[awein999]

It is definitely a last resort but is necessary for some situations. The information you can pick up upon can be helpful and constructive for the future. And sometimes it is necessary for protection purposes.

(hypothetical) Ex. 1: I'm suspicious my 16 year old daughter might have her first sexual experience with her boyfriend soon. Unfortunately, he doesn't seem to care for her as a person but she wants to be with him anyway. Whenever I even begin to get on this topic with her she immediately gets angry and dismisses it. I don't give off vibes of aggressive parental defense to her because I want her to feel that she can be with her boyfriend in her house. However, I make sure she always tells me where she is going and I try to get her to invite her bf over rather than go to her bf's. I speak to the boy's parents about my concern for my daughter, they tell me he is a fine young man that is simply figuring out where he is in life and assure me he will use a condom. His parents are too optimistic in their child for me to feel assured. I spy on her to make sure she doesn't get hurt and to make sure a condom is used if they are about to get intimate. I won't spy during intimacy. It is too personal of a moment for me to justify spying.

Ex. 2: My 13 year old son keeps telling me he can't go to school because he is very sad. He doesn't ever want to eat and he spends most of his time in his room. I've tried as hard as I can to try to figure out what he is upset about. Approached him kindly and asked if anything is wrong but he simply won't open up. His teachers at school say he is a fine young man and that his grades are good. I spy on my kid as often as I can here to see if I can pick up some information on what is wrong because he seems to be going through immense suffering and he might be contemplating suicide.
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So use your greater judgement as to whether you believe it is needed. It's ok when you logically believe all other alternatives aren't as helpful.