The Joke Thread - Page 2

**rushyrulz** · 09-7-2011, 12:06 PM

What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef!
buhdum tss

MrGiggles · 09-7-2011, 12:38 PM

a man walks into a bar

his alcoholism is destroying his family

MrGiggles · 09-7-2011, 12:40 PM

What's sad about 4 black people in a Cadillac going over a cliff?

They were my friends.

**Calcium Deposit** · 09-7-2011, 01:38 PM

Whats the difference between a pregnant woman and lightbulb?

**A2P** · 09-7-2011, 02:09 PM

V-Ormix · 09-7-2011, 02:55 PM

my friend asked me how many tsunamis it takes to break a nuclear cooling system... I busted out laughing right there. what a terrible joke xD

**m0de** · 09-7-2011, 03:06 PM

A burglar broke into a home. He heard a soft voice say,"Jesus is watching you". Thinking it was just his imagination, he continued his search. Again"Jesus is watching you". He turned his flashlight around, saw a parrot in a cage. He asked the parrot if he was the one talking. The parrot said yes. He asked the parrot his name, the parrot said, "Moses." The burglar asked, "What kind of people would name a parrot Moses?" The parrot said"The same kind of people who would name their pit bull Jesus!

**Sephiroth28** · 09-7-2011, 03:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by m0de

A burglar broke into a home. He heard a soft voice say,"Jesus is watching you". Thinking it was just his imagination, he continued his search. Again"Jesus is watching you". He turned his flashlight around, saw a parrot in a cage. He asked the parrot if he was the one talking. The parrot said yes. He asked the parrot his name, the parrot said, "Moses." The burglar asked, "What kind of people would name a parrot Moses?" The parrot said"The same kind of people who would name their pit bull Jesus!

Amazing.

**rushyrulz** · 09-7-2011, 04:38 PM

So there's a blonde a brunette and a redhead (yes it's one of these jokes xD)

After they all died from starvation after being trapped in an elevator, God decided that he would be cruel and ironic whilst deciding their fate. He said, "In front of you is a 100 step staircase. On each step I will tell a joke and they will get increasingly more funny with every step. If you show any signs of laughter at all before you get to the top, you'll go straight to hell."

So the brunette goes first and tries her hardest to not laugh at God's jokes, but on the 37th step, he tells a joke about a green mouse with some blue cheese (**** you FFRGreen) and she bursts out laughing which sends her straight to hell.

The redhead, confident that nothing can make her laugh, almost makes it to halfway before giggling at the funniest dead baby joke ever. A hole opens up in the ground and she plummets straight to hell.

The blonde shows amazing restraint by making it farther than the brunette and the redhead and eventually gets up to the 99th step. Before God even starts to tell his joke, the blonde busts out in tears laughing. "Why are you laughing? I didn't even tell the joke yet. You were so close to getting into my kingdom of heaven..," said God. The blonde replied, "BAHAHAHAHAHAR00flL!!!!1one I just got the first one!"

**phe0nixblade** · 09-7-2011, 08:29 PM

a dyslexic kid walks into a bra
buhdumtiss

**ninjaKIWI** · 09-7-2011, 08:45 PM

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Dave.

Dave who?

**nois-or-e** · 09-7-2011, 08:53 PM

ITT: mediocre anti-jokes

**pmonibuv1** · 09-7-2011, 09:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nois-or-e

ITT: mediocre anti-jokes

Mediocre?

**rushyrulz** · 09-7-2011, 09:14 PM

**Riotpolice** · 09-7-2011, 09:17 PM

What do grapes and babies have in common? They both give a little wine when squeezed!

**phe0nixblade** · 09-7-2011, 11:45 PM

why did the kid drop his ice cream cone?

he got hit by a bus

Arch0wl · 09-8-2011, 03:41 AM

What's red and smells like blue paint?

tryanothertimeok · 09-8-2011, 06:29 PM

What do you call four mexicans going off a cliff in a cadillac.
Disappointing.
You can fit a lot more in there.

jugglinguy · 09-9-2011, 08:42 PM

What turns a fruit into a vegetable?

**xXAll-ProXx** · 09-9-2011, 08:49 PM

what happened to the jew that walked into a wall with a b*ner?

dont care if i get banned

09-7-2011, 12:06 PM	#21
rushyrulz Digital Dancing! Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 80 billion club, NE Age: 31 Posts: 12,980	Re: The Joke Thread What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef! buhdum tss __________________

09-7-2011, 12:38 PM	#22
MrGiggles Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Skaia Age: 21 Posts: 2,846	Re: The Joke Thread a man walks into a bar his alcoholism is destroying his family __________________

09-7-2011, 12:40 PM	#23
MrGiggles Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Skaia Age: 21 Posts: 2,846	Re: The Joke Thread What's sad about 4 black people in a Cadillac going over a cliff? They were my friends. __________________

09-7-2011, 01:38 PM	#24
Calcium Deposit I am the liquor Join Date: May 2007 Location: Where ever evil lurks Age: 34 Posts: 706	Re: The Joke Thread Whats the difference between a pregnant woman and lightbulb? You can unscrew the lightbulb.

