i hate my situation...
 

i need some advice, seriously... no jokes, no bull... this is all the truth... in my sophomore year, i met this guy sean while i was playin handball at bedford park... i had asked him for a cigarette lol... we started hanging out once in a while, and then chilled at his house alot, until we became best friends... we were best friends for about a year, and one day i met his sister, i never knew about her because she was living in penn and he never talked about her... so we started talking, but not much... then this year, after me knowing sean for over 2 years, and me knowing her for a bit over 1, we start talking alot... we hung out secretly over the summer, cuz we knew he would have a huge problem with me hanging out with his little sister... (hes 22 now, and shes 16)... so then in november of last year, we realize we really like eachother, and we start to date on the dl... we dont tell him... but my guilty conscience tells me i must... were still together to this day, but he still doesnt know, but i fear if he finds out hes gonna have us break up and he wont ever talk to me again... but i love her so much... what do i do???

Re: i hate my situation...
 

elope

Re: i hate my situation...
 

wtf??? whats elope mean???

Re: i hate my situation...
 

you should tell your friend about you and his little sister. If you dont he will think you dont trust him and that will make it worse. If he is really your friend he would understand and would not make you two break up. If you two really love eachother than he has no right to make you two split up. Just trust your friend and see how things work out. If he acts mad about it then just tell him you really love his sister and he cant just make you stay away from her.

I hope everything works out!
-white wolf girl

Re: i hate my situation...
 

elope means to run away and get married

Re: i hate my situation...
 

Talk in decent english? Make it slightly easier to read about a stupid relationship problem.

Surely you must have one close friend who is not your friend or your friend's sister to ask for third party advice. FFR Forums tend not to be the best place for "relationship advice".

Re: i hate my situation...
 

that may be true but some people on this game may have some good advise.

Re: i hate my situation...
 

Wait so are you a girl or a guy

I thought you were a girl but now you seem like a guy.

Re: i hate my situation...
 

it may seem like a stupid relationsip problem to you, but really its a friendship problem you jerk... how am i supposed to expect him to trust me if im going behind his back, what im really looking for is an approach onto how i should tell him, not how i should be with my girl, and i bet you wouldnt like it if someone called your relationship problems stupid... a stupid relationship problem might be a disagreement of both parties, this problem is derived from a third party that interferes with us... im looking for a solution to make EVERYONE happy, and maybe i trust the opinions of other RESPONSIBLE AND MATURE ppl in the forum, like white wolf girl who just gave me a good idea... THANK YOU

Re: i hate my situation...
 

rofl im a guy and im 17, making me only a year and 4 months older than Bianca... sean is 22 and hes been my best friend for a long time, been through some tough **** and hes gotten me through it all... i owe alot to him

Re: i hate my situation...
 

You should've asked him first.

Your only option now is to masacre him and all of his henchman.

Re: i hate my situation...
 

hmmm... good idea, but how am i supposed to pursue a relationship in JAIL?!?!?! i really want to end up still good friends with him and still be her Bf... but he is as stubborn as a horse with a broken leg... (horses always stand, so how is its leg supposed to heal if it wont stay off it???)

Re: i hate my situation...
 

Basically, you have three choices, which I'm sure you've already thought about but it's always easier when someone else makes them clear for you.

1.) Tell your friend about the relationship you are secretly undergoing and run the risk of him blowing his top and putting an end to the relationship you desire to last.

2.) Ignore the fact that hiding it longer and longer will only cause even more discomfort in the scenario, but still continue to secretly date despite this...

or 3.) Stop dating his sister, pretend it never happened, and move on with your life.

In your case, if i were you i mean, choice 1 or 3 are the most obvious and appropriate. Considering the guy is 22, he best be mature enough to handle this kind of situation with proper conduct and appreciation, and not being immature and getting so angry at you that he forces the relationship to end. I understand older brothers are protective of their little sisters, especially when the brother is mature enough to WANT to protect her, but if he's such the friend you say he is, he would understand that at some point in time, his little sister is going to find someone that she will love, no matter if its you or some other Joe Blow from down the street.

In my opinion, however, secretly dating a girl to avoid confrontation of a friendship is stupid. Either don't date her and forget about it, or blow him off because he's just a friend, and you'll have plenty.

The decision is on you, not us. FFR isn't a place for relationship advice (i'm a hypocrite sue me), but thats my two cents.

Re: i hate my situation...
 

Mate, the reason im saying to talk to someone you know is so that person can give proper adivce. I dont know you, I dont know your friend, I dont know your friends sister. Because I dont know the people envolved how do I give you advice? I dont know how your friend reacts to people, statements and situations. We are outsiders and cant really give you detailed advice you need.

Talk to someone who knows you or your friend. Not us outsiders, the advice whitewolf gave was very generic and is about the best you can get. Your not going to get detailed approaches to your situation because that requires some detailed information that you get from knowing a person not over the net.

Re: i hate my situation...
 

i dont want a detailed approach, im PURPOSELY asking for an outside opinion... i have talked to some of our friends, and the answers are always biased... they know us, and they know him and they take sides and have false impressions that some things may happen... im looking for an honest, unbiased opinion from someone else... im just sayin to put yourself in my poition for a sec, what would you honestly do??? and in response to dancing maniac, if i would have mentioned something in the first place to him, he would have never let me come back to his house... he had told me about one of his friends who had met his sister and admitted he liked her to sean, and sean never let him come back and chill... if that would have happened to me, i would never have gotten to date the most wonderful girl ive ever met in my life

Re: i hate my situation...
 

If you cant have both girl and friend, choose one. Both have pro's and con's but it should come down to who you value more. If you want a long term RELATIONSHIP with her then you have to live with her brother anyhow. If you guys get married, the brothers going to show up to the wedding?

How about you doing some logical thinking, work out what you want and work out how to get there.

Re: i hate my situation...
 

hmmm... i guess your right... well, i guess ill call him and tell him i gotta see him... maybe is both bianca and i tell him at the same time, it will become apparent to him that this is the best thing for us...

Re: i hate my situation...
 

well definitely tell him, no it's not his right...but it kind of is your job as a friend. if he really can't accept the face that you two like each other...then he's not a very good friend. i mean it could be hard for him at first...but if he's a good friend like you say he is, he'll understand and be happy for you two. but i do understand...totally...ive had weird problems too. my worst was when i was going out with a guy and then after many months i found out i liked his sister lol

Re: i hate my situation...
 

Well whatever I have no idea what you should do. Hopefully you will learn to do some self-problem solving. Good luck working it out :)

Re: i hate my situation...
 

hmmm... i guess hes gonna have to accept it at this point... but if he doesnt, then ive lost a friend, but from what i understand, his parents have already allowed her to start dating... the main problem will be explainig why i lied to him for all this time... i was posing a fake relationship with some other girl just so i could sway his attention from his sister