Transgender AMA

[tosh]

Originally Posted by andy-o24

What type of bathing suit do you currently use?

-o24

I avoid swimming like the plague. Used to have a one piece, but lost it during my move. Will likely get a better fitting one piece at some point with a frilly skirt thing attached to it.

Originally Posted by Icy

How do you feel trying to change your pitch to sound more female? Is it possible to have a natural flowing female voice?

idk about drizzle, but for me it's natural at this point and any attempt of me trying to imitate a male voice sounds fake. Only times I ever get misgendered with my voice is if I'm on the phone with a cold. Other than that, my daily work interactions lead me to believe it is possible to have a natural flowing female voice. However, I personally have issues in regards to singing and yelling.

Originally Posted by Icy

The male shape is more squareish, and female more curvy naturally; do you find yourself to have either more of a male or female shape now, did it take surgeries, and does it take convincing yourself that you look the way you want now, or are working towards the desired frame? (this also includes facial features, like a strong jaw bone, or browlines etc.)

I have always been thin, so I wouldn't say I have a curvy shape. However, the hormone replacement therapy makes it so that additional fat is stored in traditionally female areas (such as hips, thighs, butt, cheeks, etc). I personally am thinking of having minor facial surgery in the future, but I haven't committed to it. If I do, it would be for my own self confidence and not because I have issues physically passing.

Originally Posted by Icy

Even with gender reassignment surgery, do you fear that your genitals may not look cosmetically pleasing, extended also to boobs?

Even if reassignment surgery doesn't make my genitalia cosmetically pleasing, I would still consider it an improvement over what I currently have. As far as boobs go, I have resigned myself to be an eternal member of the itty bitty titty committee.

Originally Posted by Icy

Related to orgasms, I assume females have more nerves, or can experience more orgasms than men, is this the case for you? Has the transition heigtened, lowered, or remained the same to your susceptibility in this regard?

I personally have stronger orgasms than before (and sometimes multiple), but my libido/sex drive plummets while on HRT. A part of me is considering asking my endocrinologist about the possibility of adding progesterone to my HRT regime to get some of that back, but I'm still a bit undecided.

Originally Posted by Icy

The decision to have gender reassignment done is probably tough even if you are positive you want to transition, have you decided to go through with it? If not, is it important to eventually have it done?

I personally am 100% sure I'll have it in the future.

Originally Posted by Icy

Has your ability to reproduce also transitioned to that of a female? If not does that bother you personally? If so, or if you know someone who is bothered that they can't, what are some opinions there?
Do you have periods?

Modern science is not yet at that point, but there is small progress being made in that regard. Still many, many years off though (if it's actually possible at all). By extension, I do not have periods. I am personally completely okay with this seeing as I have no intention of having children, but this can be a major source of dysphoria for some people.

Originally Posted by Icy

Do you fear that after sinking in lots of time and effort, changing social status, changing your body, changing your mind, and changing your internal hormones among probably other things, that you might change your mind at some point, and want back what you had before?

I had these concerns at the start of my transition, but I'm far enough now that I really can't imagine de-transitioning. The thought of it is very foreign.

Originally Posted by Icy

Are there any other personal physical hurdles I haven't addressed that you can or would like to share?

Sorry I didn't run hurdles in high school track. jk I wish I was like 6 inches shorter, but there isn't anything I can do about that.

Originally Posted by Icy

Do you pass as female for yourself? Others is cool, but this is important.

For the most part, yes. There will always be features about myself I'm not 100% happy with, but that's true with everybody.

Originally Posted by Icy

And finally, are you happy?

Overall, yes. I personally don't feel my transition is complete, but I am in a much better place than I was when I started.

[j-rodd123]

thanks tosh and drg, very insightful answers. i have never met a trans person before so i'm glad you are doing this!

