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Old 03-1-2021, 10:47 PM   #1
Hateandhatred
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Default March 2021: 31 days game review challenge

Sup guys, long time to see! I'll be cross posting the challenge I'm doing on Facebook these days since everyone who's helped completing my grid is also a member on here. I also figure you might be interested in this stuff, and I'd love if some discussion could spawn from the challenge.

Note that the reviews won't be super complicated, or else I'll burn out pretty quickly.

Here's the schedule.

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Old 03-1-2021, 10:56 PM   #2
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Default Re: March 2021: 31 days game review challenge



Sup everyone!

Back in June, my bro Félix convinced me to do a one month video game challenge about video game music. I was initially reluctant to commit to it, but it ended up being fun enough so that I'd want to do something like that again, and that time is now! Basically, for the whole month, I'll be posting a small overview of a video game that best represents whatever theme corresponds to that day on the grid, on the written date. I initially didn't know what to do exactly, but after talking to T-Force about it, he sent me a basic version of this grid which only had 24 tiles. The additional 7 tiles were decided by other people, who are conveniently all members of the Flashflashrevolution community. As an added rule, I'll only do one game per franchise. I've already made a list of picks by never using a console more than once, and it was pretty easy, so this extra rule should pose little challenge while making the whole thing much more interesting.

Today's challenge is: Favorite game of all time.

It's easy enough, as there can only be one title there, and that title is Gravity Rush 2. A sequel to Gravity Rush, which was basically made to show off what the Playstation Vita could do, and which was granted a massive budget for a sequel out of absolutely nowhere, and they sure as hell gave it everything they had.

Gravity Rush is about a girl named Kat, a mysterious girl who fell from the sky and who can manipulate the way gravity affects her with the help of her feline familiar. She can fall in any direction, make objects falls in any direction, increase, decrease or negate gravity as a whole, and use a whole bunch of gravity/time/space powers.

The second game picks up shortly after the events of the first game, and immediately after the OVA made to bridge the two titles (sort of, it's a little inconsistent). As with its predecessor, the story is set in a large fictional world inspired by early 20th century Europe, and the characters speak a fictional language loosely based on a mixture of French and Japanese. The game does a great job at portraying this accurately amidst all of the fantasy elements mixed in. It is also heavily inspired by Belgian and French Superhero comics such as Tintin and Asterix, which, combined with typical Japanese game features, makes for a very unique setup.



The world itself is insanely vibrant, and the Jazz influenced OST supports the visuals like I've never seen a game do before. And as you're given more and more liberty to do as you please in this world, you start to realize the true greatness of what it is you are playing. There's a LOT of game content to go through, but all of it is secondary to the immersion into this world, sort of like the way Breath of the Wild feels, except a LOT better.

The only thing better than the universe itself is the controls, over which you are granted a LOT of freedom. There's extremely little you can't do with a character that pretty much controls the laws of physics, especially late in the game, and the fact that the game is incredibly disorienting only adds to the fun once you master the sometimes counter intuitive mechanics. There are a ton of objects to interact with, to a point where it feels almost completely unecessary to have this much, but hey, no complaints. And let me tell you, once you start moonjumping and wormhole warping all over the place, you just can't stop doing it. It feels AMAZING.



Then there's the story, which is sweet, melancholic and endearing, but I'd be lying if I said this was the story to end all others. None of the characters are super interesting aside from Kat, and this is mostly due to the first game in the series completely botching that aspect. Never the less, it does enough for you to care, and that's alright with me.

I've yet to meet anyone who has given this a fair shot who wasn't completely blown away, and while it absolutely isn't a perfect game, it is most definitely a special experience for any gamer who can enjoy an open world action game. If I had to point any major issue, it's that the camera has a lot of trouble keeping up, especially when manoeuvering around tight spaces, but even so, it's still an incredible step up from its older brother.



