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**igotrhythm** · 10-19-2008, 03:28 PM

I like how the narrative keeps shifting back and forth to make the reader feel unsure of what will happen next, conveying the panic of the situation. Not bad, see if you can keep this going.

10-19-2008, 03:28 PM	#2
igotrhythm Fractals! Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: Meesheegan Age: 38 Posts: 6,534	Re: Mecha 785 I like how the narrative keeps shifting back and forth to make the reader feel unsure of what will happen next, conveying the panic of the situation. Not bad, see if you can keep this going.