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Old 03-10-2017, 08:13 AM   #2
DossarLX ODI
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Default Re: July/August 2016 Set 6

gameboy42690 finished the primary judge task for July/August 2016 Set 6. The notes can be seen below; this thread is being moved over to Completed Sets and the results/notes will be updated in the July/August 2016 thread.

[2.5/10] Geometrical Dominator {Waterflame} (boomerangbro10)
• 3.649: It’s really not clear what direction you’re trying to take this file in. Here in the beginning of the song, you step some technically challenging jacks, but there’s also a tremendous amount of the file with very easy steps. Are you trying to make something hard or something easy? That being said, the jacks themselves do actually fit the song. On their own they’re quite nice, but then I have to ask why most of the chart doesn’t ever get this technical.
• 9.324: Misrhythm; this 4th note and the following 16th note are both the equivalent of one 16th late. (Strangely enough, you actually did step the correct rhythm later on.)
• 17.736: Again, this 16th is just a bit late. It should actually be an 8th note.
• 20.017: Ghost 32nd.
• 22.500: Starting here, I can’t really tell what you’re trying to follow in the song. It’s extremely vague. Is it for the percussion? The synth? I have no idea. There’s also a strange amount of one-hand bias for no apparent reason.
• 30.709: None of these mini-jacks make any sense. Where the first mini-jack is, there should actually be a 32nd burst (assuming you actually want to step every sound, otherwise you could dummy it down to a 16th triplet). The second two mini-jacks consist of ghost notes; the first note of each mini-jack exists, the second note goes to nothing.
• 38.108 & 38.514: Why not step jumps for these two loud hits?
• 43.784: I get what you’re trying to do with this 8th jack, but the sound you’re trying to accent doesn’t begin until 43.986 (the 8th note). I’d move the 4th at 43.784 to an up arrow so that it’s not part of the jack. This way you’re clearly defining that the first note is just for the bass kick and the next three are for the synth.
• 45.405-51.892: There’s a lot of blank space here. Why not fill in some of the gaps? In between the jumps, you could step that continuing 4th-16th-8th rhythm in the background.
• 51.892: Again, these two notes are late by a 16th. The gallop should begin on a 16th note and end in a 4th note, not the other way around.
• 64.865: Once again, the file gets very technical here. Some of it actually works pretty nicely on its own (although pitch relevancy can definitely be improved on, and more layering could be nice too), but once again I have to ask the question; Why isn’t more of the file like this? Why do only some parts of the file have more technical elements and the other parts are a lot more laid back?
• 84.020: Missing 16th for the synth.
• A bit after this point, you really start to lose sight of what it is you’re trying to follow, resulting in a bunch of sloppy misrhythms. Double-check that everything you’re stepping lines up with the song.
• I think there’s actually a couple of good ideas hidden in this file, but other than that this file doesn’t seem to know what it wants to be or how it should be structured. It’s very unpolished and very unfocused.

[5/10] OmochiMochip Pe-ta-ta-Turn {Umeboshi Chazuke} (Maximemoring)
• NOTE: Offset changed to 1.188.
• Oh snap, Chiptunes = WIN! Any chance you can ask about blanket permission? I’m pretty sure there would be a lot of interest from other simfile artists, myself included.
• 17.931: I sort of understand why you decided to step this as a single note instead of a jump, although at the same time it’s a little unusual that this one drum beat only gets stepped as a single note why the rest are jumps.
• 19.330: I think it’s pretty odd that you chose not to step jumps on every 8th here for the bass rush. Additionally, all of the 16ths here should be in a descending pattern (note pitch goes from high to low).
• 20.729: The way you’re stepping these 16th triplets is okay, but you can do a bit more to differentiate when the lead instrument plays one isolated 16th (20.185) and three consecutive notes (here). For the three consecutive notes you could step a mini-jack, and the isolated 16ths could be left as is.
• 36.351: A bit nitpicky, but you could move this 16th to a right arrow since there really isn’t a change in pitch here.
• 38.061-38.605: Missing a few 16th notes. Also, the 32nd trill is quite rude. This one is short enough where it’s still doable at this speed, but it’s really not fun. Change to a roll pattern.
• 38.812 & 39.123: Change these two single notes to jumps to go with the bass.
• 39.848-69.693: Starting here, there’s a LOT of really interesting percussion that you could incorporate into the steps. For the most part what you’ve stepped is technically accurate (although I don’t understand why 44.978 is stepped as an 8th jack but 54.926 isn’t).
• Personally I thought this part of the song dragged on for quite a bit. Look into cutting it shorter.
• 76.765: Missing 16th (not including all of the percussion you intentionally ignored)
• 79.330: This file start out very promising, but then THIS happens. As I mentioned before, 32nd trills at this speed are incredibly rude (you’re essentially asking the player to perform a 193 BPM 16th jumpjack). Even though the trill is technically accurate, it’s simply not fun and way too difficult. Please change these trills into roll patterns.
• For some of the more completely bonkers trills you included such as at 86.480 and especially 98.293 (even D7 players whimper at the sight of 98.293), it’s possible to use roll patterns and still accent the pitch changes. A simple and very manageable pattern would be something like 1-2-3-4-1-2-4-3; this is 100% jumptrillable but visually still relevant to the song. You could also go for something like 1-2-3-4-1-3-2-4, which is a bit harder to play but still usable at this speed.
• 83.371: Not sure what happened with the jump usage. You were doing just fine putting a jump to every bass kick, but then you forgot a couple here and stepped an 8th jump at 83.838 for some unknown reason.
• 89.356: Missing a couple of 16ths.
• 93.008 & 95.496: The anchored 8th notes don’t make that much sense. Please fix.
• 106.765: Ghost 16th.
• 119.434-124.408: Not sure why you decided to take a break from stepping the repeating 4th-16th-8th pattern.
• 128.138: Wow, abrupt ending. I thought this might have just been a bad cut, but then I listened to the full version of the song and found that’s really how it ends. Not really much you can do about the abrupt ending, I guess. Anyways, there’s really not much of a reason to use a hand other than to say “The End!”, a single note is good enough.
• There’s actually some really good elements in this simfile, but holy crap those 32nd trills are painful! Had it not been for those trills, this could have been good enough for Conditional Queue. Unfortunately, the trills pushed the file over the edge.

