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Old 07-12-2014, 11:45 PM   #51
rayword45
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Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: My bed
Age: 26
Posts: 3,186
Default Re: Meh, let's do it again, this time for a year

Day 18: Pure Heroine by Lorde (Album Choice: Trevor P)

Do I really need to write an introductory paragraph for this one?

Day 4 of the pledge: Day 4? It's only been 4 days? Really? Damnit this is taking forever. And it seems like everywhere I look temptation strikes. Look at Twitter "damn bro she got a fat ass". Look at Facebook "Selena Gomez braless in a see-through". I can't watch TV or take a freaking walk without seeing connections to porn somehow. That class was correct, porn culture really does permeate through America. And these 4 days have been long as hell. I don't consider myself an addict, I haven't had any negative side effects or withdrawals but damnit this is one of the hardest pledges I've ever done.

So, can someone explain to me the concept of "anti-pop". I basically imagine it as the pop version of anti-folk, except I don't really know what that is either. 50% of the time I hear about Lorde her style is described as being anti-pop. The other 50% of the time it's described as "Tumblr bullshit" but I'm gonna try to go into this without any biases whatsoever. Let's try and pretend Tumblr never existed.

To be honest, though, I'm really not looking forward to this album. I looking forward to it most because I think it'll make this pledge a hell of a lot easier.

...Do I really have to review this? This is the first fucking track and I think I have a clear idea of what this album is all about.

Screw it, starting with track 3 I'm just gonna right my thoughts down track by track.

Track 3: Oh yeah, this was the radio hit. I'm not even gonna bother writing anything else here.
Track 4: Huh, this is better than the last 3 tracks it seems, despite the fact that it's basically THE EXACT SAME.
Track 5: Yeah, I think every song here sounds the same.
Track 6: Seriously, this girl follows a formula. Vocals and shitty drum loop, and for louder parts, bass synth. This is synthpop where the synths are unnecessarily sparse.
Track 7: For a title as badass as Glory and Gore, this song is decidedly non-badass and decidedly very samey.
Track 8: You know I don't usually feel like commenting on lyrics, but for this album I have to, because musically, it's pretty much non-existent. That is not an insult, THAT IS A STATEMENT. So yeah, lyrically, this pretty much sucks. Though for teen-written pop, I don't expect much, and besides, her core audience is Tumb- Shit. Her core audience is... her core audience, and these lyrics would definitely appeal to them. For me though, this subject matter is really bland.
Track 9: And here's another problem with the lyrics that this song title requires me to bring up. Besides the bland subject matter, every freaking song seems to mention teeth and bruises. Why? What the hell is the point of that? It doesn't seem to have much deeper meaning, it doesn't seem to symbolize anything, it doesn't seem to evoke any powerful imagery, if anything the best thing about it is it definitely keeps my mind off the pledge.
Track 10: Holy crap is that a guitar?! Wowee! Something different! Not really though, besides the guitar and the crowd noise samples, this is the exact same as tracks 1-9.

My prediction based on the first track was exactly right! This album is literally the same thing throughout, vocals, shitty drum loop, and synths that are WAY too spare. For me, that is a huge problem. See, with that Justin Bieber album, there were clear highs and clear-to-the-point-of-physical-pain-and-nausea lows. This album isn't nearly as bad as that album, but it's the SAME. GODDAMN. THING for nearly 40 minutes. Bland vocals, bland teenage lyrics, bland lo-fi drum loops, bland overly spare synths. This album is like eating a block of tofu. In fact, I am willing to bet anyone $14 that if you buy this album at your local record store you'll get free bean curd. I will seriously make that bet.

Every critic who reviews this album puts in your face that Lorde was 16 when this album was made. Does that excuse the subpar lyrics and boring music? Yes, yes it does. I mean, she seems to have potential for the future lest she quickly fall into obscurity and end up waitressing at The Sizzler in her mid-20s. It excuses it, but it doesn't mean I want to listen to this album. I'm 16 too, and there is very little appeal to this album to me, maybe because I don't use Tumblr. Yeah screw what I said earlier Tumblr exists again.

My overall conclusion? The album was the same throughout, and individual songs ranged from grating to mediocre (this is despite basically being the same song 10 times). If I wanted to listen to something endlessly repetitive I'd listen to Earth or something. Because Dylan Carlson's mentions of teeth don't annoy me.

Best Track: Bitch, don't even try me.
Rating: 4/10

Addendum: The album title's double entendre is incredibly obvious, and it doesn't fit the album because I feel like heroin is less boring and more addictive.
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