So why is this overall fantastic game my favorite ever? Aside from the obvious, it also checks every single “gaming fetish” checkmark I could possibly have. High speed action, female protagonist, deep aerial mechanics, movement freedom, extreme colors and contrasts, counter intuitive physics, it does everything.

Gravity Rush 2 has only been released for the PS4 so far, but it is a Pro enhanced title. If you have a PS4, or a PS4 Pro, you owe it to yourself to at least try out the demo!

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SHUT UP SVEN I KNOW I'M PLAYING BAD

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Old 03-2-2021, 09:59 PM   #3
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Default Re: March 2021: 31 days game review challenge



Today's challenge is: Best Story

I pondered on this one for a while, and I really don't have a choice. I have to pick the “Trails of Cold Steel” saga, from the Legend of Heroes franchise. I know this is technically 4 games, but in my mind, it's really one game, like a PS1 game with 4 discs. At worst, you can compare it to the Mass Effect Trilogy, with the save carrying over and all that.

So what is this game? I'll keep it short, because that's not really why it's here. It's a turn based RPG made by Falcom (which easily reigns as my favorite company of the 2010s and beyond), running on the same engine as the recent Ys and Xanadu games, which are completely different, gameplay wise.



These kind of games are really, really not my cup of tea. Straight up turn based combat pisses me off to no end, and easily ruins an entire game for me if other distractions aren't constantly thrown my way. It's just how I feel about the genre as a whole, even though I've played a lot. However, this one gets a pass from me.

As with all modern Falcom games, the soundtrack alone makes playing it worthwhile. It's also bright and colorful despite not boasting top tier textures in comparison to other modern games, and has VERY HEAVY anime style. There are also no random encounters (which is DEFINITELY a good thing), features a lot of side activities (sort of like a Persona title), has a High Speed mode to ease the pain of fighting non boss enemies, and a bunch of other good things.





But again, none of this is why I'm talking about this today. Cold Steel directly ties with the setting of the previous Legend of Heroes sagas and takes world building to a new level. You're looking at a 600+ hours adventure, with hundreds of important characters and well over 50 factions, all with diverging goals and political interests, and somehow you never feel lost or feel like someone's story has been butchered. Falcom manages to keep everything interesting despite handling so much all at once, and that is worthy of praise.



I've stuck through from start to finish, and I'd love to do it all over again, especially with hindsight, trying to take a fresh look at character development. A+.

Episodes 1 and 2 out on Vita, PS3, PS4 and PC, Episodes 3 and 4 out on PS4, Switch and PC!
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something something nate lever
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I don't fucking know there is apparently more genders in 2019 than there are concentration camp victims
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SHUT UP SVEN I KNOW I'M PLAYING BAD

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Old 03-2-2021, 10:01 PM   #4
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Default Re: March 2021: 31 days game review challenge

: popcorn :
Excited to see what comes up in the days to come.
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ok i fucked this up, but it's actually funnier this way

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Old 03-3-2021, 02:36 AM   #5
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Default Re: March 2021: 31 days game review challenge

I need a spoiler, is the Indie pick Celeste? Please say yes.
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Old 03-3-2021, 05:47 AM   #6
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I need a spoiler, is the Indie pick Celeste? Please say yes.
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Originally Posted by ElectricZap9 View Post
Is the depressing game TeRa: Mad of Fire?
perhaps the game with favourite music is 'Madvillany' by Madvillian?
And the "Game you played as a joke but enjoyed unironically" is Big Rigs: Over the Road Racing?
ps: Is the "Cereal Box Game" Chex Quest?
P A T I E N C E I S A V I R T U E

also lol @ zap
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Old 03-3-2021, 07:14 PM   #7
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Its tricky to rock a rhyme, to rock a rhyme that's right on time its tricky
tricky tricky tricky tricky
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Old 03-3-2021, 08:59 PM   #8
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Default Re: March 2021: 31 days game review challenge



March 3rd

Today's challenge is: Favorite Art Style

Tough call today. I wanted to pick a game out of several interesting yet beautiful titles from the past, and even though there are some more modern games out there with beautiful styling, I still prefer colorful sprites and sexy scanlines. But I guess I don't really have a choice but to pick Cuphead today. It really bums me out because it's yet another modern game, and everyone ever knows about this one. Plus, it didn't get a physical release yet, and that's just nope for me. I did cave in when the PS4 version was released because I'm a sucker for platinum hunting (and also needed an excuse to actually play this one on at least something). I bought a Switch partially for this game, but it took over 6 months for me to boot it for the first time because I was waiting for that fucking physical release that never came out. RIP.



