We shall write a story, 5 words at a time.

[supermousie]

(this shit's been APPROVED, MOTHER****ER)

Updated Rules-- Read this pls:
[~]As in the thread title, each of your posts should contain 5 words that contribute to the story.

[~]What you write can be as ridiculous as you want. Just link it to the previous bits of the story and you're good.

[~]Be funny.

[~]Don't try too hard to be funny. If you have to try, chances are you aren't.

[~]If the person before you has ended in a period, start a new sentence so the story actually makes sense. (thanks Ben)

[~]Try to appear that you have some semblance on the English language by spealling corecttly, and by using correct punctuation and grammar. Or at least try your hardest to use the following properly: Capitalisation (eXaMpLe), speech marks (""), commas(,), periods (.), speech marks (""), colons (:), speech marks (""), semicolons (;), tildes (~), hyphens (-), speech marks(""), etc.
(I mean come on guys, Nikola Tesla could speak eight languages fluently. Most of us speak just one (and a lot do a pretty shitty job of it))

[~]Please don't include ellipses (...) in your post, and don't capitalise unless the previous five words ended in a period. I have to remove them manually when I update this post, which slows the updating process.

[~]Use your --{~=iMaGiNaTiOn=~}--

[~]Here are some ideas if you have no imagination:
Charlie Sheen, hookers, MAD CUZ BAD, aliens, YaBoy, voting for Nixon, poop, surprise buttsex, tarantulas, making fun of hi19 for making yet another impossible to achieve token file(lmfao), potato, calling Middie "Osstin", Kommisar, Kommisar's coffee teeth, Canadians, drinking, penis, Chinese sneaker factories, gambling, illicit drugs, origami, kittens, wireless printers, barbeque tongs, dong xi, Dossar, Synthlight, tissue boxes, three-piece suits, crane-kicking people in the chin, flying, trains, LCDs, and monkeys.

============================================================================================================

Updated to post #710 by request. Fuck you for making me come back and inadvertently read the SAOP shit (Feb 7 SotW newspost) bc shit if that ain't stars aligning, then well fuc. 18/03/14 (rated M for moobs)

Once upon a time, there was a hot stripper who was jumping on a bed when suddenly out of nowhere a time portal had opened. Charlie Sheen sauntered out, smokin', bangin' his seven gram rocks cause that's how he rolls his joints in cigar paper. Even so, he wanted to do a backflip while singing a lullaby to his sweet dead wife and kids who have deceased in a disastrous accident involving a tiger, lube, and several hundred gigolos. A witness described the scene as the best damn thing to go to the pub. The strippers start to take a salamander and slip it between their toes while they scream like little bitches and writhe around in awkward discomfort. Then they arrow smashed my hooberous, and ate all of the unicorn crap that was penetrating kitten buttholes.

In Soviet Russia, kittens penetrate his butthole as he screamed shrilly in another realm of disgusting erroneous monsters that feed on sex where only death could provide a divine sense of pleasure. Meanwhile, supermousie hides in a box on the corner hijacking the internet database on prolific posts on FFR's forum. Then the moderators try to act like they can IP ban his account when supermousie revealed that he was actually a woman, and exotic dances to kommisar in his sleep.

Meanwhile, in the jungle, two 2 little dwarfs shows up the two 2 of them bled out all over the ground and a bird dropped from their spilling intestines into an unsuspecting rabbit's hole that the rabbits then emerged from a 1 meter wide vagina and grew into giant mutant crab lice. The crab lice violated the laws of physics by transforming into a giant box of cereal which decided to create a world of inverted buttholes and teenage mutant ninja llamas that breathe fire. The ninja llamas sharpened their mutant pubic hair swords and prepared to attack FFR tomorrow.

