FFR Awards 2008 - The Results

[TheRapingDragon]

The stage is set. The lights in place, my sanity has been put aside for a brief period of time so I guess we need no further time-wasting.

We've got half a pack of idiots, there's 2 hours to go, it's dark, and I'm typing in sunglasses. HIT IT.

It's the FFR AWARDS RESULTS 2008(may god help us all).

To begin the event we start with our posters. They make the site what it is, be that in a positive or negative way. Without the following people FFR wouldn't be the schizophrenic bastard child we all know and love. The first award is for Friendliest Poster, our nominees are HammyMcSquirrel and EAGAMES. The winner, EAGAMES. Well done.

Least Friendly Poster was always going to have StarGroup100 and Grandiagod as the nominees. The crowd was tense, Grandi had been fighting for this award for months, but in a shock victory this award goes to Stargroup100, better luck next year, Grandi.

Moving on to those who help us in our time of need. The Most Helpful Poster award goes, quite rightly, to Devonin. Destiny was a close second but when you think that these results would not be posted if not for Devonin counting every. single. tally. then you realise how much he deserved to win it.

Least Helpful Poster goes to, wait what, we have a tie, first is that stalwart of ideas, rzr, ever an ideas man he just could never understand the phrase "shut the hell up and stop talking", the other winner is Grandiagod, sparkle on my son.

Biggest Postwhore is up next and rzr is still up on stage complaining about having to win the previous award. He's telling us, in great detail, about how his ideas are actually constructive and useful and how we all could do this, or that, or the other. Oh look he's gone and posted another 1000 times. Look shut up a second, if we give you the postwhore award will you just go the hell away, please. Tass was a (not) close second but will always remain in the hearts of those veterans who know how bad he really is.

Most Random Poster is a shocking win for Pokelda. The guy who does nothing but talk about shota, gays, himself and "cute" things wins the "most random" award. Runner up was Chauster, a person who I was led to believe only talked about Stepmania. Perhaps next year we'll have the "clueless" award and I'll present it to all of FFR.

The Who Am I award went to somebody. I'm not quite sure, not like it matters.

Svaz stole the competition to win Best Newbie 2008. A decisive win when you know Svaz's shocking secret. Tables was runner up with his eclectic brand of humour stealing the limelight in This Looks Shopped.

Worst Newbie 2008 was between two people, Raptorwhatever and Footbullnumbers. In the end a winner couldn't be chosen, so let's just give the award to both of them and collectively call them the worst new members this year. Go get ****ed guys! You deserve it.

Best Avatar was a close fought battle, with three nominees. Omega, Sprite, who_cares. The mods duked it out and eventually took each other out (have you ever seen a stone cold stunner administered to a ghost who just happens to be eating your legs. It's quite messy) leaving who_cares to pick up the win.


Party on.

Worst Avatar, for yet another year, goes to our good old pal Synthlight. Honestly Synth, perhaps you need to get a new company logo.

Best and Worst Signature was always going to be tough. How were you supposed to get through all those bad signatures to find one good one. Even, how could you get through all those bad signatures and pick just one. Still, you guys managed and Kommisar[os] won the best with his adaptation of "If it's Japanese, it ain't broke":



rzr picks up yet another award for having the worst signature with his adaptation of "If I quote people maybe they'll like me and think I have a sense of humour!" Then supporting one of his inexplicably horrible threads.

The next couple of awards are always controversial, we all know staff are amazing. All of them, always. Yeah, anyway, I'm sure their attention span has cut out by now so I can just say whatever. Best Moderator goes to good old Devonin, one of the few to consistently follow the rules and do his job how it should be done. Best Administrator goes to CHARDISH!














Ahahaha yeah right.

It goes to the only one to turn up and answer questions and help people, Tasselfoot. Commiserations to the runners up there, Sprite= (by one vote he lost, being a new mod I guess he has a lot to try to prove and this paid off), and MalDON (the penis is mightier than the walrus).

Best Overall and Worst Poster wasn't very close. Runaway winners were Devonin (#3, get the trophy cabinet) and GG_Guru (get the sick bag).

Sexiest Male and Female was a confusing affair where people didn't seem to understand the simple gender defining traits that some of us have. None-the-less our winners (each by only one vote) were Specforces and Passivegirl (8 hour whore and stretchy the close runners up). All I can say is where were the votes for Wind? Was FFya the only place where we all saw how hot Wind has become over the last year. Out of nowhere.


Non-Confirming Army hotness


I could play Mario with you all day. Honestly, level 2-1 where I'll jump all over your goombas. I'll grab your koopa shells and just throw them into the great abyss of darkness down down below. Deep darkness but oh look an elevator up to heaven. Hell, Mario can warp anywhere he wants on those.

Where was I? Awards, what, just cut that part then. This is live? INTERNET LIVE **** YOU CAN'T FIX THAT. Cut to camera two.