There's literally nothing to say about the game's artstyle that hasn't been said to death already, but I'll try to point out a few things that meant something to me. Cute 'em ups tend to be among my favorite shmups (at least design wise, because they often play like ass, and I was pleased to see a LOT of that influence in the game, especially the airplane levels. Nothing to say about the animation that hasn't been said before, but the grainy filter applied all over was a guilty pleasure for me, especially on a CRT.



And about the game itself, the one thing that has been said a lot that I'd disagree with is that it's too hard. Honestly, the game is more than fair, regardless of the difficulty setting. Even when going for top ranks, you only have to play well for about a minute every time, and you have infinite continues. Some of the power ups GREATLY reduce difficulty as well, so it's really not that hard. Comparing with other run and gun games, it's a bit harder than Contra on NES, but wayyyyyyyy easier than any Metal Slug or Contra Hard Corps.



That being said, well it's really fucking good and y'all should play it if you haven't already. Out on PC, Switch, Xbox One and PS4.
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SHUT UP SVEN I KNOW I'M PLAYING BAD

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Det är okej om djuret är större än du.

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Old 03-3-2021, 09:00 PM   #9
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Its tricky to rock a rhyme, to rock a rhyme that's right on time its tricky
tricky tricky tricky tricky
if only that minigame played half as good as that lmao
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I don't fucking know there is apparently more genders in 2019 than there are concentration camp victims
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SHUT UP SVEN I KNOW I'M PLAYING BAD

Quote:
Det är okej om djuret är större än du.
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Old 03-4-2021, 10:59 PM   #10
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Default Re: March 2021: 31 days game review challenge



March 4th

Today's challenge is: “I'll finish it some day”

I thought this one was gonna be hard, but turns out it isn't at all. I usually commit whenever I start a game, or quit and don't intend to come back unless I feel like I have nothing else to play on the same console whenever I want to play it. I have a huge backlog, sure, but they're games I've never even booted. Therefore, the list is quite short, and from that list, I'll pick Star Ocean on the Super Famicom.

This game initially piqued my curiosity because of its use of the S-DD1 chip. The only other SNES game with it (and the only one we got in the West) is Street Fighter Alpha 2, a game that pretty much had no business being on that console. I later took a look at some game footage, and to no surprise at all it absolutely blew every other SNES JRPG out of the waters, at least when it comes to the graphics. I also found out that the game was remade for the PSP (and officially translated), but then playing it would “feel pointless”, as the whole point of it to me was because it was some juiced up Nintendo 16 bits.



I ended up ordering 2 reproduction carts from a shady as fuck dealer from Northern Montreal, which we made a 1h long detour for while driving to Anime North, got the two light pink repro carts from the guy and shoved one up Kommisar's ass (true story).

But anyway, let's talk about the game. It's just as pretty and technically impressive as I expected. It's otherwise your standard JRPG, except for the fact that the combat isn't really passive and more of a hybrid like Parasite Eve, something that I love a LOT. I was also surprised to see 3D cutscenes and voice acting, that SNES might start to leak smoke after a few hours of gameplay. I haven't played it enough to know how much I like it, but I can say that the game kept me interested the whole time.



So, why haven't I finished it? I don't really know. I tell myself “I should continue Star Ocean today” but never end up actually playing it. I last played it like 2 years ago! I still feel like playing it right now, but I'm not gonna do that. Soon™.