09-7-2011, 02:09 PM	#25
A2P FFR Veteran Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: nah Age: 34 Posts: 3,127	Re: The Joke Thread I never fucked a 10...but one night I fucked five 2's! A man finds a magic lamp on the beach. He rubs it, and a genie pops up and says "I will grant you 3 wishes. What is your first wish, mortal?" The man says "I have relatives in Hawaii, but it's too expensive to fly down there. I wish for a bridge connecting from San Fransisco to Hawaii." The genie slaps the man "Hey!" "You fool, I am a genie, I'm not god. Make another wish." so the man says "Okay...well, my girlfriend is a very loving woman, and I wouldn't trade her for the world. Sometimes though, I can't understand her...hell, I can't understand any woman for that matter laughs. Well genie, I wish that I could completely understand my girlfriend at least, so I can help her." ... "Okay, so you want that bridge 4 lanes or 6?"

09-7-2011, 02:55 PM	#26
V-Ormix Banned Join Date: Aug 2008 Posts: 4,677	Re: The Joke Thread my friend asked me how many tsunamis it takes to break a nuclear cooling system... I busted out laughing right there. what a terrible joke xD

09-7-2011, 03:06 PM	#27
m0de Marble Eater Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Joliet, Illinois Age: 39 Posts: 1,437	Re: The Joke Thread A burglar broke into a home. He heard a soft voice say,"Jesus is watching you". Thinking it was just his imagination, he continued his search. Again"Jesus is watching you". He turned his flashlight around, saw a parrot in a cage. He asked the parrot if he was the one talking. The parrot said yes. He asked the parrot his name, the parrot said, "Moses." The burglar asked, "What kind of people would name a parrot Moses?" The parrot said"The same kind of people who would name their pit bull Jesus!

09-7-2011, 04:38 PM	#29
rushyrulz Digital Dancing! Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 80 billion club, NE Age: 31 Posts: 12,980	Re: The Joke Thread So there's a blonde a brunette and a redhead (yes it's one of these jokes xD) After they all died from starvation after being trapped in an elevator, God decided that he would be cruel and ironic whilst deciding their fate. He said, "In front of you is a 100 step staircase. On each step I will tell a joke and they will get increasingly more funny with every step. If you show any signs of laughter at all before you get to the top, you'll go straight to hell." So the brunette goes first and tries her hardest to not laugh at God's jokes, but on the 37th step, he tells a joke about a green mouse with some blue cheese (**** you FFRGreen) and she bursts out laughing which sends her straight to hell. The redhead, confident that nothing can make her laugh, almost makes it to halfway before giggling at the funniest dead baby joke ever. A hole opens up in the ground and she plummets straight to hell. The blonde shows amazing restraint by making it farther than the brunette and the redhead and eventually gets up to the 99th step. Before God even starts to tell his joke, the blonde busts out in tears laughing. "Why are you laughing? I didn't even tell the joke yet. You were so close to getting into my kingdom of heaven..," said God. The blonde replied, "BAHAHAHAHAHAR00flL!!!!1one I just got the first one!" __________________ Last edited by rushyrulz; 09-7-2011 at 09:07 PM..

09-7-2011, 08:29 PM	#30
phe0nixblade Praise the sun mofo Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Lordran Age: 32 Posts: 4,281	Re: The Joke Thread a dyslexic kid walks into a bra buhdumtiss __________________

09-7-2011, 08:45 PM	#31
ninjaKIWI plain old ugly ass dumbas Join Date: Aug 2006 Age: 31 Posts: 3,303	Re: The Joke Thread Knock knock. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember him

09-7-2011, 08:53 PM	#32
nois-or-e SponCon Aficionado Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: doot~ Age: 38 Posts: 3,250	Re: The Joke Thread ITT: mediocre anti-jokes __________________

09-7-2011, 09:14 PM	#34
rushyrulz Digital Dancing! Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 80 billion club, NE Age: 31 Posts: 12,980	Re: The Joke Thread __________________

09-7-2011, 11:45 PM	#36
phe0nixblade Praise the sun mofo Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Lordran Age: 32 Posts: 4,281	Re: The Joke Thread why did the kid drop his ice cream cone? he got hit by a bus __________________

09-8-2011, 03:41 AM	#37
Arch0wl Banned Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: fb.com/a.macdonald.iv Age: 35 Posts: 6,344	Re: The Joke Thread What's red and smells like blue paint? red paint

09-8-2011, 06:29 PM	#38
tryanothertimeok FFR Player Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Chino, California Age: 34 Posts: 6	Re: The Joke Thread What do you call four mexicans going off a cliff in a cadillac. Disappointing. You can fit a lot more in there.

09-9-2011, 08:49 PM	#40
xXAll-ProXx FFR Veteran Join Date: Nov 2010 Posts: 2,040	Re: The Joke Thread what happened to the jew that walked into a wall with a b*ner? he broke his nose dont care if i get banned __________________ I have a dig bick.

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