[rayword45]

I'll probably get to Colour Haze pretty soon.


Day 13: Highly Refined Pirates by Minus The Bear

Minus The Bear is an indie rock band from where Kurt Cobain hailed. They don't play power-chord repetitions, though, at least I assume not. They play math rock, the genre that applies bands like Slint and Rodan, bands with far more complex and angular guitar playing than Kurt could touch. It's also the root of mathcore, which applies to more quality bands like Protest The Hero and Dillinger Escape Plan (I also like to throw Soundgarden in there solely due to messed up time signatures. Truthfully the guitar isn't crazy technical enough). I heard of this band long ago, and I thought they had a stupid name (this was before I ever listened to Butthole Surfers or Andrew Jackson Jihad or anything else with a weirdo band name) and somehow I was scared they would sound like Arab on Radar. On that last part looking back I have no freaking idea why. Looking at other bands of this genre, I have high hopes which I expect to be crushed. Which technically means I have low hopes, doesn't it?

This is not Slint-like at all. I'm sad.

0/10

Okay maybe not, that's only the first 30 seconds and that wasn't much of a fair chance. The songs are a mixture of guitar tapping, guitar arpeggiating and the odd addition of crappy synths. Also, this guy can sing, unlike Brian McMahan where the only time he tried to sing about washing machines it was so poor it turned a melancholy song hilarious. It's a good thing he stuck to speaking for songs like Good Morning, Captain. Speaking of melancholy, these songs do not fit the titles at all. Nor does the album title fit, at all. These guys would be the wimpiest pirates ever, no amount of refinement would ever lead to pirates sounding like this. But then again, album and song titles don't mean anything.

Anyways, back to the music. This album takes lyrics about sex, boozing and partying, and attempts to make it melancholy. And you know what? Half the time, it works! The other half of the time I would like to duct tape the singers mouth shut so I can listen to the guitar work without thinking "This is one of those emo losers." Because of that, Andy Wolff is my favorite track. The lyrics aren't ALL BAD though. Most tracks include a fair amount of wordplay when the vocalist isn't whining about banging a girl while cutting himself. I'd like to actually see a song about that. Imagine the title to that track. Regardless of the vocals, the plinking tap guitar is enjoyable enough, and the changing time signatures are enough to satisfy the term "math rock", at least as far as I know. Those synths also have great camp value with how awful they are.

I just realized that my joke rating makes no sense, because I'm not giving out ratings. But if you like guitar or hearing people sing in a slightly whiny voice about having a good time, listen to this. If you don't like that second part, listen to Andy Wolff first, then give the rest a try. If this is considered emo, this is what emo should sound like. It kicks bad emo bands like My Chemical Romance in the ass. Those synths are still laughable though.