The game is only available on the Super Famicom (but playable on the regular SNES if you break the region locking edges inside the console's casing), in Japanese only (it has been fan translated, however). Additionally, there are the remakes, which came out on PSP, PS4 and Switch.

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something something nate lever
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I don't fucking know there is apparently more genders in 2019 than there are concentration camp victims
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SHUT UP SVEN I KNOW I'M PLAYING BAD

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Det är okej om djuret är större än du.

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Old 03-5-2021, 10:49 PM   #11
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Default Re: March 2021: 31 days game review challenge



March 5th

Today's challenge is: Big Personal Impact.

Despite today's theme, I actually have little... tangible (?) experience with the game I picked. That because the VAST majority of my time playing the game was spent before I had turned 5. Which means I only remembered the bare minimum to be able to find what the game was as an adult... As well as something else. Therefore, today's review will be less about the game than about how it impacted my life.

The game I picked today is Montezuma's Revenge for the SEGA Master System (my favorite console, by the way), and something I learned as an adult is that this title is a reference to the violent diarrhea one might get while travelling abroad, especially in South America. I mean, there's no way I couldn't mention this. And while I'm slightly off topic, I might as well mention that this is possibly the first videogame I've ever played, at least at my place, as I did play Super Mario Bros. 1 at a hospital when I was a toddler. Other candidates would be Hang-On, which ran on my console whenever you wouldn't have a cart in (or if it was reading it poorly, which happened a lot), or Kenseiden, which I could only find out about because I could remember the first boss enough for Marionintendo to find it for me.



Anyway, it's kind of a classic exploration game based on Indiana Jones. You select your level as you enter the temple (more on that later, this is extremely important), then you rappel down into the first area. You have to avoid monsters and other enemies and collect gems and keys to open doors. I guess you could call that a Metroidvania, except all the screens are static and there are no powerups or bosses (that I know of anyway). It's also not really good, and you're better off playing Zillion instead for a similar kind of game on the Master System.



So, why did I pick this game? Here's the thing. If you select a high enough difficulty, you can only spend a VERY limited amount of time on any given screen. Once you've been in it long enough, an eerie sound effect will play, and a bat will come screeching to capture Panama Joe (the bootleg Indiana Jones you play as). That bat is also invincible and can fly through walls. Basically, if you heard that sound effect, you had to leave the room immediately, or else it'd carry you off screen and you'd lose a life.

As a 3-4 years old kid, I thought it was a crow or a raven, and my parents also referred to it as such. I also wasn't a fan of that crow AT ALL, and my parents would use it against me whenever they'd want me in bed: When they wanted me to go, they'd say that the crows came every night into my room to check if I was sleeping, and if I was still awake, they'd grab me with their talons and carry me into the night's sky, where they'd shred me into confetti or whatever. You can bet your ass I was ducking into my covers every single evening, crying and probably pissing myself most of the times, and regularly had nightmares about it.

Looking back, I think this shit is hilarious and I wanna high five my parents for doing this (they probably never realized how much it terrified me), and honestly I was a difficult kid and I'm surprised that's really all they did.

I of course bought this game again once I could figure out what it was, and I love it because the sticker on the cartridge is white instead of red like pretty much every other Master System game.

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something something nate lever
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I don't fucking know there is apparently more genders in 2019 than there are concentration camp victims
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SHUT UP SVEN I KNOW I'M PLAYING BAD

Quote:
Det är okej om djuret är större än du.

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Old 03-6-2021, 06:07 PM   #12
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Default Re: March 2021: 31 days game review challenge



March 6th

Today's challenge is: Best Combat.

Of course, since today's theme is about combat, I'm gonna talk about my favorite JRPG: Microsoft Excel.



Just kidding, I'm going to have exactly none of that here. Instead, I'll talk about Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers: The Movie... For the SEGA Game Gear. Bet y'all didn't expect this right? Usually, when talking about this game, people usually think of the SNES and Genesis versions, but I'd argue the Game Gear version is the most impressive. Sure, it's pretty limited and the music sucks, but the controls more than make up for its shortcomings.