Meanwhile, in Walmart, there was some shady nigs lookin for petrol to sniff. Charlie Sheen who was smoking some crack and getting blown by a pre-pubescent teenage boy from Detroit, injected morphine into his brain while singing a silent lullaby to his monster, Neehs Eilrahc. As Neeh Eilrahc slept, there were seven midgets dancing around , making him come hard tonight near a motel called "The Nigopotamous". When he woke up, he ate five hundred thousand chocolate-chip cookies that he found stashed in santa claus's magical fat folds under his moobs which also contained some massive delicious Candy Canes made of C4 plastic explosive. Santa destroyed the factories of charlie sheens, because the government told him, "supermousie mentioned Charlie too many times for them to hear." The public then staged a ultimatum. They demanded supermousie to masturbate furiously to gay midgets, but after hours and hours, the tender skin became extremely Rough, prompting Charlie to remove two hairy midgets that were stuck in his nosehairs. So he decided to travel to Somewhere special, under the influence of crack which made him hallucinate about his pubic hair. Shortly afterward, he stumbled upon Santa, who gave many presents that had a uranium coating. The presents gave everyone cancer along with a heavy dosage of tetrahydrocannabinol. Everyone was high, unaware of the invasive tumors that were forming in their penises which made them go ba-doingn the instant they see Backdoor Sluts 9.

The best indie-pop band out there today can help turn even the fattest and ugliest animals into horny creatures capable of raping lumps of giant baked potato while wearing their mother's best vaginal dams. Three months later studies showed that vaginal dams have been proven to kill baby pachyderms. Save the pachyderms by donating $1000 to The save the aids corporation which will then re-route that money to Synthlight, who will use it to buy a yacht.

Purple glasses do look pretty in the very bright sunlight. Look at solar eclipses with green fish attached to your severely damaged rectum which hurts. I walked to the store and saw Charlie Sheen and asked him what the hell is the up with my body. He then graciously replied "Gravity's post doesn't make sense." After that, I was about 14 years old again. Puberty was something my grandmother took as a miracle, and she ate a fictional lobster tail found at Joe's Crab Shack, just across the street from a trailer park full of Charlie Sheens and Pedobears. I went to the Trailer Park and proceeded to shoot all of Bubbles shopping carts. Then the sweet, delicious smell of radioactive waste wafted up into my nose and out of my ears. My skin began to melt like butter. I thought that, probably, the world would find me very delicious but I was very very disgusting. I then realized that the world really HATED me! In despair, I ran into a giant cactus, it hurt my unspeakable ass and five of my eyes. I almost broke all of my hands trying to wrestle the big slimy octopus, I began to imagine Kommisar's smile before I cooked some blue french toast which got burnt due to an improper cooking apparatus. On Christmas, I want to kill dick for not imprisoning Dossar who was the one who starred in the movie Dossology , a tragic story about love, romance, and death.

I took Dossar's life shortly after AAA-ing Power, an extremely monumental accomplishment that nearly no other FFR-Player could accomplish without extreme amount of rubixforce, a mythological power derived from the godly amateurs. Dossar's funeral was held after Berserker rampaged through the streets and impaled Dossar with his Giant lazer beam sword while reluctantly accepting temporary overexhaustion. I jizzed in my pants, Don't tell my friends or i will rape you in the anus, while Sprite- laughs uncontrollably in my kitchen. The giant explosive nipple laser cannons were chopped into tiny bits by kirby’s razor sharp penis. I then warped to Skyrim and fought massive hordes of chicken nugget sized hamsters that spewed milk out of their nostrils. And baby blood from their arm pits gazing at the beautiful chaos of dead shit.

Five super hamsters were named: Fine, F*ck, Up, The, Story ‘cuz he was mad. They proceeded to rape supermousie in Extremis. Uncle Dolan recorded it. Finally, everybody died.
The end.

But wait, there’s more! Yesterday I tore out my eyeballs and shot lasers out of these nuts. The colors were the inverse negative of rainbow. The lasers accidently killed pokémons thus all hell broke loose. I farted as a warcry and proceeded to triple post and provocatively stroked my parasitic pubic fat ariel shaped mermaid-crabs. The day after, I received two extremely large testicles that I use to rape Aerith which was my final fantasy.

On the other hand, Zimmerman who knows not, woman's touch is favored to be the best around. And nothing's gonna change my love for you. I hate you with a strawberry pudding, which may just be worse than having three ass ass ass ass ass sorry, nervous stutter. Anyhow, things really aren't the same since Nicki Minaj got inside me and broke her penis immediately which was pretty sad for me, the keeper of the phallus which is known also as Anaru, the ass cavern weaboo. Anaru, quite obviously, was banished because he doesn't belong in this world. His dad raped the sky of its colour.

