02-26-2009, 12:38 PM
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FFR Player
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Nesoi, Olympus System
Posts: 2,644
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Some poems
I thought I'd contribute some poems I've written, just for fun. If any of you consider this thread unjustified, just lock it.
The Green Fairy Liquid fire, heart's desire The fairy's siren song Lift me up and take me higher Won't be long before I'm gone Ardent yearning lips of liars Tease me, strip me with your taunts Consumed in rapture, deathly mired You know what it is I want Corrupt my spirit, taint my soul Tempt me, taste me, swallow me whole Split me, break me, take your toll Give me back what lovers stole Make me yours, devour me sweetly Rip me, shred me, tear me neatly Graceful and elegant, my darling girl You encompass my entire world End of eras, death of ages Make proud fools of gods and sages Enter my mind and become one with me Teach me beauty and set me free Inkblot Drowning in a frozen sea of apathy I cannot speak, I cannot breathe Melting into a blot of ink 'Til there is nothing left of me Cascading, crushing, crumbled reality Learn to look and you will see The meaning of finality A thing of beauty In every atom of everything Consumerica Welcome to the digital ageless century Living the hi-def caviar dream Imbued with taste for the finer things Riding the tides of data streams Rotted to the core while the surface gleams Dazzling our collective eyes Rewriting our obsolete nucleotides Succumbing to defective lives Now what have we become? Fools who've paid for paradise Once we were the galaxy's envy There's been a mistake and we've grown too many Now existing to defy the error Based on ever-present shapeless terror And now we've come to form but echoes of a laugh. Luminous, discordant, detached society Drinking our humanity away Laughing in the face of sobriety Sacrificing tomorrow for today Convert, transcode, revise, reload Remove the cause for all our woes Is it truth if no one knows? Held captive by the lights and glow Ironic proof you'll never know What happened many years ago. Manufacture wants and needs Replace debate and plant the seeds Erode the human condition with what's on TV screens Not everything is always what it seems Trade in bombs for stocks and bonds Entrap yourself in endless greed We want you to be consumed Because that's what good citizens do Freedom or security? It's time to choose You want the truth yet we owe nothing to proof We've got nothing to lose Profit is our prophet and we're coming after you! Go to bed, shut up, lay down Erase that silly little frown Assimilate now or prepare to drown Destroy our perfection and we will PUT YOU DOWN. Welcome to our Company, little buddy! We're gonna make a good little consumer out of you. Photocopy Print it send it, twice divide it Check it, proof it, then rewrite it Send it through the copy machine Watch it come out fresh and clean A perfect replica pristine Just like our society Revel in the mind of a photocopy A paper jam's when the bombs are dropping Reset, return, redo and readopt mediocrity Nothing can stop the way we process things Drawing a blank when the ink runs out No matter what you do when you scream and shout Nobody can stand up to the mighty collective Destruction of inventive by methods preventive We're running out of paper and the printer's breaking We've got another company purchase in the making It's time for a new photocopy machine To clean from our spirits what was once ours to keep. Lack of Logic You ruin me with cheap semantics Sense escapes you, phrases magic Your lack of logic I find tragic You want it all but you can't have it These words of yours cause endless pain It's sticks and stones, let's play a game Burn my synapses and break my mind I'm not the only one you'll find Who takes your lies for what they are But this time you've just gone too far. Situations lead temptations down a dark and dismal path You've provoked and brought upon yourself my fury and my wrath That lack of judgment that you have makes your conscience laugh Such an easy thought process, yet you can't do the math. Lover's Waltz She dances with me intimately As her body shakes and shivers rhythmically Snaps and quivers with blistering speed Tears down my foundations so precisely Flying 'cross the stage she's soaring The look upon her face imploring Inviting me into exploring her world Her eyes, they shine like midnight pearls Stripping clothes as layers unfurl Drink a drop of lover's potion Absorb the heart of your emotion Letting go of all my pride Forgetting all the hate inside Remembering the meaning of devotion Tracing patterns down your spine We're making love in 3/4th's time Our souls and bodies intertwine Your satin touch is like a lifeline Love like this don't cost a dime In between the sheets we're dancing Look at what a mess we've made Morning coming starts to fade Be my heart and be my shade You alone can make my heart sing You could be my everything Alright, so those are just a few of my poems from the last few years. /shrug comment and critique if you want, but they're just little spurts of thought.
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.  Originally Posted by jewpinthethird[link]: "If you get stung by enough bees you turn into a bee, because the venom gets into the blood stream which spreads bee DNA throughout your entire body... changing your genetic structure into a bee's. Every year roughly 125 people in America are turned into bees this way." Originally Posted by MrRubix[link]: "Do you basically bukkake-paint your walls every time you jack it?" Originally Posted by All_That_Chaz[link]: "My pity-sex depreciates at a rate of 5% annually." Last edited by OrganisM; 02-26-2009 at 12:41 PM.. |
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02-26-2009, 05:50 PM
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#2 |
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caveman pornstar
   
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: ridin on a unicorn
Age: 33
Posts: 6,317
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Re: Some poems
line break =/= punctuation
With that said, you have a pretty robust vocabulary which leads to some interesting turns of phrase and overall good reading. I enjoyed Inkblot the most for some reason. but seriously use punctuation 
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02-26-2009, 08:04 PM
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#3 |
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FFR Player
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Canada, with the cool people!
Posts: 2,707
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Re: Some poems
I liked the first one, but it felt as though the rhythmic wasn't quite there. Some words were breaking the flow of what could have been something much more interesting.
IMO of course.
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Truth lies in loneliness, When hope is long gone by -Blind Guardian, The Soulforged Image removed for size violation. |
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02-27-2009, 04:43 AM
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#4 | |
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FFR Player
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Nesoi, Olympus System
Posts: 2,644
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Re: Some poems
Quote:
I should have thought this through, most of these aren't my best poems.. :P
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. Originally Posted by jewpinthethird[link]: "If you get stung by enough bees you turn into a bee, because the venom gets into the blood stream which spreads bee DNA throughout your entire body... changing your genetic structure into a bee's. Every year roughly 125 people in America are turned into bees this way." Originally Posted by MrRubix[link]: "Do you basically bukkake-paint your walls every time you jack it?" Originally Posted by All_That_Chaz[link]: "My pity-sex depreciates at a rate of 5% annually." |
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02-27-2009, 09:46 AM
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#5 |
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FFR Veteran
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: White Plains, New York
Age: 32
Posts: 2,240
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Re: Some poems
Lots of sex references o.o
As a poet/song-writer myself I liked it a lot!
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"AW MAN, WE SUCK AGAIN!" - Rob Schneider, The Waterboy (1998) |
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04-6-2009, 05:59 PM
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#6 |
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FFR Player
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: San Antonio ~!(210)!~
Age: 29
Posts: 87
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Re: Some poems
I really like Green Fairy, Lack of Logic, and Lovers Waltz. They were all very interesting. But with Cunsumerica you kind of lost me. I did really like your style of writing though =)
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