[5/10] Venus {a_rival} (boomerangbro10)
• NOTE: Offset changed to -0.063
• 7.622: Pitch relevancy at the very beginning of the song is a bit iffy. For the first measure, something like 2-1-2-3-2-4-2-3-1-3 makes a bit more sense.
• There’s a bunch of other PR issues throughout the file. You seem to have some understanding of the concept of PR but it’s not always well executed.
• 8.567, 12.346, etc: These 24th bursts aren’t actually 24ths at all. It’s a 32nd triplet followed by an 8th note.
• To be clear, 39.748 is correctly stepped.
• 11.008: The 24th grace notes are also incorrect. Once again, they should be 32nds.
• 16.835: 8th mini-jack is incorrect. 17.071 is a higher pitch than 16.835.
• 22.740: Now that there’s a drum kick on every 4th note, why not layer it in with jumps? I do see a few jumps here and there, but I think this part of the song could use some more to represent the extra instrument.
• 38.567: Missing 8th note. (Repeated MANY times throughout the entire file.)
• 39.039: If this 8th is intended to go with the hi-hat, you’re missing a ton of 8ths. If not, remove the 8th since there’s no other instrument playing on this note.
• 41.638, 41.110, 42.583: I’m really surprised you didn’t step hands here. You stepped hands for previous cymbal crashes, you should keep doing that throughout the file.
• 43.055: The only way I can see this note being justified as a single note is because the previous set of cymbal crashes are jumps. And as stated above, I think hands for the cymbal crashes works much better. Long story short, change this to a jump.
• 46.953: Missing 16th for the synth.
• 48.488: Missing 8th
• 63.016: Missing 16th
• 68.095, 75.654, etc.: If you really wanted to, you could step some 16th streams here. (Not a major issue.)
• 71.402: Missing 4th jump for the drum.
• 79.669, 80.614, 81.559: Missing 8ths
• 99.512: None of these 8th jacks make much sense. The synth isn’t played a repeated note. The only time the note repeats is the very first and very last note of each measure (so basically 99.984 and 100.220 are repeated notes, 101.874 and 102.110 are repeated notes, etc.).
• Additionally, the jumps during this part of the song are very arbitrarily placed. They don’t have any real purpose other than to say “Here’s the start of the next measure”. They don’t correspond to the drums and cymbals as they have in the past.
• 121.008: Starting here, you could begin layering in the high-pitched synth in addition to the runningmen. That way you’re not just repeating the exact same pattern as before.
• 132.819: This anchoring doesn’t need to exist. Change the 8th note or change the jumps.
• 143.685 onward is basically a repeat of 37.858-112.976. All of the above notes apply, however I’d also like to stress that because the music repeats itself almost verbatim, it makes the file quite draggy. I really wouldn’t recommend stepping the entire song. If you can cut the song, I would suggest doing so.