My twat tickles when it is shamelessly called a cooter and then it explodes like a nuclear reactor. During the moment Anaru rapes preteen girls, the tears fall a crimson tide was a great movie that features all the characters of an absolutely convoluted storyline. Then a new tales begins. A tale of the goriest thing to ever happen today because all ******s should die and racists should conquer the world. But, how would they cope with DustyFart's irreconcilable retardation? Simple, all they needed was a Spanish donkey torture device and kommisar to operate it. But hark! There suddenly was a wild missingno appearing within the now Charlie Sheen free story. Missingno corrupted the story and then faced the dire consequences which involved burning the game using clitorises of overaged prostitutes that were sweaty and wrinkly. Suddenly, Katie Holmes burst through to investigate the mystery of how she got brainwashed into thinking she was a detective who closed the case of the best thing ever to happen since the imprionment of Charlie Sheen and two brothers. Wait! His brothers are actually ninja turtles from outer space stuck in a vortex of penis mango flavoured jello schnapps constructed by the government, to assassinate the Jhopanese men who worked for Men In Black on Saturdays.

Princess Jessica Black, who we all know has the amazing ability to create donuts, cakes, and other pastries constructed miniature dolphins only using my big harry ball sack which is my dog's name and Mario went to rescue Ruby Rod, from the clutches of Robotnik. Four days later, Supermousie still hadn't updated the thread because he's Captain Slow and that caused him to implode in a shower of the purple bodily fluids of all that has exsisted for the high order of grapes. But one day, someone found a rare disease known as Dossaritis. The symptoms include vibrafapping, constant continuous ejaculating, and having gloating sessions annoying anyone who cannot AAAA rave7 rate 1.5x.

In other news, a giant laser corrected my perception of seeing Derpland, all while Derpina was derping like a crazy on the patio in the house of spagetti. The giant meatball known as Snooki wandered into the house, and then did a ****in' barrel roll into a sandwich. The ass in the glass just passed. The sandwich was fed to Heavy, who in turn was gonna cry some mooooooooore, but ended up sticking the pickles up into the air. But, suddenly as the roof caves, the giant dragon creature inside Put on a gangsta hat and c-walked around the whole area, making lava erupt from my enormous mousetrap filled with trashy girls phone numbers. Heavy scolecophagouses became capernoited after abacination of - sorry was drunk talking. I should attend an alcoholics party, where everybody just raves 7, and cannot PA anything to save their hazy lives. I would flash them my feet, which are incredibly hairy for a woman, but guys wouldn't mind them at all since I've worn Chinese boxed Magenta UGGs for sixteen weeks until the soles wore sideways.

*flashback*

AMA threads invaded FFR. All FFR members should now go into their pockets with their grubbly little mitts, and pull out a tooth pick to do the hustle with no violence. The next step is pretty obvious, in my opinion...giraffes are one of the most dangerous creatures in Jewpeeter. So dangerous, in fact, that they were banned from documentary even though viewers have bloodlust. Speaking of bloodlust, one time a mad scientist resurrected Frankenstein who rampaged killing thousands of Godzilla cosplayers, just to prove Charlie Sheen is awesome at snorting lines of illicit drugs. Four thousand milliseconds later, supermousie, formerly known as the "one", took a great big steaming dump the size of Jupiter.

Supermousie's dung had smelled of cooked stew because he had taken these pills that kill Justin Wong's Rufus divekick shenanigans right off the side of his Ferrari. But even after those pills, he still couldn't block Justin Wong's Rufus shenanigans because he had been scrubbed clean of his fightsticks grimy goo army.

In the meantime, "Dossar's scores make me depressed" was the only thought that crossed Justin's mind as Daigo accidentally sat on his fightstick, immediately stimulating his prostate, causing most people to vomit. Fortunately, his mom was around to manually masturbate for him, while Kommisar was there to record himself and IcyWorld playing some mother fucen STEPMANIA. Fortunately, after that mishap, someone had died. Everyone attended the funeral, including Charlie Sheen and Piplup. Kommisar frm another dimension came the...okay, I'll just move on.

