This stage will last on an average of 2 weeks.
Citation needed indeed. What about my school studies I need to think about?

Quote:
Your conversations in person and on the phone are gonna be more fruity
Fruity? Wait, so am I still back as the gay best friend. So that's why she kissed me. Not to mention she just thought I was saying "yo girlfriend, let's go hit some hotties". Makes sense now.

Quote:
and a lot of "I love you's" coming out of both of you.
I had to check your age when I read this. Are you honestly 18? If you're saying "I love you" within 2 weeks of knowing each other then you're not in love. That's called infatuation. You sure you're not 14 years old?

Quote:
When you 2 hang out, you 2 will probably be holding each other's hands and probably cuddling while walking.
Do the cuddle walk.

Quote:
Hugs will turn to holds and a kiss leads to making out.
You know your stuff. Thanks.

Quote:
Money wise, I hope you 2 can manage it very well. It should be even based. Alot of times it's the guy ALWAYS buying the girl the food. It's ok to do that but not all the time.
Depends on the situation. You can't just generalise like this. If the guy has money and the girl doesn't the guy pays. If the guy has no money and the girl has money then there's nothing wrong with the girl buying. Ideally I believe in a 50/50 split but that's just me.

Quote:
As the guy, your the boss!
Sexism is still a proud tradition today I see.

Quote:
Don't let her control your money or yourself. You have the right to say no and I suggest you exercise it.
What are you, a woman?

Quote:
Do not be a strict boss.
Still love the sexist tone here.

Quote:
If she has to do something then let her do it. Let her feel free and be able to do anything.
Oh of course, and if she does something wrong I'll be sure to pull her back on her leash and punish her. Bad woman. Listen to your P I M P.

Quote:
Later in the relationship, either you or her will probably want sex.
Oh so we both can't want it? Only her or myself. Ok, so if I want sex she won't want it. Damn. Better get the chloroform.

Quote:
All I will say is, that is up to you. If your ready, ok then! Go for it! If your not, she better understand. If not, dump her!
Dump her for not understanding. Can't I try to explain first? Can't we perhaps talk about it, why so quick to dump? Are you single?

Quote:
If you ARE going to have sex, make sure you use a condom! If you don't it's your child when she gets pregnant.
Unless she slept around and the baby belongs to someone else.

Quote:
Cheating is NOT ok! If your girl happens to find another guy that she likes and is trying to get a date
Wait what, so she's trying to get a date with a guy right in front of me. Wow, she just emasculated me.

Quote:
you better take action immediately and get into what she's doing! If she IS cheating on you, just break up with her.
Why did she cheat on me? Did I do something wrong?

Quote:
If she says that's her best guy friend, it means it's her boyfriend
Again, are you 14 and sexist? Since when can a girl not have a best friend who is a guy? I had a best friend who was a girl, didn't mean she was my girlfriend and I was cheating. I mean that argument has no logical reasoning behind it. So she can only have friends who are girls?

Quote:
and she just let you in! She doesn't even love you enough to even stick with just you so it's not worth trying to fight for her back. If she likes him better, let her go.
So to further emasculate myself I have to let her go, not fight, not show why she should be with me, and also presume that her friend is actually her boyfriend, even though I'm her boyfriend because of mini-golf. This just gets more and more confusing.

Quote:
Breaking up is the saddest part of it. If you dumped her, she'll be crying for a while knowing that her heart's broken.
But you told me I dumped her because she cheated on me. She won't be crying, she'll be off having sex with her "best guy friend".

Quote:
If she dumps you, she might feel bad but your gonna be so depressed that day. Getting over it takes a day or 2.
So 2 days to get over a loving relationship full of "I love you" and sex and mini-golf. Again I say to you do you know the meaning of "infatuation".

Quote:
After that, it's a memory and you cherish the good moments you 2 have had.
I'll cherish all 2 weeks of it.

Quote:
Now try to seek another girl that you know won't leave you. It may take a while (13 months and counting for me)
I wonder why, I mean you wrote this guide and everything!

Quote:
Everyone will find the love of their life one day. You'll never know who it'll be.
Lies, not everyone finds love. Some people die alone.


I guess in the end I'm trying to say that's one of the worst guides I've read in my life. This coming from a guy who has spent time on wikihow.

Last edited by TheRapingDragon; 09-20-2008 at 06:18 AM..
TheRapingDragon is offline  
Old 09-20-2008, 06:12 AM   #6
Chaosvermin
FFR Player
 
Join Date: May 2007
Location: New Zealand
Age: 32
Posts: 140
Default Re: Relationships for dummies!

@TheRapingDragon

I'm beginning to love you.

Edit:
Quote:
Originally Posted by TheRapingDragon
Quote:
When you 2 hang out, you 2 will probably be holding each other's hands and probably cuddling while walking.
Do the cuddle walk.
This made me laugh good, I don't know why but thanks.
__________________
Note: I'm not good with writing or speaking my thoughts/ideas, what i have written makes perfect sense to me but to you im not so sure. I apologise in advance.

Quote:
It sounds like love is an amazing feeling. I guess its like dinosaurs, they sound amazing but I'm never gonna see one.
Some guy from some other forum.

Last edited by Chaosvermin; 09-20-2008 at 06:16 AM..
Chaosvermin is offline  
Old 09-20-2008, 06:47 AM   #7
devonin
Very Grave Indeed
Retired StaffFFR Simfile AuthorFFR Veteran
 
devonin's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Ontario, Canada
Age: 40
Posts: 10,098
Send a message via AIM to devonin Send a message via MSN to devonin
Default Re: Relationships for dummies!

Yay for unneeded duplicate threads. For my money "Stick it in her butt and pee" is still the best relationship advice this site has ever generated. You don't need to make new versions of things that are already stickied unless you want to directly update or improve the stickied content.
devonin is offline  
Closed Thread


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump



All times are GMT -5. The time now is 03:47 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.1
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Copyright FlashFlashRevolution