Spenner / Shpongulate AMA

[Spenner]

I live a double life, one as a fan of rhythm games and the family of people who share that interest (Spenner), and the part of my life that was dedicated to exploring the furthest reaches of the mind by using drugs, to my own detriment-- obscure, highly powerful ones of all kind.

I've beat SSRI dependence, Benzo dependence, opioid dependence three times, stimulant psychotic episodes idk how many, one addiction to the drug 3-MEO-PCP which was something else (and dissociatives in general- discounting DXM cuz it's shit).

I was on kratom for 7 years so that goes on the list too

Inevitable drinking problem.

AMA! If anyone wants advice related to anything to do with abuse of any kind, or if you're curious as to what strategies are good for certain things. Or anything at all.

This is just the Spenner thread... Shpongulate is a thing of the past (except for my handle on Tripsit-- if anyone has ANY concerns or questions that need immediate answers please go to Tripsit.me and there are a wonderful bunch of helpful people who have all been there).

Cheerios.

[aperson]

How does one beat an addiction 3 times?

Why do you think your psyche requires so much of your attention?

If you could swap the minds of two people but not the bodies which two people would you swap?

[Spenner]

Originally Posted by aperson

How does one beat an addiction 3 times?

In three different contexts, which I'll try to be brief on (speaking specifically on opioid addiction):

I used to use kratom in highschool as a mood enhancer and as an alternative to weed which induced a lot of anxiety, I felt like I had little room to try anything else than to become an alcoholic). Kratom was awesome. 5g doses were perfect for a solid 5 years. But after that mark, my depression worsened, and cessation of the one thing supplying dopamine to my brain was gone. I was taking 100mg gravol to take 30g of kratom per day just to stop withdrawal symptoms.

How I beat it that time? I ordered tapentadol, tramadol, and desmethyltramadol and used their respective halfives to reduce the necessity my brain had for opioid reward system action.

It got worse. After I stopped kratom, after I experimented with research chemicals (FAR more effective than tramadol itself, I might add. Shit was legal and open), I had severe physical problems. I had to get my lower intestinal tract reconstructed because of constant fissuring.

So the second addiction begins here-- legitimacy of use, and the desperation to feel good. I researched hard. U47700 is a dangerous chemical that WILL kill you if you mix it with almost anything else, and I ordered a shitton of it. 7.5x (avg) the potency of morphine. I used this constantly, with the perception of sobriety because I felt "normal". But cessation of breathing in the middle of the night, respiratory depression (thankfully my brother found me) and many other factors led to me dropping it cold turkey and locking myself in with my parents.

The next weeks sucked. Worst sickness I've ever had.

Third time, well, I ordered U47 again. And O-Desmethyltramadol again (which, when you're using something 7.5x the potency of morphine, does nothing). I was addicted again, but was caught. I was called out by my work. I was so close to being fired. I smartened up.

Drug use does not entail a solution to end drug use. But Ephenidine is a dissociative anaesthetic psychedelic that truly saved me. It cleared me of physical cravings, and gave me back my motivation to keep working and to work for a better life.

So that's that. Just the opioid related portion. I can elaborate on others if its desired.

Why do you think your psyche requires so much of your attention?

Because every bump in a train of thought means something. Every tree bumps its branch a different direction. I'm vigilant to ensure those branches don't collapse into themselves, into walls, etc. I see my thoughts as a whole breathing and exhaling system, and I make sure that no provocation affects it without my allowance.

If you could swap the minds of two people but not the bodies which two people would you swap?

Anyone. You. It really would not matter to me seeing as my physical body is such a small aspect of my identity.

[Zapmeister]

You're playing poker with a tiger, a rhinoceros, a chimpanzee, and a starfish. You're holding 7s 7h and the flop is 9d 4c 9c. The tiger sticks its tongue out playfully and makes silly faces while staring at the rhinoceros, laughs a bit, and taps its paw twice to check. The rhinoceros stoically stares into the distance and slowly moves enough chips into the middle to bet 3/4 of the pot. The chimpanzee folds. The starfish slowly crawls towards its cards, then towards its chips, then back towards its cards, then back towards its chips again, and pushes enough chips into the pot to call. Do you fold, call, raise, or run screaming?

How well do you think you cope under pressure, on a scale of 0-10 where 0 is Homer Simpson trying to do his taxes 2 hours before the deadline ("Marge! How many kids do we have!? Oh no time to count! I must estimate! uh... Nine!") and 10 is William Trubridge?

What country would you most like to go on holiday to, assuming you could afford it?

You wake up one day to find that you have mysteriously acquired 2744 ripe avocados and a lifesize cardboard cut-out of Justin Bieber while you were asleep. There is an explanatory note, which says that one of your close friends, who hates avocados and Justin Bieber, went on Deal Or No Deal, and dealt at the Banker's offer which was 2744 ripe avocados and a lifesize cardboard cut-out of Justin Bieber and a Lamborghini. But that person got a little frustrated because they had the $500k in their box/case/whatever, so they took their frustration out on you by dumping the avocados and Justin Bieber cut-out on your doorstep. What do you do with them? You know you only have a few days before the avocados go off.

[Spenner]

I'd donate my bounty and leave them all happier poker players, the end

I have am about a 9? Thats if I'm properly prepared. Sometimes 10.

I would love to go to The Faroe Islands or Iceland, most beautiful places on earth IMO

I hire a lawyer ASAP to deal with my JBeibzz shit

[MixMasterLar]

What's the oldest song you know? How about the oldest movie you've watched? Did they leave any kind of impact on you?

if you could get everyone to read one book, which one would you choose and why?

Any place you've yet to visit that you feel is a must see before you die?

[Spenner]

Oldest song I know/earliest song I have ever heard vividly was the Magic School Bus theme or Pingu lol. They began to trigger the correlation between sight and sound from a very early age, and my synaesthesia naturaly developed steadily from there. Oldtest movie probably Alice in Wonderland which has left an unsettling dystopian feeling within me. I feel like its from a fever dream of someone trapped inside Chernobyl.

Mostly the impact had come from one of the first books I read-- one or two Goose Bumps-- then an obsession with Scary Stories to Tell in the dark. From therein I suffered sleep paralysis and true panic for many years growing up.

One book... I Am A Strange Loop. Difficult learning curve, a little confusing, but enlightening to so many ideas about biology, cosmology, and cognition. (It's a shortened less college reading level version of G.E.B An Eternal Golden Braid) by Douglas Hofstaedter.

Before I die I must see the coastline of the Faroe islands from the top of a nearly impossible to reach peak.

[MixMasterLar]

The animated Alice in Wonderland or the old live action (I'm assuming not the newer live action for obvious reasons)


The animated Alice in Wonderland is probably my favorite Disney movie. Def my favorite from when Walt was still working on them

[Spenner]

For sure the old one. The new one was just part of a fad of raping people's eyes with CGI.