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Old 05-27-2014, 03:34 AM   #12
hi19hi19
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Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: DESTINY
Age: 33
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Default Re: High-Level Thinker, Low-Level Student

To approach Mina's problem more directly, psychology breaks people's understanding of their own ambitions into two broad categories.

Your "ideal self" is the person you want to be.
Your "ought self" is your understanding of what others want you to be.

Then there is our actual self. In your case, your actual self is procrastinating everything but thinks you are smart enough to get things done.
Which one -ideal or ought- is motivating you with regards to schoolwork?


I fit this description very well. I was a straight A student in highschool, got 5s on all my AP tests, 800s on SATs, etc etc, but always just barely, or without really trying. I never really studied, I basically got by on the fact that I was smart. I played a shitload of WoW and FFR during times I should have been studying and procrastinated everything until the last second, yet I still managed to get things done because I was good enough at easy highschool assignments to write an essay 2 hours before it was due.

I went to one semester of college at MIT and the need to actually study hit me really hard. For many reasons, not the least of which being that I was doing badly in my classes for the first time in ever, I went on leave.
It's been 4 years since then, and I only recently got back into college.
I've decided that, back in highschool, my ought self was motivating my grades. Even though my parents were super chill and never told me anything of the sort, I mentally attributed my doing well in school to a feeling that "I ought to do well because my parents/family expects it."
In the 4 years since being at MIT, I've internalized a lot of my goals. Back then, I hate to admit it, my ideal self was a guy who coasted along and played WoW while still getting As in classes. This contradicted with the reality of being at essentially the most demanding university in the world.
Now, I ideally see myself as a student who actually studies, as opposed to studying because that's what I should be doing. Minor difference, but it's a huge difference when you sit down in front of a computer and are faced with loading up Firefox and browsing the FFR forums versus loading up Mathematica and doing economics.

How did I make the change? My dad died and as he was dying I sorta realized, the last memory my dad is ever going to have of me is me feeling lost because I don't know how to handle MIT. I decided that was a terrible thing and I had better change my act before my mom died with the same disappointment, but also that all along my dad really never cared if I did well in school, only that I was happy, and when he died I wasn't happy and that really broke his heart. It went from being "well I should do well in college because my dad thinks I should" to "well fuck, my dad is dead and now I can't lie to myself, I NEED to do well in college for my own sake"
Maybe you'll have some sort of epiphany like that, who knows.


EDIT- If you find this line of thinking helps you sort out your thoughts, look up Self-Discrepancy Theory and Consistency Theory.
Lots of interesting research on what happens when your various views of yourself contradict and how that can lead to things such as chronic procrastination.
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Last edited by hi19hi19; 05-27-2014 at 03:53 AM..
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