So how is this one different from the other two? Well, they pretty much scrapped the whole thing and instead of a side scrolling beat 'em up, they made a 1v1 fighter that sort of plays like a beat 'em up. You can play as any ranger, including the megazord whenever it's appropriate. You usually fight a bunch of goons, then the boss, then a Megazord/kaiju fight. Rinse and repeat, and the game will be over after half an hour or so.



So about those controls... How do you program like 20 moves per character, on top of general movement (like jumping, which you do a lot of), with only 2 buttons and a directional pad, and make it so all of them are super fun and easily pulled off, and so all the characters play so differently from each others they might as well each be from different games? Well I don't know, but this game does it and does it PERFECTLY. It's not like I had never seen this before, I've always thought that Street Fighter Alpha: Warriors' Dreams on the Game Boy Color was one of the greatest titles in its franchise, but it's still not AS good as this Power Rangers game. Give it a shot and you'll see what I mean. I recommend messing around with the Pink Ranger first, as I think she's the most fun going up close and personal (yeah, I know, the one with the bow, but I don't care). That leg grab is so much fun.



This game is exclusive to the SEGA Game Gear, even though an arcade version of this would kick ass.
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something something nate lever
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I don't fucking know there is apparently more genders in 2019 than there are concentration camp victims
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SHUT UP SVEN I KNOW I'M PLAYING BAD

Quote:
Det är okej om djuret är större än du.

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Old 03-6-2021, 06:14 PM   #13
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Default Re: March 2021: 31 days game review challenge

sven doesn't want to feel lonely
power rangers game looks really cool not even gonna lie
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Old 03-6-2021, 06:30 PM   #14
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sven doesn't want to feel lonely
<3 I actually love you for pointing that out high five man
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I don't fucking know there is apparently more genders in 2019 than there are concentration camp victims
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SHUT UP SVEN I KNOW I'M PLAYING BAD

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Det är okej om djuret är större än du.

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Old 03-6-2021, 07:41 PM   #15
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Does Ivan Ooze appear in this game? and if so, is he as op as he is in the fighting edition?

If you don't know how op he is in the fighting edition, here's this educational video from 2007 that will tell you so. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O-g4TqMFemY
He is. However, he's pretty easy, much like everyone else.

Also, that's like a gentle version of Parace L'Sia of Arcana Heart 3.

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I don't fucking know there is apparently more genders in 2019 than there are concentration camp victims
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SHUT UP SVEN I KNOW I'M PLAYING BAD

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Det är okej om djuret är större än du.

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Old 03-6-2021, 08:26 PM   #16
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Default Re: March 2021: 31 days game review challenge

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I'm guessing she learnt PSI (hence why she's cheap when up against normal characters).
Also, Parace L'Sia being the only character to be able to move before a section starts reminds me of Kazuya being the only character in 'Tekken 2' to sidestep.
Well other characters have broken shit, like uh Angelia, who was the boss of the second game. Parace is just legendarily broken lol.

I think all characters can move before a fight however, if memory serves right at least.

The video doesn't show her most bs move sadly, which she can execute at any time, is unavoidable/unblockable, is instant, and basically takes half your half bar or more. If you are unlucky, she will use it twice at the beginning of the fight, and you won't even have a chance to move before you're dead in mere seconds.

The reasoning behind this is that in the arcade, if you are to die against her, and insert coins while game over'd, you can fight her again, and she starts with less healths. Therefore after blowing like a hundred bucks on her, she goes down with a love tap.

That being said, there's no such mechanics in the love max!!!!!! edition, and she's just horrible to defeat. It took me several thousand retries to get her lol.

Also I actually never knew that about Tekken 2. All I do in that game is to spam Paul's burning fist to troll my friends.
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something something nate lever
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Originally Posted by Dark Humor, pls keep away if easily triggered
I don't fucking know there is apparently more genders in 2019 than there are concentration camp victims
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Originally Posted by the sun fan View Post
SHUT UP SVEN I KNOW I'M PLAYING BAD

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Det är okej om djuret är större än du.

