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Old 11-25-2018, 09:16 PM   #2
MarioNintendo
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Default Re: (Reborn!!) The Piano Minipack of Elegance 2 [NEED GFX]

Accepted (but please consider the following suggestions):
Hoshi wu Meguru Tabi (suicidaln00b): This caught me completely off guard, beautiful chart!
75.263s: Consider adding a grace note to this jump (probably around 75.205s)
88.548s-95.382s: The 7 seconds of silence here feel like an eternity. Looking at the waveform of the song, it almost looks like two songs juxtaposed together (between 93.792s and 95.652s there's actual complete lack of song). I don't know if this is in the original song, but would you mind altering the song a bit? I will send you an edit I made in Audacity. I believe if you use that version it will make the song feel more dynamic. (note: I didn't modify the silence at 126.919s, this one is fine)
102.997s: While the other mines in the song are ok in my opinion, I feel this one is a bit heavy handed. I'd consider removing it.
105.279s: Consider adding a jump here to match the intensity from the previous jump
133.219s and 134.175s: Could be a different jump than (13), since both of them are different sounds that the (13) at 131.118s.

Conditional files:
If you do not send a version of your file with the following modifications, it will not be included in the final pack.


Persephone (MintApril): The file has very nice potential, but the layering and pitch relevancy are all over the place. The usage of jumps and jacks is overally inconsistent. This file needs a major rework.

Piano Sonata in A Major, K. 331 (Baq12): The file wasn't bad but this definitely needs a cut. there is just way to much repetition to warrant a 3+ minute file for it.

Madoka Pianoforte (Xelnya): The ending is strange, and the song is long enough. I'd consider a cut at 394s. Also, there are a couple strange ghost notes/jumps/hands that are too sparse to find and list. If you'd like, I can go through the song and make some quick edits and get your approval on a v2. I want this song in the pack!

Normal Battle (Pixl): Cute file but here are some things I'd like to see addressed:
* There's a lot of copy/pasted sections. Considering the song is only 1:28, you should be able to add some slight variations between similar sections
* Some jumps should be single arrows (e.g. 10.61s, 25.303s, 28.61s..)
* Watch out for pitch relevancy (e.g. 8.54s should not be the same arrow as above, but 75.368s should be the same note as 75.161s)
* In your oni chart, 62.75s (the difficulty spike), your patterns are always the same even when different notes are heard (e.g. the notes at 62.75s vs. those at 64.40s). This really kills your climax.
Normal Battle v2 (Pixl): I dug a bit deeper and I'm sorry to say I came back with a lot more things to say (that I believe also applied to V1). The bottom line is that I think you should polish your PR a bit more. My feedback from v1 still applies: I'm convinced you can make a version that both has good PR and variety. Hopefully, this feedback will give you PR tips, so all you will have left to do is add variety
* The heavy are oni charts are now indistinguishable, save for the fast trills. These are not different enough anymore to warrant different charts. I suggest you merge them: for half the trills, have the easier pattern, and for the other half, the oni pattern. This will create variety. If you want to keep them separate, make them more different, while keeping in mind the comments from v1
* 0.68s For PR, should be "212" instead of "121". This happens more than once.
* 8.54s, 15.17s, ..: The PR for this arrow is wrong (considering arrow above)
* Measure 11: PR is wrong, should do something like "2 123" instead of having an 8th jack. Applies more than once.
* 23.440s PR with arrow below
* 25.30s There should not be a jump
* 27.16s to 27.68s, there shouldn't be any jack here for PR. This mistake applies for similar bits every time in this section
* 28.61s There should not be jumps here
* 31.01s Should be a down arrow for PR
* 1m14.95s Note should be different than the one below
* 1m15.16s This should be "434" instead of "432"
* 1m18.26s to 1m21.57s This section is copy pasted from the one above, yet the notes are different. This should be reflected in PR.
* 1m23.75s Starting here, there should not be jacks anymore
* Unfortunately, 31.92s to 1m01s is still a complete copy paste of what we just played previously. More than 50% of a song that is 1m30s is copy pasted! You claimed this is to maintain PR, but the PR is not perfect to begin with.

Normal Battle v3 (Pixl):
Yes! That's much better, both difficulties. I'll put it in the pack in its current form. However, I still have a few concerns, if you are willing to send a v4. Not necessary, though.
*7.51s and the arrow right before it are the same, but according to PR the one at 7.51s should be lower (applies more than once)
*14.34s This triplet is the same as the subliminal one in 13.51s. I know for the (14)34 you picture the left arrow to be with the melody. However the triplet at 14.34s still clashes a bit.
*23.44s You misunderstood my initial feedback! This note clashes with 23.65s: different sounds, but same notes. I am not "flat-out wrong" Applies more than once
*27.27s Why is this arrow the same as the one above? This should not be a jack, it is clearly a different note. I also pointed this out in my initial feedback. Applies more than once
*31.10s Could be a down arrow because different sound than 30.89s
*1m15.58s This triplet was fine the was it used to be (the sound is descending on each note), why did you change it? In this section, triplets like 1m15.16s should be indeed be "323", but triplets like 1m15.58s should be "321".
*1m28.20s Food for thought: this is the last chord and it's the lowest in the entire song. It could be neat to end on a "(12)" instead of a "(13)". You could have that by doing "...(23)4(13)4(12)"

Ouverture (Kaho):
* Why no jumps on notes like 11.94s?
* Watch out for this this of jack (e.g. at 14.09s, 1(134)). This does not belong with the melody and should be avoided.
* 34.33s These holds are way too long. In fact, it would play much better if the holds were completely removed. If you REALLY want to keep the holds, at least cut them in half.
* 57.20s In this section, not all notes should be jumps. Only the notes where the melody is doubled should have jumps. Otherwise, it really feels like random notes.
* 82s: Remove this mine

Rejected files:

La tristesse durera toujours (Kaho): This song/file feels aimless... Nothing's happening in this file. It's the same thing over and over, we're waiting for the song to take off, and it never does. The steps are fine, but this sticks out like a sore thumb compared to the other files from this pack.
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Last edited by MarioNintendo; 12-22-2018 at 02:09 PM..
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