Hmm? Oh hi there, the next award is for Most and Least Missed. I'll not even acknowledge who the runner up was as it was a joke vote, it had to be. The winner is that formerly awesome at strangeprogram and flight of the bumblebee, multiplayer mod, Scottish. Least missed was a tie between Arch-arch-arch-... and Madmatt. They don't even get bolded names.

Ok, I don't care about any of you now, let's move on to the other thing that keeps FFR on its metaphorical legs, threads. These can make or break a forum and in recent times people have claimed that the trend in threads is leaning more towards the "intelligently inclined". Still, we have decent people who can still drum up a thread or two.

Most Interesting Critical Thinking Discussion goes to The Death Penalty. Ironically a thread made by the person a lot of us dislike, rzr.

Funniest GB Thread goes to This Looks Shopped.

Most Enjoyable Chit-Chat Thread was always going to be hilarious. Shameful Confessions and the very voting thread of these awards were runners up (shows how bad this all was) but the winner was Post Your Picture. Evidently we're all here just to gawk at each other half naked, not caring about substance but merely about looks, this is turning into a proper awards then.

Best FFya Thread never got going. 5 threads got a single vote (for those who could actually read and picked an FFya exclusive thread). Best Thread 2008 was never going to be close, Ghost Of The Revolution wins. FishFish truly made a masterpiece there, though FFya made it, FishFish was nice enough to bring it to the bin.

Worst Thread 2008 was slightly unusual in that people have voted for a group of threads rather than a single thread, those being "what's the new menu music" threads. However due to the rules this has been discluded and the joint winners are This Looks Shopped, FFR Scores, 1 Mil Get, McCain Thread, and Happy Birthday Nyokou. I'm sure you don't want to see the worst threads so I won't link them. Obviously we have a few jokers around the podiums but hey, raging rapids are always funny.

I'm bored of threads now, back to how those dastardly posters make us feel. No, I'm not talking about that warm tingly feeling we get when jchinzilla posts, I'm talking about emotions. Funniest Poster goes to, who? Kairon. Again, who? Least Funny Poster(s) goes to a group of losers who need to read more Dr McNinja and less CAD for their jokes, step up Rubin0, GG_Guru, rzr (ho ho), and Phynx.

Smartest Poster goes to that troubadour of linguistics. A splendorous poster by the name of Devonin. Don't worry man, I forgive that you still miss my obscure intelligent humour, it's ok.

Stupidiest Poster gets another knock on the head, it's GG_Guru. Did you know that GGG stands for Geman Goo Girls. They love getting bukkake and pee, normally together, while still pleasuring men. Really, the name is very apt.

Most Talented goes to the guy who spends 16 hours a day on Kongregate, then goes to sleep and does rubix cubes in his sleep, it's Mr Rubix.

Most Interesting Poster goes to, oh not again, it's Devonin (#5, better reinforce that trophy cabinet).

Moving on to awards Devonin can't possibly win we have Best FFR Music Artist. Deserving winner is KgZ, the person who's music we wanted as the main menu music, ne pas être. Best Artistic Arty Art Person goes to another unknown (to me), Renevatia. Perhaps he/she can display their art for us all to ooh and aah over.

The next person to get a power trip and become Next Moderator was again between Hammy and EAGAMES. In their last encounter in these awards EAGAMES walked off with the award, well guess what, HammyMcSquirrel has gone and won this duel. Next Admin is going to be the person who most recently became a moderator, Sprite-, apparently this kid is going right to the top.

Next Ban was going to our dear friend rzr but I'm afraid madmatt went and got himself banned at the end of the voting thread and so in a shock decision he wins the award. The next User Most Likely To Leave will either be Laggy or rzr. Laggy has commitments outside of hitting 4 arrows in time with music and rzr has to go and tell his school about this neat one time only idea...

Where would we be without FFR's amazing game. This is the foundation of getting new people to join (apparently, the forums are just "here"). As such we have to care about files and stuff. Best FFR File 2008 goes to the 100k song, Planet Karma, the magnum opus from Stargroup100 has it all, though few will get to experience it. Worst FFR File goes to the ball-busting, RSI inducing, Death Piano. Hey, remember that time soulstone got an amazing score on it? Yeah, neither do I.

The FFR Gamewhore goes to Reptile3141 by a landslide. The Up and Coming FFRer is our friendliest of posters, EAGAMES, here's hoping he can stick to our hopes and make us proud in the years to come.

Now, finally, we come to our final award of the evening. Can we have the lights turned down please, oh, wait, what the hell is wrong with the screen, oh fuc...

WHO THE **** DECIDED TO VOTE FOR PEOPLE LIKE PHYNX IN THIS CATEGORY. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND HOW TO READ, WHAT THIS AWARD WAS ABOUT WAS AN AMAZING PERSON WHO EPITOMISES FFR. DOES PHYNX "I'LL BLOW YOU ALL WITH MY MONEY LIPS" HONESTLY EXEMPLIFY FFR, NO, HE DOES NOT. GET A ****ING GRIP.