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Old 03-7-2021, 07:10 AM   #17
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Default Re: March 2021: 31 days game review challenge



March 7th

Today's challenge is: You like, but everyone hates.

Okay, soooo... Today was actually pretty difficult to figure out. I had two options: The first was going for a specific game that people disliked that I think is great or at least has some redeeming qualities that makes it more enjoyable. Stuff like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde on NES, which people hate for valid reasons, but actually don't know about some of the secrets in the game, like how to get the true ending with the boss fight, which is actually kinda cool! My second option was to pick from a well established franchise, in a scenario where I'd really like a certain title that everyone else considers the weakest. That's what I went with today. For example, I could have picked Final Fantasy VII: Dirge of Cerberus, which people dislike for being clunky and having nothing to do with other Final Fantasy games (on top of not being the upgraded FFVII everyone wanted) while I personally loved it. But I'm not sure if people really dislike it for what it is.

So instead, I went with Metroid: Other M, my favorite game in the franchise so far. I've actually played VERY LITTLE from this game, but I've at least watched a playthrough in the past. People have criticized it for playing weird (it's the Wii, so par for the course in general), for ruining the ambience and feeling of solitude, for being much more linear, and most of all, for ruining Samus' character. But the thing is... None of these things particularly bothered me.



While I can see why people feel so let down by this title, Metroid in general, for me, has been a mixture of boring, frustrating and annoying. I also understand why people love the series so much, but even though I've genuinely tried to get into it, I just can't. There's too much backtracking, too much “where the fuck do I go?”, too much “why am I even here”, too much inconsistent pacing. The bosses and general ambience are cool, but the latter wears out once I start feeling too much like a rat in a maze. It's just my personal taste. The only one I managed to finish was the first Prime game, and finding all the damn Chozo artifacts made me despise an otherwise interesting title.

But Other M came to me like a breath of fresh air. I'm not saying Nintendo should just scrap the old ones because I preferred this one, but it gave me a fair chance to get into a lot of iconic Metroid stuff simply because the game felt like something I could appreciate for what it is. Just straight up guns blazing with cool abilities, and while I agree Samus kind of has an uninspiring personality, I'm not super fond of silent protags I'm supposed to project into (Prime did her far better however), and, at least, they didn't give her a gasp syndrome, which tends to be a pet peeve of mine.



I know that some people will want to give me an earful about how Super Metroid is so much better or whatever, but frankly, Other M has opened a door for me to enjoy the rest of the franchise, and that's why I've picked it today.

Out on Wii, and apparently on the Wii U's virtual console as well? Interesting...

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something something nate lever
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Originally Posted by Dark Humor, pls keep away if easily triggered
I don't fucking know there is apparently more genders in 2019 than there are concentration camp victims
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Originally Posted by the sun fan View Post
SHUT UP SVEN I KNOW I'M PLAYING BAD

Quote:
Det är okej om djuret är större än du.

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Old 03-7-2021, 08:06 AM   #18
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Default Re: March 2021: 31 days game review challenge

This seems really ambitious to me and am generally impressed that you're keeping up with this o_o
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Old 03-7-2021, 06:18 PM   #19
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This seems really ambitious to me and am generally impressed that you're keeping up with this o_o
It's not a huge deal haha, I already did it before with video game music, and while I was worried it would be hard to keep up with, it ended up being mostly fun.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rayword45 View Post
something something nate lever
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dark Humor, pls keep away if easily triggered
I don't fucking know there is apparently more genders in 2019 than there are concentration camp victims
Quote:
Originally Posted by the sun fan View Post
SHUT UP SVEN I KNOW I'M PLAYING BAD

Quote:
Det är okej om djuret är större än du.
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Old 03-8-2021, 10:37 PM   #20
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Default Re: March 2021: 31 days game review challenge



March 8th

Today's challenge is: You hate, but everyone likes.

