Old 03-29-2013, 09:41 AM   #1
moches
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Default coming out

I have been attracted to men for as long as I can remember: since I was seven, probably. The first memory I have of me...masturbating (oh, fuck, this is embarrassing) was related to a male figure. Anyway, the bottom line is, I'm bisexual/possibly gay. Have been for as long as I can remember and that wasn't a choice for me. Ever.

But I live in hyper-conservative Korea, with two hyper-conservative parents who just had this exchange watching Spartacus:

Quote:
Mom: Ugh, they're gays?
Dad: Yeah, obviously (tone of disgust).
Mom: Ew, what is this show?
You can imagine why I haven't come out to my family yet.

But today, for the first time in my life, I talked with a few trusted friends about this. It felt amazing to finally have somebody know and not have to hide my sexuality from them, honestly. The best part was that everybody was amazingly chill about it. Nobody was even very surprised and everybody was quite supportive.

I don't know why I'm making this thread, really. I just wanted to share my experiences, maybe hear from other people, and get some thoughts/advice about coming out. Should I even bother coming out? Other than that whole, you know, hating gays problem, my parents and I have a very tight bond and I'm at a complete loss how I can get them to even begin to understand me.

Last edited by moches; 03-29-2013 at 09:44 AM..
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Old 03-29-2013, 09:41 AM   #2
moches
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Default Re: coming out

god fuck I've never revealed this much about myself on the Internet why
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Old 03-29-2013, 09:44 AM   #3
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Default Re: coming out

It's okay bro
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Old 03-29-2013, 09:53 AM   #4
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Default Re: coming out

'Tsall okay to me as well. (: I'm not dealing with what you are going through, but I know that revealing truths about yourself is a very hard thing to do.
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Old 03-29-2013, 09:55 AM   #5
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Default Re: coming out

You don't even have to worry about it here man. One thing I can give this community is they are supportive of this. Look back to flipsta's thread. You just have to do what's going to make you happy regardless if your family is on board. Sucks that more parents aren't supportive though :/
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Old 03-29-2013, 10:02 AM   #6
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Default Re: coming out

Eeek, I wish I knew what kind of advice to give but I've got nothing. :c My mom isn't the most accepting parent either. But good luck to you with whatever you choose to do, I hope your decision brings you happiness.
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Old 03-29-2013, 10:05 AM   #7
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Default Re: coming out

being bi makes you more open to a whole world of sexual exploration imo.

saying nothing about myself nothing at all.
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Old 03-29-2013, 10:09 AM   #8
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Default Re: coming out

I hope that one day, you can open up to your parents when international gay rights are more widely pronounced. Best of luck!
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Old 03-29-2013, 10:10 AM   #9
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Default Re: coming out

Everyone is probably a little bit bisexual. Why limit yourself to half the population?
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Old 03-29-2013, 10:20 AM   #10
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Default Re: coming out

Everyone is bisexual some just swing more to one side than others

Niches step your parents a file and show them how you feel through art
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Old 03-29-2013, 10:26 AM   #11
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Default Re: coming out

hah this is awesome.


100% support mocher


MAYBE THAT'S WHY YOU STEPPED CHER
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Old 03-29-2013, 10:26 AM   #12
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Default Re: coming out

Quote:
Originally Posted by Wayward Vagabond View Post
Niches step your parents a file and show them how you feel through art
Lmfao

Don't worry about it at all, hope all goes well for you~ :')
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Old 03-29-2013, 10:28 AM   #13
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Default Re: coming out

Good luck with everything man, hope things don't get too tough.
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Old 03-29-2013, 10:28 AM   #14
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Default Re: coming out

Quote:
Originally Posted by moches View Post
Should I even bother coming out? Other than that whole, you know, hating gays problem, my parents and I have a very tight bond and I'm at a complete loss how I can get them to even begin to understand me.
Really depends what you're looking to get out of this, if you just want to be comfortable with who you are and you honestly feel getting it all out in the open will help, I say go for it. You're parents may not be immediately understanding, but they won't love you any less.
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Old 03-29-2013, 10:37 AM   #15
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Default Re: coming out

It's really difficult to feel right about admission of something like this when you know that your parents are so strongly opposed to it. Some people are so closed-minded...

