The Story: Life, one day at a time (Part 1)

[jimcwx]

yoyo fo shizzle ma nizzle, dis me, da 1337 skeet tyrone givin u some lovin

aite so this is how ma day went
u know this is like some random shnizzle canadian snowy day rite, nd walkin by me is this FINE peice of work so i decided to hit taht rite.
so i was like wasup babe, u fine peice of ham, wanna hit this butcha up?
and she was like rollin her eyes at me so i decided to be like more gentlemenly u know wat im sayin holmz? chicks dig that shizza
aite then i was like yo leme take u to the beach, it'll be romantic babe, i'll catch a dolphin for u and cut it into little peices while chuckin them at ur head till ur unconcious then leave u dere with the dead dolphin carcass for the night then i'll come pick u up the nxt day, hows that sound babe? then she ran away
so i'm like just standin there thinkin... wtf did i do wrong... so i was like just standin int he snow all emo shiz for like an hour... then i felt like tacos and just forgot about wat happened.


Lesson of the day was never to ask a girl to go to the beach with you in the winter in Canada. If you do, the girl will just simply roll her eyes and walk away while secretly smiling at your face full of what the f***.

[Quigly]

Hahaha I think half of my brain just died.

[Gibson63]

"yoyo fo shizzle ma nizzle, dis me, da 1337 skeet tyrone givin u some lovin"

the first line makes people NOT read.

PS: wtf... lol

[jellygod]

not happening.

[Tokzic]

why is it that everyone who lives a decently close distance from me on the forums is a waste of a human being

[Sullyman2007]

Now that's what I call a quality piece of English literature.

Look foward to hearing much more from you.

Also, when can we expect part two?

[Redorigami]

Originally Posted by jimcwx

Hello dear friends, my name is Tyrone, and I have come here today in good spirits.

This is a story of a day in my life:
I live in Canada, and it was a typical day, the land blanketed in a fresh layer of snow. Suddenly, a figure of divine beauty caught my eye, so I decided to make a move.
I approached her and said, "Your figure reminds me of a fresh piece of ham, and I wish to be your butcher."
Her response was less than satisfactory, however, so I decided it would be in my best interest to try taking a more gentlemanly approach. After all, everyone knows that females respond better when treated with respect.
I then offered to take her on a date to the beach, promising a romantic evening. I proceeded to describe how I would risk my life catching her a dolphin, fighting against the wild beast to slay it as a sign of my virility, and how I would feed her the most exquisite food, and we would make love late into the night surrounded by the fruits of our love, and how I would sweep her off her feet the next morning, and we would live happily ever after. Unfortunately, I believe I scared her away, for when I turned around, she was gone.

I stood there, alone, for what seemed like hours, basking in my self pity and depression. Eventually I realized I was in need of nourishment, so I headed for the nearest restaurant and drank my troubles away.

Lesson of the day: I need to learn how to use proper ****ing grammar.

...

Oh.

[boondocks77]

Looks like the quality of threads in general on FFR is definitely improving..

[Bluearrowll]

We need more Devonins.

[jimcwx]

yoyo im back, don't rmber me dwag? it's me, da 1337 skeet tyrone, givin u some lovin
aite aite, heres how ma day went.
it's just like a typical random shnizzle snowy day in canada here.
i've got a damn fine piece of meat girl rite, like everythin bout her's amazing cept that i'm just missin one bit of lovin from her. what i'm missin? wait dawg, u'll find out by the end of me tellin u about ma day.
so like she works at a sperm donation storage place rite, so i put on ma mask and took out ma 9mm and drove to where she works. i step in, points the gun at her and asks her yo, does that lil tube beside u contain a specimen? and shes like ya, then i'm like yo drink dat up, shes like WHAT??? so i point the gun closer to her head and said yo women, u heard me, drink up, so she did. then i ask, hows that taste? shes says not bad, then i took off ma mask and says see babe, it ain't that hard is it.
the nxt day she broke up with me and i'm like wtf did i do wrong! she never told me.. so i stood outside in the snow for like an hour, then suddenly, i felt like tacos so i went and got some then forgot about that shizznut

Lesson of the day was if you want to accomplish something, never give up at it.

[dore]

These are very entertaining... thank you for bringing your unique literature to this forum.