[icontrolyourworld]

Ayyy tosh! Thank you for taking the time to answer my questions, they're pretty blunt, but you provided some very nice insight. It's actually very good to hear your certainties with this transition, and that you're overall happier! I may have some future questions, but these are some main ones that i have thought about from time to time. So thanks again for the honesty and feedback

[MrPoptart]

Didn't see this thread till now, so sorry if something similar was asked already. My brother (sister?) came out (?) around new years 2017 and it's been an interesting/difficult/emotional experience for me. I can admit that I had/have some prejudice opinions because I don't personally fully understand it, but I'm trying to be as supportive as I can be.

I was wondering what were some of the difficulties you faced in the years following the start of your transition, and maybe some of the ways you wished others were supportive towards you? I don't see her very often anymore and sometimes I feel like she's depressed and I don't know what I can do. Did ether of you face a lot of depression and did it eventually get better? It's still difficult for me to remember to use female pronouns and use her new name since she's been my brother for 26+ years and we were pretty close. She says she's ok with me not using them but should I force myself to use them anyway (in your opinion)? Her birthday is coming up soon and I just want her to be happy... thanks.

[choof]

what's your favorite tea

[Ghost_Medley]

Originally Posted by choof

what's your favorite tea

Mine is either chamomile or ginger tea.
hi choof

[drizzleRomanceGirl]

Originally Posted by andy-o24

What type of bathing suit do you currently use?

-o24

i use a one-piece

Originally Posted by mellonxcollie

Do you actually agree with the draft or do you just think everyone should be forced to sign up for equality sake? Would you ever consider serving in the military voluntarily? Would you feel that it would be safe for you to be around military type people in that setting?

honestly i'm not sure; i don't agree with war or killing people for any reason, but countries do need a way to defend themselves if other people attack and try to kill them

but if it is required it should be required for everyone IMO

also i would consider joining the military only if i administered first aid to help people live or did something where i wasn't a soldier or anything that doesn't help the military kill people like building guns and tanks

i doubt it would be completely safe in a military setting if everyone knew i was transgender so i would probably keep it a secret unless i became close friends with someone and i trusted that person

i guess i could join a LGBTQA+ group but i doubt everyone would be comfortable with transgender individuals

Originally Posted by icontrolyourworld

Once you start the transition from male to female you don't want to just look like a girl, but to also be 100% or close to a girl as possible i assume. This not only includes passing for others but passing for yourself, being happy with the end result.

My questions are about any physical insecurities you may or may not have with either current or during transitional periods leading to being a female. Being born male and transitioning to female will definitely present these hurdles.

I'm coming late to the discussion, feel copy paste any answers you may have answered, since this might be kind of a lot. Sorry in advance for repeated questions!

How do you feel trying to change your pitch to sound more female? Is it possible to have a natural flowing female voice?
The male shape is more squareish, and female more curvy naturally; do you find yourself to have either more of a male or female shape now, did it take surgeries, and does it take convincing yourself that you look the way you want now, or are working towards the desired frame? (this also includes facial features, like a strong jaw bone, or browlines etc.)
Even with gender reassignment surgery, do you fear that your genitals may not look cosmetically pleasing, extended also to boobs?
Related to orgasms, I assume females have more nerves, or can experience more orgasms than men, is this the case for you? Has the transition heigtened, lowered, or remained the same to your susceptibility in this regard?
The decision to have gender reassignment done is probably tough even if you are positive you want to transition, have you decided to go through with it? If not, is it important to eventually have it done?
Has your ability to reproduce also transitioned to that of a female? If not does that bother you personally? If so, or if you know someone who is bothered that they can't, what are some opinions there?
Do you have periods?
Do you fear that after sinking in lots of time and effort, changing social status, changing your body, changing your mind, and changing your internal hormones among probably other things, that you might change your mind at some point, and want back what you had before?
Are there any other personal physical hurdles I haven't addressed that you can or would like to share?
Do you pass as female for yourself? Others is cool, but this is important.
And finally, are you happy?

