Go Back   Flash Flash Revolution: Community Forums > General Discussion > Critical Thinking
Register FAQ Community Calendar Today's Posts Search

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 10-19-2005, 12:34 AM   #1
MalReynolds
CHOCK FULL O' NUTRIENTS
FFR Veteran
 
MalReynolds's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: A Denny's Bathroom.
Age: 33
Posts: 6,571
Send a message via AIM to MalReynolds
Default Only a Mother Could Love (MATURE CONTENT)

Very short story.

-

Soft wax dripped from the candle, finding its place on the floor next to the filthy bed. The sheets stained of semen and lust were wrapped around the two lovers, but it was of no matter. This was cheap love, corner love that would come and go just as quickly as the man had placed the cash on the table, just as quickly as she had said, “Yes”, and just as quickly as he had gotten his pants off.

But it was love none-the-less, the melding of two bodies in ecstasy. For her it wasn’t much more than a feeling, and for him she was little more than a receptacle, but there was a sincere aggression behind the way they moved, in rhythm and in patience, the whore’s hunger finally being satiated after so long, and the man growing tense.

The closet door sat slightly open, casting a thin ray of light over the room, onto the bed and across the whore’s soft breast. The man concentrated, not wanting to end, but the game ends, the ship comes to harbor. He quickly falls asleep, now nothing more than a baby.

The woman grows hungry, but waits. The room grows darker as the light in the closet retracts, and the receipt of the cheap room falls to the floor into the wax, face up.

“$40.00 2 hour special!”

There was a definitive creaking, like that of a see-saw as the door to the closet began to open. The springs on the broken bed began to sound as the whore backed away, preparing herself for the ritual to come. Thirteen, but it still came as a shock each time she saw it, never growing desensitized but always growing more engrossed.

The thing climbed onto the bed next to the man, grinning, revealing row upon row of teeth. It hunched over the man’s chest and slowly licked the sweat, growing excited and beginning to drool thick bile onto the bed. The whore took a seat, and like a child watched the creature move through a mask of her fingers laced loosely over her eyes.

His eye’s opened, and he began to scream, but it was choked off by the creature’s tongue sliding into his mouth. It cut off the air supply briefly, enough to make the man panic… He tried inhaling, but all that accomplished was excitement from the creature as the tongue was pulled rhythmically with the painful gasps.

They were no good dead, but unconscious was fine. And all it could do is wait for the man to tire himself out.

A sharp claw slid up the mans leg, before cutting into the soft flesh behind the scrotum. The creature squealed, it’s eyes growing wide. It laid down at the feet of the man and opened it’s legs, revealing another mouth and set of teeth.

The toes went in first, throwing blood over the sheets and exciting the creature. Sharply, the man awoke and began to scream, but this only excited the creature more. It ravenously ate the legs, before stopping and reaching orgasm, the waves rolling over the creature’s body. It began to sweat, and its pallid grey eyes rolled back into the misshapen skull… All too soon, it was time to begin again.

It ate up to the mans chest, climaxing again before he finally died. There would be no more pleasure from this lifeless husk. The creature unhinged its jaw and consumed the rest of the man from the head down.

When there was no more to eat or abuse, it began to slide back into the closet. The whore looked at it with loving eyes, with a mother’s eyes as it began to shut the closet door.

“Leave it open just a crack… I want you to see mommy work.”

The light in the closet went on again, and the beam of light slid across the bed. Grey eyes watched from inside the closed as Mother removed the sheets and threw them into the closet on top of other sheets.

She was already running late and had six more appointments to keep today.

-

Mal
__________________
"A new take on the epic fantasy genre... Darkly comic, relatable characters... twisted storyline."

"Readers who prefer tension and romance, Maledictions: The Offering, delivers... As serious YA fiction, Ill give it five stars out of five. As a novel? Four and a half." - Liz Ellor


My new novel:

Maledictions: The Offering.