Today's pick is Heavy Rain.

*Cracks knuckles*


I've played a lot of really shitty games, and I honestly love those. My personal threshold for “so bad, it's good” is quite reasonable, so it doesn't take something infinitely jarring for me to appreciate general incompetence, and it also works even if the game is part of a franchise I cherish. Then there's a level above, where the game sucks, but I don't really care because it's just “ meh” suckage. And there's not a whole lot of room in between for me to truly hate a game. It has to insult me personally in one way or another, and meet critical success with the general population. If a game sucks and offends me by the way it sucks, but everyone agrees it's a shit show, then I don't really care.

When Heavy Rain was released, everyone praised it like it was the definitive cinematic game experience out there. I wasn't super excited about it, but I still committed to the platinum. I think it was MikeShinoda12345 from FFR who took a look at my backlog and told me to play this one, because he “heard it was really good”. And DEAR GOD did I not have fun.



It pretty much ticked every checkmark of everything I'd consider shitty that's not the funny kind of shit. The controls are easily some of the worst I've ever experienced in a game like this one (for the sake of being fair, I've heard from people that it was considerably more playable with the PS Move, but I haven't tried to play it with that, and I dunno why the fuck this is compatible with it other than for the broken QTE sections). I legit did the trophy for the driving part on the wrong side of a highway by holding my controller like a toilet plunger and vigorously/furiously shaking it on the vertical axis in order to get one of them to register. I also got stuck for HOURS trying to make turns in the vents with the glass shards. I also got stuck in stairways a few times, among other issues. If I had clipped through the walls and fell to my doom out of bounds or something, that'd be funny, but all of my issues were more frustrating in nature.

Then, there's the cast. I can't say who of the main characters I dislike the least. They're all horribly designed and completely unlikable, and also devoid of any believable human traits. I happily forgot all of their names. Between the dad who's completely unrelatable and whose focus made no fucking sense through the entire game while he should be the one character whose emotions should speak to the player, there's the fat cop (he's the killer, I'm not even sorry about spoiling that) who was given about 10 personas too many (origami killer, rain killer, flower killer, kid killer, jigsaw and so on), who was intended (I assume?!) to make us feel a bit sympathetic towards his pains (it made no fucking sense), and who turns into James Bond for absolutely no believable reason near the end of the game, then there's the NSA “smart guy” with his fucking sci fi glasses that are completely unecessary for him to do his job, like why would you use something that can kill you in 20 minutes to solve a kindergarten puzzle? The game also tries to sell that his logic is top tier by comparing him to his brawny police colleagues, but everything is rushed out and does a garbage job at convincing anyone ever. Finally, there's the girl, who has tits and really nothing else I'd say. I probably dislike her the least, after all.



Now, the visuals. I'll concede that the textures and models are fantastic for their time, but like most “AAA titles” of this era, everything is just multiple tones of gray, and thus completely lifeless outside of the loading sequences where they do look really fucking good. Grass is green, for fuck's sake, that's not a hard concept to grasp. The “great models” are further ruined by the animation. I know a lot of people will disagree with this, but I thought the animation was jarringly bad. It wasn't like watching the Sims go on with their lives, where they don't try to make them look like real humans, but this definitely tried and failed brutally. The fight scenes were probably the worst, and I dunno how they could try to sell any of this with a straight face. It's kind of ironic, since this game came at a time when people were most divided on whether great graphics meant a great game, and this game is a big reason why I started believing it did matter a LOT, except for most people, it was thought of as a success, and for me a massive failure. Colors first, textures next.