[4/10] Waiting for You {Unlike Pluto} (reuben_tate & Charmoeleon)
• 5.971: If your intention is to only step a jump when the vocals coincide with another instrument, then this jump should actually be a single note.
• 8.184: This 8th jack is technically correct, but it raises a question; Why isn’t 4.250 stepped the same way?
• 11.381: There’s a bit of a pattern collision here. The 8th mini-jack suggests a repeating note, but in actuality the two notes are going to two completely different things in the song. Personally I’d switch the 4th note to left and leave the 8th note where it is.
• 13.102: Missing note for the vocals.
• 13.348: Ghost note.
• 15.315: After this handclap, you’ve completely abandoned stepping the vocals, and many other sounds are outright ignored as well. You’d think now that the bass has kicked in, the steps would be a bit more energized, but instead it’s the total opposite. Maybe straight 4ths would be fine if the intention for this file was to be easier than a 5, but judging by the fact that this file also features a short 16th jumpstream and 16th mini-jacks, I really don’t think being easy is your intention.
• 21.708: This brass is stepped nicely though. Although you could improve this a bit by stepping jumps when the bass kick and brass play simultaneously.
• 22.937: Missing 8th note (bass kick)
• 23.183: The hand isn’t bad, but why is this the only hand in the song? There’s other places in the song where hands would have been fitting.
• 30.067 & 30.805: Missing notes. 30.067 is the same handclap as 22.199, 30.805 is the bass kick from the above note.
• 50.721, 51.213, 51.705: What are these hands supposed to go to?
• 63.015-78.752: Pitch relevancy and rhythmic accuracy is pretty good here, although I’d like to see other instruments layered in as well. For a more scaled-back file this would have worked just fine, but again I’d like to remind you that there’s a short 16th jumpstream and 16th mini-jacks waiting for the player later on in the file.
• 78.752: Jump (or hand) for the cymbal crash?
• 78.725-94.488: The quantization here is totally wrong; all of those 16th gallops should actually be 12th gallops.
• 94.488-110.224: For some odd reason, this part of the file has a much stronger emphasis on layering than 47.279-63.015, despite the music being identical. Please try to stay consistent, especially when it results in an unnecessary difficulty spike like this.
• 128.728: Ghost 32nd (the note you meant to step is actually an 8th, not a 32nd). Repeats again at 136.597.
• 129.650: Missing 8th. Repeats again at 137.519.
• 143.666: You don’t really need the placeholder jump here. If you want the file to keep going until the vocalist is done laughing, just step the laughter.

[4/10] YOU DONT KNOW WHAT {DJ Sharpnel} (Antronach)
• 9.364 & 10.499: Missing note for the hi-hat (same note that 11.634 goes to)
• 12.343: This is another really loud drum bang; this should be a hand as well.
• 14.329, 14.896, 15.464: Missing 8ths for the drum
• 16.527: Missing 16th
• 16.740: Snare drum; should be a jump
• 17.591: Personally I think these 8ths would work better as jumps.
• 17.946: Misrhythm. There’s no 16th here, just another 8th.
• 18.159: Jump or hand for the cymbal crash? I’m okay with only stepping jumps when the vocals and bass overlap, but at the very least some acknowledgement of the cymbal crash would be nice.
• 20.286, 22.556, etc.: I can’t hear a single 24th note anywhere in this entire song. I can understand wanting to differentiate this sound from the vocals, but a misrhythm isn’t the way to do. Use some color note theory instead.
• It’s also worth noting that once the layering gets really heavy, these 24th bursts can become very frustrating. 29.364 may as well have been a 16th jumpglut due to the way those 24ths are sandwiched in between the 8th jump and 4th hand.
• 27.662: I’m not entirely sure if these jumps are meant to go with the vocals or the synth. If it’s for the vocals, this jump should be changed to a single note. If it’s for the synth, then every 8th would have to be a jump (I don’t recommend doing this).
• I’m also a bit confused about the sudden shift to heavy layering. It’s not really accenting anything and just comes off as difficulty for the sake of difficulty.
• 36.315-45.393: I think these 32nds are meant for color-note theory, right? If that’s the case I’d recommend either using 192nds or manipulating the BPM so that the 32nds are closer to the 4ths and 8ths. The 32nds are too far apart from the 4ths and 8ths, which makes this part feel really sloppy, not to mention pretty much all of those 32nds are going to be off by a a frame in FFR.
• 45.393-49.932: Not entirely sure what the layering scheme is supposed to be.
• 49.932: Missing jump.
• 53.620: ^
• 54.471-70.357: Hand usage is very inconsistent here. I don’t see any well-defined rule for when to use a hand and when not to use a hand. Shouldn’t 55.889 be a hand? 63.549 onward just seems like more overkill just for the sake of it.
The rest of the file is mostly just the same overlayering as before. Above notes apply.
Originally Posted by hi19hi19 View Post
oh boy, it's STIFF, I'll stretch before I sit down at the computer so not I'm not as STIFF next time I step a file
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