my poem-i need you...to love me

[imajrockette]

I need you day and night and without you by my side i'm slowly dying...

I cry every night becuase now i know that you were lying.

You gave me cards and you gave me poems...all of them said "i love you" but i guess they were all just lies becuase now i'm all alone.

I miss you so much and i love you still...even though you put me through hell.

I'm sitting at home rereading your poems and remembering all those lies that you told me.

You said that you loved me and would never hurt me to.I guess they just were'nt true.

I would never hurt you or make you cry or even tell you one stupid lie.

I remember the first time i saw you.You immediately caught my eye and thats when i fell in love for the first time.

I thought we wer meant to be just you and me but that was yet another lie...that will never come true.

The main think that i wanted to tell you is that i need you with me so please come back,please love me more and don't hold back.

I wish that you had never lied and then i would'nt have to cry day and night.

I want you now,needed you then,just please come back so we can start again....

[championanwar]

I really like this poem. Quite sad, but i guess that was the meaning you were trying to portray.

[orly101]

wow, i looked at it for 10 seconds and i got bored :P

[Dimitri13]

yaaay more teen angsty crybaby poems!

[ShastaTwist]

Hey, hey...

I have an idea.

Instead of bashing her poems, why don't you write one so that we can all beat it to death too?

[toxicninja]

Originally Posted by Dimitri13

yaaay more teen angsty crybaby poems!

this

[phe0nixblade]

Originally Posted by toxicninja

this

is Spartaaaa!!!!

[bluguerrilla]

Originally Posted by ShastaTwist

Hey, hey...

I have an idea.

Instead of bashing her poems, why don't you write one so that we can all beat it to death too?

Ok, here we go:

Shatter the fragile
Glass broken never mended
Fire within dies



Bad enough? (I know it wasn't directed at me but I don't really care)

[lexis_is_icecold24]

Originally Posted by ShastaTwist

Hey, hey...

I have an idea.

Instead of bashing her poems, why don't you write one so that we can all beat it to death too?

Alright, go for it. This is an oldie..

"I'm For the Sun"

As links become the chain,
as drops become the rain,
as flames become the fire,
as voices become the choir,
as steps become a dance,
when can we,
you and me,
have our chance?

Don't run resonating Sun.
I fear of when the day is done,
the darkness that we may become.

[fido123]

lol feelings

[beaner692]

Originally Posted by Dimitri13

yaaay more teen angsty crybaby poems!

wow, what an asshole =D

[bluguerrilla]

Originally Posted by lexis_is_icecold24

Alright, go for it. This is an oldie..

"I'm For the Sun"

As links become the chain,
as drops become the rain,
as flames become the fire,
as voices become the choir,
as steps become a dance,
when can we,
you and me,
have our chance?

Don't run resonating Sun.
I fear of when the day is done,
the darkness that we may become.

Bashing: The first half sounds like a kinky valentine's day card.

Other than that I actually liked it.

[ShastaTwist]

I didn't mean in her thread.

Read the rules. :]

[bluguerrilla]

Originally Posted by ShastaTwist

I didn't mean in her thread.

Read the rules. :]

Well mine was more of a response to this thread and there's no way I'm making a thread for any of my poetry, not gonna happen...

[ShastaTwist]

In any case, to the author:

As I've said in your previously posted poems, you really need to work on taking your long lines and turning them into stanzas and multiple lines. The long lines and lack of stanzas make your poem look sloppy and more like a story.

[Windscarredfaith]

Nice idea and poem, but you should run it by Spell Check first.

[orly101]

Originally Posted by toxicninja

this

Originally Posted by phe0nixblade

is Spartaaaa!!!!

LMAO!

[Dimitri13]

Originally Posted by ShastaTwist

Hey, hey...

I have an idea.

Instead of bashing her poems, why don't you write one so that we can all beat it to death too?

Lol, I KNOW I can't write poems, so I don't. People should write good poems, not angsty emokid crybaby poems.

[ShastaTwist]

Originally Posted by Dimitri13

Lol, I KNOW I can't write poems, so I don't. People should write good poems, not angsty emokid crybaby poems.

People write poetry to get their emotions out.

You probably don't belong in the Literature forum.

[Dimitri13]

Originally Posted by ShastaTwist

People write poetry to get their emotions out.

You probably don't belong in the Literature forum.

There's a difference between angsty emokid poems and emotional poems.

[Edit] There's also a difference between a poet, and an attention-whore.