[Zyxel]

Thank you everyone for the advice and kind words! I think I was just having a bit of a moment of frustration. I went back to some of my older work and cross-referenced it with my newer stuff and there has been significant improvement, and I am also more relaxed now. I think it's just a matter of perfectionism

I also finished the song I was working on (for the most part)! Got some feedback from Eppu the goat and made some changes, now I'm really happy with how it's turned out. Its a much different genre than I'm used to writing, but I learned a lot from it and overall am pretty happy with it.

Coming back with a clear head, I wanna share my own insights for each of my questions!
- For those of you who are creatively inclined and engage in making stuff, how do you do it?

I predicated my entire sense of the success on this project around making it perfect, rather than making something new and exciting for myself. The way I worded it earlier was "accepting mediocrity" but that's pretty mean and disingenuous. It's more about making making strides in an uncharted territory (in my personal progression) and developing new skills that this style calls for. It isn't perfect, and it doesn't need to be. I made something I haven't before, and that is more than enough.

- How do you improve in a meaningful way?

'Meaningful' is a pretty arbitrary way to measure growth, but I think what I meant at the time was "when do I achieve perfection?" and in that case, never. Or, I can argue that I already have! It's perfect for me, because it is something I put a lot of effort and love into and it is mine- and that makes it perfect for me.

- How do you grapple with these feelings of inadequacy and imperfection?

This comes from fear of failure and judgement. The best way to deal with these feelings is to just keep making cool stuff, even if others might see it as bad. The only way to lose to these uncomfortable feelings is to let them win and to stop creating.

The process of making something new is exciting and beautiful, but it is easy to lose sight of passion and creativity in pursuing objective perfection. I slightly regret letting these feelings of imperfection spoil the experience of making this song, but I'm glad I now have a better understanding of why I feel the way I do and how to navigate them moving forward. (I'll post the song here too once its 100% complete too, for anyone who is curious)