Finally, the story (I'd talk about the music or audio engineering or whatever, but I can't talk about it since it was such a forgettable experience in that respect). I'd describe this game as like, brainstorming, but having to keep EVERY idea, because I'm pretty sure that's what they did. The general outline was probably to have a cast of people involved with a crime, and you'd have to figure out who is the culprit as well as watching every character tries to solve things on their own end. This is alright, but 90% of how they expanded from there shouldn't have made the cut. I'm guessing they didn't really care, and thought this approach would give their game a rather unique feel? That, or they just opened a “attention grabbing for dummies” book and tried to cover everything, then tied them to random stunts and elements happening in the story. I honestly felt like it was the latter scenario, and I felt deeply insulted that these events that kept happening were supposed to fool any human being with half a brain. Hell, horror movies do that all the time, and they don't fail at being simple thrill rides, you don't have to think too hard about them to enjoy them, but this invited you to think at the same time, and that's why it sucked so much in my eyes.

And no, it's not just that I can't handle this kind of game. I've done more than a few visual novels, and I think Life is Strange is a masterpiece of the genre. I've done at least one Telltale game, and even though it wasn't my cup of tea, I appreciated its distinct style. Heavy Rain is as far away from those as you could get, however.

*Deep Breath*



Now, it's 2021. It's a little bittersweet to lash out like this at my most hated game of all time, since with time, people have taken a fresh look at the game, and it sort of devolved into meme status. With the SHAUN and JASON memes, and the videos which further exaggerate the characters' animation (and those are genuinely hilarious). If this was the response back in the day, I still wouldn't like it, but I could totally appreciate its cult game status. Kinda like Marauder Shields at the end of Mass Effect 3. Therefore, before ending this mini review, I'll just list my top 6 (I wanted to do 10, but I wasn't able to find 10 things) positive things to say about this title, in no particular order.

- The game originally came with a small piece of paper, and you could learn to fold it into various stuff with the game itself. Honestly, I thought it was a really, really cool gesture, and by far my favorite thing about this game.
- The QTE section with the electrical wires was surprisingly well done, and had probably the best QTE sequence I've ever seen in a game. How they'd make you twist your hands around, like a mini game of Twister, was a superb idea, and I'd like to see mechanics like that in other games.
- The loading sections with the close up of the models' faces, as mentionned before, looked really good and were fun to look at. I'm a bit worried that they made the loadings even longer, but they were impressive anyway.
- The “Prologue” with Jason at least gave me high hopes for the rest of the game. It wasn't anywhere near as great as the one for The Last of Us (and nobody is holding it up against that juggernaut of a prologue), but it was the only time in the game I could feel actual anguish along with the main character. The ending was ridiculously convenient and dramatic, but hey, it was alright.
- Of all the cheap thrills in the game, and despite talking shit about the character herself, dangling the female character's tits in front of me was probably the only welcome one. The shootout in the mansion, the “cut your finger to get a clue”, the driving against the traffic, the escape from the rooftop, or the dumbass fights left and right, they really didn't work. The girl actually fulfilled her “traditional gender role” and didn't feel too out of place, as sad as this may sound. I'll just say that I'm glad that Quantic Dreams had the COMMON COURTESY of giving this attention grabber up. Bonus points for also showing high levels of gratuitous man ass, gotta be inclusive.
- The scenery in the STUPID VR glasses looked SO MUCH BETTER than anything else in the game, and I especially liked the mountain and fall backdrops.



And that's about it for today. Longer than usual. And yeah, I know it may seem like I gave this title an unfairly tough time, but I'll add that this is how it goes if I get into a title with my expectations raised too high. I'm not a gaming hipster, but I usually try to avoid top rated games for a while for this reason. But in this case, I feel like it was well deserved.

Out on PS3, PS4, and PC (3 systems too many).
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FMO AAAs (click on title for replays):
ETERNAL DRAIN [Heavy] (67)
,
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,
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rayword45 View Post
something something nate lever
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dark Humor, pls keep away if easily triggered
I don't fucking know there is apparently more genders in 2019 than there are concentration camp victims
Quote:
Originally Posted by the sun fan View Post
SHUT UP SVEN I KNOW I'M PLAYING BAD

Quote:
Det är okej om djuret är större än du.

Last edited by Hateandhatred; 03-8-2021 at 10:45 PM..
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