...k, oh, are we back? What happened. Anyway, dim the lights and shine the circle of light just. over. there! Perfect.

On August 15th 2005 (10 days after your faithful host joined) a young man entered the forums of FFR. With an unpronounceable name and a hand bursting with energy he immediately set to work on the game, his mind cared not for simple pleasures but rather was greedy, like a young flash entrepreneur he started to calculate his possible earnings. No section was safe as our young award winner asked question after question.

Eventually his skills started to show and people took notice. Who was this guy with the scorpion avatar? He rocked the keyboard like a hurricane and moved up the ranks. Winning tournaments and talking constantly in the Brag Board got him put on the staff. Making technically proficient files like EHHS added a second title to his name. A turbulent affair with real life caused controversy when he started to fade away from the community. However, in a flash of brilliance he came back and started to get his rank down. In a thrilling showdown with Laggy he won the official tournament by a whisker worth of points.

Nowadays, Shash spends his time regularly in real life, opting to post only the odd time at FFR. His fingers are surely being put to better use so who are we to condemn him. Certianly he made FFR a better place and his talents made us all try to be just that little bit better. With all fair due, come on up here, Shash. Claim your Hall of Fame award and take your immortal place in the FFR Hall of Fame.

*Applause* *Applause*

Who will join you next year? Only time can tell.

And so we end our awards with a fond farewell. It may not have gone smoothly. Voting may have lost some of us a few brain cells, but hey, we had fun, and isn't that the most important thing in life, love, and all tribulations.

[robertsona]

first
EDIT:
results look fine

hahaha
first
EDIT: rofl these results are weird
also im guessing you changed them around w/ the hall of fame because you didn't like the people the voters voted for?
nice.

[stevo911]

"Worst FFR File goes to the ball-busting, RSI inducing, Death Piano. Hey, remember that time soulstone got an amazing score on it? Yeah, neither do I."
rofl

[virus003]

Oh my, I didn't win anything.

[pokelda]

i didnt deserve most random award?

[dashoe93]

yay I dont get anything. and i dont really care

look at this useless post its useless.

[TwilightPrincess]

Originally Posted by pokelda

i didnt deserve most random award?

Forget that, why didn't you win sexiest female?

p.s. TRD, you spelt Kommi's name wrong. it's kommisar[os] not komissar[os] ;D

[SethSquall]

Hopefully this thread will win worst thread in next years contest if we're all unfortunate enough to see it happen again.

[TheRapingDragon]

Originally Posted by robertsona

also im guessing you changed them around w/ the hall of fame because you didn't like the people the voters voted for?
nice.

No. Shash was outright winner. Phynx was runner up which is just hilariously bad judgment.

Originally Posted by pokelda

i didnt deserve most random award?

No.

Originally Posted by TwilightPrincess

p.s. TRD, you spelt Kommi's name wrong. it's kommisar[os] not komissar[os] ;D

Oh, thanks, I'll fix that.

[Syhto]

Those were the lamest awards ever. Tons of people never got to vote, then tons of people that did vote voted stupidly.
Edit: At least Devonin won enough

[NFD]

Awww, I won nothing....rzr's going to be happy.

[HammyMcSquirrel]

Hahaha, I like the additional comments on a lot of the winners. Thanks for running the awards this year, TRD.

Edit: Oh, and awesome, voted to be next mod. Thank you to those who voted for me!

[SethSquall]

Although thanks to reaper for making the most out of this and making it funny. It makes the taste of this abomination considerably sweeter. I laughed. In actuality this thread isn't the problem, it's the contest.

I've never heard of half of these.

[who_cares973]

woop best avi

[lumphoboextreme]

wow this is the worst set of awards FFR has ever had... ever. hell i haven't heard of nearly half the people who won awards this year.

[SethSquall]

I'm not.



Ohhhhh snap


c wut i did

[stavie33]

Wow, I was expecting a "most likely to be daman" award or something, I mean all 15+ of his alt accounts got banned this year, and he also won 2007's worst poster and stupidest poster award, lol

Also, I'm glad I didn't win anything, if I did, it would probably be bad, and I'm sooo happy that I'm not considered a stupid or mean poster Yay! GG_Guru, I'm sorry, you deserved those awards, I wish I didn't have to say it, but I've read the majority of your posts and damn, you will never be number 1 by the way, ever...most members who have been playing for 3+ years have never come that close, and with your scores and the amount of time you've been a member, number 1 is just out of the question, a fabrication of your mind, it will never reach this wonderful world of reality, but you can always get in the top 400! Hit tier 4, then we'll talk about top...anything?

[funmonkey54]

hmm. Some not-so-surprising outcomes.
Well, can't wait for next year!

[argo15]

Will you guys be mad at me if I tell you i introduced rzr to FFR?

[Tasselfoot]

i think there should be some checks and balances. nobody finds it odd that devonin did all the vote tallies and he managed to win 5 categories? nah, jk. <3.

ps - amusing that stargroup had best and worst file... also, he's currently site banned. in case anyone cares.