07-31-2008, 05:31 PM
|
#7
|
A car crash mind
Join Date: Aug 2005
Age: 36
Posts: 9,788
|
Re: Love is...
Quote:
Never experienced heartbreak, and hope to never experience it, but I know what it feels like... It sucks
|
How can you know what it feels like if you've never experienced it. I mean you contradicted yourself in the same sentence.
Ok though, poem time:
Quote:
Love is a mental illness
That chips away at your sanity
Playing games with your conscience
Altering your grip of reality
|
Ok ok, dark depressing start. Obviously hates love.
Quote:
Love is a desire;
A lust, a must, a want
Something no human has ever denied
Something no human has ever forgot
|
People deny love all the time. People also fall in and out of love and technically "forget" they ever loved people in the past. Both those lines don't fit in with the rest of your poem, in the sense that love can be full of "lust", "must", and "want".
Quote:
Love is passion
A strong bond between two souls
A bond never to be broken
Only if one breaks it first
|
Last two lines don't fit well.
Quote:
Love is a game
Played hoping to win
But like all games, someone either cheats
Or gives up altogether
|
Again, far too "wah wah" for my liking. There's no real talent here, you're just writing like millions of others over a small insignificant event. I mean depressing or what. Someone always cheats or gives up in a game. Not really. I mean even the imagery isn't worked into it very well.
Quote:
Love is something that I once had
A mental illness, toying with my mind
All because of one boy
My mind is left with scars
|
Ya ok, entire thing doesn't really fit well with me because it's so generic, but hey, keep trying.
|
|
|