Personally, I'll never judge someone if they are passionate towards someone of the same sex, and I won't ever feel ashamed if I gain an attraction to another male either.
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Old 03-29-2013, 10:48 AM   #16
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Default Re: coming out

Quote:
Originally Posted by Wayward Vagabond View Post
Niches step your parents a file and show them how you feel through art
In mines, write:
I

L
O
V
E

M
E
N
!

But seriously, I hope everything works out alright between you and your parents mochers. Best of luck to ya, bud!
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YOUR THROBBING MULTIFARIOUS LUSTFUL DESIRES ARE COMPLETED N YOUR HYPER-ORANGE SELF, YOU MAKE ME LOVE AGAIN, YOU'VE CHANGED MY HEART, MY MELANCHOLIA DISAPPEARS WHEN YOU ARE INSIDE OF ME, MY HUMAN RAGE IS TEMPERED WHEN I AM INSIDE YOU, THE SECRET IS COMMUNICATION, LONGEVITY, STAMINA, REPETITION, FURY, SOULFUL KISSING, EARPLUGS. YOU FUCKING CORPORATE COCKS AND CUNTS.

MY ANXIETY COMPLETE, MY DESIRE REPLETE, THE TASTE OF ORANGE BLOOD AND CUM AND GREENBACKS RUNNING DOWN MY FACE. THE STREETS WILL RUN ORANGE WITH YOUR MIXTURE OF CHEETOS AND HUNDRED DOLLAR BILLS REGURGITATED AND EATEN AND SHIT OUT AGAIN AND EATEN AGAIN.

YOU ARE MY SCULPTURE, MY SCULPTRA, MY SELF-DEFINITION. MY DEFINITION OF HUMANITY, MY HARMONY. MY HEART AND MY MIND.

YOU ARE SO ORANGE. SO CRUNCHY. SO CONSUMABLE.

THE NEW ORANGE UNDERGROUND IS THE ORANGE UP MY ASS. AND YOUR ASS.

I LOVE YOU CHEETOS.
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Old 03-29-2013, 10:50 AM   #17
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Default Re: coming out

No worries, man. Your secret is safe with this community. There are at least 8 openly gay members (and a few that are not so open) on FFR including myself and nobody gives any of us shit about it. Coming out to your parents is a whole new ball game, though. I'm sure my parents would be pretty accepting if I came out to them, but it is still a hurdle I've yet to jump over since I've heard stories of people close to me in my real life that came out to their parents and it didn't go so well..

Anyways, best of luck, moches. Thank you for being so open with us .

EDIT: for what it's worth, it is a huge part of life and I don't really feel like I started living until I started coming out to people. So it is a very good thing that you're starting to come out to more people.
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Old 03-29-2013, 10:59 AM   #18
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Default Re: coming out

Quote:
Originally Posted by Wayward Vagabond View Post
Everyone is bisexual some just swing more to one side than others

Niches step your parents a file and show them how you feel through art
mmm, maybe it's just me, but I don't think "'everyone' is bisexual".

But, yeah, it's all good here, I believe.
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Old 03-29-2013, 11:11 AM   #19
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Default Re: coming out

the support from everybody here has been heads and tails above what I was expecting. thank you all so much. I'll try and reply to everything posted here after some sleep, but I just want to let everybody know how much I appreciate all of your understanding.
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Old 03-29-2013, 11:13 AM   #20
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Default Re: coming out

Never feel ashamed for the feelings you have. There is absolutely nothing wrong with it and you definitely have my support! In regards to your parents, man, that sucks so hard I know flipsta had a huge thread similar to this you might want to check out. Best of luck to you, bro!
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