[Cavernio]

"They’d also do stuff like open the bathroom door (with a key if it was locked) even if I was using it, etc."

omg
I'm not sure you could call that 'spying' if it's so obviously overt.

I was going to be all like, 'if you stick to the definition of kids as being kids, then it's expected that your parents are going to spy on you. It's like watching over you, that's what they're supposed to do', but I guess if you have to call it spying instead of 'looking out for you', its clearly wrong.

I guess my mom overtly would walk into my room all the time, right up until I left home, and even then when I would come back for a term. But she always treated me younger and more immature than I was; she liked to call me ditzy when I was in highschool, even though none of my peers would ever have dreamed of calling me that. The only way for her to stop being on my back was to move out, and she still thought I was relying on her long after they had stopped giving me money. My dad never did that sort of thing though, but I'm not sure his laissez-faire parenting was necessarily any better, although perhaps if my mom wasn't so involved he would have acted differently.

Gah, stupid thread, reminding me about all those things about my parents I hate.

'No, I don't think it's effective to spy on your kids. If your kids are even halfway intelligent they'll consider it an insult, regard you as a villain if they have not already, lose whatever trust they had for you in the first place, and groan as your surveillance system becomes yet another method of control they must outsmart.'

I smiled when I read that. Sad as it is though, I have a friend who fully says she will do the exact same sort of shit her parents did to her to any of her kids (if she ever has any.) And her parents were the strictest, most overbearing people I've met. But she loves them, and clearly has a better relationship with them than I do with mine, so what do I know?