Two hours later, Chuck Norris arrived at the funeral reception, and kicked life back into the corpses body as it decided to lift a finger into kommisar's butthole. kommisar yelled "sweet baby jesus, YES, YESSSSSSS!". Then, a wild Riotpolice appears who was quickly killed by rushyrulez who decided to take his place as Riotpolice, before being attacked by a group called the "Darjk Sharks," where not one person would care about anything not "Graphic Design", but liked to wear pink sunglasses, that matched their outfits; but the dark sharks had hopefully died off completely and...whatever. I'll just say what makes me moist is anything I don't like to say what it is in front of me. Anyway, on to getting fucked by drinking a few hundred shots of absinthe. He then proceeded to go to the bar where stepmanians hang out and guess what happened? The ITG machine in the bathroom stall started to randomly play "The Big Black", and the person playing it managed to AAA it twice with a cyborg bunny who kept whipping the player like a bitch for only a muffin and a hankerchief. Later, Jacky Chon entered the bar like he was this complete victim of bronie oppression, and murdered the cyborg bunny with a bunch of beer bottles and a Derpy Hooves plushie.

Six years later, the bar was razed. Then, some guy got on his knees and started walking like he was a pretty big and soft pikachu plush toy. Then he started rubbing the nearest brick of the nearest Tim Horton's while wishing it was Denny's. Suddenly, a wild stepman appeared! Wild STEPMAN used MASH KEYS! It was super effective! Wild Stepman's speed rose! Arch0wl used Mind Crush! It's a Critical Hit! Everyone then fell on dance pads drenched in so many bodily fluids produced by three of those new Pokemon which dissolved their pretty genitals into colorful vapor. The whole situation digressed into utter anarchy. However, the wild Stepman seemed totally familiar with all the iwbeds that has been going on in Charlie Sheen's head. Thus, the wild Stepman chose to ut the pads up with a giant purple knife and fashion together this enormous beast made of broken condoms. And as it rose, dripping wet gooey ectoplasm, he commented on Obamas Innagural Address. Angrily spouting the popular biblical phrase: "Can't someone else do it?!?". He suggested that more people should jump off a cliff to see who would survive without using enough spicy salsa for the chips to sustain a proper parachute form. Some however, had their own parachutes fashioned from Paraocto wings and a UFO sucks them up unfortunately.

Elsewhere, two scientists were on their way to the bathroom, because they had explosive erections for one another. They ignored said erections and started to play with each other's furry little kittens. Tom Cruise was preparing to star in "Cats the musical" until suddenly, Tom received a phone call from an anonymous caller who wanted him in another movie called "103 Dalmatians", which would be like an animated Porky's. So Tom had to make his jokes/delivery extra tasteless to bring out the whole "forever alone" demographic. there was a neat feature about this demographic that involved putting your left foot in and right foot out and then you get ready to sprint your giraffe, then you shake it in Hokey Pokey form, because...something I don't clearly remember.

Thoroughly baffled with vague memories, I scrambled to find my impressive collection of chinese torture devices that I had hidden within my flourishing stomach folds. Choke pear in hand, I then suddenly ran off to take a leak. I didn't know what to expect from strangely dressed little person standing next to me, taking a bit of time to go through the motions of relieving all of his back pain through vigorous yet ridiculous exercises. I watched in amazement, wishing that I could do the harlem shake while violently pooping on someone's front lawn with no regard to social conduct. The poop police then came and apprehended me while pooping with all the other Harlem children whom I've taught how to do the Harlem Shake.

Speaking of trends, one windy day out in Chicago, Illinois, a group of old timey gentlemen were walking down the down the underground sewage tunnel hoping for some instant gratification. After a long journey, they found their favorite toothless, seasoned veteran to have a couple slaps and tickles. Unfortunately though, this was against international law that FFR Pro keeps breaking. Meanwhile, a fat hobo caressed herself, with an intensity normally suitable at a beer joint, while gorging herself with hotdogs with Ketchup, Mustard, and Relish. All those condiments, and not only all of that deliciousness, felt like a combination of blue cheese with a side of deli pickles. It must have been the pickles because blue cheese doesn't cause diarrhea among fat hobos these days. Instead, it caused an increase in joy for the old fermented pickled pigs feet that retirement homes serve for diner. That dinner was surprisingly tasty. However, the feeling in my stomach became that of a vibrating cell phone going off in my enemies anus, plus the effect of a bouncing baby boy, fresh from church. The pain was so bad, that I started itching everywhere. Especially in my conscience, because the bad itch was down like a gangsta chick, packin' away at a very rapid pack. Some 15 rounds per second out of his 50 caliber gender swap rifle. The pain eventually grew so intense, that the Pope resigned. All of Vatican City then had a Pride Parade. Crowning Mr. Rogers was going to be the biggest mistake ever. Then the guy caught on fire and was eventually burned away while his puppets all laughed together as one big group.