Now in Paperback!
MalReynolds is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-19-2005, 12:38 AM   #2
whorlichan
Tiny Plastic Meat
 
whorlichan's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: The Valley, Los Angeles
Age: 36
Posts: 669
Send a message via AIM to whorlichan
Default RE: Only a Mother Could Love (MATURE CONTENT)

Christ, Mal. Where do you come up with this stuff? Eerie. But your setting descriptions and stuff are getting better.
__________________
Goddess of Chocolate Sauce
First ever graduate of the Quetzacoatino Academy for Aspiring Deities
My lame LJ
My friend Cassie's amazing photography
whorlichan is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-19-2005, 12:56 AM   #3
MalReynolds
CHOCK FULL O' NUTRIENTS
FFR Veteran
 
MalReynolds's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: A Denny's Bathroom.
Age: 33
Posts: 6,571
Send a message via AIM to MalReynolds
Default RE: Only a Mother Could Love (MATURE CONTENT)

I honestly have no idea where this story came from. I was thinking about having a spider come out, but that's so cliched, I just decided to ditch the idea of a monster coming out for something more familiar.

Haunt yo dreams, biatch.

Mal

PS: I fully expect Tass to get in here at some point tomorrow, pick at the grammar and then fuss at me for not seeding the story in reality.
__________________
"A new take on the epic fantasy genre... Darkly comic, relatable characters... twisted storyline."

"Readers who prefer tension and romance, Maledictions: The Offering, delivers... As serious YA fiction, Ill give it five stars out of five. As a novel? Four and a half." - Liz Ellor


My new novel:

Maledictions: The Offering.

Now in Paperback!
MalReynolds is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-19-2005, 05:18 AM   #4
Chromer
Hookers and Blow
FFR Veteran
 
Chromer's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: You heard the robot. No fun.
Age: 31
Posts: 4,981
Send a message via AIM to Chromer Send a message via Yahoo to Chromer
Default RE: Only a Mother Could Love (MATURE CONTENT)

I was half expecting a tentacle or two. =/
__________________
Chromer is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-19-2005, 07:36 AM   #5
Tasselfoot
Retired BOSS
Retired StaffFFR Simfile AuthorFFR Veteran
 
Tasselfoot's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Widget Heaven
Age: 36
Posts: 25,184
Send a message via AIM to Tasselfoot Send a message via MSN to Tasselfoot Send a message via Skype™ to Tasselfoot
Default RE: Only a Mother Could Love (MATURE CONTENT)

Actually, the story isn't that bad... considering its extremely short length. That isn't to say that there weren't 1-2 grammar errors. But overall, it was unique and better.

Then again, as I'm always one who loves a long book... it makes me wonder how the "child" came to be.
__________________
RIP
Tasselfoot is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-19-2005, 10:10 AM   #6
A_Geno
FFR Player
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Posts: 1
Default RE: Only a Mother Could Love (MATURE CONTENT)

...WTF?? i just wanted to see what this was.. but damn man...
A_Geno is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-19-2005, 03:42 PM   #7
Eyoshi
Certified Calendarwhore
FFR Veteran
 
Eyoshi's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Council is not in session.
Age: 30
Posts: 1,044
Send a message via AIM to Eyoshi Send a message via Skype™ to Eyoshi
Default

Wow...Creepy. The story wouldn't have as much of an eerie feel if you were to use your original idea of a spider.
Alhtough, it makes me wonder what the creature is. =/
__________________
Eyoshi is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-19-2005, 03:55 PM   #8
talisman
Resident Penguin
FFR Simfile AuthorFFR Veteran
 
talisman's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2003
Age: 34
Posts: 4,598
Send a message via AIM to talisman
Default

what was the "child" symbolic of?

but yeah this was better than your other stuff, I think.
talisman is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-19-2005, 08:36 PM   #9
Bahamut-X
MN is too cold
FFR Simfile AuthorFFR Veteran
 
Bahamut-X's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: A place
Age: 28
Posts: 3,382
Send a message via AIM to Bahamut-X
Default

Mal, you're really weird.

Still it was pretty good.
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by talisman
the first time I saw a black man (I was like 2, this is a story that's been told to me) it was in line at a store or something. I said, "Look, Mommy, a gorilla!" really loudly.
Quote:
Originally Posted by SuperWarZoid
You guys made me realize something. Im jesus. I am here to bring the good news. There is hope. if you cease to be gay, there is hope.