well i mean i've always been a girl but i do want to be feminine both to other people and myself; when i was in high school before i took hormones i practiced how to walk feminine, write feminine, and even use feminine words when i type or speak, but that's silly because i've always been a girl so i don't need to do anything to be feminine

i adjusted my voice while i spoke since late high school because i really didn't like how my voice didn't sound feminine and i rejected my voice and after a few years i sounded feminine to myself; when i first kept adjusting my voice for a few years my mom thought i sounded like a little high-pitched girl so i tried to make my voice more natural and i spoke at a more comfortable pitch so now i think i sound naturally feminine; even if i don't i like the way my voice sounds and i'm not going to change it anymore

most people use voice training exercises to adjust their pitch, tone, and resonance that are probably a lot more effective but i want to recognize my voice and have my voice be natural so i don't want to change my voice with exercises

i don't really know whether i have curves or not; i don't look at my body in the mirror that much except for my face once in awhile; i don't really want to look at what i look like completely until after i get the surgery; i do have curves at the sides of my body which is really nice, but i never really look at my body to see what i look like

i'm not going to have any surgery except for SRS (sexual reassignment surgery); i love how the hormones made my body more feminine and i'm really happy with the effects; also i pass as female all the time so there's no point to get any other surgeries since i'm happy with all the effects from the hormones

i already love how my breasts look and as long as i don't have male genitalia anymore i'll honestly be okay with anything

i'm trying not to masturbate ever again until the surgery

i am definitely going to have the surgery even though i'm scared to have it because i really don't want to keep living with male genitalia

i want to have the possibility to become pregnant and it does bother me but science can't do that right now even after i have the surgery

no; science can't make transgender women have periods right now

no; i was always a girl to begin with even though i didn't realize it until middle school in about 7th grade; i was always uncomfortable with the body i was born with since i was little though

i know i want to transition because i always rejected the body i was born with since i was little and transitioning and expressing myself as a girl makes me happy, so i won't change my mind

i do have another physical hurdle but it's really personal so i'd rather not share it

yeah, i finally look like a girl in the mirror and i see myself as a girl inside and i like the way my voice sounds now

and yes, i'm really happy with my transition

Originally Posted by icontrolyourworld

Ayyy tosh! Thank you for taking the time to answer my questions, they're pretty blunt, but you provided some very nice insight. It's actually very good to hear your certainties with this transition, and that you're overall happier! I may have some future questions, but these are some main ones that i have thought about from time to time. So thanks again for the honesty and feedback

you're more than welcome

Originally Posted by MrPoptart

Didn't see this thread till now, so sorry if something similar was asked already. My brother (sister?) came out (?) around new years 2017 and it's been an interesting/difficult/emotional experience for me. I can admit that I had/have some prejudice opinions because I don't personally fully understand it, but I'm trying to be as supportive as I can be.

I was wondering what were some of the difficulties you faced in the years following the start of your transition, and maybe some of the ways you wished others were supportive towards you? I don't see her very often anymore and sometimes I feel like she's depressed and I don't know what I can do. Did ether of you face a lot of depression and did it eventually get better? It's still difficult for me to remember to use female pronouns and use her new name since she's been my brother for 26+ years and we were pretty close. She says she's ok with me not using them but should I force myself to use them anyway (in your opinion)? Her birthday is coming up soon and I just want her to be happy... thanks.

i really think you should use feminine pronouns and treat her as a girl even if you're comfortable seeing her as a boy because she identifies as a girl and when people treat her as a girl it probably makes her happier

even if she says she's okay with you not using feminine pronouns it probably really hurts her inside when people call her masculine pronouns because that's not who she is

when i first told my family i'm transgender my mom thought it was a phase for a long time and since i started transitioning, apparently she thinks i have a completely different personality because i'm more expressive and social and she "mourns the old me"; also once i started transitioning my brother didn't want me to go near his friends or school because he was worried if they knew i was his sister and i didn't look female yet and i was wearing feminine clothes, they might stop being his friend and judge him; my dad thinks i can't think logically anymore and my thinking is "clouded" because of the hormones which isn't true at all; hormones don't cloud your judgment or affect the way you think at all

i just feel like if i had told my mom and dad earlier things could have been different

also i have been depressed but it's because of school and how my family sees me; it has nothing to do with transitioning and transitioning has made me a lot happier also i was depressed way before i started transitioning and taking hormones