I awoke in a cold igloo inside the Arctic Circle freezing my ass off, comforted by the warming sensation of vegetable soup. The heat started to cool off, so I lit a huge fire, and it quickly got way too big. My igloo began to melt, as well as the permafrost clinging to my gigantic remote island out in the crevice of my ass. Britney Spears saw the whole thing. She couldn't believe what had lodged in her floppity vagina. It was a really big flatscreen television playing furry porn on the Channel 6 news.

Dan Rather was rubbing away the sticky yellow substance on his leopard, which was not cleaned off for ninety-four days. He wondered what the yellow substance was since he couldn't determine it on his substance chart. He forgot, however, that the substance had a very robust semen-like flavor, and it was also very sticky, causing a flux in the old operating system on his calculator wristwatch. He was forced to use an old school abacus to determine the amount of sperm per square centimeter that the little insect was crawling on. After masturbating, he went back to his home and had Twinkies, which are not regular Twinkies, but deep-fried. them Twinkies turned out to be so sugary, that he got diabeetus from them ala Twinkie overdoes. The very next prostitute he met was so obviously a dude, but that meant more fun with his...didn't matter, because he had a history with people that would rn away from him because he would often show pictures of his impressively large indie rock collection. The prostitute suddenly asked him about his payment method, while awkwardly removing his 1970's style vintage collectable fedora. Naturally, all Hell broke loose as he uncontrollably began grinding his fist against the 1944 best-seller "Anna and The Nine Doofusses From India". So that encounter came to end a tragic night with a force usually reserved for the five weirdos near him. I cannot describe how gratifying the feeling of the force is in comparison to all the negatons floating around in SPAAAAAAAAAAAACE. It's truly satisfying as hot dogs falling on my floor, after pummeling a womans purse like a guy beating farm fresh eggs completely naked.

After all that mayhem occured, the five weirdoes left to eat all the yummy cookies made from those eggs. Shakira then told us that her pizza was not ready to fly off into the sunset because the pizza was made of the thick, hairy, heavy sumo wrestler from the other side of six months that performs in Times Square sometimes. His performances consist of dangerous stunts designed to stretch his rectum, as well as his brestises. Gaylord now looks like respectable human, despite his best Charlie Sheen impression while making a long metal shaft used

[DarknessXoXLight]

Once upon a time there...




edit: oooooops, i definitely didn't realize that cellphone part was your contribute! my bad.

[xXAll-ProXx]

was this hot stripper who...

[Sephiroth28]

was jumping on a bed...

[Winrar]

when suddenly out of nowhere...

[supermousie]

Originally Posted by DarknessXoXLight

edit: oooooops, i definitely didn't realize that cellphone part was your contribute! my bad.

LMFAO screw it. I like where this is going already.

[Frank Munoz]

a time portal had opened.

[supermousie]

OP doesn't count anymoar ;D


Charlie Sheen sauntered out, smokin'

[Winrar]

bangin' his seven gram rocks....

PS. it's been an hour

[Frank Munoz]

cause that's how he rolls...

[MrMagic5239]

his joints in cigar paper

[DarknessXoXLight]

Even so, he wanted to...

[Sephiroth28]

do a backflip while singing...

[Zon Fire]

a lullaby to his sweet..

[XCV]

dead wife and kids who

[Coolboyrulez0]

have deceased in a disastrous

[supermousie]

accident involving a tiger, lube,

[NeoMasterPie]

and several hundred gigolos. A

[XCV]

witness described the scene as

[samurai7694]

the best damn thing to