"You shall not be gay"
This is my only commandment
Bahamut-X is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-19-2005, 10:01 PM   #10
MalReynolds
CHOCK FULL O' NUTRIENTS
FFR Veteran
 
MalReynolds's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: A Denny's Bathroom.
Age: 33
Posts: 6,571
Send a message via AIM to MalReynolds
Default

The reason the creature is never exactly detailed is because part of the horror of this piece is you creating the creature in your mind from the details given.

I'm scared of spiders, but not everyone is... There is a universal fear in the unknown.

Mal
__________________
"A new take on the epic fantasy genre... Darkly comic, relatable characters... twisted storyline."

"Readers who prefer tension and romance, Maledictions: The Offering, delivers... As serious YA fiction, Ill give it five stars out of five. As a novel? Four and a half." - Liz Ellor


My new novel:

Maledictions: The Offering.

Now in Paperback!
MalReynolds is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-19-2005, 10:49 PM   #11
Eyoshi
Certified Calendarwhore
FFR Veteran
 
Eyoshi's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Council is not in session.
Age: 30
Posts: 1,044
Send a message via AIM to Eyoshi Send a message via Skype™ to Eyoshi
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by MalReynolds
The reason the creature is never exactly detailed is because part of the horror of this piece is you creating the creature in your mind from the details given.
I know. I guess my wondering can yield many results.
Sometimes, the best way to have effect is to let the mind of the reader create the image to the wildest extent of his or her mind.
As for me, I don't like horror-genre media, so I guess what comes into my mind is not as horrifying as the image created by the other.

But nonetheless, it's a nice story, complete with the horror effect. It would be have been better if you had posted this on Halloween.
__________________
Eyoshi is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-19-2005, 11:09 PM   #12
ckj846
FFR Player
 
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Fremont, California
Age: 30
Posts: 2,437
Send a message via AIM to ckj846
Default

^ I agree. i thought it was kind of freaky... My favorite part was when the creature was having an orgasm from eating the man.... Sick, but funny at the same time... hehe
O_o
__________________
pyro31191: TELL EVERYONE YOU WANT TO TAKE IT IN THE ASS NOW
pyro31191: rofl
pyro31191: You should tell them earlier though
pyro31191: so they can buy dildos instead of fleshlights
ckj846 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-20-2005, 06:43 PM   #13
Hr2
FFR Player
 
Hr2's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Pennsylvania
Age: 31
Posts: 2,350
Send a message via AIM to Hr2 Send a message via MSN to Hr2
Default

I'm lost between the mother helping her child get sex or whether she's helping him/her eat.
__________________
Hr2 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-22-2005, 12:44 PM   #14
FishFishRevolution
GotR Creator
FFR Veteran
 
FishFishRevolution's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Vi sitter hr i venten Current Band: The National
Age: 33
Posts: 7,251
Send a message via AIM to FishFishRevolution Send a message via Yahoo to FishFishRevolution Send a message via Skype™ to FishFishRevolution
Default

WHAT.

A.

Good story, Mal. You've done it again! *applauds*
__________________
FishFishRevolution is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-22-2005, 03:32 PM   #15
Eyoshi
Certified Calendarwhore
FFR Veteran
 
Eyoshi's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Council is not in session.
Age: 30
Posts: 1,044
Send a message via AIM to Eyoshi Send a message via Skype™ to Eyoshi
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Hr2
I'm lost between the mother helping her child get sex or whether she's helping him/her eat.
I thought the term ''mommy'' was used more in a figurative sense. There seems to be strong between the two, but they aren't related by blood.

Instead, I think the prostitute happens to be sadistic, but the cause of this comes from something that happened to her. Perhaps, this might be in a sense, revenge for something. Then she one days finds this creature, takes it in, and instantly feels the need to keep it...

Of course, my last paragraph was kind of far-fetched. But, this story allows a lot of open-ended discussions and interpretations, which is a fun way to extend the enjoyment of reading this story.
__________________
Eyoshi is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump



All times are GMT -5. The time now is 11:33 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.1
Copyright ©2000 - 2021, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Copyright FlashFlashRevolution