Originally Posted by choof

what's your favorite tea

i actually don't like tea at all; i don't like coffee either

my favorite hot drink is hot chocolate

[clasko1000]

Oh, you just posted this a short while ago. I was browsing and it was way down in the home page list when I opened the window. Just now I was like a new post but I had already read it... lol.

Don't mind me, I've been following the thread since day 1 and like reading about view points different from my own. And I mean that purely in the sense that I'm not transgender myself. I have a few friends from the area who are and have some super interesting conversations with them.

[drizzleRomanceGirl]

Originally Posted by clasko1000

Oh, you just posted this a short while ago. I was browsing and it was way down in the home page list when I opened the window. Just now I was like a new post but I had already read it... lol.

Don't mind me, I've been following the thread since day 1 and like reading about view points different from my own. And I mean that purely in the sense that I'm not transgender myself. I have a few friends from the area who are and have some super interesting conversations with them.

welcome

[drizzleRomanceGirl]

bump

[Staiain]

Damn I completely missed this thread, I should check ffr more often


Edit: Although I'm very early into transition, I might be able to answer some questions as well

[Spenner]

Originally Posted by Staiain

Although I'm very early into transition, I might be able to answer some questions as well

What are some of the challenges you're facing in the early stages?

What is it like in your mind to decide to finally put things in motion?

Do you feel like there might be a problem with overcrowding gender neutral bathrooms because anyone can use them?

I've always thought that maybe not being CIS is like, some kind of defense mechanism humanity has for balancing out it's overpopulation. What do you think of that idea?

[Staiain]

Originally Posted by Spenner

What are some of the challenges you're facing in the early stages?

Lots of things, like the fear of being judged even though I've barely seen anyone do that so far for me, or most of all afraid of losing friends because of it or that I'm changing personality making friends uncomfortable or stop talking to me. The adapting socially, because right now I feel like I'm sort of in between, or nowhere if that makes sense. I don't feel like male or female at this stage so I feel a bit odd at times, really hard to explain. Also getting used to being physically weaker, having to ask for help occasionally with my own bag at stairs is really awkward haha. Sense of smell is stronger from what I can tell, I can smell body odor from guys very strongly and oh boy do people smell bad, especially at LAN parties, airports, conventions and worst of all public bathroom is like a gas chamber to me now, I can't breathe in there anymore. (Men's). Also the hardest challenge is being hella impatient, I want the changes to happen faster. Looking at older photos is also increasingly hard and uncomfortable, even just a few months back, some pictures of myself makes me directly uncomfortable.

Originally Posted by Spenner

What is it like in your mind to decide to finally put things in motion?

I feel really relieved, at ease and more positive towards the future now that I've taken measures to look forward to every day, being able to enjoy life now and wanting to make it even better. It's certainly a bit new for me as I've been relatively apathic until recently so it feels great to have been able to take the scary step forward to live the way I wanted and be who I've always felt I was but too afraid to be open about.

Originally Posted by Spenner

Do you feel like there might be a problem with overcrowding gender neutral bathrooms because anyone can use them?

I've never really thought of it like that but as I see it, on events and such the men's are always overcrowded but lady's are like empty, so it's a waste of available spots to hard divide them like that imo.

Originally Posted by Spenner

I've always thought that maybe not being CIS is like, some kind of defense mechanism humanity has for balancing out it's overpopulation. What do you think of that idea?

I've definitely not thought of it like that, I think gender dysphoria is more complicated like that, but it's certainly an interesting thought.