Old 12-1-2005, 10:11 PM   #1
Schrammbledeggs
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Default Adoption

This entry is going to be about adoption and some people may not agree with my views but then again that's always been the case. I was discussing adoption with my friends last night and I told them that I would NEVER under any circumstances (unless it saved them from death I suppose) EVER adopt a child. This is because I don't want any child that I didn't help create. I just feel that I wouldn't be able to love some random child from the orphanage as much as I would my own flesh and blood. And I owe the child more than just to think of him as "the last resort." Because that IS how I would view the child. I realize it isn't their fault they're in an orphanage but I've spent a TON of my life thinking about how the best thing I can do with my life is being a dad and how much I love children. And I love and have too much respect for children to go down to the Children Store and pick one out like they were a cantaloupe at the produce stand. To me, having children has been a dream and it's an all or nothing deal for me. Meaning I'd either have my own kids or I wouldn't have any at all. That's just how I roll with the whole adoption issue. I would do en vitro fertilization which is just when you take your sperm and the woman takes her egg and they fertilize and the doctor puts it in some other surrogate mother's womb and she has the baby. I would do this because it's still my sperm...it's still my kid. I just don't want to have somebody else's kid.
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Old 12-1-2005, 10:37 PM   #2
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Default RE: Adoption

It is a little sad to me that you would refuse a child because you didn't "help create" it. It is my opinion that there are already enough children in the world already, and we don't need to be putting more out there before all the ones that already exist have homes and families.

I appreciate the fact that you at least acknowledge your inability to care for a child that isn't yours, and obviously you're not going to be adopting some random kid. But if your wife/girlfriend/whatever cheated on you and had someone else's child, and you didn't know--wouldn't you still love that child? And if you then found out, would you lose the love for a child you had begun to raise? How about if you fell in love with a woman who already had children? Would you refuse to be with her because you couldn't love her children?

However, your impression of adoption seems frankly ignorant to me. Have you ever researched it? It is NOTHING like "going down to the Children Store and picking one out like they were a cantaloupe at the produce stand." There is paperwork, interviews, sometimes psychological evaluations to see if the couple (and adoption agencies usually turn down single parents) are fit to have custody of a child. It angers me to know that just anyone can have a kid of their own if they're fertile, without needing to go through any kind of parenting class, while someone who is mature enough to know that they want a child and is financially and mentally able to support it, but simply can't have it on their own, have to wade through the bureacracy and often years-long processes of the adoption agencies.

I do disagree that adoption is the "last resort." In-vitro fertilization, surrogate mothers, etc. seem to me to be the last resort--because it's just as, if not more so, difficult, time-consuming, and emotion-draining as adopting a child would be. Not to mention that if you need to resort to all of that...aren't you passing on genetic and hereditary problems to those children? Why would you want to start your kid off in life KNOWING that there's already something wrong with them?

Lastly, I feel sorry for you that "the best thing you can do with your life is to be a dad." Don't you have any dreams that are solely your own, without depending on a child to fulfill them? You love kids, I get it. But they are not the end-all and be-all of life, and I hate to see people throwing away their own dreams and ambitions just for the children--whether it's by accident or by choice.
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Old 12-7-2005, 04:47 PM   #3
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Default RE: Adoption

Okay, my views are a little whacked, so bear with me. They're also a bit depressing. So you might not want to listen to me if you are trying to get some faith in humanity, because I have very little.

Okay. Up until a few months ago, my view on adoption was: if I'm having a kid, it's going to be an adopted kid. There's no way I was having a child. And why? Well, when I watched The Matrix and heard Smith say that humans are the cancer of this planet, I was awed; that someone else had had the exact same thought as me. Humans are the worst thing that has happened to the earth, like, ever. We're killing everything and disrupting everything. Pollution and shit like that.

Let me get this straight: I was FOR adopting because I think life is precious - once it has started. A life that never existed is no loss. Therefore, humans slowly dying out was my ideal. I don't want ANYONE to die - I think it's sad. But everyone has to die eventually, and nobody has to be born.

But then recently, I was reading some articles about future space flights - and I started thinking, hmm, that's one idea I've always liked. I've always thought it'd be wicked cool if humans somehow "took over" another planet and set it to life. You know, took an arable-yet-lifeless planet and turned it into a thriving planet with a nice atmosphere and lots of life. I would really like that.

So then I thought.... wait... that totally contrasts with my old idea, that humans ought to die out because we're killing earth. If humans die out... we will never find another planet to live on.

So now I just have the typical view: it's nice to adopt, but many people like to have kids of their own. Meh. It's life. It's what happens. I'd probably consider adopting a kid and then having a kid, or something like that. I don't know if having a kid and then adopting one is the best idea, because the adopted kid might feel as though they could never be as special to you as your birth child - and indeed, you might even feel the same way. But if I had the adopted kid first, there would be no competition, or less. The adopted child already knows we love them, and the family will grow up with them, rather than them being thrust into the middle of an already started family.
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Old 12-7-2005, 05:24 PM   #4
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Default RE: Adoption

Though I am definitely not against adoption, I won't address it because everyone has addressed everything worth saying already. Concerning having children, I definitely want to have at least one child. Why? One of the typical reasons - I want my genes and blood to run as long as they can, as I am an arrogant dude and think I rock. Logically that's sort of true - good minds have run in my family, and I want them to continue. Also, I look at all the children that are spoiled or do drugs or other stupid things, and I think, "Like hell my kid's going to do that."

Summary: I want kids because I'm arrogant and competitive. Huttah instincts.
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Old 12-7-2005, 06:04 PM   #5
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Default RE: Adoption

I was at the doctors office a few weeks back, and there was a group of old people chatting next to me. One of their sons(he was married) had adopted a baby girl from China.
I don't know if you know the situation in China(and maybe southeast Asia, too), but parents are ditching baby girls left and right. As you know, parents can only have one child in China(it is possible to legally have a second baby, I'm just not sure how). For social and economic reasons, parents choose the boy.
This mainly pertains to folks living in the countryside, but when a woman has a baby, a few scenarios can occur:
-they keep him/her
-they have an abortion(mostly only possible in cities)
-they give it to a humanitarian group
-they sell the baby to humanitarian groups, some of whom are not legal.

Selling the baby can be profitable. This is an incentive for some in the countryside who are dirt poor. The babies are resold in places like America for a range of prices. The old people's son had to fork over $50,000(!!!).

You're probably thinking how this could be, but think about their situation for a moment.

Still, I think it's horrible for the children. Whey will probably have an easier and happier life with their adopted parents. Or maybe not. We all know there are some bad parents out there. Plus, there's always drugs/alcohol/violence/bad influences/social issues to mess up someone's life here.
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Old 12-8-2005, 02:19 PM   #6
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Default RE: Adoption

so rediahs went from Rachel Carson to Robert Heinlein... anyone else find that hilarious?
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