[rayword45]

Day 100: The 20/20 Experience by Justin Timberlake (Album Choice: Fresh)

Before I go back to reviewing TheHipsterDrop, I decided I should do something special, something grand for my 100th review. So I cherrypicked an album off the list... Why did I pick this one? I almost went with Natural Snow Buildings but for some reason decided to do this one instead. Ugh. Suit and Tie annoys the shit out of me, and that's the only song I remember from this album. Not looking forward to this one. Tell me, is this a good 100th album?

The first song actually wasn't so bad at first. The falsetto was kinda hilarious, and the lyrics are absolutely atrocious, but it wasn't so bad overall. Then it was. By the time we reached the 4 minute mark, I wondered "how effing long is this song?!" Then I saw I was only halfway through and in my mind I'm thinking "What is wrong with this idiot?!" because there is no reason for this song to be even half this length. And therein lies what I'm immediately going to assume is gonna be the biggest problem with this album. I assume since I'm only 3 tracks in. There are only 2 out of 10 damn tracks that are under 6 minutes. The median song length is 7:15, the average 7:01. THIS IS A POP SOUL ALBUM. These songs thus far do not justify their length at all. The second shortest song, Suit & Tie, could have easily been two and a half minutes instead of five and a half. Also, that song seems to give me nausea but it could just be the fact that I ate waffles with ice cream and fruit preserves. Don't Hold The Wall starts with an interesting enough tribal rhythm, then goes on for the next 50 years. The closest thus far a song has come to justifying its endlessness is Strawberry Bubblegum, which fades out 5 minutes in from garbage pop into a glorious Muzak-esque section. If only the first 5 minutes weren't so disgusting. And the Muzak only lasts for like a minute before the slimy lyrics come back.

Oh yeah, besides the inane song lengths, another major flaw is the disgusting song lyrics. "Porny and awful" is correct, this album has the lyricism of a 14-year-old future rapist. It makes me feel sleazy listening to it. "Don't ever change your flavor 'cause I love the taste" is just one example of how perverse this album can be at times, and it's not funny perverse, or seductive perverse, it's sex offender perverse. Tunnel Vision contains a sample of what sounds like an 8-year-old child repeating "I know you like it" over and over again. Does nobody in the studio find this to be incredibly wrong?

That Girl is the shortest song on the album at a smidge under 5 minutes. It could've easily been done in 3 minutes, but regardless, it's absolutely RIDICULOUS. The horns, the fake live intro, the absolutely hackneyed rhymes ("My pretty lady, you'll alway be my baby"), the corny rhythms and synths, well actually this whole album is full of that last one but it's extreme on this song, this song is hilarious! I can't take it as anything but self-parody, it's so overly sleazy it makes Midnite Vultures-era Beck sound like Elliott Smith... Okay maybe not that ridiculous but you get my drift.

And yeah that song is the exception to the rule because the rest of this album is completely believable, and as a result it suffers. How could anyone think these lyrics are good? How could anyone believe this much falsetto is a good idea? How could anyone think these melodies would be good in 7+ minute song structures? Everything about this album is just "How?" and I'm not entirely sure about proper grammar after a question mark withing quotations so I'm writing this to make the sentence proper. Especially that last one, I don't understand how this is half of a two-part album when it's already double the length it should be. Even if it was half-length though, this album is just too seedy to be comfortable at all to listen to. Even the ballads are full of unwarranted libido. The closest physical feeling that compares to listening to this album I can give you is eating a stale hamburger off the ground as foreplay. I don't care if that doesn't make sense.

Best Track: That Girl
Rating: 2.5/10